No one else had ever made me feel so safe or free to show how much I loved him. In Remus's arms, I never felt clumsy or awkward. With just a look, or a soft touch, he made me feel beautiful and sexy. When he kissed me, I forgot the couple on the other side of the tent wall.

Beneath my back, the air mattress shifted with the weight of Remus's body pressing mine. My thoughts were shifting, too. Away from coherent thought, into sensory impressions. In the cool air of the tent, his skin felt hot, like his mouth and the images flashing behind my closed eyelids. The same shadowy, erotic images I'd seen by the fire.

Sirius was right. I did kiss Remus as if I was naked. Something deep inside melted at the thought of every millimetre of him against my skin. My fingers slid through his hair. When he began to kiss his way down my neck, I wanted to feel silky-coarse strands brush everywhere.

My hands clutched his shoulders as he kissed the hollow of my throat. Don't stop. Don't stop.

Remus's mouth lifted from my skin. The tension in his body made me realise I'd spoken aloud. My eyes snapped open. I caught my breath at the look in his eyes.

"Nymphadora?"

His voice was soft, yet rough with urgency. He was asking what I'd asked myself too many times to count. I loved Remus. If Gran's priest was right—that on a moral level, thinking was the same as doing—we'd been lovers since the night we met. Why not make desire a reality?

I wanted to. I did. So much, I almost cried, but I couldn't force the words past my lips. I swallowed and tried again. The words that poured out shocked me almost as much as Remus.

"Why did you stop?"

He flinched. I blinked to hold back tears.

Remus stared down at me. "Were you hoping I'd seduce you?"

I bit my lip. That's exactly what I'd wanted. Not to talk about it, or think about it, just be swept away by passion.

His arms bent as he let me feel the weight of his body, his desire. "Do you think I'm not tempted? That I don't know how easy seduction would be?" Remus lowered his mouth—not to my lips, parting hopefully, but to my ear. "I feel it," he rasped. "I smell it."

I moaned. The heated, musky smell of his skin drove me crazy. What must mine do to him?

He rolled away. "I won't do it," he said, rising to his feet. Remus raked a hand through his hair. "I love you, and when I said I'd wait, I meant it." He gave a mirthless chuckle. "I only wish you didn't make it so damned hard."

Oh gods, I was mental. The man I loved and wanted more than anything was walking out, and all I could do was cry and beg, "Remus, don't go."

He tried to smile, but it was twisted and pained. "I'll be back. I need more than a cold shower. I'm going to try that stream we passed on the way up."

My vision was so blurry with tears; I didn't even see him leave. I rolled to my side and curled into a ball, engulfed in misery. I choked back tears that made my throat ache. I hated myself for acting like kind of woman Julia and I scorned in romance novels. I could almost hear my friend now.

Are you INSANE? If you don't get up this minute and drag him back to bed, I'm going to put you in St. Mungo's!

I got up and opened the tent flap. The lounge area was dim, lit only by a night orb. I took a step and halted. Another voice had slithered into mind.

What's this? My shy little Nymph is actually going to ask for what she wants? You never did before, and frankly, guessing was half the fun.

"Shut up!" The sound was loud and jolting. I was speaking to voices in my head, never a good sign. I decided to talk to Remus when he got back. Right then, I needed to cool off. I headed for the shower.

I stood beneath the spray and cried. If I'd said yes, the water would be warm, and Remus would be with me, his soapy hands gliding over my skin. My teeth chattered as I got out. I reached for the towelling robe I'd hung up after my earlier shower.

.

In the lounge, Sirius sat in a chair. I asked, "Were you waiting to use the lav?"

He stood. "Only the bedrooms have privacy wards," he said.

Great, just bloody great. I shrugged. "It's fair, I guess. I hear you, you hear me."

"Sorry about that."

"Tell that to Remus," I said. "He's the one you were laughing at."

"I wasn't laughing at him…" Sirius threw up his hands. "I'll sort that out later. Right now, I want to know why you were bawling your heart out in the shower."

