A few months after Kageyama turned fourteen was the first time he saw Iwaizumi in six months. He'd gotten his phone back around one month ago when he managed to raise his overall grade back up to a 70%. However, he still hadn't sent Iwaizumi any texts or replied to his questions. Partly because he forgot and partly because he was afraid of texting him even if he had no idea why he felt that way.
So when he walked out of the school gates on Wednesday to see Iwaizumi standing there, he startled, not expecting that at all. "Iwaizumi-san?" Kageyama asked before he thought of just sneaking off.
Iwaizumi glanced up from his phone and narrowed his eyes which Kageyama knew was definitely not a good sign. He briefly thought of running but then thought that probably wouldn't bode well for the next time he left school. Kageyama didn't want to spend the rest of his months in middle school running away from Iwaizumi for a reason he wasn't even sure of.
"Kageyama, where have you been? You haven't been answering my texts for months now! I was starting to think you were dead."
"Sorry," Kageyama managed to murmur out, unsure what to say to that.
"How've you been lately? Are you okay?" Iwaizumi's eyes were both upset and concerned, and honestly he had every right to feel that way after Tobio seemingly dropped off the face of the earth.
Kageyama bit his lip and nodded slowly, "I'm okay, I've just been busy practicing volleyball and keeping up with school. It's been kind of hard lately." The material was becoming difficult for him to understand now that he didn't put half as much effort as he used to into studying.
"Well, you can always text if you have a question, I can help you with those things." Kageyama opened his mouth but before he could say anything Iwaizumi added, "It's not trouble," as if he knew what Tobio was thinking.
"Oh, uh… thanks Iwaizumi-san." Kageyama paused for a moment before deciding to return the question. "What about you? How've you been?"
"Pretty good, when I wasn't worrying about you." Iwaizumi playfully slapped his arm, and normally the gesture would be lighthearted but Kageyama could tell Iwaizumi was still upset.
Kageyama smiled nervously. "Sorry, I know I should've let you know I was okay, but… but I just kept forgetting." Kageyama had gotten into the bad habit of telling himself he'd do something later only to keep telling himself that every time he remembered what he had to do.
"It's okay, but if you could maybe not worry us next time, that'd be great."
"Us?" Kageyama asked skeptically with a raised eyebrow.
"Oikawa was being lazy and making me do all the work, but considering he kept spamming me with texts wanting updates on what you were saying, I think it's safe to say he was worried."
Oikawa definitely acted like a tsundere when it came to Kageyama, albeit, the behavior not very typical sometimes. Kageyama was still unsure about the 'dere' part of the word, but the behavior behind the word applied.
"Well, you should tell Oikawa-san that I'm alright."
"I mean… I'll do that, but… are you really sure you're okay? When I asked Hinata-kun about it, he said he didn't know anything anymore, whatever that means."
"Oh… Hinata-san and I aren't really friend right now. He doesn't know anything."
Iwaizumi frowned at Kageyama's words, "Really? Did something happen between you two?"
"I fucked up." Kageyama said bluntly, and unceremoniously because it was indeed the truth.
"Oh, okay." Iwaizumi fell silent, probably wonder if he should ask what Kageyama fucked up exactly, but apparently he decided it would be better to change the subject away from Hinata.
"So, do you want to come over and study at Oikawa's house today? I can just tell him if you want to. Oikawa-san's been asking why you haven't come over in a while too."
"Oikawa-san's… mom?"
"Yeah, her. She really liked you."
Kageyama had no idea why, but he figured it was better than her not liking him. "I'll ask papa." Kageyama took his phone out of his pocket and texted his father who he knew checked his phone fairly frequently even while at work.
His father texted back a few minutes later.
Papa: B home by 7
Kageyama: Okay.
Kageyama was glad not only to have his phone because he could contact anyone at the touch of a few buttons, but also because if he asked his father a question the worst he could get was a blunt 'no'.
"Papa said I could go, but I have to be home by seven."
"That's fine, I told Oikawa you were coming too, and we can get lots studying done by then."
Kageyama nodded in agreement, a little nervous about seeing Oikawa since the last time they'd parted ways the discussion had been a little heavy.
"So, besides your grades and… and Hinata-kun, has everything else been okay?"
