For the rest of lunch break, the four of us ate and discussed many different topics. For the most part, Sayonika and Monika talked about the different books they loved to read. There was even a discussion on Sense and Sensibility that I managed to get to join. Kozue just ate and listened. I tried to include her as much as I could, but she didn't seem interested. Finally, lunch ended and we went back to class. Eventually, it was time for the club meeting. I was the first to arrive, strangely enough. Natsuki arrived next, then Yuri. "Eh? Where's Sayori?" Natsuki asked as she headed to the back to get her manga.
"Ah yes, about that, could I ask that you guys not get settled in yet?" I asked.
"Is something wrong?" Yuri asked, looking at me worried. "Did something happen to Sayori?"
"Well, yes." I said hesitantly.
"Come to think of it, I haven't seen her all day," Natsuki said. "Is she sick or something?"
What should we tell them? I asked.
Hmm…not sure honestly. You make that call.
Alright. I sighed. "Sayori took what in America we call a mental health day."
Yuri and Natsuki looked at me shocked. "That…doesn't sound at all like Sayori," Yuri said softly.
"Even Sayori's had days like this," I said. "It's been a while, but it's happened."
Now that you mention it…I wonder if any of her sick days were days like this, Meiji said.
Makes sense.
"Don't worry, I'm sure she's doing much better now," I said.
At that moment, Monika opened the door, panting heavily again. "Hah…hah…Oh man…am I the last one here again?" she asked.
"Don't worry, we all just showed up too," I said.
"Were you practicing piano again?" Yuri asked.
Aaaand we're back! I thought irritably.
It's a bit scary how this script keeps getting back on track.
Makes me wonder if the script is the real enemy.
I was thinking the same thing.
"Yeah, ahaha," Monika was saying as she looked over at me.
"You must have a lot of determination," Yuri said, smiling softly. "Starting this club then picking up piano."
"Well, maybe not deter-no, it is determination. And passion too," Monika said. "Remember, the club wouldn't be here if it wasn't for all of you. And I'm super happy you're all willing to help for the festival too. But," she began before Natsuki could interrupt, "Today's going to be a little bit different."
"Different how?" Natsuki, a bit miffed at being interrupted, asked.
"You may have noticed the absence of sunlight in the clubroom today," she said. "And I don't just mean the rain."
"Indeed. Josiah was telling us Sayori took a mental health day," Yuri said.
Monika nodded. "In a sense, yes. She needed the time to herself today. Josiah, Meiji and I thought that, instead of having the meeting here, we all meet at either Meiji's house or Sayori's. She didn't want to miss the meeting today."
"I think it would be better if we go to Sayori's place," I said.
"Um, y-yes, I agree," Yuri said. "I'm not sure if it'd be a good idea to go to Meiji's house again. No offense meant, Meiji," she said, looking nervously at me, or rather, through me.
None taken. Besides, I think it'd be easier on Sayori.
"He's not offended, and he agrees," I said. I pulled out Meiji's phone and shot off a text, asking Sayori if she was okay for people coming over.
Yep! I'm feeling a lot better after sleep! :))
Good. We're heading there now.
See you soon!
"Sayori seems to be doing better," I said, putting the phone away. "She's fine with people coming over. Are you all okay with this?"
Monika and Yuri were, but Natsuki seemed a bit hesitant. I saw her looking at the back closet. "Uuu, I guess so," she said.
"I can stop by my house and grab my copies of Parfait Girls if you want," I said.
Natsuki perked up a bit at that. "Um, yeah, that's fine I guess," she said.
I smiled then turned to Yuri. "And I'm sure Sayori wouldn't mind if you used her tea materials."
Yuri's face brightened at that. "Ah, y-yes, that would be appreciated if she did."
"Great, so we all ready to go?" I asked.
"Yep," Monika said.
"I'm ready," Yuri said.
"Yeah, same," Natsuki said.
"Then let's get going." I grabbed my bag and headed out. When we were on the street, I smiled at the girls. "So, who's ready for the festival?"
"I am!" Natsuki said, brightening. "Oh, I can't wait for the festival! It's gonna be great!"
"But weren't you just complaining about the festival earlier?" Monika asked curiously.
"I'm not talking about our part of the festival," Natsuki said. "But it's a whole day where we can play and eat all sorts of delicious food!"
She's sounding like Sayori, Meiji said.
And you're sounding like the game version of you.
Oh damn, I am?
I wonder if the script still has some control over you.
It might have some over both of us.
Hmm…yeah, I guess so. That's something we should discuss with Monika as soon as possible.
Agreed.
"Josiah?" Monika waved her hand in front of my head.
"Huh?" I looked over at the girls next to me. The three were looking at me, Monika and Yuri with concern and Natsuki with a bit of annoyance.
"Stop spacing out, nerdboy," Natsuki said.
"Oh, sorry. You were saying?" I asked, motioning for Natsuki to continue.
"Oh, I was asking Monika if they have fried squid," Natsuki looked at Monika with a grin.
"Eh?" Monika looked at her curiously, but after our gameplay I knew she was aware of what Natsuki meant. "That's something pretty specific to look forward to."
"Are you saying you don't like squid? You of all people?"
I stepped in. "Lemme guess, Mon-ika, right? Unless I'm mistaken, squid is meat and Monika's a vegetarian. I doubt she eats squid now."
