Chapter 2 Secrets part one

"Dori, Jim I know you said I was grounded and that I couldn't go anywhere but school, but I was wondering if you could find it in your hearts to let me ride Bandit for an hour or two today?" Caitlin asked as she came into the kitchen. Dori and Jim looked at each other.

"We'll talk about it and let you know later." said Jim.

'That's better than a straight out no' she thought to herself. She walked into Griffin's room. "Hey Griff, what are you doing today?"

"Eric and I are going to hang out, maybe catch a movie. Nothing big." he responded not taking his eyes off the computer screen.

'Good so he's not going to the school year kickoff party' she thought.

After thinking it over Jim and Dori decided to let her go riding for 2 hours. Caitlin grabbed Griffin's cell phone as she left his room, and now she was calling Will as she saddled Bandit up. "Hello?"

"Hey stranger"

"Babe, I thought you were grounded off the phone?"

"I am, the house phone, they never said I was grounded off cell phones."

"Oh, so what's up?"

"I'm getting ready to take Bandit out"

"Oh…you wanna meet somewhere?"

"Sure, then we can go to that party."

"Aren't you grounded?"

"Are you coming or not?"

"Yea I'll meet you outside Anderson's Bar."

"Alight see you there."

Caitlin rode Bandit through the field like normal then when she was out of sight turned to cross the road heading into town.

2 hours later Jim and Dori were on the porch looking for any sign of Caitlin and Bandit. "I knew this was a bad idea. What are we going to do with her?" said Dori.

"I don't know."

Caitlin rode up the drive way and to the stables. "Tonight was great" she said to herself as she unsaddled Bandit.

"Oh please tell me about your great night" said Jim from behind her.

"Jim hi…"

"In the house now" he said sternly. They walked back up to the house. Once they were both in the house Jim lead her to the kitchen and sat down at the table. "I don't know what's going on with you Caitlin. First you skip school, then you run away, now your lying to us and sneaking off. What's going on?" He asked running a hand through his hair.

"Nothing's going on."

"Then please tell me why your doing this, why are you acting out like this?"

"This is who I am take it or leave it."

"We're not going to deal with this Caitlin."

"Then call up the social worker and tell her you've had enough." She said standing up.

"Caitlin you are part of this family and we stick together. We are not going to send you away just because you're making a few mistakes in your life. You've had a tough life, we never expected you to be perfect." He looked up and met her eyes. "I'm worried about you. You are heading down a path that's going to get you in a lot of trouble. As a sheriff I know this, as your guardian it scares the hell out of me." He put his head in his hands. The look in his eyes and the words hit Caitlin hard. She knew that they cared and that they wanted to help her from the beginning but, her life was to screwed up. They didn't even know the half of it. For the first time in the six months that she's been there she apologized for all the trouble she's caused. "I think that you, Dori, and I should all sit down and talk. We want to help you Caitlin.

Later that night she was laying on her bed when she decided to write in her journal. She only wrote in it when she was really lost.

Dear Diary,

I'm so confused. Ever since my mom died I was numb to the world. Getting into trouble was like my escape. It was a way for me to let out how I felt, how much I hated the world around me. I can't control my life anymore. It's like I'm outside looking in watching my life fall apart piece by piece.

Jim and Dori are trying to help me, but the closer they get the more I push them away. I'm afraid to get close to them. Last time I was close to someone, I ended up alone in a foster home. I'm not going to let that happen again!

By the time she was done writing, she felt tears welling in her eyes. 'I will not cry I will not cry' she told herself. She went to her bathroom and grabbed a razor that she kept in her medicine cabinet. She slide down the door and once she was sitting on the floor she pulled up her sleeve. On her arms there was old scares, fresh cuts, and half healed cuts. Putting the blade to her skin, she pressed it in and pulled it making another vertical slash on her arm. Letting the blood fall from her arm onto the floor she made three more vertical slashes before putting a rag on it to stop the bleeding. She grabbed some gauze pads and medical tape and bandaged her arm up before going to bed. She's been doing this a lot lately. She started when she was 12 years old, so she was an expert on how deep to go, how much blood to loose, and how to fix it up, and hide the scars.