Kageyama nodded because he really didn't want to have to tell Iwaizumi what was going on with volleyball, and the team, or the nickname he'd somehow gotten.
It was only a matter of time until Iwaizumi and Oikawa heard of it, but maybe they wouldn't understand the negative connotations behind it.
He knew Oikawa was too smart for that, but Kageyama could still hope.
"That's good. What about the tournament coming up? You excited about that?"
Of course he was excited, volleyball had been what he'd been pouring all his energy into for the past year, and even before that it had been really important to him. "I'm excited." He was excited to play, to win, to stand on the court longer than anyone else. He could do that with or without the team calling him 'king of the court'.
"I haven't talked to Kindaichi or Kunimi very much at all, how are they doing?"
"They're fine." At least he was pretty sure they were okay for the most part. They weren't exactly friends so he had no idea what was going on in their lives outside how they interacted with him on the court, which seemed to be as little as possible.
Kageyama glanced up at Iwaizumi wondering if this was what was called 'small talk'. He had to say it was very stiff and uncomfortable in his opinion, which he had never felt before when being with Iwaizumi, even if they hadn't seen each other for a few months.
What had changed?
Kageyama furrowed his eyebrows. Iwaizumi's questions weren't particularly out of the ordinary for him, and asking about his wellbeing or the wellbeing of others was a common occurrence in discussions with Iwaizumi.
Why did it feel so awkward then?
Maybe it was that his life had come to a stand still and he had even fewer interesting things to say than he normally did. Plus, encounters with Iwaizumi were usually brief or if they were long, it was because Kageyama and him were doing something.
Other than that, most of the times they spoke Oikawa was there also. Maybe Oikawa not being there was partly why it was awkward as well, he wasn't sure. But encounters with Oikawa without Iwaizumi were generally unpleasant.
Either way the two said nothing more as they walked to Oikawa's house, most of the time spent with Kageyama sending glances at Iwaizumi who was glaring at his phone the entire way.
Kageyama assumed it was because he was talking to Oikawa.
Just a hunch he had.
They walked in silence all the way to Oikawa's house, and when they got there, Iwaizumi didn't even knock, just went in. That action made Kageyama a little uncomfortable, going in without being invited, but he supposed that was what happened when you had a best friend and soulmate you'd known all your life.
"Hello~." Kageyama heard what must've been Oikawa's mom call from the kitchen.
She came from around the corner and smiled when she saw them. "Tobio, Haijime, what a nice surprise."
"Is it really a surprise?" Iwaizumi asked with a small smile.
"Well, Tobio's a surprise." Oikawa's mother said with a smile. "How are you doing?"
It took a moment for Kageyama to realize the question was directed at him, and when he realized he stammered out a quick, "good." He'd almost forgotten how much of a… presence Oikawa'a mother had, like a blow torch on a dark, cold night.
"Well that's good, dear." She turned her attention to Iwaizumi after that, "Tooru is upstairs, in his room. Be careful, I think he's listening to music."
Iwaizumi nodded much too gravely in acknowledgement and solemnly beckoned Tobio to follow him upstairs.
Oikawa's room was the first door on the left of the hallway, and Kageyama could indeed hear feint music coming from inside. "Cover your ears." Tobio didn't even have the chance to ask why before Iwaizumi opened the door and his question was answered. Loud, screeching music invaded the entire room, coming from Oikawa's phone on the bed.
"What the hell is this, Shittykawa!" Iwaizumi scrambled over to Oikawa's bed and hit pause while all Tobio could do was cover his ears.
Oikawa rolled his eyes, "It's called music, Iwa-chan. And it's helping me focus."
"Focus on what?" Iwaizumi asked, narrowing his eyes again.
"Studying of course, what else? And don't scowl too hard, you'll get wrinkles."
Iwaizumi ignored him and raised an eyebrow, "You started studying without me forcing you to? You sick or something?"
"I'm not sick." Oikawa sounded annoyed, "I did have a revelation though." Iwaizumi gave him a look that said to continue. "Did you know that there are websites which give you the answer to your question? Look, all you have to do is input your question and it gives you answers!" Oikawa said, snatching his phone from Iwaizumi to show him.
"It's called the internet." Tobio felt the need to add dryly while Iwaizumi snickered.
Oikawa huffed, "I know that Tobio-chan, but who could've known that you could get the answers to all your homework questions with a tap! I could get this done in thirty minutes!"