Monika looked at me with a slight smile. "Ahaha, I have in the past, but yes, I don't eat it now."
"Monika, I didn't know you were a vegetarian," Yuri said, apparently eager to join in the conversation. She had to speak a little louder to be heard over the sound of the rain on the umbrellas.
"Me neither," Natsuki said.
"Yes, I am," Monika said. "I became a vegetarian a couple years ago after learning more about Earth's climate."
"Really? Why's that?" Yuri asked.
"The carbon footprint of cultivating livestock is just unbelievable," she said, her face becoming serious. "Anyway, I decided it's not much of a personal sacrifice to just stop contributing to that whole mess. You all had Suzuki-Sensei as first years, right?"
"Isn't she the biology teacher?" Yuri asked.
"Yes, that's her," Monika replied.
"I remember her," Natsuki said. "She didn't teach so much as lecture us. She's a vegan, though. Is she the reason you went all veggie?"
"Yes, she was, but I couldn't go full vegan like her. I still like certain animal products like dairy and eggs and such."
"Is there anything you miss about eating meat?" I asked as we turned the corner that headed down Meiji's and Sayori's street.
Monika stroked her chin, thinking. "Well…promise you won't laugh at me?"
"I promise," I said. The other two girls did the same.
"I miss sneaking out and having a nice, thick, juicy cheeseburger."
I raised both eyebrows. "Okay, that is not what I expected. But you know, there are veggie burgers."
"I've tried them," she said. "It really isn't the same. The taste isn't all that great."
I chuckled. "Well, I bet you that in the next couple years, the veggie meat industry will produce fake meat that will taste and feel like the real thing."
"He's right," Yuri said. "I actually read about this company in America called Beyond Meats a month ago. They have this burger patty called the Beast that looked real."
"I wish we had that here," Monika said.
"I'm sure it'll make its way over here someday," I said as we approached my house. "Girls, why don't you head over to Sayori's place? I'm going to grab something from my house." I saw Natsuki blush a bit as I went inside.
When I entered Sayori's house a few minutes later, I could hear the girls talking and laughing. I took my shoes off and went inside. I went in and saw them sitting around the kitchen table talking. The only exception was Yuri who was busy in the kitchen getting tea for everyone. Sayori was wearing her casual clothes. She did look a little happier than before. "Hey everyone, what did I miss?" I asked as I pulled up a fifth chair and sat.
"Sayori was telling us about a dream she had," Natsuki said, holding back giggles.
"A dream? Do tell," I said, leaning in curiously.
Sayori giggled. "Ehehe-well you wouldn't like it. It was about Meiji."
Wait, it was?
"That's an even better excuse. Go ahead, I wanna hear," I grinned.
Nooooo!
Yessssss!
Sayori grinned back. Yuri came out with the tea and placed cups down for everyone. "Lemme start over then. So, the dream starts out where Meiji and I are walking to school, right? Only Meiji had the head of a donkey!"
Having just taken a sip of tea, I couldn't help but spit it back out to keep from laughing. "Pppptthhh! He did?!" I felt Meiji becoming embarrassed.
Sayori laughed. "He did, he did! And only I seemed to notice. So there we are, walking together, when Monika comes up. She's got the head of a snake. It was so weird!"
"Snake? Weren't you scared?" I asked.
"No, just confused," Sayori said. "She was eating, of all things, an apple. I asked her when she got a snakehead, and she acted like it was completely normal."
Natsuki and Yuri were laughing harder now. Monika was too, but something told me the Snake in the Garden metaphor wasn't lost on her. I stealthily reached over and patted her leg gently. She looked over at me and gave me a grateful smile. "So, what happened next?" Monika asked.
"Well, next Natsuki and Yuri walked up. Yuri had a wise old owl head and Natsuki had the cuuutest little kitten head! Both were arguing over what kind of mouse tasted better. Then Monika got in on the conversation."
I was trying not to fall over laughing. Even Meiji was laughing at the thought. Sayori continued. Apparently Sayori was the only one who noticed the animal heads. Meiji and Sayori were just sitting there looking on as the three fought for the entire day on the benefits of eating certain types of small rodents. "Well, I woke up then."
I wiped tears from my eyes, sides aching from the laughter. "Oh my God, that's some funny dreaming there, Sayori." We took a few moments to compose ourselves. "Well, now that we're all here, should we get to actual club activities?"
Monika chuckled and nodded. "Right. Do you all want to do what we normally do before we share poems or do we want to share poems now?" Everyone agreed that they wanted to take some time to do what they normally did and so we headed into Sayori's living room.
Sayori's living room was a lot different than Meiji's. It was about the same size, but there was a large sliding glass door on the farthest wall that led out into a small fenced off backyard. Somehow, Sayori's family had managed to fit an entire L-shaped couch in the living room facing the television, a good sized flat screen similar in size to the one Meiji's family had. One side of the couch faced the sliding glass door and the other faced the television, creating the illusion of a separation between the living room and the kitchen. There was a glass coffee table in the center with a few magazines and a book sitting on it. Next to each end of the couch were two lounge chairs. I wondered if Sayori's parents hosted parties often when I saw that.