"None of your business. Why were you out here listening if you didn't have to use the toilet?"

"It's time for patrol."

I said flatly, "You're joking."

He said, "I patrol twice every night and four times a day."

"No wonder you're skin and bones!"

Sirius's grin flashed white. "Cami likes me lean and hungry."

I stalked forward and grabbed his robes in my fists. "No, she doesn't. Cami's worried sick you're going to starve or run yourself to death! She probably cries in the shower because you won't listen to her concerns!"

"At least she's not crying in sexual frustration!"

"Bastard!" I pushed him away and turned my back.

Sirius's wrapped his arms around me before I took a step. "I know I can be a bastard. I know, and I'm sorry. Blacks like to point out the faults of others. We don't want to hear our own."

I laughed bitterly. "I know…and I'm sorry. I can't talk about Remus."

"Do you want me to talk to him? He is coming back, isn't he?"

"After a refreshing swim in a freezing cold burn."

My tone earned a chuckle. "You go back to bed. I'll wait up."

Sirius let me go. I turned and hugged him. "I'm going to be waiting, too, but thanks."

He smiled and went to sit in a chair by the window flap. I returned to the bedroom and pulled on a camisole and sleep shorts. They weren't long and flannel, but would have to do.

I looked up at the ceiling, wondering if I'd done the right thing by not following Remus. If I'd gone to the stream, would I have made the situation worse, or would we have used a Warming Charm?

Why was it so easy to imagine being with Remus and so hard to say the words to make it happen? I rolled onto my side and waited for him to return.

When I heard Remus enter our room, tears of relief began leaking from the corners of my eyes. I tried my best to keep them silent as he slid into bed beside me. I froze when he kissed my cheek.

"Nymphadora?"

I shifted to bury my face against his chest. "I love you, and I'm so sorry."

"Shhh." Remus caressed my back in long, comforting strokes. "I'm sorry too," he said. I could hear the smile in his voice when he added, "Shall we kiss and make up?"

I smiled and pushed Remus onto his back, crawling up to kiss him. A part of me never wanted to stop kissing, but eventually I pulled away to cuddle against his side. When my eyes began to get heavy, I got the courage to admit, "I was afraid you wouldn't come back."

His arms tightened around me. "I couldn't stay away."

I sighed contentedly and slept.

.

Sometime during the night, I began to dream. I knew I was dreaming, because I felt like an observer and a participant all at once. In my dream, I was sleeping next to Remus when a hand shook my shoulder. I opened my eyes.

A darkly handsome man stood beside the bed dressed like a Greek statue.

"Hi, Kingsley," I said, still half-asleep. "What'cha doin' in Scotland?"

"My name is Morpheus, god of sleep."

I sat up. "You sound like Kingsley, too, all dark chocolate-y."

The man grinned. "I take whatever form the sleeper's mind will accept."

I stared. "OK, you're wearing a sheet and smiling, so you're not Kingsley, but what does that mean, whatever form? I think he's god-like?"

"Give me your hand, Nymphadora."

"Call me Tonks," I said, putting my hand in his.

A strange fog filled the tent. When it dissipated, I was standing with Morpheus at the side of the tent, looking down at a couple kissing on the bed. It was Remus...and me... Morpheus's slow, deep voice filled the room. "You wondered what would have happened if different choices had been made. I am here to show you."

I said, "Well, could you close your eyes or something? It's kind of a private moment."

The couple embracing were blind and deaf to our presence. It was a good thing, since the god of sleep was laughing his arse off. He obligingly closed his eyes while I watched the scene play out with a sense of déjà vu. This time, when Remus said my name, I said yes and drew his head down for a kiss.

Mist filled the room once more.

"Hey!" I said. "I didn't get to see…erm…what's happening now."

Within the depths of the fog, Morpheus said, "You wondered what would have happened if you had followed your lover."

The mist cleared, showing a couple facing each other beside a stream.

"Why did you follow me?" Remus asked.

