Tuesday morning, I hit the snooze button more than once and had to rush to get ready. I didn't have time to chat with Bubbles, so I said a brief, "Morning," as I walked past her desk.

"Good morning, Tonks. Don't forget your appointment," she said.

I stopped in my tracks. "What appointment?"

"The one with Healer Wells." Bubbles tapped a pink and white striped fingertip on her desk calendar. "Her office owled yesterday afternoon. They had a cancellation, so you're set for the four o'clock session today."

"I don't remember asking—"

"You didn't have to ask. I was happy to help," Bubbles said. She pointed to the calendar again. "See what I wrote on the 18th? Owl Healer Wells' office regarding Tonks's appointment."

I vaguely remembered asking Julia for the counsellor's direction. My note must have fallen out of a cloak pocket for Bubbles to find the next day.

Bubbles misunderstood my expression. She said, "I did the best I could, but she was booked up, so I had to put you on the waiting list."

I said, "That isn't—"

"You only had to wait two weeks," Bubbles said. "My Auntie Griselda had to wait three weeks before she could ride a broom again after her hip replacement."

I blinked. "What…?"

Bubbles said, "You didn't even know you were waiting, and she couldn't practise for the Senior Quidditch Tournament for ages!"

What was there to say except, "I'm…sorry?"

"That's all right," she said, sunny humour restored. "Auntie Griselda caught the Snitch and her team won!"

"Good for her," I said, walking out the door.

.

Since I was going to be late to the staff meeting anyway, I reckoned I might as well stop by Chocolat and get something to fortify myself.

"Éclair au café and café au lait," I told Jan after she greeted me with a cheerful salut.

"Coffee-flavoured custard as well as coffee with milk? Is something wrong?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I'm late to work, and I've got an appointment I don't look forward to."

"Dental?" Jan said, preparing my coffee. "Spells are not as intrusive as Muggle methods, but there is something sinistre about those dentists' interest in teeth."

"Really? What do you think about gynaecologists?"

My friend gave a Gallic shrug. "They're naturel."

"Normal, huh?" She'd obviously never had a Healer who papered every wall with floral prints. I shook off the memory of creepiness and took out my money pouch.

Jan arched her eyebrows. "Save your money and donate to charity, s'il vous plait."

"Ta, thanks." I drank my coffee but asked for the éclair in a bag. I planned to eat it after the meeting.

At work, the Auror offices were ominously silent. Everyone was in the conference room except me. I used a Disillusionment Charm to sneak in, thankful end-of-month meetings were standing room only. Junior Aurors stood at the back, so it wasn't hard to hide behind one of my colleagues and become visible. If I'd stayed behind Fortesque, a former Hufflepuff Beater, Gulch would've never noticed me.

I didn't stay put, though. Jerry was standing a little to my left, and when I caught his eye, he motioned for me to slide over. What I thought was a covert move gained the attention of the last person I wanted to notice me.

"Auror Tonks," my supervisor called from the front of the room. "What information is so vital you must disturb this meeting to convey it to your partner?"

Gulch was such a witch. Aside from a few curious looks, I hadn't disturbed anyone. She just had it in for me. It wasn't my cluttered desk or unorthodox methods that earned her spite. It was my occasional impersonations of her. The last time was February; I'd morphed and sung My Funny Valentine. I still didn't understand why she couldn't laugh about it. It wasn't like I'd danced on the bar of the Iron Shackle!

I said respectfully, "Nothing, ma'am, I apologise for the disturbance, ma'am."

"Apology accepted. Now explain what you felt was imperative communication."

My mind went blank. I didn't want to get Jerry into trouble. All I could think to say was, "I picked up an éclair for him at Chocolat."

In the silence, I could hear several indrawn breaths, as if people were trying to get a whiff of chocolate. Gulch said, "I'll have to verify that. Accio éclair!"

I tried to hold onto the bag, but the spell pulled it, and me, sideways. I fell into the aisle and lost my grip, whimpering as the bag opened and my éclair went floating toward Gulch. The scent caused stomachs to rumble across the room, mine included.

"Auror Shacklebolt, please continue while I dispose of this," Gulch said. With a fiendish little smile, she left the room through a side door, taking my éclair with her.