The girls all walked over and picked certain spots. Yuri took a spot near one corner of the couch and dug out her copy of Portrait of Markov. Natsuki took one of the reclining chairs and leaned it back, eagerly pulling out one of the volumes of Parfait Girls and reading it. Sayori lay down on one part of the sectional and began writing in a diary. Monika sat at the kitchen table, writing in a diary herself.
I decided to take the other reclining chairs and cracked open the next volume of Parfait Girls. The next volume started where the three were beginning to bake. Minori decided to make a coffee cake with a dark chocolate frosting, Taka made a teacake, Sayaka made a bittersweet chocolate cake, and Nakara, to my surprise, made simple vanilla cupcakes. When I saw the depiction of the cupcakes on the page, I was immediately reminded of the cupcakes that Natsuki had made for my arrival in the club. I held in laughter as Minori stumbled around the kitchen, getting into all sorts of trouble. I was surprised at how much research this mangaka had done into the baking part of this. She drew intricate depictions of each girl as they baked. In the back of the book there were even recipes for the baked goods in the book. At the end, everyone tried the others but realized that they needed another opinion. Sayaka then said she had a childhood friend she could call on. He wasn't the best cook, but he could be their taste tester as he had quite the tongue, jokingly called the God's Tongue by her. I groaned almost audibly at the Food Wars reference. The four agreed that each of their pastries were good but they needed a second opinion. The volume ended with the four heading home and Sayaka texting her friend, who is seen in the last frame as a handsome looking teenage guy.
Next I read the next chapter of Portrait of Markov. The next chapter started with Fujiko's first day at school. She spent a lot of her first day being shown around by Masae. The school was old, having been built around the time of World War 2 and not having many upgrades since then. Still, Fujiko described it as having "experience and maturity." However, Fujiko seemed to be feeling a little tense about the people. She described them as being too friendly, and it made her nervous. However, she chalked it up to new school nerves. She met some of Masae's friends that day as well. Near the end of the day as she was packing up her bags, one of her new fellow students, a quiet kid that Masae had described as "That weird kid," bumped into her and dropped something. Fujiko picked it up and saw it was a notebook labeled LIBITINA. She called out after the classmate, but it was too late. She decided to keep it and give it back to him later.
When she got home she went to her room to study. When she was nearly done, she reached into her backpack and pulled out the notebook. She let curiosity get the better of her and she began to read. What she found was chilling. There were a list of names, some of which she recognized as names she'd seen in her research. She found newspaper clippings that had been glued to the notebook that detailed disappearances from back in WW2. She then closed the book, not wanting to know more. She put the notebook back and finished her studying. The chapter ended with her going to bed, still feeling uneasy.
"Okay, everyone!" Monika's cheerful voice broke through my reverie. "Why don't we share our poems now?"
Everyone stopped what they were doing and I pulled out my poem for the day. I looked over at Monika who was already looking at me and smiling. However, I wasn't sure if that smile was genuine or not now. I walked over to her. "Hey."
"Hey," she said. "I know I asked this in the game, but I really do want to know if you've thought about what you're submitting to perform at the festival."
I smiled then decided to make a joke. "Tick Tock Clock, by Raphael de la Ghetto."
"Who?" she raised an eyebrow.
"Remind me to make you into a fan of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air when this is over. But in all seriousness, I'm not entirely sure. Perhaps the first poem."
"The long one? That would be a great poem, but perhaps a bit too long," Monika said.
"You're right. When do you want it?"
"I'll bug you about it later tonight," she said, giving me subtle bedroom eyes.
"Oh, stop it you," I replied as I ruffled her hair a bit, face flushed.
She giggled a bit. "You know what I mean."
"Yes I do." My smile then faded a bit. "Hey, Monika? You feeling okay?" I lowered my voice so as not to disturb the other girls.
Her smiled faded into confusion. "Yeah, I'm just fine. Why?"
"You've just been extra quiet since earlier."
She looked away, smiling nervously. "Ahaha, I'm just tired."
"Sayori's dream got to you, didn't it?"
She looked down and sighed softly. "Yeah…A snake eating an apple…I mean, I'm not Christian, but I've read Genesis before." She looked away, troubled. "Does Sayori really see me like that? As Satan?"
I sighed. "You and I both know Sayori's probably the last person to have any malicious bone in her body."
Monika frowned. "I know…but it still makes me think. What part of me was being controlled by the script in that game and which one is the real me? Which one of me is that possessive?"
I put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Trust me, you're doing great. I know you have a tendency to get jealous, but a lot of people do. There's nothing wrong with you. Okay?"
She smiled a bit. "Okay…"
I squeezed her shoulder comfortingly then let it go. "Now then, let's look at that poem of yours, shall we?"
Her smiled fully returned. "Sure thing. Here." She handed me her notebook and took mine and Meiji's poems. I looked over hers.
Home
Four walls and a roof and a simple white ceiling,
that's all that she ever desired.
A window to see the outside, a bed and comforter,
a place to rest when she's tired.
A place to protect her from wind, rain and heat,
a dwelling where she can keep her feelings discreet.
That was all she ever wanted.
And what does she find but misery and pain.
A world where the maiden's thoughts are her bane.
Constantly watched, constantly monitored,
a place to call home is all she desired.
That was all she ever wanted.
