In the weeks that followed and in the midst of all the chaos that had erupted when Nishinoya, 'The Guardian of Karasuno' and the Ace came back to the team, Kageyama was trying to work up the nerve to at least tell his mother about what had happened with his soulmate.

The nerves always fizzled out the moment Kageyama was about to bring it up though and he always convinced himself it was never the right time to tell her.

He also convinced himself to feel that way when it came to contacting Iwaizumi and Oikawa about his decision. Kageyama was scared they'd already changed their minds, even if the longer he kept them waiting the more plausible that idea would become, so waiting was counterintuitive.

He was just trying to find the right words though. Even if it would probably be fine if all he said was 'I want to try dating too' or even 'can we talk more first'. But having all of it be so simple after everything just seemed wrong somehow. Like it was too easy.

Tobio didn't want any of this to be complicated of course, but it just felt too good to be true.

Hinata told him he was overthinking it.

Kageyama knew that.

But knowing didn't make his brain shut the fuck up.

"I'm just scared. I was so busy preparing myself for rejection that I never really thought about all of this happening any other way. I mean what if they decide that it's not going to work out? I have never thought about how to take the rejection after already feeling accepted."

"Um…" Hinata sighed. "I don't know… I think that maybe you should talk to Suga-san about this."

"What? But he doesn't know about this! Why?"

Hinata scratched his chin and took a bite of food. "I feel like if I tell you what I'm thinking, it's gonna hurt your feelings."

"Well if you're just gonna call me a coward again, I think I can fucking handle it."

"You're not a coward. But you just have to get over it. People come and go, and even if it doesn't work out, everything will be okay."

"I know it'll be okay." Kageyama furrowed his eyebrows. "I just don't know what I'd say to them."

"Say like, fuck you cus I'm gonna find someone way hotter and with a million times better personality who can actually see that I'm tall, handsome, and I'm gonna be a millionaire."

"Hinata! It'll never go down like that! It'll be a billion times worse than whatever you're thinking they'll say."

"What are you so afraid of them saying?"

"I'm afraid they'll be nice about it. That's a billion times worse than saying I'm stupid and not good enough. When Iwaizumi-san said he couldn't like me, and told me about all the good qualities I had, it was horrible."

"So you want them to sneer and spit in your face?"

"Well no," Kageyama huffed, "but it'd be better because then at least I could be angry. If they're just nice about it then I'll know that they care."

"Hm, that is pretty terrifying."

Kageyama couldn't tell if Hinata was being sarcastic or not but the way he said it made Tobio bristle. "Yeah, it is. I'd rather them hate me."

Hinata groaned. "Tobio, who the fuck could hate you?"

"Uh, a ton of people? Kunimi, Kindaichi, my entire middle school, Tsukishima—"

"Well I don't think they hate you. I think Kunimi-kun and Kindaichi-kun are mad at you, and your school was made up of a bunch of childish idiots, and Tsukishima's just an ass to everyone.

"No, they hate me."

"Why?" Hinata asked, rolling his eyes. "I think you just want an excuse to hate them back. And I mean, none of the attitude you guys have is particularly likeable—"

"Excuse me!"

"—but, once you get passed that you aren't exactly unlikeable."

"Thanks." Kageyama said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"Point is, I don't think you're going to get them to hate you if you tried, so I guess you're stuck with more people caring about you."

Kageyama honestly wasn't sure how he felt about people caring about him sometimes.

Sometimes it felt nice to be cared for, knowing that someone would always have his back. Having someone to be there for him to talk to, having someone who would help him.

But there were times where he didn't like that word too. Times where when someone would 'protect' him because they 'cared', all it felt like was that they didn't trust or believe in him. Sometimes those moments had him spiraling down into a pit of self-doubt and worthlessness.

So every time Kageyama heard the word 'caring' or 'protect', he was cautious because of how they could make him feel. Kageyama liked when people offered their help. When Hinata offered to walk home with him it felt nice. And he liked the feeling of returning the offer to Hinata.

