The ferret was an Animagus.

That would explain a lot, yet something bothered me.

"I don't think so," said Remus, moving to stand beside me. "Animagi are rare. It is more likely another wizard turned his associate into a ferret."

"He didn't move with animal grace, that's for sure," I said. "Surely an Animagus would."

"Known many Animagi, have you? Werewolves don't count," Evan said, "because they are animals."

"Keep your prejudice to yourself, nobody cares about your opinions," I shot back. "I know Professor McGonagall." And Sirius.

"It doesn't matter if the ferret was an Animagus or not," Julia stated firmly, "I want to know why Evan thought he was."

He smirked at me. "Someone cares about my opinion after all."

I rolled my eyes.

Remus said, "Tom is waiting. If the information is pertinent, tell us and we'll be on our way."

Evan's smug demeanour vanished. He said, "I…overheard…a conversation that indicated a certain wizard is eager for followers to become Animagi spies and assassins."

Translation: Evan eavesdropped and is nervous that You-Know-Who will demand he prove his allegiance by going through the painful, arduous process to become an Animagus.

During our engagement, Evan had laughed away my fears about his so-called business associates. "I use them, they don't use me," he used to say with a confident smile. That smile was absent now, and it was hard for me to feel any sympathy. In the same manner as with Priscilla, Evan had made his bed, and now he had to lie in it.

My lips twitched at the image that sprang to mind. Prissy, sitting with the covers pulled up to her chin, screeching as Death Eaters swarmed into the bedroom for a slumber party.

Julia said, "We'll keep that in mind."

"What does that mean?" Evan asked. "You're not going to tell your superiors, are you?"

I said, "Don't worry, the editor of the Quibbler might believe a story about killer ferrets, but no one in the Auror Offices will. We receive dozens of crack-pot conspiracy theories every day." Evan looked relieved until I added, "I'm still going to report it anonymously."

"We need to be going," Remus told us.

Evan said, "I won't be left behind. It's my money too."

"You'll only be in the way," Julia snapped.

Evan looked ready to argue. I said, "He doesn't know where we're meeting Tom. Let's Apparate now and deal with him later."

Julia tossed her wig into a rubbish bin and Disapparated. Remus smiled at me and vanished too. I closed my eyes to visualise an alley off Knockturn. Right before the magic transported me from one place to another, I felt a hand grab my arm.

"Damn it, Evan, you could've splinched!" I yelled, jerking away from his touch.

"How flattering, you care," he said dryly, adding, "Haven't you learned that when it comes to Apparating, like life, it's best to keep your eyes open?"

"Shut up," I said, turning my back on him to walk over to Remus.

Tom held up a compass built of ebony wood and brass. "Just like we thought, dodgy sorts gravitate to this area." He spared Evan a warning glance. "Don't get in our way." He waited for Julia to finish transfiguring her heels into trainers and started walking in the direction indicated by the needle of the enchanted compass.

Remus and I followed them. Evan rushed to catch up, muttering, "Aren't you two a little old to be holding hands like teenagers?"

"No." I tightened my clasp on Remus's hand. "Not when you love someone."

Evan made a "humph" sound but had no comeback. Was he remembering the way I'd stopped reaching for his hand by the end of our relationship? Remus still didn't look happy about my ex tagging along, but his face no longer looked set and tight. I found it surreal, walking with the man I used to know intimately on one side and the man I wanted to know intimately on the other.

Tom led us through a labyrinth of streets barely lightened by the early morning sun. After minutes of silence, Evan said, "What's that compass point to, your heart's desire?"

"In a way," I said, trading a brief smile with Remus.

When Arthur Weasley's twins bought the compass at a curiosity shop, the owner told them it led to the holder's greatest desire. At that time, the boys' greatest desire was to find buried treasure. Instead of gold, however, Fred and George found themselves knitting sweaters for the needy in punishment for digging up a neighbour's roses.

Inspecting the compass, Arthur discovered it was cursed to lead to what was least desired. After breaking the Dark enchantment, he'd kept the decorative item on his desk until I'd asked to borrow it for an experiment with Tracking Charms. It worked brilliantly.

"The stars painted inside the lid are starting to glow. We must be near!" called Tom, making an abrupt right turn.