The world is cruel and heartless. "A pox on it!" She cried.
She tried to find a new place, but no dwelling could she find.
The trees laughed at her, the animals spat at her.
A hard floor instead of a soft bed.
She woke in another bed, four walls all around her once more.
She feared the worst but when the door opened,
she saw not harshness, but kindness behind the eyes of the one
who gave her all she ever wanted.
But…will it last?
It wasn't hard to guess what this was all about, but the style here was incredibly complex and convoluted. I read it through many times. I never knew Monika to be the rhyming type, but perhaps she wanted to try something new. I looked up to see small tears falling from Monika's eyes. "You okay, Monika?"
She looked back at me. "Oh! Um, yes. I'm sorry." She wiped her eyes. "Well, I guess you two are going through a crisis of your own, huh?"
You've got that right, Meiji, who had been silent for a while, finally spoke up.
"We both do. It's hard for us to not think about it considering it's right there. I mean, we're both practically inseparable. Unless we're in the Space Classroom, but even then we can't be alone."
Monika looked away sadly. "I'm ashamed to say that I haven't had much time to look into safely separating the two of you."
"Don't be sorry about that. You haven't had the time." I put a hand on her arm and squeeze gently. "We've been both distracted, okay?"
She looked away, bottom lip trembling. "I-I'm sorry," she stuttered.
"Don't be. It's okay. Let's focus on our poems, alright?"
She nodded. "Okay…"
I held up her poem. "You're still terrified, aren't you?"
She stiffened and looked away again. "Yeah…I am. I'm afraid that the game will reset after Monday. I'm afraid that Sayori'll hang herself."
A sudden idea came into my mind. "If you're scared, why don't we make a plan later tonight? Maybe…create a second set of that key for me."
An idea? Meiji asked.
Yeah.
"What's your idea?" Monika asked softly.
"Say worse comes to worse and Sayori hangs herself. You'll be able to see that, right?" Monika nodded somberly. "If she does hang herself and the game freaks out, perhaps we can pull her into the Space Classroom? You said yourself that the game script has no meaning in there, right?" Another nod. "Then perhaps we can revive her in there."
"The problem with that plan, though, is that if she tries to leave the room, I don't know how the game will react. It could delete her, or hurt her," Monika said.
"Then we keep her in there," I replied. "Look, let's continue this discussion at home."
"Alright." She smiled softly.
I looked at her poem. "I know we mentioned it earlier, but I wonder if this poem would be closer to the one you might have written if you hadn't had your epiphany. Judging from your backstory, perhaps your poem would be a hint as to your home life, or in the case, lack thereof."
"I guess that makes sense," Monika said.
I nodded. "What about you, Monika? Opinions on our poems?"
She looked at both of our poems. "Meiji, can I start with yours?"
Sure.
"Alright. You know, it seems as if there's less of the minigame's influence in here. This poem isn't really geared towards any of the girls today. But in and of itself, it's very…resentful, I guess is the emotion I get from that."
This hasn't exactly been the greatest week for me, he said.
When I repeated this, Monika looked at me, or rather, through me. "Are…you resentful towards me?"
He didn't say anything for a while, then, It's hard for me not to be. Believe me, I feel terrible for resenting you, but being trapped in my own body while some stranger runs it! And you're not out of the woods either, Josiah! You haven't even tried to give me back control!
"Meiji, there hasn't been-"
Don't give me that bullshit! There's been plenty of time during our freetime, but you've spent it flirting and making kissy faces with HER!
When I repeated this, Monika looked stricken. "I-I'm sorry Meiji, I…" she drifted off.
Meiji! I know you're upset, and I don't blame you for being angry about this, but that was completely uncalled for! I said, getting angry myself.
Screw you! You're not even trying!
That's enough out of you! I internally screamed. If you don't like it-!
T̵͕̒H̵̹͝E̸̖̐N̷̼̋ ̷̟͝Ŷ̸̰O̴̤͂Ų̵͂ ̴̮̈C̶̩͛A̴̢͂N̴̳͛ ̴̥̊D̵̲͛I̵͎͌Ě̴̮
Monika looked at us terrified. I felt the sudden rage subside, replaced with the horror that Meiji and I both felt. "It…happened again," I said trembling, gripping my arm with my other hand.
Josiah, I'm sorry…
No, I'm sorry. You're right. We haven't been doing anything.
I still shouldn't have done that…
"Guys…" Monika looked at me scared. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah…it's just, it happened again," I said. "We began to merge."
She began trembling a bit. "A-Again…?"
"Tonight, we're going to seriously look into trying to separate the two of us," I said.
Monika nodded. "Alright." She slid the poems back. "I think we should move on," she said.
Yeah, maybe that's a good idea.
"Meiji agrees, and I do too." I looked at Monika again. "Moni…"
She looked at me, startled by my shortening of her name. "Yes?"
"I'm really sorry. About what just happened."
She smiled, but the smile felt forced, like Sayori's. "No need to be sorry. We're all scared."
We seem to be doing a lot of apologizing, Meiji said as I picked up the poems and headed to a waiting and smiling Sayori who was sitting at the kitchen table.
We do, don't we?
"Hey Josiah!" Sayori said with a smile, which faltered when she saw my face. "Um, are you okay?"