And Kageyama knew he shouldn't be cautious, because both those words had good connotations, but he couldn't help himself. It was too easy for someone to twist it and make him feel helpless and incapable of doing anything without them.

It was the way his parents had made him feel whenever they told him he couldn't do something for his own good. Things almost every other kid was allowed.

A lot of times, there wasn't a conscious aversion to being helped because it was only offered or he sought help out himself. But when he was forced to take the help of someone who cared about him, the aversion was there. And it flared up at the stupidest of things.

Like when Hinata said that.

"Whatever." Kageyama murmured, knowing he had nothing to be upset about.

Hinata groaned. "I knew you were gonna get upset.

"I'm not upset! I just have a lot to think about, okay! And your advice wasn't all that useful."

"I told you, you should've talked to Suga-san. He's better at dealing with this relationship stuff."

"How do you know that!"

"Haven't you been paying attention to anything that's been happening lately? Suga-san single-handedly got Tsukki confess his feelings to Yamaguchi, and we all know he's emotionally constipated."

"Wait… so Tsukishima and Yamaguchi-kun are… dating?"

"Duh."

"Are they soulmates?"

"Nope. That's why it took them so long. They're childhood friends so if they were soulmates they would've figured out they were probably gonna be together a long time ago."

"They could've been platonic." Kageyama grumbled.

"Well they weren't. Cus they're not soulmates. But anyway, if Suga-san can help Tsukki he can help anybody with their feelings. Even you, you just got to figure out how to tell him!"

"I wish I knew how to just figure everything out myself." That would be much better than relying on other people.

"Tobio," Hinata whined, "everybody wishes they could figure it out on their own. But if we always knew the right thing there wouldn't be a need for anybody else. So you're gonna have to figure out how to ask or just take my advice."

"You didn't give me any advice."

Hinata pouted. "I did so. You just didn't like it." He sniffed and turned back to eating.

Kageyama ignored Hinata being butt hurt and started thinking. Getting Suga's help begged another question in Kageyama's mind. How was he going to ask?

Sugawara said he could come to him for advice, but Kageyama also didn't want to be annoying. He didn't want to be awkward either, so finding the right time would be crucial.

And how would he ask for help? He'd have to explain everything wouldn't he… but he still wasn't sure if Oikawa and Iwaizumi wanted anyone to know. But it was only Hinata at the moment, and Sugawara could probably keep a secret better than him anyway so it wasn't like Kageyama was risking much by telling him.

One other person surely couldn't matter anyway, and he didn't see any reason why Iwaizumi or Oikawa would be upset at him for telling a few people. Everyone would find out eventually anyway, so it should be fine.

So Kageyama started looking for opportunities to ask Sugawara about what to do, but an opportunity never came even after a few days.

Meanwhile, things kept happening around him. They might be getting a new coach, the grandson of old coach Ukai, and they had a training camp coming up that he needed to talk to his parents about.

None of those things he particularly thought about though, because he wasn't worried about them.

Eventually he realized there would probably never be a perfect time to ask unless Kageyama made one, so he walked up to Suga in the middle of practice. Tobio felt awkward because he was interrupting a conversation between Suga and Daichi, but it was impossible to get a moment alone with Suga because it seemed like he was always talking to someone. Awkwardness was a price he was willing to pay.

"Um, Suga-san, can I ask you about something after practice today?"

"Sure, I just have to get changed in the club room after first if you don't mind waiting."

At this point, everyone knew Kageyama didn't change before heading home and nobody batted an eye at it anymore.

Tobio shook his head. He would wait for an hour after if he had to because there just wasn't anyone else Kageyama could ask about this.

Today, they were playing against a local team, with their possible coach watching. Everyone on the team would be playing since the coach wanted to get a feel for everyone's abilities.

Sugawara, Asahi, and Noya were all playing on the same team, and it was honestly the first time Kageyama got to see Suga's abilities in a match. Asahi was a pretty strong ace, and Noya was an incredible libero, but just like every game Kageyama had ever played, his eyes were continuously drawn back to the setter.

Sugawara wasn't like Kageyama. That much was obvious from the first set.

