Disclaimer: You know what goes on in these disclaimers, need I say more besides I do not own the copyrights to Doctor Who?
He never forgot her. Rose Tyler. A name he hardly spoke out loud, but had thought of her constantly even though he tried not to. He's only told two other people about what happened on that day, the day when he lost her. He felt like he lost his entire race all over again.
He remembered telling Sarah Jane Smith and Donna the Bride months after it happened. He never told Martha. Though it is funny how old and new companions are willing to listen to your stories, thinking that they can alleviate the pain. Except in the Bride's scenario, she just created and asked more questions. He was the Doctor and she the Bride, though not his. Sarah Jane Smith is always Sarah Jane Smith.
"Rose is alive?" Sarah Jane repeated after him. "But it's been at least a year, Doctor."
She looked over his shoulder as if expecting for the young woman to be running after him, but she didn't. There was no bouncy Rose Tyler with that smile on her which seems to brighten the whole universe. It was just Sarah Jane and the Doctor sitting on a park bench.
"Yeah. So is Mickey." the Doctor said his voice strained. He tried not to cry when he talked about Rose. "She was saved by her parallel father, Pete Tyler. Last minute you know…I can still remember the shock and how quickly she realized that it was the last time we'll see each other for a long time."
"Oh…how dreadful," Sarah Jane said mournfully. She remembered all those years without the Doctor, but at least she was in the same universe as he was. Unlike poor Rose, there was hardly any hope for a reunion. "Is there no other way you can bring her back or you to her?"
"Nah…I closed the cracks. I burned up a sun to say good-bye. I couldn't even finish telling her before time ran out. Can you believe it, a Time Lord running out of time? Oh if they were still around, I would never hear the end of it and that would have been forever."
"Did you close all of the cracks? Even the tiniest of ones?" Sarah Jane asked, she seemed pretty excited but tried not to get her hopes raised. She learned not to all those years ago, but then he came back.
"Sarah Jane Smith, are you implying that I might have missed one?" The Doctor asked mockingly, for the first time in a long time. "Though there is the chance of the TARDIS and me missing one…a few. Nothing harmful as you can tell."
"Doctor! The universe is huge!" Sarah Jane started to say.
"Right on that," he said nodding with a small smile.
She slapped his arm lightly before continuing, "Is there not a chance that there might be a stray crack somewhere out there?"
The Doctor looked at Sarah Jane before his face breaking into a grin. "Sarah Jane! You sly journalist! Inquisitive as always, I see."
He locked her in a bone crushing hug.
"So you're going after her then?" Sarah Jane asked. She wasn't jealous of his favorite companion, but worried and more hopeful. "When you see Rose and Mickey, tell them that Sarah Jane and K-9 miss her. Good bye, Doctor."
"Oh, Sarah Jane…" He said sadly again. He sees an old companion, just to lose her also. "My offer is still up if you want to go. A chance to see old faces with new personalities and advanced technology in the same year as now. You can still come with me."
She sighed and smiled at the Doctor. The Doctor whose face and personality changed, but it's still him inside. The same Doctor that didn't know that she had snuck onboard the TARDIS while he was following a kidnapped scientist through time.
She shook her head and said, "I'm sorry, Doctor. But like last time, I still can't do this anymore. I've found a life of my own without you and it sounds like you need Rose in yours. Even for just another moment. Godspeed."
"Good-bye, my Sarah Jane," he said trying not to sound too rejected. And this time he knew, without her telling him, that this really is their last good-bye.
He hugged her again and they both knew that this is it. They smiled and the Doctor walked away and disappeared into the big blue box.
That was almost five years ago and he is now far from Earth. He's almost given up hope, but he's already given it to the other life forms he encountered. Throughout his search for a crack, he has been on numerous adventures though none were as much fun and interesting anymore. He's helped freeing slaves, leading life forms out of destruction, and various other life saving forms from their life of despair.
Though in the fourth year of his wandering, he had a bad feeling but he couldn't place where. It was as if one day some part of his heart stopped working, a part of him that could only belong to one significant other since he last saw her. His own despair, it would seem that there are no more cracks between the worlds, but he couldn't just give up on Rose just yet. Even if it cost him another regeneration, Rose was worth it.