"Huh? Oh! Yeah, just lost in thought," I said as I sat next to her. I held up both poems in her face. "Here you are, milady."
Sayori blushed a bit as she took them. She handed me hers. I was curious to see what she'd written, mostly because the game never showed her poem today. However, she looked at me sheepishly. "Um…I'm sorry, but I didn't write a poem last night."
To her apparent surprise, I put an arm around her and pull her into a close hug. "It's okay. Depression does that to people. It drains them of motivation. You don't have to apologize." I rubbed her back comfortingly, and for some reason I could feel that this was the exact action that Meiji would do. I continued to do this as she read over the poems slowly. As she did, I saw tears forming in her eyes. Once she was finished, she turned away to try and compose herself before turning back.
"These…are your best ones so far," she said with a now clearly fake cheerful smile. "They're both nice…" she looked away with a sad smile.
"Sayori, look at me," I said sternly. It was time for me to attack the sadness.
Startled by my serious tone, she turned. "Y-Yes?"
"How are you feeling? Right now. And be honest."
She looked back with a serious look of her own. "Only if you're honest with me," she said just as sternly as I sounded.
Please…don't lie to her anymore, Meiji begged.
And how will she react if she finds out she's in a game?
I know…but I meant about how we are. We're definitely not okay.
Alright. I cleared my throat. "Alright, Sayori. We'll be honest."
She smiled sadly, then her smile went away. "I'm still a bit tired…" she clutched her chest. "I don't…deserve this. You both are too nice to me…" She looked back at me. "Why are you doing this to me…? If you both had fun with everyone else instead, this would be…so much easier!" Her voice broke. Sudden realization came over her and she covered her mouth. Only Monika seemed to notice. She looked over at us concerned, but I smiled reassuringly.
I turned back to Sayori. "Listen to me, Lil Bun." That got her attention and she looked at me. "I know it hurts. But rainclouds…well, they're not permanent. And do you know what happens after a raincloud passes?"
Sayori, seeming to cling to every word I said, leaned in. "What?"
"Rainbows. Clean air." I gave her a reassuring smile. "Sayori, depression is a bitch I know, but-"
She shook her head vehemently. "I'm just being selfish…"
"Sayori Fujioka." I looked at her. "There are times when it's okay to want something for yourself. Look at me and Meiji. Right now we want what's technically impossible, to be free of each other…And I know Meiji wants a lot of other things too. It's not wrong to want things for yourself." She was trying desperately not to break down right then and there. "We love you, Sayori," I said softly in a tone I hoped was like a big brother. "Me, Meiji, Monika, Yuri and Natsuki. We all cherish and adore you."
Sayori broke. She began crying softly. I pulled her even closer, rubbing her back affectionately. I looked over and saw Yuri and Natsuki still hadn't noticed us yet, surprisingly. Monika gave me a quick glance and I smiled at her. She smiled back. I turned back to Sayori who was still crying into my shoulder. The uniform was getting damp as she wept. "How…how can you…care so much?" she asked haltingly.
"It's easy. Like this." And I hugged her closer and gave her stomach a quick tickle.
"Eheeeheee!" she squealed suddenly, and the smile that came over her face seemed to me to be more genuine than any other that I'd seen on her face. "That ticklllles!" she said. Looking at me, she pouted. "Meanie…both of you."
"Well, these two meanies love you dearly," I said.
Her smile faltered a bit. "But…how can you, Josiah? You don't know what I'm really like."
"I don't have to. Meiji's told me enough and I've seen enough to know that you're like the little sister I never had. To me, at least."
She blushed. "Okay…onii-chan."
I laughed and rubbed her hair. "Hai hai, imouto-san."
"Ahem!" a harsh voice interrupted our moment. Turning over, the little blonde tsundere stood over us, hands on her hips. "Are you two done?"
"Ehehe, yeah, we're done," Sayori said as I broke the hug.
Natsuki must have noticed the now drying tears on Sayori's face. "Sayori? You okay? Did Josiah do anything to you again?" She glared at me with a frown.
Sayori shook her head. "No no," she said with a smile. "I just really felt something from his and Meiji's poems."
Natsuki looked concerned. "I don't think I've ever seen you cry before."
"I'm fine, really," Sayori said, giving Natsuki a winning smile.
"Well, if you're sure." She held up her poem. "Which one of you wants to read my poem?"
I pushed Sayori forward. "Let her do it. But I hope you don't mind that she doesn't have a poem. She wasn't feeling well last night and today to write one."
Natsuki didn't look too happy about it, but she looked at Sayori sympathetically. "I…understand."
Natsuki sat next to Sayori and as I walked away I saw a rare worried look on her face as she softly talked to the little cinnamon bun. I turned and saw Yuri sitting near the window waiting for me. She turned away, face a little red as I sat next to her. "Hey, Yuri."
"Um, h-hello, Josiah. Hello Meiji." She smiled a bit nervously.
"Ready to share poems?" I asked, holding up mine and Meiji's.
She nodded and handed me hers. I handed her the two poems and looked over her poem. And my jaw nearly dropped.
Josiah? What is it? Meiji asked.
This poem…it's her beach poem!
Beach poem?
She'll explain later.
I read the poem over for Meiji's benefit, then put it down. As Yuri looked over the two, Meiji asked So…what's this poem about?