Remus dropped my hand so we could hold our wands ready, scanning the alley for any signs of a ferret or a wizard who had become one. Tom held the compass out, following the needle's direction. He shook his head. "It's pointing to a dead end."

Julia ran forward. "There's the packet!" She picked it up and looked inside. "It's empty."

"The needle just shifted back the way we came!" said Tom. Our group turned just in time to see the back of a fleeing wizard and the front of a troll who blocked the alley, club in hand.

"Do we Apparate now?" asked Evan.

Tom shook his head. "The troll would take out his frustration on innocent civilians."

"Better them than me."

"Shut up," Julia and I said at the same time.

"No one is making you stay," said Remus.

Evan shrugged. "I always wanted to see Aurors at work."

We spread out, waiting for the creature to make a move. So far, it seemed more interested in using the club as a backscratcher.

Remus asked, "Has anyone dealt with a river troll before?"

"How do you know that's a river troll?" Evan asked.

In his professorial tone, Remus said, "River trolls are green, with large fangs and blue scales along their bodies. Aside from physical characteristics, this type is distinguished by its smell, which even by troll standards is foul."

Tom said, "Mountain trolls smell like roses by comparison."

The troll grunted and raised the club. He'd scratched his itch and now looked ready to pound us.

"If I remember correctly, trolls are resistant to magic," Remus said.

Tom said, "Then we'll all stun him at the same time."

"On the count of three?" asked Julia.

"Is there any other count?" Evan jibed. "Get on with it, someone. I have a board meeting to get to!"

"One," Remus and I said simultaneously. I grinned and took my cue from him to finish, "Two, Three!"

Five bolts of red light struck the troll lumbering toward us. While he stood stupefied, Julia said, "Let's tie him up!"

"Kinky," Evan murmured.

We ignored him to use Incarcerous to bind the river creature with thick ropes.

"I'll alert the Dangerous Creatures Squad when we reach the Ministry," said Tom.

Remus looked concerned. "I'm not comfortable leaving a troll unattended."

"Feel free to stand watch," Evan said. "I suppose you feel a kinship, being a dangerous creature yourself."

I waved my wand. "Silencio!" Remus's face was expressionless, but I knew cracks like that bothered him. Evan was a gobshite. I asked Remus, "What if we make the troll go to sleep?"

"Obdormiscere? Excellent idea."

I cooed breathily, "Oh, thank you, professor."

The corners of his lips turned up in a faint smile as we cast the spell. The sight cheered me, but I still shot daggers at Evan after freeing him to speak.

He took a step back, warning, "Don't ever do that again."

"Fine, next time you talk shit I'll use Scourgify."

Evan's lips tightened. He turned on his heel and strode away, calling over his shoulder, "I expect copies of whatever pictures were taken the moment the film's developed."

My eyes flew to Remus. He was looking at me in a way that was hard to read. I smiled uncertainly. He took my hand and lifted it to his lips. "My champion."

"He was being a snide bastard, and I won't let anyone get away with that kind of talk."

Remus wrapped his arms around me, holding me close for a long moment before saying quietly, "You must learn to. Most of the wizarding world shares Rosier's viewpoint."

"We don't," said Tom.

"And neither does anybody worth knowing," Julia added.

Remus said, "You three are so young and idealistic, I feel old and sadly pragmatic by comparison."

I took his face in my hands and pulled Remus down for a kiss. "There's nothing wrong with being practical, but you're not old, and if I have to snog your lips off to prove it, I will."

Tom cleared his throat. "We'll see you at the office, Tonks."

"I'll let Jerry know you're on your way," Julia said with an impish smile.

Left alone with Remus, I asked, "Does it bother you when I jump to your defence? Do you think I'm pushy or trying to wear the trousers or—"

His mouth stilled my rambling words, pressing lightly, and then more firmly. I threaded my arms around his neck and leaned close as our lips clung and parted. I was deliciously breathless and didn't care if I ever caught my breath. All I wanted was his mouth sealed to mine, his hands caressing my skin. I was so caught up in sensation, I didn't hear footsteps approaching.

"Blimey, that bloke's done in a troll! Let's owl the Quibbler and get our name in the paper!" Footsteps clattered back down the alley.