The Tonks looking at him said, "I…I couldn't let you go."

Remus looked disappointed and sad. "If you don't let me go, then I can't return, and you'll never know that I'm truly yours."

I looked at Morpheus in disbelief. "Look at me, I'm crying, not frolicking in the water. What the hell is this?"

The god drew himself up to his impressive height. "I am not a Ghost of Christmas. This is your dream, and any meaning to be derived must be determined by you alone."

I looked from 'my' distraught face to Morpheus's chiselled features. "Fine. Cue the fog!"

The mist swirled and then dissipated. I was back in the tent, sitting up in bed. Morpheus stood with arms crossed, frowning down at me. "What have you learned?"

"You're over-rated?" He looked at me steadily. I rolled my eyes. "Sure you're not a Ghost of Christmas? You act like one!"

Remus stirred and made a growl-y noise in his throat. I smiled. Suddenly, I remembered what dream-Remus had said by the burn. I whispered, "I did let you go, and you came back."

When I turned to Morpheus, he was gone.

I was still sitting up in bed, shivering over my dream, when a hand touched my arm.

"Nymphadora?" Remus asked sleepily.

I scooted down to rest beside him. I said, "I woke from a dream."

"What kind?"

I kissed him lingeringly. "A good dream."

His eyes were already closing. "Good."

I watched him sleep, hoping that soon he'd truly be mine, in every way.

.

The Warming Charm kept the tent from dropping down to freezing, but the air was still chilly first thing in the morning. I was content to snuggle with Remus, enjoying the warmth of the sleeping bag and his body.

While sleeping, my hand had found its way beneath his t-shirt. I slid my fingers across his chest.

"Nymphadora."

Remus's voice was husky with sleep and sexy. I smiled. "Mmm?"

"Turnabout is fair play, you know."

I bit my lip to suppress a giggle. "Really?"

"Hmm."

I lifted my head to smile into his eyes. "I'm all for fair play."

We curtailed our playtime after a few minutes and went for a run. I followed Remus down a narrow trail, trying to keep pace. The morning sun was only beginning to warm the air, but I was far from cold. Watching Remus kept me warm.

He wore a tracksuit, worn thin from years of use. It clung in a way that made me really wish Morpheus hadn't put fog in between me and the perfect view of Remus's arse.

"Ahh!" I said, crashing into him.

"Oomph!" he grunted as we fell to the ground.

"Bloody Hell! I'm sorry, baby," I said, sitting up and running my hands down Remus's legs. "I wasn't paying attention to the tail…I mean trail. Are you all right?" He was looking at me oddly. I asked quickly, "Did you hit your head, do you have a concussion?"

Remus's smile was wolfish. "I'm fine. I was going to suggest we turn back." He stood and pulled me to my feet. "You lead the way this time, and I'll pay attention to the tail…I mean trail."

I scrunched my eyes shut and groaned. "I hoped you didn't catch that."

He chuckled. "It may take a while, but wolves always catch what they're after."

I opened my eyes. "Promise?"

Remus nodded solemnly, eyes twinkling. "Promise."

"OK." I began to run, calling over my shoulder, "Last one to camp cooks breakfast!"

.

Sirius grumpily poked at his egg. "Were you trying to conjure a three minute, or thirty minute egg, cousin? I think I could bounce mine like a rubber ball."

"How would you like it bounced off your head?" I asked sweetly.

Remus said, "My egg is fine." He took a bite and chewed.

He was still chewing when Sirius said, "You have to say that, my friend. You're the one responsible for this adventure in indigestion."

Cami smiled. "It wasn't his fault Tonks tripped and lost the race."

Remus, in the midst of swallowing, began to cough. I handed him a mug of coffee, smirking. The other couple hadn't seen what had happened, but Remus and I both knew the only reason I stumbled was because he'd pinched my arse. I'd laughed while picking myself up, admiring his Gryffindor boldness. I laughed now. He grinned.

I brought a stasis bag out of a rucksack. "If you don't like my eggs, cousin, you won't like my Pain au Chocolat, either."

