After the game was over and everyone was allowed to leave, Kageyama rushed to find a place where he could be alone. He decided to go into one of the bathrooms and lock himself in one of the stalls. His entire body shook no matter how hard Kageyama tried to get it under control.

Tobio felt like he might throw up.

Shakily, Kageyama pulled up the sleeves of the shirt he wore under his jersey to see a few messages scrawled across them and felt the irresistible urge to scrub it all off. He didn't know why he felt this way but all at once he didn't want to see the words on his skin.

Kageyama jumped when he heard the bathroom door bang open and let out small squeak before biting his lip and pulling his sleeves down again.

If he looked under the door he could see someone's shoes, but they were just standing there, unmoving. They didn't go into one of the stalls or move toward a sink, they just planted themselves there. "Tobio-chan! I know you're in here. I have something to say to you."

Kageyama cringed and had to resist punching the bathroom stall door because of fucking course Oikawa had something to say to him, right now when Kageyama wasn't even sure he could stand properly.

"I can see your shoes."

At that proclamation Kageyama held back a sigh because there was really no way to get around this.

Tobio slowly unlocked the door and walked out choosing to lean on the stall when his legs started shaking slightly. Oikawa was angry, Kageyama could tell, and it wasn't as if Oikawa had never been angry with him but this time felt different.

"How could you be so selfish!" Oikawa cried and Kageyama did not let himself cringe a second time. "I was all the way up in the back row of the stands and I could still hear you yelling at them whenever they couldn't hit your tosses, which I might add, were horribly thought out. Why the hell would you keep sending your spikers a set they could barely hit."

"They could've hit it perfectly!" Kageyama growled. "They're just lazy!"

"That's ridiculous! We were all watching you set! There's almost no one who could've hit that ball with full force."

Kageyama didn't allow himself to cower back or cry because he deserved every word.

This wasn't even like it used to be when Kageyama did something the older didn't like either. Oikawa's voice wasn't sneering or used solely to upset him. The older boy was just genuinely angry about how Kageyama had acted, and of course Tobio couldn't really blame him when he was upset with himself.

"But they… but," Kageyama couldn't come up with any comeback. Maybe because Oikawa was right. Tobio had no excuse for anything he'd done, no justification. "They left me." Kageyama wasn't sure why he said that, because of course they had.

Oikawa seemed to have the same thoughts. "That's because you were a horrible teammate to them! I guess now at least I know why you're being called King of the Court."

"It's not as if you're a genius for figuring it out." Kageyama growled, clenching his fists because he would never submit like this even if he knew Oikawa was right.

Oikawa said nothing to Kageyama's taunt, "Honestly, Tobio! What would your parents say about this, what would your soulmate say, your friends!"

They would say exactly what Oikawa was saying. "Well it doesn't matter because…" Kageyama swallowed, "because I don't have a soulmate."

"Yeah, well it's probably a good thing you don't because they'd be pretty fucking disappointed right now."

The bathroom became silent after that exclamation and all Tobio could hear was the rushing of blood in his ears. It took a few moments of blinking back the tears for Kageyama to be able to look up and see Oikawa's guilty expression staring back at him.

"Tobio-chan… what, what I meant to say was—"

"Fuck you!" Kageyama screamed and if someone had asked, Tobio would've told them the rest happened in a blur. Kageyama slammed into Oikawa, the both of them falling hard on the ground. "I hate you! I hate you so fucking much! You're so stupid, and mean, and oblivious!"

Completely oblivious to almost all the things that really mattered. Kageyama finally felt warm tears break loose and fall down his face. "You're so stupid." Kageyama whispered, his voice broken half way through with another cry.

And Oikawa wasn't the only one. How could Kageyama have waited so long how could it come out like this?

When Kageyama had thought of how his confession would come out, never in his wildest dreams had it been like this. He hadn't thought about confessing often, but when he did he hadn't been in a sweaty volleyball uniform. He hadn't just gotten abandoned by his team. They weren't lying on the dirty bathroom floor. Usually, he'd pictured it in a park, or sitting in a living room where Kageyama blushed and slowly pulled up his sleeves and wrote on his arm watching it appear on their skin.

The confession was not supposed to happen in a fit of blind rage.

But here he was.