Oh God…I wish I…wait, I may have read a reddit post about it…let me think. During my DDLC phase, I researched the poems and their meanings. While some were easy to figure out, others I had to look up. But it'd been so long…but finally, a memory popped up. Yes, I think…this might have something to do with Yuri's views on love.
What do you mean?
I look at the poem again. She views love as dangerous but beautiful. The sandy beach is her comfort zone, but if she wants to be in a relationship, i.e., make sandcastles, she needs the water.
That's…sad.
Yuri feels things very strongly but she hides it behind her shy exterior. She's a wonderful girl, and worth our help.
Damn right!
I looked back, and saw that Yuri was still holding both poems and looking at them intensely. When she put them down, she looked over at me. "Um, may we start with Meiji's poem again?"
I nod. "Go for it."
She smiled. "Meiji, did you decide to do something different today?"
Kind of, yeah, he admitted.
"I'm guessing recent events inspired it?" she asked.
Yeah…
"Do you two really fight about everything?" Yuri froze the moment she asked that. "That is, um…uuu, that was rude of me to ask…"
"No, it's okay," I said. "Both of our poems were inspired by recent events, yes. And…we've had fights."
"I-I see…"
It's bad, isn't it?
Yuri shook her head. "N-No, it's not bad!"
"Meiji, it really wasn't bad," I said.
Yuri smiled a bit. "Well, for me, I believe what's most important is exploring and discovering yourself."
And I've really been doing a lot of that recently. Besides, I'd hate to disappoint you.
"Eh…? Why me…?" Yuri looked through me nervously.
Well, you're always sophisticated with your writing and have the most advice to share. And we were back on script. But I noticed something then. Anytime Meiji went back on script, I heard a small click in my head. I hadn't noticed it before, but the more we went back on script, the easier it was to feel. I filed that away to tell Monika later.
"Is that so…?" Yuri asked. She looked away, the gears of her mind spinning. She frowned. "…That must be terrible. For me to have become someone whose opinion is fearsome. How unlikeable of- Eh!?"
Before she could continue, I put both my hands on her shoulders. She at me, obviously trying to figure out what was going on. She was trembling a bit. "Yuri, that's not what Meiji meant at all."
No of course not! I just mean that I respect your opinion.
"I see… I'm sorry that I always overthink and come to those sorts of conclusions…"
"Being disliked, I take it?"
She brought her hands to her chest. "What…what am I saying…? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring that up." She couldn't look at me. Not knowing what to say, I let her regain her composure. "Ah, I'm sorry, I lost my composure a bit."
Switch to your poem, Meiji said. I've got a feeling it'll help calm her down.
"We all do sometimes," I said reassuringly. "So, what do you say we switch to my poem now?"
Visibly relieved, Yuri's smile returned. "O-okay. Well, your poem, Josiah…it's definitely an amazing one. I can tell your writing's improved from that first one you wrote."
"Ahaha, well I've had a couple years to improve," I said, blushing.
She smiled wider. "I'm glad…sharing our writing like this… It's a lot more fun and rewarding than I anticipated." She looked over at Monika, who was sitting near Sayori and Natsuki. "I need to remember to thank Monika…I think we all felt a little awkward at first. But now it seems like everyone is enjoying sharing their writing and seeing what others think."
"Oh, I agree. This has been a very fun and rewarding experience for me."
"Well…have you learned about yourself?" Yuri asked curiously.
"You know…yes, I've learned a lot."
She smiled again. "Good. I believe that writing is a very personal way to get in touch with yourself. In the end, it doesn't matter if you're a good writer, or a bad writer. And even my opinions are just opinions, you know? But even so…" she continued, smiling gently to herself, "This feeling…I'm so glad…I got a chance to share my writing. I never thought it would feel like this."
Meiji spoke up then, and I felt the click in my head. I can't believe that you're so good at something and you've never even shared it with anyone. It's a shame.
Yuri looked to the side again. "Maybe, but…it's not like I really…had a choice." Her smile became sad. "Meiji, Josiah…during lunchtime, I almost always eat my myself. Did you know that? It's a great time to find a quiet spot and do some reading."
I smiled. "You know, I do remember seeing you on Monday in the cafeteria reading something. You looked so relaxed with that thermos of tea and the book."
She chuckled. "Ufufu, yes, I was really into that book. In fact…I always have some books with me. You could say I really enjoy reading…"
She really is a bookworm stereotype, isn't she? Meiji asked, but not in a mocking way.
Yes. Let's keep listening.
"Books are so full of amazing and inspiring people. People you want to fall in love with, or people you just know would make a really good friend. Cheerful people, who always put a smile on your face, or deep thinkers and problem solvers, who discover the mysteries of life. So when you look at it that way, I'm surrounded by friends every day, you know? And those friends don't laugh at me, or tease me for spacing out all the time. They don't make fun of my body type, and…" she looked at me with an upset face, "and they don't hate me for acting like a know-it-all!"
"Yuri…" I'm speechless. Having her open to me like this was on my agenda, but not like this.