He was far from Earth now. He wasn't even aware of what year it was. As he looked at the TARDIS monitor, he noticed the button that Mickey Smith pressed all those years ago while he and Rose reminisced; it was the same button that might have led them to the parallel universe. Though he denied that the button didn't have anything to do with their unknown destination, it might…
"Sorry to do this to you, old girl," the Doctor said to the TARDIS. He patted and caressed the TARDIS console in a loving matter.
As he pressed the button, he was not aware of the tiniest of cracks between the two universes, open up. It was as if the universe could not cope with his pain anymore.
For hours, the Doctor kept on pressing the button despite his finger growing tired of doing nothing but pressing.
"Poor Mickey," the Doctor said with a small smile. "Shouldn't of had put him through that."
He was about to give up and pull his finger away from the small button when the TARDIS suddenly rocked and shook. The whole console room went dark and sparks flew all around as the TARDIS landed. The Doctor lost his footing and hit his head on the railing. Things were much darker after that.
Hours after that, the Doctor regained consciousness through the heavy fog of the dreamless sleep. He touched his head where he hit it and was not surprised to find a bump and blood. Surprisingly, the TARDIS was not destroyed completely. Sure there were a few sparks and exposed wires here and there, but the TARDIS and with his help, can heal.
He staggered outside and his eyes squinted as they adjusted to the harsh bright light of the Earth sun. He felt something inside him flare back to life with the heat of the sun hitting him and the smell of chips just wafting all around him. He grinned at all the familiarity that was Rose.
It looked like he landed on parallel Cardiff from the looks of the sign board. He looked at a window belonging to a shop and was happy to find that he was still in one piece, still the same face from when Rose saw him last. All around him, people were talking and better yet, they were not wearing those awful EarPods. Don't want to face Cybermen again anytime soon, but the thrill of an adventure has awakened in him.
"Rose…She said she worked for the parallel Torchwood, right?" He thought to himself out loud and to the TARDIS. He took a step before a thought crossed his mind, 'But what if I'm in some other parallel universe in the multiverse?'
A man pushed past him and he came face to face with a poster of Pete Tyler. Though instead of the animated poster being an advertisement for those Vitex health drinks, it was him holding a poster stating that "Torchwood and UNIT is here to help with your alien problems."
"They've gone a lot more public now," he stated.
With the TARDIS out of commission for now in a safe enough environment near the not closed rift, regretfully his only way of transportation was either by a motor vehicle or the Eurostar train to get to London. He was glad though that the universes didn't implode or anything extreme like that. He was giddy all day.
He opted for the train since it seemed like the faster route. He arrived at London a day later due to misreading the time schedule and which train went where. He did meet some nice folks with whom he interacted with and he did save a man from choking on a celery stalk. He also found out that it was July 8th, 2010.
From there he walked on foot towards where he last remembered the alternate Tyler's residence in London. Hours later, he was greeted with a large black iron gate about two kilometers from the actual mansion. Should he use the sonic screwdriver? He was about to ring in when a loud high pitched voice yelled.
"You!"
"Me?" the Doctor asked. When he turned to greet the owner of the voice, Jackie Tyler was suddenly right next to him holding a shopping bag. He resisted the urge to step back and shield himself from the oncoming slap that was overdue. It never came.
"YOU! Rose said that you'd never come back, but look at you in your smart suit still and only after three years," Jackie exclaimed. She looked exactly the same from the last time he saw her, besides the fact that her hair was a little longer and the clothes she wore seemed to fit around her loosely.
He was about to lift her in the air and spin them around in celebration, when the Doctor noticed then the toddler who was hiding behind Jackie. "Hello, there."
"This is William. He'll be turning three near the holidays. William, love, say 'ello to an old friend of Rose's," Jackie said. She moved to the side a little so that the boy was still behind her, but enough so that the Doctor could see him properly.
He kneeled down in front of the boy and held out his hand, "William. That's a pretty strong name. I'm the Doctor."
William's nose scrunched up and hid behind Jackie again. He mumbled, "I hate doctors."
