A warm hand pressing gently on his shoulder caused Severide to stir, blinking the sleep out of his eyes as he blearily looked at the person standing in front of him. He sat up straighter when he noticed it was one of the nurses.
He hadn't even realized he had fallen asleep. But after everything that had happened, Severide figured his body had been a lot more tired than he had realized.
The nurse smiled. "Sorry to wake you, but I thought you'd like to know that your boyfriend made it through surgery just fine and is now back in his room. You can go sit with him again if you'd like."
Severide felt like he was on cloud nine. Casey was okay.
Standing up, wincing at how tight his back felt after spending way too much time in the hospital chairs, he stiffly followed the nurse down the hall and back into Casey's room.
Thanking the nurse, he watched her walk back down the hall before he pulled the sliding door shut and took up his old post next to Casey's bed. Sinking into the worn-out chair, he couldn't help but smile. Although Casey's left shoulder was heavily bandaged and secured to his chest in a heavy-duty sling, the fact that he was now on the road to recovery made Severide's heart soar. It made him realize how much love he held for the man in front of him. He couldn't imagine going through life with anyone else by his side.
As if reading his thoughts, Casey began to stir. It was subtle at first; his face twitching like it did anytime he was waking up. Then he began to turn his head, groaning as he finally opened his eyes, squinting at the harsh light of the fluorescent bulbs above.
"...Sev?" he croaked, blinking rapidly as his body fought to come out of the fog of surgery.
"Hey baby, I'm right here," he soothed, grasping Casey's hand as he leaned closer to the bed.
Casey turned his head toward Severide's voice before he broke out into a goofy smile, the effect of the strong painkillers he was on apparent on his face.
"Hi," he said simply, giggling childishly as his eyes roamed lazily over Severide's face.
Severide couldn't help but laugh. Casey looked adorable.
"Hi yourself. How are you feeling?"
Casey frowned, seriously considering the question before a stern look settled over his face, one that Severide had seen many times as Casey went into "Captain" mode. "I dunno, m'body is numb."
To emphasize the point, Casey began poking his leg over and over, frowning further when nothing came from his experiment.
Severide grabbed his hand, pulling it away from his leg and intertwining it with his hand instead. "That's just the painkillers. You can feel my hand though, right?"
"Oh yeah, I feel it," he hummed, rubbing his thumb over Severide's hand. "Nice and warm. And rough. Do you use moisturizer? I think you could use it. Make your hand nice and soft. Like a cloud. Fluffy…" he trailed off, his gaze focusing on something on the ceiling instead. Severide could do nothing but laugh at how drugged Casey was. The blonde had always been a lightweight when it came to alcohol, so not being used to heavy painkillers caused him to be higher than a kite.
"Hey, Case? Why don't you get some sleep? You'll feel better when you wake up." And will hopefully be more coherent.
"Okay," he replied, before closing his eyes. He was asleep in seconds.
Severide shook his head fondly, removing his hand that was still clasped with Casey's.
Making sure that Casey was comfortable, he sat back in his chair and decided to call Chief Boden, letting him know everything went well with the surgery.
After the call, full of well-wishes and support from the rest of the 51 crew, Severide once again found things going smoothly. Casey had continued to sleep and Severide had managed to get some breakfast and a book to read at the gift shop, waiting for the moment he was finally allowed to bring Casey home.
Four hours later, he was finally discharged, and they made their way back to the apartment after their two-day stay in the hospital. It had seemed like more than that, Severide feeling like he had spent weeks there, so it was nice to finally be able to get things back to some sort of normalcy as Casey began his journey of recovery.
Parking the car, Severide glanced over at Casey and noticed that, while he looked pale and tired, he didn't seem to be in much pain as of yet.
"You doing okay over there?" he asked, wanting to make sure Casey wasn't in any discomfort.
Casey shot him a small smile. "I'm good Sev. I'm not in any pain if that's what you're asking. Just tired."
Severide nodded. "Good. I'm glad to hear that."
Climbing out of the car, Severide walked around to the passenger side where he opened the door, extending his left arm to help Casey out of the car. Pulling him gently, he managed to get him up without jostling his shoulder too much. Shutting the door, he placed his arm around Casey's waist as they slowly walked inside, ensuring that he could catch him in case he lost his balance or got dizzy from the medication.
They made it to the apartment without incident where Casey shuffled over to the couch, sitting on it gently with a soft sigh.
Severide removed his jacket and hat before walking over to help Casey out of his gear.
"Wouldn't you be more comfortable in bed?" he asked, carefully removing his good arm from his jacket. "You should get some rest, your body needs it after everything it's been through."
Casey scoffed, rubbing his good hand over his face. "I'm sick of lying in bed. I was just stuck in one for two days. I just want to sit on the couch right now."
Severide put his hands up in fake surrender. "No problem with that. I just want to make sure that you're comfortable."
"Everything's fine, Sev. Now, why don't you join me on the couch? We could watch a movie. We could even watch Space Jam."
"Don't have to ask me twice. Space Jam it is."
Rifling through their DVD collection, Severide found his beloved copy of the movie and popped it into the player before dropping onto the couch next to Casey. Making sure they were cozy, he snagged a blanket off the back of the couch and spread it across their laps so that every part of their legs was covered.