"I'm your soulmate." Kageyama whispered, so quietly he wasn't sure Oikawa heard. "I'm your damn soulmate." The rage slowly faded, nervousness, and shaking taking it's place as Tobio slowly pulled up his sleeves, Oikawa and Iwaizumi's words from that morning proudly on display.

Kageyama wasn't sure what he was expecting. Maybe for Oikawa to yell at him for lying, tell him he'd never want to be his soulmate, tell him no one would ever want him because all of that would be true.

Tobio truly didn't know what would happen but he'd imagined the worst reactions far more times than the best.

One reaction he'd never anticipated, however, was for Oikawa to simply stare at him. "You're… you're my…" Oikawa took one of Tobio's arms just as shakily as Kageyama had done not too long ago, his brows furrowed in confusion.

Oikawa kept reading the words over and over as if he couldn't understand them, or maybe as if he didn't believe them. "But you said…"

"I lied."

He always lied.

Kageyama was still crying, though far more softly than before, when Oikawa slowly let go of his arm and shoved him off.

The older boy turned on his heel and hurried out of the bathroom, a hand to his mouth either in shock or disgust.

Kageyama was confused for a moment about what that meant, but then more tears welled up in his eyes at what had obviously been a rejection. What kind of person ran away if they were going to accept him? Wouldn't they rather talk? Figure everything out?

So Kageyama took it as rejection.

And just as luck would have it, Oikawa bumped right into Iwaizumi as he tried to slip out of the bathroom. "Tooru, what—" Oikawa shoved past Iwaizumi in his rush to get out, "Hey! Where are you going!"

There was no reply.

Iwaizumi turned to Kageyama then while he desperately tried to wipe away the tears and snot. Iwaizumi's concerned expression became even more concerned.

"Hey, what's going on, Kageyama? Are you alright." The older boy asked coming over and sitting down beside him.

Tobio didn't say anything. Nothing was alright, everything was falling apart and he had no idea how to fix it. "Iwaizumi-san," Kageyama said quietly.

Iwaizumi turned to him, a confused and worried expression on his face, "Is everything okay. Did you and Tooru fight?"

Technically yes.

Iwaizumi reached out a hand and wiped a few tears off Kageyama's face, and in that moment Tobio wanted to kiss him. He really, really did. Everything about Iwaizumi made him feel warm, and safe and Kageyama just wanted him to understand and want what he wanted.

"I like you."

It was more than that.

Iwaizumi smiled, "I like you too." And Kageyama could instantly tell Iwaizumi didn't understand what he was saying, not that he would've known either had Iwaizumi said something like that to him.

"I mean, I really like you. Romantically." He elaborated rather bluntly.

"Oh…"

Iwaizumi bit his lip and turned to Kageyama. Tobio didn't like the look on his face and almost wanted to run before he heard Iwaizumi's answer because that expression was not the one he had wanted. "Look, Kageyama," Iwaizumi started, "don't get me wrong. I really like you. You've grown on me a lot since we first met three years ago. But, I like Tooru romantically, he's my soulmate. Kageyama, you're amazing, funny, and you're good looking. I like you, but I don't think I can see you that way."

So in other words, whether they knew he was their soulmate or not, it didn't matter. He would still be rejected.

His mother had been right. Soulmates meant everything to some people, they didn't leave room for anyone else. And if they didn't know you were there soulmate you were suddenly not even pursuable. Even Oikawa who knew still didn't care and had just run off.

"I know something that might change your mind." Kageyama muttered, and he couldn't help but sound bitter. If Iwaizumi knew he was his soulmate, would he instantly become more attractive? Because of a few words? Or did he simply not want it because he thought he found his only soulmate?

It didn't matter either way. If he only liked Kageyama for the title of soulmate than that just proved his mother more right than before.

Iwaizumi didn't say anything, and Kageyama didn't give him the chance to. He left the bathroom as quickly as possible and found somewhere else to hide.

What was he going to do now? They lost the game so it wasn't as if he technically had to go back to the gym and if he really thought about it, he never really practiced with anyone else so it didn't matter whether he was in the gym or not anyway.

Kageyama clenched his fists, trying to ignore the pounding inside his head and what just happened and leaned his head back against the wall a few stray tears still leaking out of his eyes.