Sugawara's sets weren't incredibly precise, but they were dependable. He played much the same way he'd wanted Kageyama to play. Each set aimed to bring out the best in the spikers ability, even if sometimes it was too slow and got blocked.

He was good at tripping up their team with certain plays too. Some of them were unexpected, and some of them were obviously intended to mess them up.

Kageyama narrowed his eyes. It was time to use the quick. "My next toss will be to Shoyo." Kageyama announced, watching the other team's reaction. They were rightfully confused about why Kageyama would just say that and give the play away. "Even if you know that, you'll never stop this toss."

"Tobio! We are gonna look so stupid if we miss." Hinata whined quietly.

"Shut up. It's true that you're clumsy, you have no technique, and you won't ever be the next ace of this team based on where you are right now. But with me around, you'll be invincible, got it. You and the ace, you're both the same in the sense you score for our team. So you better make this one count."

Hinata nodded reluctantly.

"With me around you're invincible? Don't you think that sounds a little cocky." Tsukishima sneered.

"Maybe it does." But Kageyma didn't really care. If there was one thing no one had ever made him doubt, it was his volleyball playing skills. He was a great setter, he knew that, he would never forget it.

The whistle blew and when the ball came Kageyama's play Hinata rushed towards one side of the net. The blockers were all rushing there too but in a split moment, Hinata changed directions and jumped at the other end of the court.

His speed and agility still amazed Kageyama.

The only thing that could keep up with him was the ball.

Hinata swung his palm back and smacked the ball on to the floor, on the other side of the court and they gained another point.

In the end, the club won, and Kageyama was okay with that, but that didn't make what he'd said to Hinata any less true.

Everyone went inside the club room, and for once Kageyama stood and waited outside for Sugawara to come out and talk with him.

Sugawara was the first one out, which made Kageyama feel… good. He didn't exactly know if that was the right word, but the feeling made him want to smile so it must be good.

"Hey, Kageyama. Sorry I took so long." Suga gave him a small smile. "What was it you wanted to talk about?"

"Oh." Now that Kageyama actually had the opportunity to talk about the stuff on his mind, he suddenly had no idea how to express what he was thinking. "I guess I should start by telling you that I know who my soulmates are." That was the most crucial information because they were the entire reason he wanted to talk.

"Plural? How many soulmates do you have?"

"Two." Kageyama said nervously, but Suga just kept eyeing him as if to tell him to continue. "Anyway, I've kind of known they were my soulmates for a long time, but they only found out a few months ago."

Kageyama didn't really feel like saying what happened with that. "Anyway, they contacted me a few days ago, and said they wanted to date me."

"Wow that's great Kageyama!" Sugawara paused and then frowned. "But… is there an issue with that?"

"No… I mean, maybe? I don't really know. My relationship with them hasn't always been the greatest."

"Wanna talk about it?" Sugawara asked quietly, sitting down beside the gym prompting Kageyama to do the same.

"I don't think so. It's not a big deal, we just haven't always gotten along. And I mean, I think we get along better now, but I'm worried I'll mess up and make everything bad again. It all just feels so uncertain. I'm worried that once they see how I'm really like, they won't want to be with me anymore."

"What do you mean, 'how you really are'? What are you like?"

"I'm stupid." Academically and emotionally. He had no idea how to feel his emotions, he just wanted to get rid of them. And when he couldn't do that, he let them out in ways he didn't want. "I think too much. I'm not good looking, or social, or nice. And I'm worried they'll realize that I can't be any of those things for them, and they'll realize I was only ever good for volleyball."

Kageyama went quiet and stared ahead at the school gates, waiting for what Sugawara's advice for him would.

"Oh boy," Sugawara huffed and Kageyama glanced over to see Sugawara staring at him much more intensely than he wanted. Kageyama leaned back a little. "Would you ever say those things you just said about yourself to anyone on the team?"

"No." Kageyama said. Why would he? It wouldn't be true.

