A/N: Well, here it is. The final chapter. It was a little hard to write James' letter back, especially since I hadn't originally planned on doing that. Reviews are always appreciated, and if you think it was really bad, you're welcome to say that too.
Disclaimer: Lily and James aren't mine. Lauren is though. YAY!
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Dear Lily-
I don't know what to say. For the first time in my life, I admit. I always have something to say. But this time, I really don't. I suppose I should begin by saying that I agree with you. Life's not fair. If it was, you'd have said this to me months ago, and I would never have fallen so deeply in love with Lauren.
In your letter, you mentioned things that you were sorry for. One of the things I'm sorry for is that I can't love you anymore. Lauren is my life, my love, my everything. I could leave her as easily as I could fly around the world in a second. After you rejected me for the last time, I was so broken. And Lauren comforted me, helped me, loved me in a way that I knew you never would. And slowly but surely, I fell in love with her. Love's a wonderful feeling, Lily. I hope that you someday find someone who will love you for the wonderful person you truly are- and I'm only sorry for the pain that this will cause you before then.
-James
At least that's what I would love to be able to write. But I can't lie to you, Lily- you're one of the few that I always have to be true to. And the truth is that I never stopped loving you. And I don't love Lauren. Merlin, it feels good to say that. The past three months have been a big lie, smiling and laughing around her when I know I still wish she was you. Everyone is convinced that Lauren and I will get married after we leave school, and I know I couldn't have done that. No matter how terrible I feel for Lauren (she is a nice girl, and it's wrong to lead her on) I couldn't have spent my life with anyone but you.
You mentioned in your letter that you were sorry for hurting me. And you're right about one thing- you hurt me desperately. I thought for ages that no one could ever love me, and I put on a suit of armor bravely, never again letting anything pierce me. Sirius then met Lauren, when I'd hit rock bottom, and he endlessly threw her at me. " What a nice girl she is, James" and " She's always be there for you, unlike Lily" and " She's beautiful, smart, kind- everything you've ever wanted." Little did Sirius know that you were all I ever wanted, and no one could take that away. But since I supposed Lauren could eventually learn to fill second place in my heart, I accepted Sirius' advice and began dating her. She is kind, smart, pretty- everything Sirius said she would be. But I always knew that our relationship would start on a downward slope soon enough, and no matter how hard she tried to capture my heart, she just couldn't.
I don't know if you know this Lily, but I was going to break up with her soon anyway. I have a feeling that Sirius is beginning to love her, and its really not fair to keep what he deserves. He's a wonderful friend, no matter how crazy, and I hope you know that wherever I go, he follows. You take me, you take him too. He's part of the package.
Now that I've basically told you everything about me and my feelings over the last few months, I sincerely hope that everything works out for the best. And I have but one more thing to say to you before I leave to go talk to Lauren:
I love you, Lily Marie Evans. I never gave up on us. And I never will.
Love, Love, Love,
James
P.S. Tell your owl thanks for me.
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Now that you've read, please review!
-Kristen