Remus and I sprang apart. I ran a shaky hand over my hair and said, "Look, the last thing werewolves need is that rag claiming they use Dark powers to take down trolls. You go on to the Patils. I'll keep watch."

His smile was lopsided. "You're more realistic than I gave you credit for."

I morphed back into an elderly witch. "You must've rubbed off on me, sonny."

Remus took my face in his hands and gently rubbed his lips against mine. "If you rub off on me, I will consider myself blessed…Granny."

The Dangerous Creatures Squad found me sitting beside the troll, grinning like a senile old woman. A Quibbler photographer materialised right behind them. He took a single picture before one of the brawny wizards said, "Move along, and no comment!"

On impulse, I shook my finger at the troll. "That'll teach you to scare my kitten up a tree!" I said querulously. "Bad troll, bad!"

"Good show! Granny trounces a troll!" exclaimed the photographer. "What a headline!"

While Ministry officials lunged for the man's camera, I Disapparated.

.

I was running late, so I didn't bother to change my dress. I simply morphed my features and ran up the Ministry steps.

"Uh, is that a disguise?" asked Jerry, when I walked into his cubicle.

I stopped fastening Auror robes over the purple paisley dress. "What do you mean? This is my favourite outfit!"

"Oh, really, well, I just wondered."

I sat in his visitor chair that was a lot more comfortable than mine and stretched my legs out. "No, not really, I was joking." I waited for him to relax and said, "I wore it for Sixties Day. Didn't you get the memo?"

Jerry sat up straight. "Memo?"

I laughed. My partner shook his head. "If you're finished having me on, we need to go over a few things before we meet with Crantz and Stern." He filled me in on the club we planned to infiltrate and then asked, "Any questions?"

"Did you bring your lunch?"

"Yes."

Crap. I'd forgotten.

"And enough to share," he added with a smile.

I said, "Jerry, you're the best."

"Tell that to the next woman I date," he said wryly.

"I will." Taking a deep breath, I said, "Speaking of dates. . . ."

.

That evening, before we Flooed to Hestia's, I told Remus about my matchmaking.

"You're setting Jerry up with Rita?" he repeated.

Remus sounded like he was unsure the idea was a good one. I said defensively, "What's wrong with that? He likes me, why wouldn't he like her?"

He said thoughtfully, "You have a point, and yet . . . ."

"What?"

Remus led me over to our favourite chair and drew me down on his lap. "Have I ever told you the story of Peter's cousin Penny?"

I slipped my arms around his neck and began playing with his hair. "No."

"It's a cautionary tale," he said with a hint of a smile. "After we left Hogwarts, Sirius lived the house he inherited from his Uncle Alphard." Remus's smile grew. "Of course he immediately threw a party."

"Of course!"

"Inviting all his friends and whoever they wanted to bring along."

"Peter brought his cousin Penny?"

Remus's gaze turned sober. "Yes. Penny had a crush on Sirius, like most girls, and had begged Peter to give her a chance to meet him."

"Did she look like her cousin?" I tried to ask tactfully.

"No, she was pretty, and Sirius was quite happy to make her acquaintance, until. . . ."

The suspense was killing me. "What?"

"You have to understand, there was a lot of drinking, and eventually Sirius and Penny went upstairs."

The pauses were like torture. I tugged a strand of Remus's hair. "And…what, slept together, offending Peter, who was secretly and creepily in love with his cousin?"

"No, she couldn't make it past the age line."

I started to laugh. "Sirius had an age line across his bedroom door?"

"It was the practical thing to do. Alcohol impairs judgment, and many girls claimed to be of age when they weren't."

"You created the age line, didn't you?" I said, giving him a smacking kiss on the cheek. "You are the sweetest, cleverest man." I gave him a kiss on the lips before asking, "If Sirius didn't offend Peter by sleeping with his cousin, why is the tale cautionary?"

"Sirius laughed his arse off when Penny was stopped at the door. Understandably mortified, she ran downstairs sobbing. Peter took his cousin home, but not before another girl had gone upstairs to take her place, a girl who spread the story to all her friends, making Penny a laughingstock and straining an already tenuous friendship."