"So, you're not studying, you're cheating."
"Iwa-chan! I'm not cheating, I'm just double checking my thoughts!"
"Oikawa-san, aren't you smart enough not to need to look those things up?" Kageyama asked.
"If you keep being mean I won't give you the websites I'm using. You'll have to find them all on your own, Tobio-chan."
Kageyama had to admit that looking up answers was something he'd never thought of, and the principle of it made him feel guilty. Oikawa was smart, the websites probably just helped him get done faster. Kageyama was not naturally intelligent like that, he had to study hard and in the end looking up answers on the homework would make him fail worse on the tests but at this point in time he wasn't sure he cared about that.
"You shouldn't be getting Kageyama involved in your shit."
"Tobio-chan can make up his mind by himself. He doesn't need you to tell him what's good for him." Oikawa said, smirking in Iwaizumi's direction while the other glared.
"Um…" Kageyama risked a glance at Iwaizumi who, for his part, gave a neutral look in his direction though it was still obvious what he thought about this. "What are the website names?"
Oikawa grinned.
"You two are unbelievable."
"Lighten up a bit, Iwa-chan."
"So are we going to actually study or are you going to look up all the answers to our homework and quit after that."
Oikawa tilted his head as if in thought, "I suppose I can study with you Iwa-chan if it would make you feel better."
"It would," Iwaizumi growled, plopping between Tobio and Oikawa, leaning against Oikawa's shoulder.
If Kageyama was being honest, he was jealous of how openly affectionate they could be with each other and jealous he couldn't be apart of it.
That was his own fault of course but this late he had no way of casually bringing up that they were soulmates.
No doubt they would be furious.
For keeping a secret.
And for lying about being soulmateless.
There were certain things Kageyama couldn't take back or fix and there were things they couldn't either.
He really just hoped they could move past that at some point.
"Hey so, Iwa-chan says you're struggling in school, Tobio-chan? It's odd because I always remember you getting good grades." Oikawa said, glancing up at him.
"I haven't been focusing on studying as much as other things."
"These other things wouldn't happen to be volleyball would they?" Iwaizumi asked.
"They are." Kageyama admitted. Volleyball had been more important to him than school for a long time. He'd joined at first to be closer to his soulmates, but in the mean time volleyball had become something more. It was an escape, it was safe, it was controllable, it was exhilarating, it was something he was good at, and so much more. Volleyball was one of the most important things in the world to him and the only thing he was sure wouldn't leave unless he let it go.
It was constant.
Reliable.
It was what he needed right now.
And it made him feel good.
"I know volleyball is important to you, but maybe you should focus a little more on your studies. Getting into a good school is important too."
"And," Oikawa piped up, "you need to be even better because you're going to go to the best school."
Kageyama rolled his eyes. "I wasn't aware I was going to Shiratorizawa."
Oikawa sneered at him.
"Iwa-chan, did you just hear him? Tobio-chan is just trying to be cruel now!"
"It's called a joke, Shittykawa."
The other boy pouted, "It wasn't very funny."
"Anyway, moving on to what we're actually supposed to be doing here."
Oikawa groaned.
"What subject have you been having trouble the most with, Kageyama?"
"Um, well… I've been struggling with Japanese." Kageyama wasn't sure why he was having so much trouble speaking it, or writing it, or doing the assignments considering it was his first language, but regardless that was the class he had the worst grade in and was barely passing.
"What are you working on?"
"Um… we're writing a story." About soulmates. "I don't like the topic, it's not very interesting to me."
Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow.
"It's about soulmates." Kageyama said bluntly. He was confused for a moment when Oikawa flashed him a sympathetic look and then remembered his lie about not having any soulmates.
"I'm sure if you talked with your teacher she could give you a different topic." Oikawa suggested.
Kageyama wished he could but, "It's three days late. I don't think she'll let me change my topic this late." Although it would've been a great idea earlier and Kageyama wished he had thought about it prior to this because it would've made writing the story a whole lot easier. "She also gave us this book to read to help understand 'soulmate relationships and complexities' better." Like he hadn't grown up hearing about that word every day of his entire life.
"Well, if it happens again you should just explain the situation and ask for a different topic. I'm sure they'd be understanding."