The Doctor laughed a little and shook his head, "No, I'm not that kind of doctor, in a sense."
"Doctor who?" little William asked cautiously.
"Come on now. There's no sense to be talking out here," Jackie said. She punched in the code and the gate swung open with ease. "I'll just put this inside and we'll go see Rose. She'll like the company."
"Rose? Is something wrong?" the Doctor asked worried once he straightened himself out. He noticed how her voice changed when she talked about her only daughter.
"Rose chose her brother's name. I knew she thinking of suggesting your name, but when I asked her why she didn't all she said was 'I don't even know his name'," Jackie sighed. "She said she wanted her brother to have a strong name. Before, Pete and I thought we were having a girl, so Rose suggested Cassandra. So in the end, it was dear William."
She unlocked the door and went in first, leaving the Doctor to shut the door behind them.
"Jackie, you're back! If I had thought you'd be home early I would have put Pete on hold…Who's this?" Mickey said from the halfway down the stairs with Jake. "Doctor? What are you doing back?"
"Mickey. Jake," the Doctor said nodding to each of them. He thought that Mickey wanted to be the only man in Rose's life again. "You know. Saving the universe and what not."
"It's him! It's you ain't it?" Mickey asked. "When'd you get here?"
"Mickey the Idiot," the Doctor said grinning. He looked behind Mickey as if looking for someone. "A day or two ago. It turned out that there was a small crack left in some desolate corner of the universe and it just so happened that it worked when I pressed the same button you did back then. Where's Rose?"
"You're late," Mickey said disconcerted.
"What?" he asked confused in an unusually high pitched voice. His smile fading.
"Oh, dear. Umm…perhaps you'd like some tea before we go see Rose? That sound alright?" Jackie asked suddenly.
"I'll catch you later, Mickey. Going to see how those new kids are doing in Torchwood. Bye, Mrs. Tyler. Doctor," Jake said descending down the stairs. He waved to them before disappearing out the front door.
"That's okay, Jackie," Mickey said. He continued down the stairs until he was on the landing. "I'll take him to Rose. Just watch the house and Will."
"Oh, that's not very fair…" Jackie said.
"Mummy," William said. For a moment, he reminded the Doctor of young Jaime. "I want to eat!"
"Okay, okay you little porker. Off you two go now," Jackie said. She set the bag on the floor and scooped her son in her arms before disappearing into the next room.
"Come on then," Mickey said and started to lead the Doctor back outside.
They walked around the mansion until they were in backyard. Before where it was just a field of grass with some stray tress was now a beautiful garden full of blooming flowers. They followed a small trail of grass in silence.
"How long has it been for you?" Mickey asked bitterly.
"Four, no wait…Five years. Yeah," the Doctor said nodding.
"Oh," Mickey said. "I thought it might have been a few days or whatnot. You haven't changed faces again. It's been four years since the Torchwood thing."
The Doctor looked around the garden and a gentle breeze swept past constantly blowing petals around. It was beautiful to watch as the petals fluttered by gracefully.
"Yes, Mickey, these are lovely roses, but I'm looking for Rose. Rose as in person, not plant," the Doctor said as if talking to a mentally slow human.
"I know," Mickey said his voice tight. Tight from what? "She's here."
The Doctor looked around, expecting to see Rose lying near the flowers or even gardening. Rose isn't that domestic, is she? He had shown her the most exotic flowers in the universe, but now she doesn't have access to them here. He put his glasses on and squinted, "I don't see her. I need new glasses."
"Nah. Have a sit down," Mickey said.
They stood out in the middle of the garden and there was a stone bench with stone roses entwining the holes in the back. A few feet away from them lay a small pale blue rectangle with gray veins all around in. The Doctor couldn't make out the words on it because of the petals, but something was wrong. Where was Rose?
"Nice garden," the Doctor stated trying to get rid of the small chill building inside of him.
"It was for her, you know. We tried cheering her up after the whole beach in Norway. It was just like the time you sent her away with the TARDIS, but this time there were no Bad Wolf signs to guide her back to you or the TARDIS. She said that she was useless here, stuck at this house eating chips again."