Fortesque helped me up, patting my shoulder sympathetically. At the front, Kingsley cleared his throat and continued rattling off arrest report statistics. I heard a muffled laugh and shot daggers at the wizard enjoying my misery.

After the meeting adjourned, I said, "Hold up, Marsden."

He had the nerve to smile. "Yes?"

I stepped close and said in a low voice, "If I see a cartoon of this, you'll regret it."

He adjusted his glasses in a nervous gesture but held onto his smirk. "How's that?"

Gulch's evil smile had nothing on mine. "Two words. Janice Goralnik."

Marsden gulped. "You wouldn't."

I morphed my features into those of the ex-girlfriend it had taken Marsden a year and a restraining order to convince they were not going to get back together. I imitated her annoying laugh. "Wouldn't make your life hell? Ooh, Jamie, love muffin, I would." I shifted back and asked, "Do we have a deal?"

He nodded curtly and stomped off. I turned to see Jerry, Tom and Julia walking toward me. "Anybody want to go get an éclair?" I asked.

They all said yes.

.

At 3:50 that afternoon, I approached the reception desk at the Healer's office. "Hi, my name's Tonks. I have a—"

"Four o'clock appointment with Healer Wells, yes. Fill out these forms, please. The Healer will see you shortly," the witch said, handing me a clipboard.

I took a seat and filled out the forms, glancing at the two people waiting to see other counsellors. One looked like she was barely out of school. She gnawed on a thumbnail while reading a Teen Witch magazine. The other woman was older, with uncombed hair. She stared down at her lap, face devoid of expression. I wondered, yet again, what I was doing there. I finished the paperwork as quickly as possible.

"All done? Go on back, last office on the right."

I peeked into an office that was more like a lounge with a sofa and chairs. There was a desk in the far corner, but the Healer was sitting in one of the chairs flanking a small fireplace, reading a file. She glanced up. "Nymphadora Tonks? I'm Healer Wells, lovely to meet you."

I shook hands with the woman who reminded me of my Gran. I said, "Call me Tonks." I looked around, trying to decide where to sit. The sofa was leather and looked cold, so I sank into the chair across from hers. It was soft and comfortable.

"How may I help you, Tonks?"

I had a sudden urge to bite my thumbnail. Weren't we supposed to chitchat first? I asked, "You, uh, help people with problems, right?"

"I help clients with personal growth issues and relationship difficulties," Healer Wells said with a warm smile. "Exploring feelings and learning more effective ways of dealing with them helps many clients gain confidence."

I got the impulse to tap my fingers on the arm of my chair, but I didn't want her to know I was nervous about sharing my feelings with a stranger. Instead, I wiggled my toes inside my boots. I asked, "What am I supposed to say?"

"Anything you'd like to share."

Oh great, the non-directive approach. What if I didn't want to share anything? Would I stare at her for an hour? I'd rather spend the Galleons on shoes.

She glanced down at my file. I expected her to ask about the relationship difficulty I'd put down in vague terms. Instead, she said, "I see you're an Auror."

"Yeah."

"That must be an exciting line of work."

"It has its moments."

After a couple of minutes' silence, Healer Wells said, "Tell me about yourself."

I shrugged. "I'm an Auror. I have a wonderful family, great friends, and the best boyfriend in the world."

Her dark eyes twinkled. "In the world?"

Had I sounded like a gushing schoolgirl? I didn't care. I nodded fervently.

"Tell me about your partner," she said.

I smiled like a lovesick fool. "His name is Remus. He's smart, handsome, kind, patient… He's a brilliant teacher," I said. "He makes me laugh and thinks I'm funny." I grinned. "My family loves him almost as much as I do."

"Remus is an unusual name."

"His mother had a love of Latin and irony," I said. "His last name is Lupin."

She smiled. "My youngest grandson is a fifth-year at Hogwarts. He told me Professor Lupin was the best Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher he's ever had." She paused a moment, and then asked, "Does your partner's…condition…adversely affect your relationship?"

"What? That he's a werewolf? No, I . . . ."

"Yes?"

"I'm not glad he's a werewolf, but…I like having that in common."

I watched her peer down at my file again, scanning the sheets. "Are you a werewolf too?"

"No, I'm a Metamorphmagus."

When Healer Wells looked up, her eyes widened. She was staring at her own face. I shifted back to normal. "Sorry, couldn't resist."