"Chocolate wrapped in pastry…made by our Jan?" Sirius asked. I nodded. He hurriedly cracked and stuffed an entire egg into his mouth.

"No!" Cami and I yelled simultaneously.

"Yes, he is disgusting, isn't he?" Remus said casually, taking the pastry bag from my hands. "I lived with that for seven years."

Sirius swallowed the egg and put his hands to his throat. "Water!" he gasped. Cami extended a litre bottle. He chugged it down and pointed the empty bottle at Remus. "Those were seven of the best years of your life, mate!"

"True, but you were still a disgusting prat at times." Remus offered a pastry.

"True," Sirius said, taking a bite.

"Did he really cram six rashers of bacon into his mouth once when James told him to stuff it?" Cami asked Remus.

"More than once," Remus answered with a wide smile.

"I've done that!" I said. "Mum told Dad 'you know where she gets that from', but she never told me it was Sirius!" I shook my head. "I can't remember."

"Tea party, back garden, you made me wear a flowered hat and eat all the stuffed animals' biscuits. I was trying to teach you not to be bossy."

Remus gave a bark of laughter. "When was this?"

"She was four," Sirius said. He told a giggling Cami, "She was managing, I tell you!"

We traded stories until the pastries were gone and Sirius announced that it was time for patrol. Remus and I looked at each other. I raised my eyebrows. He shrugged. I asked, "Do you want some company?"

Sirius exchanged a glance with Cami. She smiled. He nodded and told me, "Yes. In fact, I'd like your help in conducting an experiment."

Snuffles trotted ahead of us, tail wagging. When we neared school grounds, he barked. Remus asked me, "Will it drain you, morphing on top of transfiguring your robes?"

I said, "Morphing is easy. I'll be fine."

"Sirius will rest easier, however this turns out," said Cami.

I looked down at my newly transfigured school robes and said, "I don't know many schoolgirls, but there is one girl I remember vividly." I closed my eyes, forming a mental image of the girl who'd been such a hateful little witch to me the one time I'd gone to her family's home for dinner. I could morph her features, even now, two years later. Being called a half-blood freak tends to stick in one's mind.

Remus started to laugh. "Pansy Parkinson?"

It felt natural for 'my' pug features to assume a sulky expression. "That's my name." I dropped the pose and made a face. "She's the only one I could think of."

"Not my favourite student, but you look just like her."

I batted my lashes. "Thank you, professor."

"Do you think the wards will allow you in?" asked Cami.

"If they do, I'll go straight to Dumbledore and tell him to fix them at once," I said.

Snuffles barked. It sounded impatient.

"And you called me managing." I marched off.

I expected a tingle to run down my spine when I passed through the invisible barrier protecting the school, but there was nothing. I was a bit disappointed. I turned and waved to the three watching and then continued walking toward the castle in the distance.

Once I reached the school, I used a side door to enter. Students walked and chatted, a stark contrast to the way they'd hurry during the school week. I watched them with a nostalgic smile. Had I looked so young?

"Thinking about me?"

I turned to see a boy standing beside me, a confident smirk on his pale, aristocratic face. I said, "No."

Draco Malfoy frowned like his father. "Who were you thinking about, then?" he demanded.

His petulant tone rubbed me the wrong way. I looked around and saw a man striding toward us. The boy followed my gaze. "Snape?"

I thought of Julia and smiled wickedly. "Why not? He's got the sexiest voice. Do you really think girls hang on his every word in class because they have a passion for Potions?"

"Pansy!"

Malfoy looked horrified. I discovered why when a voice said silkily, "Miss Parkinson, how interesting to see you here, when only moments ago I saw you climbing the main staircase with Miss Bulstrode."

Shit! Had he heard me? I turned. Snape's eyes widened. Clamping his hand around my arm, he said in a menacingly soft voice, "Run along, Mr. Malfoy."

Draco fled. I muttered, "Some boyfriend he is."

