Warnings: mentions of drugs, alcohol, and abortion. Strong language

"Answer me, where have you been?" his father growled.

"I've been out." Kageyama murmured, not sure what to say or where to start. Should he apologize? They'd already caught him in the act, it wasn't like he could hide what he'd done.

Now, Tobio's thoughts spun wildly as he tried to figure out what to say. What excuse could he use that was good enough for why he snuck out of the house and didn't tell anyone where he was going? He was pretty sure I knew you'd say no was not the kind of excuse his parents wanted.

"Where?" his father reiterated, eyes hard, and he was crossing his arms.

This encounter wasn't going to end well, Tobio could already see it in the way his father had set his jaw.

"Um… getting ice cream." He finally said. That part wasn't a lie, but he didn't dare add that he'd also been with someone. That would make everything a million times worse, and Kageyama didn't want to get Hinata in trouble.

The room was entirely silent for a moment, all Kageyama could hear was his own breathing before his father lashed out and shoved some of Tobio's books off his desk. They hit the floor with a loud slam that had Tobio flinching and wanting to cry.

Kageyama's heart started beating a little faster, the noise gone but leaving it's echo in his body. He wouldn't put it passed his father to start destroying things when he was angry enough.

Tobio's mother pursed her lips like she was barely containing her irritation but Kageyama wasn't sure who those emotions were directed at. Whether she was irritated at him or his father, she was still irritated and that wasn't good either.

"Why do you keep sneaking out!" His father's voice filled the room like water and Kageyama felt like he was trapped under it. Everything was muffled by the deafening roar of blood in his ears.

"I don't know…" he whispered.

"Fuck!" his father screamed. "You can't do that Tobio! What are we supposed to think when we come up to your room and you aren't there! Have you been kidnapped? Where are you? When should we call the police? Are you hurt? Enough of this shit!"

His father clenched his fists and set Tobio with a look of barely contained fury.

"Papa, I'm sorry." And this time Tobio was sorry. He'd made his parents worried, and they had every right to be angry for how often he'd been lying and sneaking around.

He should feel like the worst human being alive. He should feel guilty, like the world was going to crush him. He should be afraid that something bad would happen to him now because of how he'd made his parents feel. For all it was worth, Kageyama did somewhat believe in karma.

However, for some reason Kageyama was also angry. So furious. He didn't know why but it was like a little flame in his stomach and it was burning up his insides because he wouldn't let it out. Tobio wanted to cry, but he was so angry at his father for making him feel like this. For making him feel helpless, and lonely, and wrong. So angry for not letting him do the things Tobio wanted, for taking away volleyball, for taking away the right to proudly display his soulmarks. Suddenly so angry for all the hurt, and all the late nights in tears and in the dark. So angry at his mother, for not doing a damn thing about it, for watching placidly while he died every day struggling to breathe.

Everything was so heavy, so suffocating, he just needed to breathe. Everything was so hot, he was burning, not able to keep the irrational rage inside him any longer.

"No you're not, you're fucking—"

"Yes I am!" Kageyama screamed and clenched his fists, "But I wouldn't be sneaking out if you let me do shit once and a while and didn't only let me go to school and home!" he was so trapped all the time with no escape. "I wouldn't be sneaking out if you let me have friends!" He was so lonely all the time, and wanting everyone to know and no one to know about that at the same time. "I wouldn't sneak out if you weren't… if you weren't such a fucking bully!" he finished, most of the pent-up fury inside him washing away with his outburst.

Now he was left with nothing. Only the knowledge he'd messed up bigger than ever.

Kageyama had never cussed at his parents.

Kageyama had never yelled at them.

And Kageyama had certainly never called them names.

"I'm a fucking what now?"

"… A bully." Kageyama whispered.

Tobio wasn't exactly sure what he expected, but it was not for his father to stand there staring wide-eyed at him, or his mother to look at him like she didn't even know who was standing in front of her.

Regret pooled in Kageyama's stomach, however, even deeper there was still that unmistakable feeling of rage simmering just under the surface.

"Tobio, darling, why don't you go get ready for dinner." His mother said at last, breaking the awkward silence. "We can talk about this later."

Kageyama took the opportunity and practically bolted to the bathroom.

He hopped in the shower after undressing and thought about how he was going to survive once he left the shower. What should he say? Would his parents bring up what he'd just said when he got down there?

Well that was a dumb question, of course they would bring it up. Why wouldn't they? Tobio bit his bottom lip and crossed his arms, feeling cold despite the scalding hot water.

But what parts of the conversation exactly would they bring up? He was pretty sure he'd directed their attention away from the fact he'd snuck out but he wasn't sure what he'd brought to their attention was any better.