Silently, he pulled Casey closer to him, mindful of not tugging on his bad arm, so that they were pressed against one another. He felt Casey snuggle impossibly closer, leaning his weight against Severide as the movie finally began. Severide sighed in content, taking in the moment. Casey was home; things were going to be alright.
Sometime later, Severide opened his eyes, realizing that he had fallen asleep. The TV had shut itself off and judging the darkness outside, Severide had been sleeping for quite some time. Glancing next to him, he was relieved to see that Casey was still there, but the relief quickly morphed into concern when he noticed that the man was shaking.
Severide reached over and turned on the lamp, bathing the both of them in its soft yellow light. Casey's eyes were shut tight as he hunched over on the couch, wincing every time a tremor went through his body.
"Hey, Case, what's wrong?"
Casey didn't respond, sending a pang of worry through Severide's chest.
"Casey, what's going on? You with me?" he asked, grabbing onto Casey's right arm as he slid to the ground, positioning himself so he was kneeling directly in front of him.
Finally, Casey cracked an eye open, glazed over in what Severide knew was because of pain.
"Hurts, Sev," he whispered, gritting his teeth when a particularly violent tremor shot through him.
Severide felt his heart sink. Casey was shaking because of the pain.
Shooting a panicked look at the nearby kitchen clock, everything suddenly made sense. Casey was overdue for his pain medication by two hours.
He gripped Casey's knee. "I'm going to be right back, I just need to grab your pain medication."
Rushing over to the kitchen where he had placed the prescription he had picked up from the pharmacy on their way home, Severide popped one of the pills into his hand as he filled a nearby glass with tap water. Hurrying back to Casey's prone form, he gently pried his mouth open and placed the pill on his tongue, raising the glass to his lips as he helped him take a sip.
Setting the glass down, he waited in tense silence as Casey gradually began to relax, letting his shoulders drop as the tremors finally stopped.
"Thank you," Casey breathed, sitting back so he was resting against the couch.
"Of course." Severide tried to keep his tone light, but he couldn't help but let some of his frustration through. Now that he knew Casey was okay, the anger at what he had done bubbled up. Casey noticed this, of course, and frowned, eyeing Severide warily.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
Without meaning to, Severide exploded, letting all of the emotions he had experienced in the last 48 hours out in one angry burst.
"What's wrong?! How about what's wrong with you? Why didn't you wake me up? I could have gotten your painkillers way before it got this bad! I'm supposed to be taking care of you Matt. but I can't do that if you won't let me help you." Severide started pacing, breathing heavily as his emotions took over. His fear of losing Casey had overpowered everything else, leaving nothing but anger as he thought of all the things that could have gone wrong.
"What if your shaking had ripped your stitches and you started bleeding out? What would you have done then, huh?"
He paused, searching Casey's face for answers, and was surprised to see anger forming on his face as well.
"Maybe I didn't want to be a bother for once! Besides, I was perfectly fine. I didn't ask for your help and I certainly don't need you to baby me!"
Severide laughed bitterly, crossing his arms over his chest. "Oh, you didn't need my help? Why did I find you shaking in pain barely able to move then? It seems like you really had a handle on it. Why don't you stop acting like an entitled baby and just let me help you?"
Casey's eyes hardened as he stood up, the hurt on his face apparent as his gaze never wavered from Severide's face.
"I'm going to bed and you are not going to follow me. You can sleep out here tonight."
With that, he turned and walked toward their bedroom, slamming the door as he left Severide standing in the living room alone.
Still fuelled with anger, Severide grabbed the closest thing to him, a glass ashtray he and Casey used for their cigars, and threw it against the far wall, watching it explode into millions of tiny pieces.
It felt good at first, letting his anger out, but the feeling quickly faded and he was left feeling ashamed. He had just yelled at Casey; taking his anger out on his hurt boyfriend.
Pinching the bridge of his nose at the headache starting to grow, he collapsed into a nearby chair, staring at the closed door of their bedroom. Why did I have to go off on him like that?
He groaned when the full weight of what he had said sunk in. He had called Casey an entitled baby. And while that wouldn't phase most people, Casey was extra sensitive when it came to taking care of him. Growing up in the household he did, showing any sign of "weakness" was punished, conditioning him to keep all of his feelings to himself, including anytime he was sick or hurt.
Despite the trauma behind it, it had, in actuality, become one of the things that Severide prided their relationship on, as Casey had once told him he only felt safe opening up to him. Now I've gone and ruined that.
Checking the clock once again, Severide noted the time as he mentally made a note to give Casey another painkiller in four hours. Knowing he wasn't going to sleep during that time, and being fully wired from their fight, he began to come up with a way to make things right with Casey again. He needed to make sure that Casey knew he loved him and could trust him to help him any time he needed.
Suddenly, an idea hit him. One of Casey's biggest comforts was food. It was a passion they had bonded over, spending a lot of their free time cooking and baking in the kitchen. Despite it being late, Severide knew he had to make something that showed Casey how much he was loved.
Setting his sights for the kitchen, he began quietly setting up everything he needed to make Casey the best apology meal there ever was.
To be continued!