Chapter 19

Heartbroken

Ginny took a deep breath as Hermione looked back up at her.

"Ginny…what? What happened?" Hermione asked, looking confused.

"You accidentally drank Amortencia. It wasn't stable," Ginny said. Hermione sat down.

"I feel so awful," Hermione whispered and put her head down into her hands.

"I'm so sorry, Hermione," Ginny said. Hermione frowned and picked up something off of the floor. She un-crumpled the newspaper and stared wide eyed at the picture of her throwing herself at Ginny in the middle of Diagon Alley. "We didn't have the ingredients to make the counter potion. We had to go to Diagon Alley," Ginny explained.

"We were kissing," Hermione said, confused. Ginny nodded and stepped forward, putting her hand on the brunette's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Ginny whispered. Hermione pulled away abruptly and stood, moving around the redhead.

"I can't be near you right now, Ginny. I feel like the entire world has just collapsed on me," Hermione said and ran into her room.

"Hermione!" Ginny yelled after her, then whispered quietly, "I'm sorry…..I still love you," Knowing the brunette couldn't hear her and probably wouldn't care even if she did. Ginny sat in the chair that Hermione had just vacated and cried. A few hours had passed and Hermione hadn't come out. Ginny could tell the brunette didn't want to be anywhere near her.

'I should go. Leave, so she doesn't need to be forced to see me again,' Ginny went to her room and pulled out her magically enhanced backpack that Hermione had charmed for her, making it hold an amazing amount of things and be very light so it didn't hurt her knee. Ginny pulled her wand and moved all of her things into the bag quickly. She did the same throughout the house leaving no trace of her having lived there at all.

She pulled out a quill and a piece of parchment.

'Hermione,

I'm sorry for everything that's happened and everything you are feeling right now. I'll be gone so you don't have to deal with anymore of this drama and uncomfortable situation. I loved living here with you. I'm sorry I ruined everything between us. I hope you feel better. I'll miss you more than you can imagine.

Ginny'

Ginny read the note and sighed as a tear dropped onto the ink slightly smudging her name. She quickly wiped her tears and folded the note up and went to her room, grabbing the novel that Hermione had been letting her read. She put the novel down on the desk and put the note on top of it. Ginny quickly reached behind her neck and unclasped the necklace that Hermione had gotten for her. She set it down as well and sobbed quietly against the counter, before grabbing it again and putting it back on.

"It's all I have left of her," she whispered and grabbed the gemstone tightly before picking up her backpack and apparating away.

Ginny went to see a friend in Diagon Alley she knew who rented small flats to students. She quickly got a one room flat by St Mungos Healing School. It had a kitchen for potion making, a loo and a bed in the corner. The entire flat was almost the size of her room at the burrow.

Ginny spent the next few days brewing the potion and finishing her essay, which she was able to add specific details into some of the potions properties. On Wednesday, she went to class and came right back to her flat and began her next potion project, the Amortentia counter potion. She made it easily and did the essay that night.

She didn't have class again until Friday. Ginny laid on her small bed in the corner, wishing she knew what potion they were doing next so she had something to distract herself with. Unable to distract herself any further, Ginny leaned against the wall and cried holding the necklace with one hand.

Hermione emerged from her room the next morning, not sure what she planned to do or say to Ginny to make the situation comfortable. She could remember most of what happened while she was under the Amortencia, although things got fuzzier the less stable she had become. She knew she had thrown herself at Ginny, multiple times and Ginny had shut her down each time.

The brunette thought about how she felt under the potion and almost wished she still had the euphoric portion of it. She had been so happy. While analyzing her feelings, she realized that was basically the only thing that changed. She didn't have that fake euphoric feeling. She still felt everything else…..she still loved Ginny, probably always loved her and just hadn't recognized that intense emotion and tried to rationalize it as a deep friendship, but she had deep friendships with Ron and Harry and she didn't dream about being with them. Nor did she think about her time with Ron constantly like she did with the night she had with Ginny.

Hermione walked about the house with a slight frown. It seemed weird, empty almost. She quickly realized why when she got the courage to open the door to Ginny's room. She was gone. Everything was gone.

"She left," Hermione whispered, as a tear slid down her face. 'She didn't mean it when she had said she loved me. I knew she didn't, but for a while, it felt real. She was just saying it to calm me down because I was getting unstable…I hurt her,' Hermione thought, remembering that she had lost control of her power while under the love potion and had hurt Ginny with it.

Hermione crawled into Ginny's bed, wishing her blankets and pillows were still there so she could hold something that smelled like her. She laid there until she heard her alarm going off in her room. She pulled her wand and silenced it and kept laying there. She didn't get up or go to work for two days. Just laid there crying from time to time, wishing she could have Ginny back. Wishing Ginny felt the same for her. Hermione lost track of time sleeping and crying, when a familiar voice rang through the otherwise empty home.

"Hermione?" she heard quietly from across the house, "Ginny?" she heard a bit louder. Hermione rolled over and put her back to the door trying not to cry.

"Hermione, what are you doing in here?" she heard Harry say as he entered the room.

"Go away, Harry," Hermione whispered.