Snape made an odd sound. I looked up to see his lips twitch. I gaped. His upper lip curled. "Not your boyfriend, though, is he…Miss Tonks?"

I tried to jerk away. He held me firm. I said, "Guess those Legilimency rumours are true."

"Indeed."

I shrugged. "Fine, take me to your leader."

Snape narrowed his eyes. "Are you here on Auror business?"

I looked away to avoid his gaze. "Maybe."

"I think not." Snape's grip on my arm kept me walking at a brisk pace toward the Headmaster's office.

I couldn't help asking, "How do you get your robes to billow like that?"

He said tersely, "Special tailoring."

Dumbledore rose as we entered, blue eyes twinkling behind half-moon glasses. "How nice of you to visit, Nymphadora."

"I discovered her impersonating a student," Snape said.

"Is that all you discovered?" the Headmaster asked with a bland smile.

I gulped and said, "He discovered anyone impersonating a student can bypass the wards. That's a serious danger to students, especially Harry Potter. You need to do something."

"There was no breach," Dumbledore said gently. "I allowed you to enter the grounds in order to reassure you…and those with you…that the spells guarding the grounds and castle are strong, and none who do not belong will find their way inside. Harry and all the other students are safe at Hogwarts."

I said, "So…patrolling the grounds…"

"Is unnecessary," said Snape.

The older wizard shook his head. "Not so, Severus. Constant Vigilance is more than a creed. It is a valuable tool in the fight against Dark forces."

I shot Snape a so there look and smiled at Dumbledore when he came around the desk to take my hands. He leaned down to whisper, "Please convey to Sirius my deep appreciation of his loyalty and dedication."

"I will. Thank you, sir."

"Please, call me Albus, Nymphadora."

I left smiling like an idiot. The Headmaster, the most powerful wizard of our age, had asked me to call him Albus!

"Do not think of addressing me in such an informal manner," Snape said when we'd retraced our steps to the side entrance.

I laughed shortly. "Don't worry. I only said your voicewas sexy, and I was joking."

He lifted a sardonic brow. "I know when someone speaks the truth."

"I spoke the truth."

"I know."

Cryptic and weird—Julia was barmy to fancy Snape. I opened the door and ran out.

"Running on the grounds is not permitted," Snape called.

I yelled over my shoulder, "Deduct the points from Slytherin!"

.

I was out of breath by the time I'd reached the group waiting for me on the hill. I morphed back to normal and threw myself into Remus's arms. He hugged me before sliding his arm around my waist as I shared what happened, minus the Malfoy episode. I wasn't proud of acting like the bratty schoolgirl I'd been impersonating and preferred to forget the whole thing.

Before we walked back, I knelt and told Snuffles the message Albus had asked me to convey. He woofed and licked my chin. For once, I didn't grimace or wipe my skin.

Remus and I held hands as we followed Cami and Snuffles to the cave. "Look how proudly he's holding his head," I whispered.

"You should hold your head proudly too," Remus said.

"I am proud…to hold your hand."

Remus smiled and drew me into his arms.

.

.

A/N: I've posted the Remus pov one-shot Waiting for Spring (code: go read!) Special thanks to cupcakeswirl for pinch-beta'ing when WriterMerrin was off on holiday. This was a very rewarding chapter to write; even if it wasn't in the way readers might've hoped. :D I hope each reader thinks so too! Reviews are a priceless reward, and the readers who gave them last week were… 40/16 alix33 amattsonperdue anon;) Arilla Rossi Bardlover cupcakeswirl die Loreley Elspeth Bates Embellished Emily Danielle Potter Fauzia FNP Freja Lercke-Falkenborg GraceRichie Hannah ishandtwofourths katieweasley Kileaiya ladyofthebookworms Lady Bracknell Lerie lilmispris Lizet M Machiavelli Jr MamaLisa mon-ami-runa Moonlight Nessime Polaris101 RahNee Russet022 Sivaroobini Lupin-Black Slipknot-3113 Sophia Loren sunny9847 and WriterMerrin