"That's not true," the Doctor said interrupting.
"We told her that, but she didn't believe us. Pete managed to find a few stray pictures with the two of you at the other Jackie's party. She was pretty happy then. Weeks passed and she seemed to be getting better, moving on," Mickey said looking at the blue stone marker on the ground. "Well months passed and she was almost back to her old self, back when she had not met you. Things were going great at here, Torchwood and she managed to become a celebrity there."
"Mickey, tell me what happened," the Doctor said sternly, but he could feel himself breaking. He listened to Mickey with every fiber of his alien being. He was right, all those years ago on Dårlig Ulv Stranden …he would never see her again and the proof was right here in front of him.
"Right. Well, last year it just happened so fast. She was readjusting to her life here with us. Rose was leaving Torchwood for the day, I was with her. We were both pushed aside as some man ran past us and a woman screamed about her purse being stolen," Mickey stopped. He seemed to be reliving the day. He sighed, "I guess there was still a little adventure and fight in Rose, and she dashed after the man. I told her that it was pointless and to let the authorities handle it, but she ignored me. I can't recall what happened, but she tackled the guy. You should have seen her. Fantastic, you would have said."
"How did she…how did she die?" the Doctor said having difficulty with the words. Tears started forming in his eyes…Brave Rose. She would risk her life for a woman who had her purse stolen.
"The guy…he had one of those knifes you know that come out of the belt buckle. The man said it opened up on accident, but the stab to the thigh wasn't the one that kill her. The mugger, he pulled a gun and shot her below the sternum. He almost got away if it weren't for Pete. He decked the guy and then the authorities came and hauled that murderer away. She managed to live through the ride to the hospital and the surgery, but it wasn't enough. Not enough time for her…She told the hospital staff that she didn't want any medication to ease the pain. I guess she knew she wasn't going to live through it, but she was at peace with that. Her last word was your name 'Doctor'. She died the morning after that. Broken heart or heart failure, but you were in her mind the whole time. She thought of you to her death."
"Oh, Rose," the Doctor said mournfully.
It had all made sense now, the previous year when he was inside the time vortex. He had felt her passing and did not even know it. He should have known and done something!
He dropped to his knees in front of the light blue rectangle. He moved the flowering vines with small flowers aside and read the heading.
Rose Marion Tyler
Defender of the Earth
Born on parallel London, Earth.
Born: April 27, 1987 – Died: July 8, 2009
Age: 22 years
Daughter, Friend, Alien Specialist, Bad Wolf
"Fantastic"
"Can't you go back in time and save her? She told us that you let her see her real father back when you had big ears and that Northern accent. Can't you do that now?" Mickey pleaded and begged of him.
The Doctor didn't respond, but as much as he wanted to; he can't. There would be another time paradox and the universe will be in peril. Let the whole universe blow over, that didn't matter as long as he was with Rose again. He came to see Rose only to know she died, he probably made more fractures just crossing though the void. He already let a sun burn to death just to exchange a few words with her one last time, but that just fueled him more to see her despite the fact he told her that he'd return back to his old life of adventures. To see her smiling face and her love for him would be enough to once again face the dangers of the next. He's decided then that Rose was worth the pain of it all.
He didn't know how long he kneeled there, but slowly lay down on top of the grave of the bravest woman he has ever met. Mickey left some time ago to let the Time Lord grieve. When nightfall came, the Doctor stayed vigilant next to the light blue grave that was fashioned like the TARDIS.
The Doctor remembered the last words she said to him. Her words of open affection for him and he didn't even get to return it back to her because he got caught off during the message.
Now the moon shown to its full potential and its borrowed light from the sun brightened up the pitch black sky. Stars were not littered across the nighttime sky because the zeppelins had caused further damage than they thought. Despite the lack of stars, the moon would have been a perfect nighttime stroll for a werewolf and the Royal family.
"Rose Tyler," the Doctor said. He stood next to the grave and stared with tear filled eyes at the last resting place of his Rose. He wiped the tears away with the back of his coat sleeve. "I'm sorry that I can't spend the rest of my life with yours."