He decided he would go home as soon as he had enough strength to stand again. He turned his face, pressing his forehead and cheek to the cold wall which helped some of the flush on his cheeks go away and cooled him off.

When Kageyama was sure he wasn't going to collapse on his way home, he slowly stood up, leaning as much weight on the wall as he could and shuffled out of the building. Kageyama wasn't sure why he felt so weak but he blamed it on the game and the recent stress he was put under.

As he was walking down the stairs to the sidewalk he felt someone bump into him. With the sharp collision an instant pain burst through his shoulder and made Kageyama stumble back, barely catching himself on the railing of the stairs before he fell. Once he steadied himself Kageyama risked a glance up to see who'd bumped into him.

Bright, red hair flooded his vision.

"Hi…" Hinata murmrued with a small smile and nervous wave. "Sorry I uh… was rushing somewhere."

Kageyama narrowed his eyes, "What do you want?"

Hinata seemed annoyed with his curt answer but let out a sigh, "Well, it's just that… I just… I saw what happened." Hinata explained clumsily and as soon as those words left Hinata's mouth Kageyama just wanted to bury himself inside a hole, never come out, and if he never got to play volleyball again because of that then so be it.

"Okay," Was what Kageyama decided to say, his voice filled with hesitancy. He didn't know why it was such a surprise, of course he'd seen what happened. Everyone in that entire gym saw what happened. The acknowledgement made it that more real, however.

"So, I guess the reason I'm here is… I mean, are you okay?"

No.

How could Kageyama possibly be okay? Abandoned by his team in the middle of a game, rejected by his soulmates, with no friends, and in need of a lie for why he was crying that he could feed his parents when he returned home.

Kageyama would never let them know they had been right all along. He supposed he didn't want to do that for any particular reason but he could already hear the 'I told you so' in his head and the long lecture that might follow.

"I'll be okay."

Eventually.

"What happened, why'd you get pulled out?"

"It's none of your business Hinata-san." Kageyama bit out, confused about why Hinata cared so much, and defensive.

Hinata wrinkled his nose. "Look, I know your pissed cus I called you Tobio-kun but did you really have to pick a name so completely unnatural for you?"

"I don't care. Just leave me alone."

"But you're upset."

"I'm not! I swear, okay." Kageyama growled, stumbling down the rest of the steps, and frustrated because he was not making a very convincing argument.

"Wait" Hinata grabbed his wrist, "You're obviously upset just like you were whenever you lashed out at me. Don't you think you should feel your emotions instead pretending you're happy! Before you can't pretend anymore and lash out at someone innocent again!"

But Kageyama didn't want to feel his emotions, he just wanted to forget them.

"Please talk to me."

"I told them." Kageyama blurted out and squeezed his eyes shut, instantly regretting his decision to say that. Hinata furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "I told Oikawa-san and Iwaizumi-san I was their soulmate."

"Oh, and what did they…" Hinata trailed off when Tobio's face crumpled.

"They don't want me. They don't," Kageyama's voice cracked, unable to finish the sentence. It was too much. All this time he'd been worried about what would happen next if they did want him and he hadn't thought of what he would feel if they didn't. It was worse than getting abandoned by his team. He could find a new team. He only had two soulmates. Kageyama didn't get do-overs with two new people. He was stuck with the two of them not wanting him.

Kageyama started to shake again, more tears forcing themselves out of his eyes, throat constricting so much he could barely breathe. Kageyama felt Hinata's arms wrap around him and pull him against the other's body.

The position was a little awkward because of how much shorter Hinata was compared to him but he didn't really care. He just wanted to feel that same warmth he felt that day when Iwaizumi had comforted him. Maybe if he closed his eyes, he could—"When did you get so tall?" And just like that the illusion he'd tried to create was broken.

"I've always been taller than you." Which was a lie. At one point Hinata and Kageyama had pretty much been the same height. But while Kageyama had gained a good eight inches Hinata had gained about three. Kageyama laid his head on Hinata's shoulder, not sure if he was supposed to tell him the story or not.

He decided to tell him. "I was in the bathroom, and I was trying to forget about what had just happened with the team. And then Oikawa-san came in and told me to come out and then he yelled at me a lot for what I did to my teammates. So I kind of tackled him."

"Damn."

