Summer started out fine enough, even though Kageyama could've done without the nightmares that began late at night and woke him up early in the morning.

His mother was up with him more than once, and he didn't know if that was because he was too loud, or if it was because she was a light sleeper.

Either way he appreciated the few moments of company that gave him.

The worst part about these nightmares though was that he could never remember what the dreams were about. They were gone the moment he awoke, leaving only the feeling they'd created behind.

"Where did you get the nightlight?" his mother asked one night while she sat on the edge of his bed.

Kageyama shifted in bed, "A classmate. It was a gift and I figured it would be rude not to utilize it."

"I see." She didn't say anything else about it.

His mother wasn't very good at comforting him when he was upset. It was obvious to him she didn't know what to do, even if he wasn't crying.

Kageyama didn't like crying, especially since he knew his parents didn't like it.

His father said he was too old, and his mother panicked. He was fairly sure he got some of his social ineptitude from her. So while Tobio appreciated his mother's logic and ability to remain calm for the most part, it made her rather emotionally unavailable.

Which left his father, who could be helpful sometimes, but could also barely handle his own emotions and couldn't help Kageyama control his all that often.

"Do you have any idea why you're getting nightmares?" she asked.

"No." Kageyama murmured, glancing up, her face barely visible from the faint light.

"You aren't watching any scary things, right? No one at school has been telling you stories."

"No, mama. I can't even remember what the dreams are about." Somehow he knew it was the same one every time, however.

He watched a small, tight smile stretch across her face before she said, "Do you think you will be able to go back to sleep now?"

"Yes, mama. I think so… but um, I'm just wondering, how do you keep knowing I wake up."

"Sometimes I can't sleep. I hear you."

"Oh… well, thank you, for coming to check in me.'

"Of course."

The older he got, the more he knew his parents. He was fairly sure he'd imagined most of his mother's easy affection from when he was a small child, but he'd also realized she might not be intentionally cold with him.

She acted the same way around his father for the most part, and anyone she talked to. Most of the things he didn't like, were just her. She was stiff, emotionally detached, and overall, a cold person.

He noticed when she didn't hug him, when she didn't understand his emotions but tried to logically fix the problem, and began panicking if it didn't work.

"If you need me, just wake me up." She whispered.

His mother was still a stranger to him. He didn't know her at all, and detached or not, it was entirely her fault that they were strangers. Both his parent's faults.

Kageyama knew he couldn't trust them with anything actually important to him. Knew they would overreact.

He thought they tried, he thought they truly did, but it wasn't enough for him.

"Okay, mama, I will."

After that she left without even squeezing his hand. He didn't really mind though, he expected that. Didn't stop him from feeling like something was missing.

During Summer, it was usually just him and his mother. Kageyama helped her around the house, though no matter how much he helped she always seemed to find something else to do. When she couldn't she would just wander around the house with a dissatisfied look until Kageyama suggested something.

"Mama, maybe this summer we should try to find friends."

"Why?"

"Well, isn't it just a little boring being in the house all the time, just making food and cleaning?" sometimes he convinced his mother to take a break, told her they deserved to watch a movie.

She always fell asleep though, or got up during the middle to do something else, like she couldn't sit still unless she was sleeping.

"It's not that boring." She dismissed.

Kageyama huffed quietly, disheartened by her answer, but not put out. "Mama, what will you do when I leave?" he asked.

"Don't talk about that." She said placidly. "That's not for another five years or so."

"But what will you do?"

"I don't see why I would do anything."

Kageyama let out a small sigh, "Mama, you dedicate most of your life to me. What will you do when I'm not here? Won't you feel lonely?

"I'll have your father."

"He's only home for a couple hours of every day. Then you guys go to sleep. You'll be alone the entire day."

"I don't mind that." She answered and Kageyama fell silent. "I don't very much enjoy people as a whole. I don't feel the need to talk with them."

"Then what about papa? You had to talk to him, you married him after all."

"Your papa was not exactly planned. We had one night, and that's all it was supposed to be. But then I became pregnant, and we did what we thought would be best for you.

"And if you hadn't gotten pregnant, would you be together?"

"Most likely not."

"… Would you be with your soulmate?"

"No." his mother furrowed her eyebrows "I don't understand why you are so obsessed with our soulmates or soulmates in general." She spared him a narrowed-eyed glance.

"It's just that soulmates are supposed to be perfect for you, right? And—"

"Bullshit."

Kageyama flinched, surprised because his mother never cussed. He couldn't remember the last time she had so he supposed it was before he was born or too far back for him to remember.

"It's not true." She murmured. "What even decides soulmates, what power makes these decisions for us. She wasn't perfect for me." His mother let out a breathy laugh but had no expression on her face. "She was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I don't know what determines who's your soulmate, and I suppose in the end I don't really care. But soulmates aren't the things they teach in school. They are painful, and horrible. I never cared about being perfectly fit for another human being, never wanted to be."

"Why not?" Kageyama was genuinely confused. Being perfect for someone sounded like an amazing thing to him, something he still desperately wanted.