Yuri continued. "I'm not a know-it-all! It's the opposite! I don't know anything! I don't know how to talk to people, I don't know how to make people see me as normal, I don't even know how to make myself happy! I have all these feelings, and all I do with them is read and write. But it wasn't until now, when I started sharing with you and the others, that I really understood what I've been missing all this time." She looked at me with a smile of respect. "I know I'm a difficult person. I speak too slowly, I second guess myself, I read too deeply into things, but every time, you've always treated me just like anyone else. It's so rare that I feel comfortable with myself when I talk to others. But that's why every time I talk to you, even if it's for a brief moment, I just feel really happy."
I felt the click in my head, and the words nearly shot out of me. However, I stopped them and said what I was really feeling. "Yuri, It makes me just as happy to see you happy. It makes me glad to know that I could be such a positive influence on my life. And you've been a positive influence on mine as well. You're my friend, and one I'll treasure for as long as I'm around. Ditto for Meiji."
Damn right!
Yuri looked away, playing with her hair. "U-Um…if you put it that way…yes…we-we really are friends now, aren't we?"
"I'm proud to call you my friend," I said.
Yuri put her head in her hands, but she was smiling as she did so. "Th-thank you, Josiah, that means the world to me."
I smiled widely at her, then held up her poem. "Want to talk about yours now?" I asked.
"Oh, yes please!" she said almost excitedly.
"Great! So…you decided to talk about the beach this time around, eh?"
Yuri blushed a bit. "Um… I'm aware that the beach is kind of an inane thing to write about. But I did my best to tale a metaphorical approach to it."
"No kidding. But why the beach? Just curious."
"Oh, you haven't heard…? After yesterday, Natsuki and I, well, it was amusing that we wrote about something similar in such different ways. So, Natsuki wanted us to write about the same topic as each other again. I suppose to better compare the differences in our writing styles or thought processes. Anyway, it was her idea! Knowing her, it's no surprise she wanted to do something like that. She probably just wanted to show off. It's not like I have a particular interest in her writing style. I just went along with her request. But, well, I suppose it's not so bad to write about something simple on occasion. It can be refreshing, you know? It's good for me to calm my thoughts once in a while."
"Calm your thoughts? Yuri, are your thoughts in a turmoil?" I asked, hoping she'd open up a little bit.
"Ah, well, sometimes, yes…but not often," she replied. "It just happens, you know?"
"We all have days like that, but Yuri?"
"Yes…?"
"If you are having a day where your thoughts are in turmoil, don't hesitate to call on me." I pulled out Meiji's phone. "I'm your friend now. I want to make sure you're safe. And I will gladly listen to you vent without prejudice or judgement."
She blushed and looked away. "Y-You don't have to…feel obligated to help someone as unlikeable as me."
"I don't feel obligated," I said softly. "I do it because I want to. I want to look out for you. I want to protect you, to help you." I opened my phone and began making a new contact. "And you're not unlikeable." I held out the cell. "What do you say?"
She held out her hand slowly, then hesitated. She began to retreat, but, taking a deep breath, took the phone and quickly put her number in, handing it back to me. "J-Josiah…Meiji…this means…a lot to me. More than you can ever know."
"I'm glad I can help." I shot off a test text. She saw it and smiled, then began to put me into her contacts.
"Thank you…" she said, turning away and playing with her hair.
"You're welcome."
I stood and headed over to where Natsuki was just finishing with Sayori. Monika was right there to usher Sayori away to talk. Monika called Yuri over as well. It was that kind of gesture that caused my trust in Monika to go up considerably. She wanted a third person there, someone I trusted. And I did trust the other three girls. Natsuki was waiting for me over near the other couch, her arms crossed. "Have another deep discussion with Yuri?" she asked, frowning.
"Well, it was mostly me listening to her talk about her thought process regarding the beach poems you two wrote."
"Oh…she told you about that, huh?"
I nodded. "It's actually not a bad idea."
"It was her idea, actually," Natsuki said.
Hey, didn't Yuri say it was Natsuki's idea?
Yeah, she did… I felt confused and it must have shown on my face.
"Josiah? You okay?" Natsuki was looking at me concerned.
"Yeah…it's just…Yuri just said that writing about the same topic was your idea."
Natsuki put her hands on her hips. "Of course she did…well don't listen to her! It was her idea."
Knowing better than to argue with her right now, I held up my hands. "Okay, fair enough." I held up both poems and handed them to her. She snatched them out of my hands, almost eagerly. I carefully read hers over for Meiji's benefit.
So…what could this be about? Meiji asked.
Right. This poem…thank God she likes to make a point. I think this is a poem directed at Yuri. She wants to help Yuri with whatever problem she sees Yuri having. She might not know the specifics yet, but she senses something is wrong.
Yeah…okay I think I can see that.
I turned back to Natsuki, only to be greeted by an expression of concern. "Eh? Natsuki? Are you…okay?"
She held up both our poems. "I guess Yuri and I aren't the only ones who wrote on the same topic." She looked away. "Before we talk about the poems…I want to apologize. How I reacted on Wednesday…was inexcuseable."
The hell…she's acting really unusual. I look at her. "Natsuki, I-"
"Let me finish," she said sternly. Clearing her throat, she faced me and continued. "I know I come off as rude, but that's just how I am, okay? I don't want you two to hate me or anything."
"I don't hate you, and neither does Meiji. I'm not upset at how you reacted."
She looked away again. "I was just…confused that day, alright?"