She smiled. "You missed the mole beside my right eyebrow."

I immediately morphed again. Healer Wells chuckled. "Perfect."

"I try," I said, imitating her objective, yet sympathetic tone.

She watched me morph, asking when I was done, "What does a Metamorphmagus have in common with a werewolf?"

"We both change, and people see us as different."

"Surely you receive far more positive reactions."

"Not always," I said. "At school, I was called a half-blood freak more times than I'd like to count."

"Did it upset you?"

No, I loved it. That's why I got so many detentions for showing my appreciation. I lifted a shoulder and let it fall. "It was Slytherins, mostly, so I didn't let it bother me."

"You emphasised Slytherins. Do you dislike them?"

"I was engaged to one."

She asked, "Why did the relationship end?"

I almost shrugged again, but stopped myself in time. I didn't want to appear defensive. I said, "I wanted him to be someone he wasn't. Somebody who'd love me more than his job and never cheat on me." The corners of my mouth tugged upward. "I wanted him to be Remus."

"Had you met Remus?"

"No. That was later."

"How did you meet?"

I gave her the edited version of how I'd picked him up in a pub.

"So you were instantly attracted to him, sexually."

I blinked. How did she know that? I said, "Attracted in every way."

Healer Wells scratched a note on her pad of parchment. I leaned forward to try a catch a glimpse. Why was she doing that? Didn't she know it made clients paranoid about what was being written?

I jerked my head back when she said, "Then your relationship difficulty is not one of sexual compatibility."

A blush heated my cheekbones. I morphed, but not quickly enough. Healer Wells' eyebrows rose enquiringly. I said, "It isn't that we're not compatible, because we are, amazingly. It's…" It was hard to explain.

"Yes?"

Words spilled out in a rush. "If I don't think about it, I want to do it, but whenever we're almost ready to do it, he makes me think about it, and then I can't do it."

"Can't make love?"

Did medishrinks have to take a class to learn how to talk that way: comfortingly non-judgemental? "Yeah."

When I didn't elaborate, she asked, "What did you mean when you said, 'He makes me think about it?'"

I shrugged. "Remus wants me to say 'make love with me,' or something, when I'd rather he got naked and . . . ."

"Took all the responsibility?"

I remembered Remus telling me, "Were you hoping I'd seduce you? I won't do it."

Merlin, I was a terrible human being. "Yeah."

"Is there a reason you feel that way?" she asked.

"I don't know."

Healer Wells looked at my file again. "At what age did you become engaged?"

"Eighteen."

"Were you a virgin?"

"Yes, but I'm not one now, if that's your next question."

Unperturbed by my sarcastic tone, she said, "Some clients have undergone traumatic experiences which have a negative effect on their lives."

I scoffed. "Are you asking if I've been sexually abused? I haven't."

"Not all trauma stems from abuse," Healer Wells said gently. "What was your first sexual experience like?"

Sexual, I was tempted to reply. This line of questioning was getting on my nerves. I said, "I don't remember."

"Why not?"

"Maybe it wasn't that memorable."

"You remember nothing?"

My eyes slid toward the fireplace. The fire wasn't giving off heat, so it must be for decoration to make the room feel warm and cosy. I watched blue flames flicker. "Evan said he loved me, and that he wanted to make love to show me how much."

"Did the experience make you feel loved?"

The flames were almost hypnotic. "Yes," I said, "That's the problem."

"The problem?"

"What?"

"You said, that's the problem…what did you mean?"

"Does everything have to mean something?"

"It usually does."

Healer Wells' calm certainty triggered the opposite reaction. "So? Maybe I was talking off the top of my head. Why would feeling loved be a problem?" I said, "It doesn't make sense. We were engaged. We were supposed to love each other and…" I stopped to laugh. The sound was harsh and self-mocking. "Trust," I said, "We were supposed to trust each other."

"Didn't you?"

I laughed again. "Sure. I trusted Evan, and he trusted me to believe his idea of commitment was the same as mine."

"It wasn't?"

I shook my head, glancing around the room, noting the décor was mostly soft shades of green. The reception area was blue. Were those soothing colours? I felt out of place, like a swathe of hot pink.

"How does that relate to the difficulty you are experiencing in your present relationship?"