"I didn't owe her anything… I really didn't. Perfect for her or not, I didn't owe her anything. I think that… soulmates change your life…" she paused. "For better or worse, anyway. And I think that outcome depends where and when you meet them."

Kageyama still didn't really understand, but he could see where she was coming from. He didn't owe Iwaizumi and Oikawa a relationship, and they didn't owe him one. Just because they all were soulmates shouldn't mean they had an obligation to make things work. Kageyama already accepted that fact.

If Oikawa and Iwaizumi had pushed the fact they were soulmates to push him to do anything before he was ready, he supposed he might hate the idea of soulmates as well.

Like anything, the concept had ups and downs.

"I was frustrated that night, so was he I guess." His mother continued. "And we did something we never would've in any other circumstances."

"And you got pregnant?"

"Yes. We never would've seen each other again, except for you. And… it gave me an escape. I left her for him. I felt in control, that this was something I was choosing. I could've easily never told your father anything and had you grow up with me and my soulmate. But that was worse."

"You hate her?" the pieces Kageyama hadn't understood were slowly coming together.

He was hearing his mother's side of the story now. All he had to figure out now was his father, who would be much harder to pry information out of.

He still might have to go to his grandparents, even though he now realized that whatever story he got would probably be skewed to make his mother seem horrible and his father a victim who lost his way, or something like that.

"You were the only way I could leave without feeling guilty. And when I found out your father hated his soulmate as well, it was a matter of escape for us Maybe it wasn't best to get married, we hardly knew each other… but I think it was better than whatever else could've happened."

"You're happy?"

"As much as I can be." She paused and reached over to grab his arm. "These marks on your arm are a trap." She whispered to him, icy blue eyes now burning into him as if she knew what he truly wanted. "They're meant to hurt you. There's no guarantee they truly love you, it could very well be just the soulmarks talking. Of all the things I thought I'd have control of, it was my partner. I'll admit, the idea of soulmates sounded okay at eight years old, but as I grew up, I realized that the 'love' soulmates share is only what they train you to believe. Your father gave me some control over that, and to this day I think we may have saved each other."

"So…" Kageyama have no idea what to say.

"You have two soulmates, yes?"

Tobio nodded.

"Well, if you want to know whether they truly love you, never show them the marks. Could they fall in love with you, if they didn't know you were their soulmate?"

Tobio had no idea.

"If not, I suppose you have your answer.

Then, she let go of Kageyama's arm and reaches down, "Mama, what are you—" she yanked up the sleeves of her own shirt to reveal marks.

Hundreds and hundreds of soul markings. The words traveled up her arm, disappearing into her sleeves, written in pen and in marker, highlighter, pencil, any and every writing tool.

"She writes so much. I can barely look at myself."

As Kageyama read, he could see the words on her arms were nice either. A lot were insults, and where there weren't those there were threats, begging, bargaining, persuading, ordering. All of them essentially said the same thing though.

Come back.

His mother pulled back down her sleeves and gave him a tight smile, "Now you know… so you can stop asking, darling."

Kageyama had no idea what to say. He got the feeling he wasn't supposed to be saying much of anything anyway.

Through the entire summer, he didn't run into Iwaizumi or Oikawa anywhere. He would even stay out later than he considered safe to poke his head into shops to search for them.

It was strange he never even saw them once, but maybe they were avoiding him.

It made sense. After all, neither of them owed him anything just as his mother had said, they didn't even know he was their soulmate. Maybe that was the reason they didn't really care. Maybe his mother was right.

In a moment of weakness at graduation, Kageyama had almost told Iwaizumi about them. Or actually, he technically had told Iwaizumi.

The words had left his mouth before his brain could catch up. However Iwaizumi hadn't heard him.

He hadn't been sure whether to be relieved or disappointed at the time. Either way, they still didn't know, and Kageyama had decided that was for the best. Especially after what his mother said. What could possibly be gained by any of them from Kageyama being in the relationship anyway? After Oikawa and Iwaizumi knew, would they only want him because he was their soulmate? Shouldn't they want him before that, if they truly loved him?

Besides, whatever reasons he'd had before to tell them he was their soulmate sounded foolish to him now. It wasn't as if them knowing he was their soulmate would suddenly allow him more freedom, Even if they did find out somehow, he wasn't sure if he'd be ready to date them even if they welcomed him with open arms.

Something like that had always been a fantasy. Something he'd always thought he'd wanted, but now, thinking more deeply on it, he wasn't sure.

On top of what his mother said, he felt a little young, a little inexperienced. Much too awkward, and he didn't even quite feel comfortable in his own skin. It was hard for him to connect, it was hard for him to really know if he was conversing well or if the other person was just picking up his slack.

Kageyama's thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a flurry of orange hair bolting into his vision and a loud, "Hey, earth to Yamayama-kun!"

Kageyama blinked and batted away the hand Hinata was waving in front of his face. "I was thinking!" Kageyama grumbled, not liking Hinata's interrupting.

"Pay attention to me," Hinata whined, "you like zoned out in the middle of my story!"

"Sorry."