"Where's Ginny?" Harry asked, noticing the empty room. "You haven't been to work in two days, everyone is really worried. No one has seen Ginny except her classmates and they said she left right after class."

"Please go away," Hermione asked.

"Hermione, I'm worried. What's wrong….did you guys break up or something?" Harry asked, coming to sit on the bed.

"We were never together, Harry. It wasn't real," Hermione whispered.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked.

"She's been studying Amortentia. She dropped her sample, so she had to scoop some out really quick in my mug. I got home and accidentally drank it. None of it was real," Hermione said.

"For it not being real, you seem pretty upset," Harry said.

"It wasn't real for her. She just placated me because I was becoming unstable. I hurt her," Hermione whispered.

"Is she alright?" Harry asked worriedly, knowing that people under Amortencia could be very dangerous and that those who became unstable often killed their obsessions.

"I think so….it's hard to remember, I was really bad towards the end. I think she calmed me down before I hurt her too much," Hermione said.

"So…you do love her?" Harry asked.

"It doesn't matter, Harry. She left, she clearly doesn't want to be around me," Hermione said as a few more tears slipped from her face.

"Did you read her note?" Harry asked. Hermione turned around, looking at him confused. "It was on your desk," he said, handing it to her. Hermione unfolded it and began to read. She quickly scanned the letter, then laid back down and handed it to Harry.

"It just says she left. I knew that already," Hermione whispered. Harry looked at the note.

"It kind of seems like she didn't want to leave. It doesn't specifically say I love you, but it does say she will miss you and she is leaving to try to make you feel more comfortable," Harry said.

"I don't think she loves me, Harry," Hermione said.

"But, do you love her?" Harry asked. "You're not under the potion anymore, but you still seem pretty heartbroken. I know that's a side effect after you drink the counter potion, but it doesn't last days, Hermione," Harry said.

"I do, I have for a while, I think….we were…..together, the night before we all left. It was just a one time drunk thing. I've wanted her since then," Hermione said.

"Together, like…..?" Harry trailed off, not wanting to be wrong in his guess.

"We had sex, Harry, the night before I went to America. It was amazing, she is amazing," Hermione said. Harry tried not to laugh.

"Maybe she really is a sex god. I assume she was able to get you to…finish?" Harry said with a grin. Hermione frowned at him.

"Yes," Hermione said and Harry laughed loudly.

"It's not funny, Harry," Hermione grumbled.

"It kind of is… Ron is going to have such trouble with his ego. He couldn't get you there but Ginny did with one time," Harry said with a grin.

"Well, you've been with her. She's amazing," Hermione said, rolling over.

"She is very good about pleasing her partner, very selfless," Harry said, "Why do you think she doesn't love you back? No one has seen her, Hermione. I think she's hurting too," Harry said.

"Believe me, Harry, I tried to get with her. It was very obnoxious now that I look back on it. If she wanted me she had the chance, she refused me every time," Hermione said.

"Hermione, of course she refused. You were under a love potion, your ability to consent was gone. She wouldn't sleep with you like that. I know the media likes to make Ginny out to be some kind of player or something, but she's not, she rarely saw anyone while she was playing for the harpies. Ron and I set her up a few times, but she never went past a second date. I seriously don't think she's been with anyone since that night," Harry said.

"I'm sure she was just busy with her Quidditch and her Healing Masters," Hermione said.

"Hermione…while Ginny was a professional quidditch player she had girls throwing themselves at her. Which is why the media liked to make her out to be some player. She had a lot of chances to be with a lot of girls. She didn't," Harry said.

"What are you getting at, Harry?" Hermione asked.

"I'm saying that after she came out, she kind of played the field and saw a lot of women. Then you had your night together, of course I didn't know about that at the time, but something changed in her, Hermione. She didn't have 'just having fun' friends anymore she didn't really see anybody. She always claimed she was too busy, but believe me she had a lot of chances to have a quick one night fling like she used to and I don't think she did," Harry explained, then took a breath.

"With the knowledge I have now and how she seems to be acting,… I would say she loves you, Hermione," Harry said, "She has probably loved you since that night, as well. You're her straight best friend. It's the most basic lesbian cliché. Of course, she didn't pursue you. Of course, she didn't sleep with you while you were under the love potion. Ginny would never think that's ok. She probably thinks you don't want her. I can only imagine how hard this weekend probably was for her. Having the woman she loves throwing herself at her, literally, and not being able to do something," Harry said. Hermione turned over and sat up.

"You think she might love me?" Hermione asked.

"I think she does. Believe me, while you were gone she asked about you a lot. She scolded Ron and I for not writing often enough. She worried about you the entire time. I think there's something there, Hermione. Ginny has been having a hard time with her confidence since her knee. She really medically shouldn't be walking on it. There is absolutely nothing there supporting the bones. It's hurt her more than just physically. She feels like she's going to be a burden. Like I said she has no confidence, she thinks you're straight, she has no reason to believe you care for her like that. Of course, she's hiding her feelings. I think she loves you. That's just my analysis of the situation, but I'm no genius," Harry said.

"I should talk to her," Hermione said, sitting up and moving to sit by Harry.

"You should," Harry said, "But no one knows where she is," Harry said, making Hermione frown.