Tobio stayed in the shower for a lot longer than normal and took his time getting dressed as well. He wasn't ready to go downstairs and face his parents.

He almost started crying just thinking about it, but he knew if he started he wouldn't be able to stop, so he just choked everything back, feeling now like there was a rock in his throat. A burning lump.

Tobio told himself to breathe for a couple seconds and then slowly walked downstairs where his parents were sat at the dining room table.

Kageyama's mind raced for something to say to them, but the only thing he could come up with was, "I'm sorry."

After he said that Kageyama bowed and gritted his teeth together, willing himself not to cry. Having time to think in the shower, Kageyama wasn't very angry anymore. And he realized that even though he was frustrated, he shouldn't have lashed out.

That was something his father did. Not him. He didn't get angry unless it was Oikawa, in which case he only got mad when he was pushed to it.

His parents should be angry right now, not him. He was the one who'd pushed. Who'd snuck out and not said anything, who had been stealing which he was pretty sure they hadn't figured out yet.

Maybe he should come clean about that too. They might wonder how he'd gotten the money for ice cream anyway, and if they didn't think of it now he knew they would think of it later.

Instead of responding to his apology, his mother said, "Tobio, we need to talk."

Kageyama hated that phrase. It sent waves of anxiety coursing through him when his parents said that.

But he just nodded and took his seat at the table.

"We want you to know," his mother started while his father stayed silent. Kageyama knew that when his father was silent, he was so angry he couldn't even speak, "that we are not angry."

Bullshit was on the tip of his tongue, but he smartly bit it back and just stared into his mothers eyes, willing his mind to go mostly blank as he listened to her.

"We were scared when you weren't up in your room when I came to check on you. It was irresponsible to leave the house without telling us, you understand that, right?"

It wasn't fair. He wouldn't have to be irresponsible if his parents just let him have friends, if they just let him play volleyball, if they just let him leave. He didn't want much. He didn't want to do drugs or drink alcohol, mostly because that would ruin his body so he couldn't play volleyball as well. He didn't even want to go to huge parties, or stay out after dark. He was fine not having birthday parties, fine not having holidays, fine waiting to date, he was even fine wearing long sleeves all the time and never being with his soulmates.

He just wanted volleyball and Hinata, and he tried to understand his parents, really tried. But he just couldn't.

He didn't understand why they wouldn't let him have the things that made him happy.

"I know, I'm sorry." Kageyama whispered instead of voicing his real thoughts. Wasn't that what he always did anyway?

"Not only that, but you were extremely disrespectful when you returned. It is not alright to swear at us, and you've never done so before. Where have you been learning this type of language in the first place? At school?"

"From papa." Kageyama corrected her, because it was true. He'd learned almost every swear from his father, and he'd learned them all by five.

"That's bullshit! He didn't learn anything from me!"

His mother turned to stare at his father with a raised eyebrow. "Maybe, if you didn't swear at your own parents so much, he wouldn't have learned to do such things."

"It was once and it was months ago!"

His mother took a deep breath and then sighed, "It doesn't matter where he learned it." She shook her head. "The point is that you shouldn't do it, Tobio. Furthermore, that last comment you made. About your father."

She looked at him as if waiting for him to continue, but Kageyama didn't really want to repeat what he'd said. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Why?" Kageyama cringed as his father's face contorted in anger once again, "Because you know it was an ungrateful, selfish thing to say!"

"No!" Kageyama felt his anger flair up dangerously, "It's because I'm not like you! I don't call people names and make them feel bad just because I'm upset!"

"Shut up!"

"No!"

A loud bang echoed through the dining room when his father slammed his fist on the table. Kageyama jumped and his mother pursed her lips, closing her eyes like she was just waiting for the entire house to explode or something.

"What's wrong with you! You were never like this before!"

He wasn't? Kageyama bit the inside of his cheek.

"Maybe I just… won't let you call me names anymore! I'm not selfish! I just want to feel like I'm living!" Every day Kageyama woke up, went to school, came home, did homework, and went to bed. That was his entire life. On weekends he did homework and helped his mom clean. He wanted more than that. "I don't want to be like you guys."

"Oh really? And just what are we like exactly!" his father growled.

Kageyama let out a shuddering breath, "You're miserable. Both of you. Mom, all you do is clean and take care of us. Dad, all you do is go to work and then go to bed. Neither of you are happy… but I want to be. I want you to be. But I can't make you happy anymore. It's like… I'm your guys entire life."

"I have colleagues! And you and that's all I need." His father insisted while his mother stayed silent, her eyes glassy.

"You have to want something more! Mama, I know you don't hate people. You could have so many friends!" His mother was beautiful and polite, and smart, and he was sure if she could just find something she could have friends.

"I'm already happy. I don't need anything else." His mother murmured.