After his half-hearted apology, Hinata continued his story that Kageyama still wasn't paying attention to, though he nodded more often.

"Hinata-kun," Kageyama was the one who interrupted this time.

"Yeah?" Hinata asked, cutting himself off.

"Have you um… met your soulmate yet?"

Hinata shook his head. "No," he chirped, "I'm still young though, I don't have to find them right away. Besides, what would I do even if I did find them? I don't want to date anyone right now."

"Even though they're your soulmate? Aren't they perfect for you? Or supposed to be anyway…"

"Well yeah, eventually. We still have a lot of time to change though."

Kageyama fell silent for a moment before hesitantly asking, "Change?"

"Yeah. I mean, I think if we're this young, our soulmate won't necessarily be perfect for us yet. We're still growing up, and as we grow we're gonna change, right? So I think it's okay if you don't love your soulmate right away, or even like them."

"I guess you're right." Kageyama murmured. But his mother had been an adult, and she still didn't love her soulmate. From what he could tell, maybe his mother's soulmate hadn't truly loved her either.

"I know. Wanna get ice cream?" Hinata asked.

"Okay."

Kageyama had started stealing a couple dollars out of his mothers bottom dresser drawer for situations like these. His parents never noticed the difference anyway, so he kept doing it.

As they were walking Tobio asked, "Hinata-kun… do you want to meet your soulmate?"

"Yeah, I mean doesn't everyone? Have you met yours yet?"

Kageyama stayed silent and didn't say anything for a while until he finally admitted, "I have. But they don't like me really, and they don't know I'm their soulmate, and I don't know if I'd want to date them even if they did! I don't think I really matter to them… especially one."

"What are they like?" Hinata asked with a careful look on his face. A look that seemed happy, but also concerned.

"Well, one of them likes to tease me, and he can be really mean. Sometimes he's funny, but mostly is mean and he only helps me if I really need it. He doesn't like me very much and he thinks I'm annoying and weird. The other one is nice. I think he likes me more, and he protects me and stuff."

"So you do have two! That's amazing! You're meant for two people perfectly? That's a pretty major accomplishment."

Tobio wasn't sure. Were they perfect? Actually perfect? Or were they only perfect because of the marks on their arms. Were they perfect because they liked each other or because writing that appeared on their arms made them believe it.

"Are they cute?"

Kageyama flushed red, a little startled by the question. "Yeah," he whispered.

"Aw," Hinata crooned, you're totally crushing! I can't wait to find my soulmates too! I bet they're totally badass whoever they are!" Hinata cried as they reached the ice cream stand, parked on the side of the street.

The stand Hinata and Kageyama had deemed their favorite ice cream place together.

"You can order first." Kageyama offered and Hinata nodded, stepping up to order and hand the cashier his money.

Hinata got chocolate ice cream, and Kageyama had gotten blueberry.

Now, the first time they'd come here together, Tobio had no idea what ice cream would taste like, but soon learned it was worth a few bills.

Tobio glanced over at Hinata licking his ice cream and grumbled"… I'm not crushing." continuing the conversation from earlier.

Hinata glanced at him and smirked, "You are though. And they're totally cute, you think so too! Are they the same age as you?"

"They're two years older, actually. They'll be first years in high school next year."

"Whoa, seriously? So you're the youngest in the relationship."

"I guess so." Although Kageyama was not very happy about it. If they did have a future together, it just gave Oikawa more room to tease him about being a baby. On a darker note, the gap just created more differences between them. And once again Kageyama was the odd one out.

When Hinata and Kageyama finished their ice cream, it was time for them both to get back home. Tobio knew his father would be home soon enough, and that meant he would have to hurry so he could crawl back into his window before he got home.

Kageyama waved, "Bye Hinata-kun, I'll see you next week!"

Hinata waved back at him, smiling and running off in the opposite direction. Tobio sighed in happiness. He always felt happier after he spent the day with Hinata, even if the orange-haired boy could be annoying at times.

Once he got home, Kageyama saw his father's car parked in the driveway, and worry started creeping up his throat, making his heart beat a little faster. His father was back already? But he still had an hour before he usually arrived home, thirty minutes at the least.

Tobio rushed to his bedroom window and started climbing to get back into his room.

He'd barely reached one hand through the open window before he felt something strong grab his arm. Before Kageyama could do so much as yelp in surprise, he was being lifted forcefully back into his bedroom.

Tobio felt himself set down on the hard wood floor of his bedroom and when he cautiously looked up, met the angry eyes of his father. Just behind him, Tobio saw his mother, frowning at the both of them and crossing her arms.

Kageyama felt his heart drop into his stomach. Caught, and in trouble Tobio wanted to run, but all he could do was stare with his mouth impossibly dry.

"Where have you been?"

Kageyama was afraid he would ask that.

A/N Sorry Kageyama, can't relate. I was always good at lying my way out of things XD I did base the feeling off the moment right before you get caught though I usually used that time to come up with a believable lie lol. Also, how many of you can I get to listen to Nico Collins, only the best singer in the world ;) c'mon, you know want toooo. Also, thank you for reading, reviews always appreciated!