I said, "I hardly think Rita is going to laugh at Jerry and make him cry. Even if they don't hit it off, Jerry won't blame me like Peter did Sirius."

"Peter didn't blame Sirius. He blamed me."

"You're kidding."

"No," Remus said, "If it hadn't been for the age line—"

"His underage cousin would've had to deal with the emotional and physical consequences of her actions. He should've thanked you!"

"Sirius did, the next day, but Peter…"

I slid off his lap and tugged my love to his feet. "He had a down on you, and it wasn't your fault…so remember that if Hestia starts in on me tonight."

He chuckled. "How is it that I ended up learning the lesson from my story?"

"You're such an amazing teacher, you even teach yourself."

Remus shook his head, smiling. "Shameless flattery."

I walked over to the fireplace and grabbed a handful of Floo powder. "If I was flattering you, I'd say you have the finest arse on the planet. No, wait, that's true too." I laughed at his open-mouthed expression and tossed the powder.

I stepped out of Hestia's fireplace, coughing. I'd inhaled a bit of powder. Sturgis Podmore rushed over to pound me on the back.

"Nymphadora? Are you all right?" asked Remus.

I was now that Sturgis had stopped whacking the breath out of me. I nodded. "Yes." I remembered my manners and added, "Thanks to Mr. Podmore."

"Call me Sturgis, Nymphadora," he said with a genial smile.

"Call me Tonks, Sturgis," I said firmly.

A look of amused comprehension crossed the wizard's square-jawed face. "Ah, you have pet names too." He called out, "Hessie, our guests have arrived!" There was no answer. Sturgis said sheepishly, "She doesn't like me to holler. I'll go to the kitchen and inform her."

I looked around the lounge, noting new figurines had been added to the chintz-cottage décor. The sight of the bookcase with Hestia's Barbara Cartland romance collection made me smile. I said, "Would you like to read while we wait? Here's an interesting title, "The Cave of Love—sounds like Sirius and Cami." Remus gave a huff of amusement. I picked up another novel. "Dangerous Dandy. Lucius Malfoy?"

"Or Evan."

I made a face and shelved the other two books before choosing another. "Real Love or Fake. That's Jerry and Rita."

Remus joined me, crouching down to peruse the titles. His lips were twitching madly, setting me off. I had to put a hand over my mouth to keep from laughing out loud. After a moment, he rose and showed me a novel. "Here's one for you. Punishment of a Vixen."

I blinked. My imagination was suddenly too vivid for comfort. I said, "I prefer Love at First Sight."

"That's Hestia's favourite book," said Sturgis, returning to the lounge.

I crammed the novels back into place. "Really?" I looked over his shoulder. "Does she need help in the kitchen?"

"Help? Yes, that would be kind of you." Sturgis beamed.

I walked into the kitchen and did a double take. It was a mess. Hestia held a soufflé dish in her hands. She showed the contents and said, "I planned an indoor barbeque, but Sturgy distracted me during the conjuring, and it all went terribly wrong. I decided to make a cheese soufflé as a replacement, but…it fell."

Something about her numb tone, and the way she called Podmore Sturgy, made me say, "Why don't we go out to eat?"

Hestia set the dish on the table and untied her apron. With a tiny smile she said, "Yes, let's."

.

.

A/N: Since Jo only describes mountain trolls, I borrowed the description of river trolls from the Warhammer rpg. In that fictional universe, trolls are able to vomit up the contents of their stomach at will, which results in bad things, since troll stomach acid is the most corrosive substance in the Warhammer world. Lucky for Tonks and Co. they inhabit the Potterverse. :D The readers who made me feel lucky with their reviews were...… 40/16 alix33 amattsonperdue Carnivalgirl cupcakeswirl Elspeth Bates Embellished EmilyDaniellePotter Fauzia FNP Flightie Freja Lercke-Falkenborg GoodQueenA GraceRichie ishandtwofourths Kates Master katieweasley Klaus's Twin Lady Bracknell ladyofthebookworms Lerie Lizet M Machiavelli Jr MagicalMischiefMakersInc MollyCoddles NazgulGirl Polaris101 RahNee ronandhermy Sivaroobini Lupin-Black Slipknot-3113 and Sophia Loren