Disclaimer: Bleach is the work of the maestro Kubo Tite.
Mirror Mask
Prologue
"Kaien-dono!"
Rukia awoke with a start, eyes snapping open even as she jerked from the aftershock of her dream. It took a few moments for the shinigami to register that the voice that had called out an instant ago belonged to no else but her.
She was no longer in the senzaikyu awaiting her execution. But somehow, the nightmares from the Tower of Penance had followed her home to the Kuchiki Mansion.
The girl padded softly across the tatami covered floor and lit the paraffin lamp on the dressing table. The soft glow from the yellowy-flame illuminated her darkened bedroom. As her eyes fell on the looking glass, she recoiled from the image of her reflection.
The light threw harsh shadows across her face, bringing forth vividly a haunted look on her face. And why not? Rukia did not need to look into the depths of her own eyes to find that the ghost of her past still lingered on.
Guilt… Shame…
Rukia tried to lift her gaze to meet her own eyes in the mirror. The pale, pale skin that had not seen the sun during her imprisonment encompassed the length of her shoulders to her neck. Her lips, her cheeks –just as ashen and bloodless. But, when she drew nearer and nearer to her large dark eyes, her gaze involuntarily slid away.
She couldn't do it. Guilt and shame… She could not bring herself to face it echoed in her eyes.
Absently, she tilted her head back and ran her hands down the arch of her neck. Fingers brushed the ridges encircling her neck –bruises from the red collar.
She thought of the battle wounds that had Ichigo, Renji and her brother constrained to the Fourth Division medic ward. The damage would heal, the healers had promised. But, the scars would remain, Rukia knew this.
Every mark a testimony to the pain she had caused. They would carry it across their bodies, and she would bear it in her heart.
Was there something wrong with her?
Why did every person that come in contact with her end up getting hurt?
All of them trying to protect her –when in truth, it was they themselves that needed to be protected from her. Isn't that right?
Rukia's fist clenched into her robe. I don't deserve this.
She didn't deserve to be rescued, unworthy of their struggles to give her a second chance at living. The shape of the Soukyoku released was that of a phoenix. Rukia thought it was ironic since the execution completely destroyed the soul. There would have been naught left to rise from the ashes. It had nothing to do with rebirth, taking you completely of the Karma Wheel. It wasn't baptism by fire. It was more intended to be the ultimate funeral pyre.
But if things had been different, could the flames truly consume the heavy knot of guilt in her heart? Rukia thought of her meeting with Shiba Ganjyu –anger and bitterness. She thought that some things could never be recovered even if she paid the price by going beyond death.
Shame… Guilt…
She could not even meet her eyes in the mirror. She could not even try.
Rukia slapped the mirror down on to the polished surface of the lacquer rosewood table. The fallen frame of her looking glass taunted her throughout the night.
Author's Note: Next chapter –Riddle me, Rukia.