"Yeah, and I showed him my arms. After I did that he ran away and Iwaizumi-san came in. I didn't show him my arms but I told him I liked him and he said he didn't feel that way. I guess he'll find out I'm his other soulmate soon enough though because Oikawa-san will tell him."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

After Kageyama's confession, they both fell silent for a while until Kageyama worked up the nerve to say, "Actually I've been wanting to talk to you for a while." he pulled away after he said that.

Hinata tilted his head in question even though Kageyama was pretty sure they both knew what he was about to say. "I'm… really sorry… about what I did." If Kageyama was being honest, this sort of reconciliation felt like it was being done out of pity, which was the last thing Kageyama wanted. He didn't want everything to be alright just because of what had happened with his team today. He didn't want Hinata to forgive him out of pity. "I never should've said all those terrible things to you, I shouldn't have yelled. I was just frustrated but not at you and I felt helpless but there's no excuse." Even though Kageyama had tried to ignore his feelings and just focus on playing volleyball the guilt had steadily started to eat away at him and now it was as if everything he was ignoring crashed down all at once.

"I mean, I kind of forgave you a while ago," Hinata said, "we all get angry. That isn't an excuse but, I sort of understood I guess. At this point I was just waiting for you to call."

"Well… I was waiting until after the tournament."

"You were taking a long time, I thought you might've forgotten but then you went all stiff when you saw me at the tournament and then you got pissed so I figured you might just feel awkward."

Kageyama glared, "I'm not awkward.

"You kind of are though." Hinata continued before Kageyama could protest again, "Anyway, after that I thought I might have to call you first but then I saw what happened and figured you might need someone to talk to."

Maybe he did. Kageyama hadn't talked to anyone besides Iwaizumi and Oikawa in a long time and now they were mad at him too. He knew what had happened in the gym was mainly his fault but at the same time he couldn't help but want to scream at the unfairness of it all too. Kindaichi and Kunimi got to do whatever they wanted. Oikawa always liked them, they never had to worm their way into his life bit by bit just to get some recognition. No one ever told them to stop calling him 'king', no one who ever pushed or spat on him got into trouble. Why was it only him? Why was everyone always only mad or disappointed in him?

"I hate them."

"Hm," Hinata gave a thoughtful look, "you know what I do when I decide I don't want someone in my life anymore?"

Kageyama shook his head.

"I just don't give a fuck. I think it's a lot better than hating someone because when you do that you waste energy on them, and I don't have time to dwell on that."

Maybe at one point Kageyama could do the same, but everything was too fresh for that at the moment.

"Alright, so um…" Kageyama desperately wanted to change the subject but was also a little scared to be presumptuous so he asked, "what does this mean exactly?"

"Well, I think it means we can be friends again, hopefully?"

"Yeah… um, thanks." Kageyama murmured.

"You don't need to thank me Yamayama. Besides, it's not like you could ever say those things about me again because one, I'm going to be on an actual team. Two, you saw me play and I don't suck."

"Well, you kinda—"

"And three I talk just the right amount."

For an average person, Kageyama was pretty sure Hinata talked way too much. But for Kageyama, Hinata filled his silences so it was okay if he talked more than the average person.

"Right… yeah, so um," Kageyama flushed red and swallowed hard, "Do you um…" Kageyama's heart pounded rapidly inside his chest. "Do you maybe wanna walk home together?"

"Sounds fun." Hinata grinned at him, a purely delighted smile Kageyama had not seen in a long time because of his own stubbornness.

The two started back down the stairs, walking toward the street when Kageyama heard voices from behind the gymnasium. If Kageyama listened closely enough, it almost sounded like Oikawa's voice yelling.

"Hinata, do you hear that?"

"Hm," Hinata swiveled his head to face Kageyama.

"Somebody's yelling." Kageyama murmured, slowly creeping towards the sound, Hinata stomping along behind him. It could very well be nothing, but what if someone was about to die? He didn't know what he would do if that were the case but he couldn't walk away and pretend he didn't hear anything either.

Kageyama carefully peered around the corner to see the two people he probably wanted to see least in the world at the moment, and it seemed like they were arguing.

"Iwa-chan, why the hell are you defending him! Are you not angry about being lied to! He's just been walking around this entire time pretending he's a normal underclassmen of ours!"

