Chapter 24: Loki
Loki sat on his bedroom windowsill, overlooking the city of Asgard with one booted foot on the ledge. He'd changed into clean clothes, happy to discard the memory of his near death at Thanos' hands with the bloodstained tunic.
If only other failures could be so easily forgotten.
He knew the moment Odin entered the room. The sound of the Allfather's footsteps was as familiar to him as the four walls around him.
"You snuck past the guards," Odin said after a moment of silence. "Again." He sounded more weary than annoyed.
Loki turned from the view to face him, shrugging. "What can I say? Old habits." He gestured to the room, the motion encompassing the furniture and possessions that had once been his. "You left everything here." He would have thought the Allfather would have ordered his belongings burned when he was imprisoned after invading Earth.
"Frigga insisted," Odin replied. "After she died…" Odin trailed off, but Loki knew what he didn't say. Odin hadn't had the heart to do something that would have displeased Frigga, even after her death.
In that regard, they were much the same, Loki realized.
"Why did you come back when Thanos attacked?" Odin asked, his tone hardening as if he had to make up for the momentary display of grief. "What have you gained?"
Loki recoiled from the sting of the words. "You think that's all I care about?" he asked. "My own gain?"
Odin made no reply.
Loki swallowed past the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. What right did Odin have to question his motives after everything he'd done? "Was I ever anything more than Laufey's son to you?" he demanded. "A pawn in your political games?"
Odin held his gaze. "You were my son," he replied. "I loved you and you betrayed me."
Were. That word cut like a knife.
Loki stood up, tears blurring his vision. "No," he said, his voice shaking. "You betrayed me."
Odin watched him calmly. "But you're not angry with me," he said simply. "If you were, you'd have taken your revenge already."
Loki shook his head slowly. "No," he whispered. "Not with you. Not anymore." He had chosen to spare Odin's life three years ago when Laufey attempted to kill the Allfather and he intervened. He could have let it happen. But no matter how evil the worlds chose to paint him, there were some lines he knew he would never be able to cross.
The betrayal still stung like an open wound, but Loki was done seeking retribution for it.
He turned away from Odin, looking back out the window as the Bifrost came to life far below, its energy racing out towards the Observatory.
"Frigga hoped you would return one day," Odin said softly behind him. "She never gave up on you."
Loki bowed his head, closing his eyes briefly. "I wish I could have been there," he said, forcing his voice to sound steady. "For the funeral."
"You're not the only one with regrets," Odin said.
Loki turned back to face him, surprised to see tears in the Allfather's eyes. For a moment he felt like a small child again, a little boy who wanted nothing more than to step into his father's arms to comfort and be comforted.
But that version of him was long gone, lost to a person who had seen too much, felt too much, done too much.
So instead he met Odin's eyes and said simply, honestly, "I'm doing this for Frigga. I'm trying to be better for her."
Odin nodded once. "I know."