"Maybe…" But Kageyama wasn't so sure. Lying to Oikawa was one thing, but lying to his teacher about his soulmate situation seemed drastic. What if they expressed their condolences to his parents or something? That definitely wouldn't be good because his parents didn't like lying and they might think he was doing it to get attention.
Which might cause them to try and give him more attention which he most certainly didn't want.
"Is there a reason why you can't write about soulmates? I mean… I know you don't really believe in it." Iwaizumi said, sounding pained to have to say that out loud. "But, if it's for an assignment to please your teacher then isn't it worth it to hand at least something in."
"Your teacher said it had to be about soulmates but did they say the soulmates had to fall madly in love with each other?" Oikawa asked.
"No." but it was implied. That was what all soulmate stories were about and if he tried to bring light to other situations the ideas would probably be shut down, he would get a low grade, or both. Being apart of what the majority thought was generally better for everyone involved. Kageyama had to pick and choose his battles when it came to his thoughts on soulmates.
"You should make up one where they hate each other then. It would probably be a nice change to the sappy romance stories your teacher's going to have to read."
"They're not that sappy." Iwaizumi grumbled.
"Because you write them, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa teased, and they both watched Iwaizumi's face go red.
"Only for assignments!" Iwaizumi protested.
"I wish they would give us something different." Kageyama confessed. "We already have to deal with soulmate issues in our own lives. And there's no variety to the stories so you can't even personally relate. Or at least… not everyone."
He realized saying no one related was pretty far from the truth. A lot of people probably could relate in actuality.
That didn't change the fact that there was hardly any variety though.
"I guess that's true." Iwaizumi said, because no matter how much you loved the stories it would be inaccurate to say there was variety.
"Is it just me or are a lot of them about toxic, abusive relationships." Oikawa piped up, grabbing Tobio's book he'd been talking about earlier and reading the back of it.
"It's definitely about those a lot." Tobio grumbled. He swore if he read another soulmate book where the love interest literally kidnapped their soulmate he would burn it.
Besides the somewhat unpleasant meanings of the topic though, it was nice to sit in Oikawa's room and talk about soulmates casually. It was nice to talk casually in general if he was being honest.
Besides this he couldn't even remember the last time he'd sat down and talked to anyone casually.
He was pretty sure the last time had been when he'd last seen Hinata, reminding him that that boy was really the only friend he'd ever had.
"Wait," Oikawa piped up after reading the back, "so, in the book this girl has two soulmates but it's like… a love triangle?"
At this point Kageyama might've guessed his literature sensei was out to get him with how similar her book assignments were to his life.
He may not be trapped in a love triangle, but it was undeniable that he had two soulmates.
What he didn't understand was how the protagonist could possibly choose. If Oikawa and Iwaizumi begged for his attention how could he not be with them both? One without the other just didn't make sense to him. Maybe his life wasn't much like a protagonist's after all.
"Should they really be letting middle schoolers read books about that? What if someone who has two other soulmates actually thinks they have to choose between them?"
"It's actually rather realistic actually, Iwa-chan. I mean, not this love-triangle shit specifically, but there are plenty of soulmate relationships with three or more in a bond where not all of them end up together." Oikawa said, briefly thumbing through the book.
"Shouldn't they feel like something is missing?" Iwaizumi asked, scowling.
"I think people believe whatever they want when it comes to soulmates, and they feel whatever they want too. If two soulmates are happy together, it's pretty likely they wouldn't even consider the possibility of a third."
God, the words spilling out of Oikawa's mouth hit too close too home. Kageyama felt an uncomfortable feeling start to grown in the pit of his stomach.
"What if," Kageyama didn't know why he was speaking but suddenly he couldn't stop, "what if you had a third? What would you do?"
"Depends," Oikawa shrugged, "there's a lot of factors to consider. A third could change the whole dynamic of a relationship."
"Oh." Kageyama murmured, another question lingering in the back of his mind. What if I was your third soulmate? He didn't voice that one aloud, however, and simply dropped the topic, going on to try and work up the nerve to write about some sort of soulmate relationship.
He ended up writing something almost uncomfortably close to his own situation, however he made it have a happy ending as well even if he didn't know what the outcome of his own life would be since he knew that was what his sensei would be looking for.
She liked the ending, to say the least.
Go figure.