"Papa, what about your soulmate?" Kageyama turned to his father next.

His mother narrowed her eyes like saying, you shouldn't ask that.

"That bitch has no place in my life!" his father clenched his fists.

"Why not!" Tobio cried, wanting to understand more than anything, but having nothing to grasp on to.

His father went silent for a moment before he let out a slow, bitter laugh. "She got along really well with my parents. And her parents weren't terrible. She was everything my parents wanted for me."

Kageyama didn't like where this was going.

"Controlling as fuck, of course. And I couldn't stand it."

Didn't you turn out the same way though?

"She loved me, I think. In a twisted way, we fit perfectly. She was everything I'd always known. Still so young I didn't even know I could want anything else. And that night, with your mother? After we found out she got pregnant. The woman I would've married wanted to abort it. She wanted to get rid of you."

Kageyama didn't like the sound of that either, because if that had happened he wouldn't be here having this conversation.

"She and my parents tried to pay your mother to do it. Tons of money. But your mother wouldn't."

"Then the death threats started." His mother interrupted, staring at him.

"Then the death threats started." His father agreed. "So I let her go, and I will never go back. If you ask me, I don't think soulmates are even real. I think the writings don't mean anything. I think that fated pairs don't exist at all. I think it's all a lie."

Kageyama wasn't so sure. He thought fated pairs exist. He didn't think those people automatically fit no matter what though. That would make the world too simple, wouldn't it?

Tobio had nothing more to say on the subject of his father's soulmate, didn't know what he could say. Was he supposed to try to make it better? How could he defend a woman who had wanted him gone? So instead he brought the conversation back to himself, "Papa… I think you should let me have friends."

"Well to do that, we'll have to meet them and their parents, and make sure their family dynamic is stable, and make sure the child will be a good influence, and of course they can't impede on your studying. Also—"
"No, I mean, friends that I like. I would like to please play volleyball again, and I want to leave the house more. Not on a shopping trip but with my friends."

His father scowled and crossed his arms. "You think you have the right to ask these things after you just snuck out for hours on end and came back insulting us!"

"I won't ever sneak out again, and I won't steal money anymore."

"Steal what."

"… Money."

"You are grounded!" His father shouted. "For life!"

"But papa I—"

"Not another word! I won't hear of it! Go to your room!"

"Fine!" Kageyama cried and ran up the stairs to his room. He thought it better not to slam the door, but he did throw his pillow around and cry.

Tobio had thought he was getting somewhere tonight, but apparently everything was all for nothing. He'd just made everything worse because now his parents were angry with him no matter what his mother had said earlier.

Kageyama finally got into his nightclothes and crawled in bed, tired from all the crying and stress. He was ready for the day to be over now and for tomorrow to come.

Just as Tobio was about to drift off, he heard a knock and then his bedroom door opened and light from the hallway filtered into the room.

"Tobio," it was his father.

What was he here for? Kageyama didn't really want to talk about anything anymore tonight, he was so tired and mentally exhausted.

He didn't have the energy to present his case.

Kageyama moved to stand up but his father shook his head. Tobio took that to mean he didn't have to get up so he settled back down again and stared at his father, wondering what was going on this time.

"Tobio," his father started again, coming over and kneeling beside his bed.

Kageyama just looked at his father, waiting for him to continue.

"I'm sorry." His father said at last.

"What?" Tobio asked his voice hoarse from crying and lack of use.

"I'm sorry, Tobio. I'm sorry I yelled at you, and made you feel angry like that. And I'm sorry I've been so… so controlling." His father bit out the last word like it physically hurt him to say.

"It's okay." Tobio murmured because he wasn't sure what else to say to that. He'd never in a million years thought his father would apologize to him. It wasn't actually okay, but he was pretty sure his father knew that it's okay meant I forgive you. Which Kageyama did.

His father sighed, "We'll talk about everything later, alright? I just needed to say that first. Goodnight, Tobio."

"Night papa."

His father reached out and patted Kageyama's head before leaving his room and shutting the door behind him.

Kageyama stared after him, wondering what he and his father would be talking about. He was fairly sure it was about his request to play volleyball and go out with his friends more.

He really hoped it was about that. Kageyama wasn't sure what had changed his father's mind, whether it was Kageyama himself, his mother, or some other outside force but either way he was grateful for it.

So with those feelings of hope, he settled in his bed again, the covers pulled up to his chin and a smile resting lightly on his face.

Maybe Tobio actually was getting somewhere now.

A/N Ummm, next chapter is here! Hope you guys enjoyed. I'm sorry it took so long as I wasn't completely sure where to go with this and also among us took over my life for like... three days. But none of that matters now, because it's hereee, yay! Thanks so much for reading, as always reviews deeply appreciated!