I almost rolled my eyes. Did she always turn everything into a question? When she went home, and her husband said, "How was your day?" did she say, "How do you think it was, dear?"What fun to be the partner of a medishrink. I said, "I don't know."

"Don't you?"

I said flatly, "No. Remus loves me for who I am, not who he wants me to be, and I love him more than I've ever loved anyone or anything."

Healer Wells broke the tense silence by stating, "Sometimes, the greater the love, the greater the fear."

That sounded familiar. Had I read that on a slip in a fortune cookie? I said, "I thought the only thing to fear was fear itself."

"Acknowledging fear is the first step to overcoming it."

I rolled my eyes. "Is that from Everything I Know About Psychology I Learnt from a Fortune Cookie?"

She chuckled. "Do you always use humour as a defence?"

"Pretty much," I said wryly. "I tried shouting and slamming doors when I was younger, but it wasn't nearly as effective."

Healer Wells made another note on her pad.

"What are you writing?"

She held out the pad. "Would you like to read it?"

I asked, "Are you having me on?" and took the pad before she changed her mind. Before I read, I told her, "Your handwriting reminds me of my Gran's."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Yeah, it is," I said absently, reading the notes.

Deemed mentally healthy overall, I displayed a sense of well-being, had the capacity to live in a fulfilling manner and showed the resilience needed to manage life's challenges and obstacles. Wait until I tell Julia it's official- I'm the sane one, and she's the nut-case. I lost my smirk when I read further. It seemed that although intelligent and articulate, I was also uncooperative and unwilling to reflect upon my life experiences or explore feelings regarding commitment issues.

I handed back the pad. "Where does that leave me?"

Healer Wells smiled. "An issue has emerged from our session. I suggest you work on that and return when and if you deem it necessary."

"How do I work on fear, if that's what you think my issue is?"

"Think about what you fear. Don't ignore it, or cover it with humour. Face it. Write down the worst thing you fear might happen. Once you acknowledge it, you will be able to deal with it." She stood and held out her hand. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Tonks."

I shook her hand. "Thanks for seeing me, and sorry about the fortune cookie thing."

"Not at all. I may use the joke to open the next Wizarding Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy meeting."

The way her eyes were twinkling, I didn't dare ask if she was serious. I said goodbye and left.

.

I went home.

Not to my flat, that would be cold and empty since Remus was helping Andrew do inventory after the bookshop closed. I Apparated to the place I always found comfort and knocked on the door.

"Nymphadora, come in. I was just finishing the last of my spring cleaning," Mum said, kissing me on the cheek.

"I've just started mine," I said, smiling a little over the private joke. My smile wobbled.

Mum asked, "Is there anything I can help you with?"

I blinked back tears. When I was little, I ran to her with all my fears, but now I had to deal with them on my own. I shook my head.

"There must be something," she said.

I whispered, "Could we sit on the glider in the back garden and look at the flowers?"

She reached out and stroked my cheek with the backs of her fingers. "Of course."

Mum told me about her garden as we glided slowly back and forth. I laid my head on her shoulder and closed my eyes, tears rolling down my face.

.

.

A/N: Tonks thinks she's had a bad day, but in Scotland, poor Harry dreamt of Voldemort in Divination. I'd rather go to counselling, though I'm not a fan of Freud, or his theories about flowers. I did snicker over Chandler's ex-girlfriend Janice Litman Goralnik Neihosenstein on Friends, lol, and enjoyed creating an English doppelganger, complete with an irritating laugh. The readers whose reviews I enjoyed infinitely more than Tonks did counselling were... 40/16 Bardlover Chaharu cupcakeswirl dayday-mamc die Loreley Dolphindreamer eleen ElspethBates emily Embellished Fauzia FemmeDraconis FNP Freja Lercke-Falkenborg GoodQueenA GraceRichie Helena Valentine ishandtwofourths Kates Master katieweasley (n1264) Kileaiya LaneTechFreshie lilmispris Lizet M Machiavelli Jr MollyCoddles mon-ami-runa Nethiel Nessime potteronpotluvhim remus R us siriuslycoco Sivaroobini Lupin-Black Slipknot-3113 Sophia Loren sunny9847 The Wilted Rose (who I promise, if you trust me with your email address, I'll only reply, not spam, lol) and twindevils