"It's not that I'm not angry, but I'm not stupid enough to go march up to him and demand an explanation."

"It's not stupid, it's completely reasonable! We deserve an explanation for all of this and I'm not going to sit here and wait for him to decide whether to tell us something we should already fucking know about."

Iwaizumi huffed and rolled his eyes, "Look, Tooru, if you actually bothered to put yourself in his place all the answers to your questions would be perfectly clear. We've known each other since elementary, we've been soulmates and known that since third grade. Then Kageyama finds out he's a third and doesn't know what to do after we remind him every damn day that we're perfect for each other! If I'd known I never would've said half the things to him that I did! Not to mention you keep playing this hot and cold game where you act friendly one moment and hostile the next like what the fuck was he supposed to think!"

"I don't know!" Oikawa screeched. "He should've told us, he shouldn't have lied, he shouldn't have been a dick to his teammates."

"Right, like you shouldn't have been a dick to him."

"It's different."

"It isn't."

"Ugh, well it's not like I'm like that to everyone. Don't act like you don't have that one person who's face just gets on your nerves!"

"I do, but I usually keep it to myself."

Oikawa glared at him, "Whatever, it just comes out sometimes."

"Well…" Iwaizumi paused, "what do you want to do now, Tooru? I already told him I didn't like him but I also didn't know he was our soulmate and if I told him I liked him back, it would've felt like I was cheating on you or something."

"I don't know what to think right now." Oikawa said and crossed his arms. "I just need time. We'll talk about it later. Not through the soulmate bond, he can see that."

Kageyama didn't really want to hear this conversation, it obviously wasn't meant for him. And he, like Oikawa, wasn't sure what to think at this point.

Now that it seemed mostly over though and no one was dying Kageyama said, "Actually Hinata, I think I'm gonna go home alone today if that's okay," he murmured to Hinata who nodded slowly and gave him a smile that was probably supposed to look reassuring.

Kageyama started walking home then. After today, all Kageyama really wanted was to go home. He was tired and frustrated because the reaction he'd gotten out of the two of them was honestly the last thing he'd wanted even if it had been somewhat expected. Confusion, anger, denial, he'd predicted all of it.

When he got home he saw his mother was cooking dinner and his father was nowhere to be found. All Kageyama wanted to do was just go curl up in his bed under the covers and never come out.

"Tobio, you're home." His mother stated before Tobio could run to his room.

"Yes…"

"Did you win?"

"Um, no," Kageyama paused. If he was being honest with himself, he wanted to tell his mother what happened even if she might tell him she knew it all along. Instead, Kageyama tried a theoretical question to ask his mother's advice.

"Mama what would you have done, before you hated your soulmate, if you found out they didn't really like you."

His mother was silent for several minutes, probably wondering why he would ask something like that before answering, "I suppose I would've found someone else."

"But what if you really, really want it to work out." Kageyama asked, digging his nails into the palm of his hand. He wanted his soulmates so bad, he wanted them to like him, be with him, acknowledge him. Kageyama wasn't sure if he could ever like anybody else quite so deeply.

His mother stopped stirring the pot and turned to look at him, her eyes trying to calculate what he was really getting at. "It doesn't much matter, if they don't like you."

And of course she would give an answer like that. And of course she wasn't wrong either. If Iwaizumi and Oikawa really didn't want him there wasn't much he could do except move on, even though that thought made him feel like a weight was pressed on top of his chest.

He turned toward the stairs after that, feeling her gaze on him as he dragged himself up one step at a time to his room.

Once he got to his bedroom he kept the lights off, crawled in bed, and tried to fall asleep. He didn't care if he was covered in sweat or dirt, he'd wash the sheets tomorrow. All he wanted was escape in that moment and forget that he had to wait for Iwaizumi and Oikawa to make a decision he might never be able to quite cope with.

A/N Merry Christmas! Hope you guys liked your Christmas present ;)

Lol this chapter was an absolute mess, I wasn't sure I'd be done in time. The first part was ok, I didn't have to change much but the second half... it was a train wreck to say the least. Either way, I like how it came out, I had been planning something like this for a long time and now it's finally here. Also, the next update might take a little while as I try to navigate what should happen next, so if it takes longer than usual, I'm probably writing a bunch of half chapters. So ya, hope you enjoy and thanks for reading!