"Then don't say those things to yourself." He sighed, "Look, I get it, I'm my own worst bully too. I tear myself down even if everyone else is building me up sometimes. I think a lot of people do it. It's easy to say those things to yourself, stuff you wouldn't even imagine saying to anyone else, but I don't think people realize how much it's hurting them."

"I don't really get it."

"I don't think you're stupid. I think you can act stupid, but so can anyone. Thinking too much isn't a good habit, but you can work on letting things go. Not being very social isn't necessarily a bad thing, and Kageyama you are so pretty! Don't you notice everyone who stares at you at school?"

"No," Kageyama mumbled. "People don't stare either."

Sugawara shook his head, "If you took a moment to look around at more than the volleyball court, you would notice. And anyway, look, how long have your soulmates known you?"

"This is the fourth year."

"If I can notice these things about you in a few months I'm sure your soulmates already know 'how you really are' and they love you. I'm sure they see everything I see, and even if it doesn't work out, it might be due to any number of things. Not necessarily that you aren't good enough. So stop being so negative! Asahi is already enough to deal with, I don't want my kohai feeling all sad too."

"I wasn't sad, I was worried." Kageyama, rubbed the back of his neck, glancing at Suga who was giving him a huge smile now.

"Kageyama, you have absolutely no reason to worry. You are so great, and even if they don't see that someone else who loves you very deeply will."

"I guess so…"

"Awesome! So text them right now that you totally want to date them but they better treat you right, cus you aren't going to settle for anything that makes you feel less than absolutely amazing, right!"

"Um, yeah." Kageyama said, leaning back a little bit further. He forgot how loud and slightly threatening Suga could get sometimes.

Tobio slowly took out his phone and sighed.

"Do you… mind telling me who they are."

"I can tell you." Kageyama said slowly. "But you have to promise not to tell anyone else because I want to tell the team. And also I'm not sure if they want the relationship out in the open."

"I won't tell anyone, I swear."

"Okay. The only other person who knows is Shoyo, so yeah. Anyway, one of them is that Seijoh player who wanted to talk to me after our practice match… so um, the relationship was what he wanted to talk about. The other one is that ace from Seijoh. He's got really spiky hair and big muscles."

Kageyama flushed after he realized he'd let the last part slip. Sugawara only laughed though. "Okay, so that's number 1 and number 4, right?"

"Yeah…"

"Wow, Kageyama, you got an ace and a captain, huh? That's pretty cool." Sugwara said playfully, gently elbowing him.

"Yeah, it is." Kageyama admitted, though he thought of Oikawa as a captain much less than he thought of him as a setter.

"How do you think the rest of the team will react? I mean, we are on opposite teams, and I know Tanaka-san hates Oikawa-san already…"

"Haha, now you're just trying to stall texting them. But don't worry. If you're happy, I'm sure the rest of the team will be too."

Kageyama bit back a smile and more happy feelings swarming his chest.

"Okay, so… are you gonna text them now, or are you still worried."

"I'm still worried, but not as much now."

"Yeah, I don't think that worry will go away for a little while, so the best thing that you can do is try to let it go whenever it pops up. I do something to distract myself when I start to overthink something."

"Okay. I'll do that."

Kageyama opened this phone's messaging app and clicked on the group chat he shared with Oikawa and Iwaizumi. A group chat he hadn't messaged in five or six months at this point. One he honestly hadn't thought he'd ever open again.

"Send it!"

"I'm going." Kageyama grumbled. He wrote and erased several messages, but in the end, went with something simple even though he hadn't initially wanted to. It felt right in the moment.

Kageyama: I want to try to date.

My Favorite Senpai: Okay, cool. Do you wanna talk? We could meet at my place after volleyball practice tomorrow

My Favorite Senpai: Sorry if that sounds weird. I'm kinda nervous

Setter Senpai: Thank god, Iwa-chan. I was starting to think I was the only one u meany DX

Kageyama smiled, and his heart did flips inside his chest. They were so cute! He didn't know how to handle it.

"Well you look happy." Sugawara said, smirking.

"Yeah. That's good, cus I'm really happy."

A/N Sorry for the long wait, I rlly have no excuse, except just no inspiration. Thanks for reading!