"I understand. I would have been too." I smiled at her. "Let's get to the poems."
"Right!" Her demeanor changed to a cheerier one. "Where should we start?"
"Ours. Ladies first, after all." I smiled.
She grinned. "You're hopeless."
"Guilty as charged."
She then took a deep breath, as if she was bracing herself for something. "Can I…confess something to you?" Her voice was quavering a bit, and she was clutching her hands around our poems.
"Only if you relax," I said softly. I would have hugged her but this was Natsuki.
She nodded. After a few false starts, she said, "This isn't…easy for me to admit. But…I really do like both your writing. You have different styles, sure, but you make sure there's a message in them."
So why did you have trouble admitting it before? Meiji asked. There was that click again, damn it…
When I repeated it, Natsuki crossed her arms. "Well…of course I did! I just had to put you in your place a little bit! It's not like, I mean, it's not like I was shy or anything stupid like that! Or jealous! I really wasn't jealous. Just because you two happen to be good writers? That's such a dumb thing to get jealous about. Ahaha!"
Another click. I knew somehow what I was supposed to say, but I wasn't sure if I should say anything. I decided quickly. "Natsuki…you're not very confident in your writing, are you? Don't deny it."
Hey Josiah? Maybe Natsuki acts so arrogant because she's trying to make up for her own insecurities. Another damned click! If she acts like she's the best, then other people might think that way, too.
Natsuki looked at me. "Josiah…Meiji…please just tell me you two like my poems. I don't care if you hate them, just tell me I'm the best. I need to hear that from someone."
I reached over and put my hands on her shoulder. "Natsuki…I don't like them, I love them. And there's nothing wrong with feeling insecure. Just know that if you have any insecurities or anxieties, I'm willing to listen." I held up my phone. "Okay?"
"What…are you doing?"
"I want to exchange phone numbers with you."
To my surprise, Natsuki didn't protest. She brought out her phone and exchanged numbers with me in silence. "I…I know I sound stupid, but there's a reason I never shared my poems before this. Because, well…nobody ever takes me seriously! What's the point in sharing my poems if people just laugh and say, 'That's so cute, just like you, Natsuki'! Sometimes I don't want to be cute! But nobody understands that! I try really hard when I write, the style doesn't matter as long as the emotions are there. Why can't anyone see that? I just…want…" she trailed off as her lips started to quiver and she clenched her fists around mine and Meiji's poems.
I didn't care if she kicked me into next July. I rushed over and, ignoring the clicking, wrapped my arms around Natsuki. "I understand…but let me say something really fast. Yes, you're cute, but you're a lot more. You're confident, energetic, and always looking forward no matter what life throws at you. You have qualities I aspire to. I have mad respect for you, girl."
Surprisingly, Natsuki once again didn't protest to my hug. I could feel waves of approval from Meiji as I did this. "Th-thank you…that means a-a lot to me." As I released her, she held up her phone. "You'd better keep your promise, or you'll be singing soprano!" Her smile was back now.
I breathed a silent sigh of relief, but smiled to cover. "You're my friend, Natsuki. If you ever need me, I'll be there. But…let's get back to poems."
She blushed a bit. "Y-Yeah, of course."
I decided to ask her about her poem. "So…why the beach? I already heard Yuri's reason, but I'd like to hear yours."
Natsuki looked away. "Well… I felt like I kept writing about negative things, so I wanted to write something with a nice message for once. "Besides…the beach is awesome!"
"Damn right it is!" I agreed.
She smiled. "Right? Kinda hard to write anything negative about the beach."
Meiji said, Well, Yuri's take on it was a little more solemn.
When I repeated this to Natsuki, she frowned. "Jeez...she better not have said anything bad about mine!"
"Not at all," I said.
"Good. Ugh...you can really see her doing that, though… Making us write about a simple topic, then trying to impress me by coming up with something all fancy."
"Hey, remember what I said on Wednesday," I said. "Both your poem styles are equally valid. She has her style, you have yours."
She sighed. "True. I just did it anyway. I mean, I guess mine ended up being kind of metaphorical too, but there's nothing wrong with doing that once in a while! At the very least, it was good practice."
I smile and look at her. "Well worth it. And I'm happy that you showed this to me. I liked it."
"Good…I'm a pro after all," she said, still not sounding too confident.
"No argument here."
She smiled slightly. "Just…Remember that I can think these things sometimes, too." She looked away again. "You know, when you're nice to me, it's meaningful."
Smiling, I handed hers back, but to my surprise, she pushed it back. "I don't want it."
"Huh? How come?"
"I just don't! Jeez…"
Click. Oooh, I know what Natsuki is doing.
What?
She's giving us her poem in her own roundabout way.
I took the poem. "Then I shall take it."
"Good… If you didn't, I would…never mind, just…I'm glad you want it." She smiled faintly. "That's all for now, so, go put it away before someone sees it, okay?"
"Aye, cap'n!" I gave her a salute as I put her poem away in Meiji's bookbag. When I looked up, I saw Monika walking over to me. Her expression was grave. "Oh no…Monika? What's wrong. Tell me."
She looked away, tears in her eyes. "It's Sayori…she's getting worse."
Whoo! Another update! Hope you enjoy this!
morbiusgreen