Enjoy the chapter, next week will be touch and go for updates. Have a good weekend!
Chapter fourteen
Blood on my hands
Gwen awoke to the sound of birds chirping. The wind whipped sloppily over her face and the morning dew felt wonderful. She sat up and checked her watch. It read six-thirty. Giving a sigh she pulled herself off the mattress and put the pillows, blankets, gum, and flashlights back into the wooden box. She then grabbed her book and headed down the tree.
The walk back to camp felt wonderful. The sound of the birds really brightened her day even though it was not even time for breakfast. Gwen wondered how mad Kisha, Manwë, the rest of the Valar, and the other staff members would be when they woke up. But at the moment she didn't care.
She reached the camp five minutes later to the sound of silence. The centre CD player had died out during the night, no one remembered to turn it off, and the two Dark Lords were nowhere to be found. Gwen walked up to the kitchen and went inside to pour herself a bowl of Lucky Charms. Afterwards she walked over to the dining hall and went inside. The place was completely deserted and Gwen took a seat and ate her bowl of Lucky Charms in complete silence.
When she finished she brought the bowl and spoon back to the kitchen and washed them before heading over to Lammoth. Upon entering Lammoth she realised that both Morgoth and Sauron were sitting in the middle of the floor bound together by very strong metal chains. She cocked an eyebrow.
"What's going on? Actually don't tell me. I rather not know," she said.
Morgoth huffed.
"The Valar are awake and they're not happy okay?"
Gwen laughed.
"Oh busted!"
Sauron rolled his eyes.
"Shut up."
"Gwen! There you are!" Kisha shouted from down the hall. Gwen turned around and saw Kisha standing in the hallway. She looked dishevelled and out of sorts.
"Are you feeling alright Kisha?" Gwen asked.
Kisha shook her head and in the process made her head hurt even more so she put her hand to her head.
"No, I feel like I have a massive hang over. The two idiots over there told us everything," she replied.
"Yeah, too bad I didn't realise something was amiss until it was too late," Gwen replied.
Gwen could then hear the shouts of campers over at Numenor and Mordor. She concluded that they must have just woken up to find themselves in the wrong room surrounded by the wrong people. She then heard Manwë storming down the hallway followed by Tulkas, Aragorn, Aulë, and Legolas.
"How are you feeling?" Gwen asked them.
"I feel as if someone hit me in the head with a very large hammer," Manwë concluded.
"Do we get to kill the dark lords now?" Eomer asked as he joined the group marching down the hallway.
Tulkas laughed.
"No, what we're going to do is worse," he concluded.
--
"Who would have thought vegetables would sting?" Sauron asked as he ducked from another tomato.
"I think the tomatoe is a fruit," Morgoth concluded after he took one to the face.
All the staff members had gathered in the Great Hall to decide what was to be done with the two Dark Lords. It was the hobbits who thought chucking food at them would be fun and so the staff put the two Dark Lords in the middle of the Great Lawn and told the campers to have at it. Kisha pulled out all the fruits and vegetables she could find, though most of the items tossed were tomatoes.
The rest of the staff sat on Lammoth's porch sipping lemonade and nursing the wicked bad hangover. The staff would have their fun with the two Dark Lords later.
"Who would have thought this could be so entertaining?" Kisha asked.
"This has to be the most beautiful sight in the entire universe," Galadriel concluded.
"Amen to that," Gwen said.
"So after the three of you put everyone to bed they chased you out of the camp?" Aragorn asked.
Gwen nodded.
"Yeah, they didn't find me though," Gwen replied.
"I think that will deserve another chat," Elrond concluded.
Kisha sighed.
"And we've lost another day of camp," she said.
"We still have five more weeks and the rest of this week," Gwen replied.
Fëanor put his drink down and cleared his throat.
"So I had a thought, what if we do something to Dark Lord's as a prank?"
"As long as it does not affect my room, I have to sleep there too you know," Gwen added.
"Yes, of course," Fëanor hastily added.
"But what sort of thing could we do?" Merry asked.
"I'll be right back," Gwen said as she put her lemonade down and ran into Lammoth. Thirty seconds later she came back to the porch carrying what looked like a pack of cards.
"What are those?" Tim the Witch-King asked.
After she settled back in her chair she held up the deck.
"These, are the fifty gloriously wicked ways to get your revenge. I used one of the cards already. I've high-lightened the ones I would like to do to the two of them," Gwen explained.
"Where'd you get those?" Kisha asked.
"Spencers of course," Gwen replied.
"What's Spencers?" Tom Bombadil asked.
"It is a very wonderful store where you can buy all sorts of different things. I also bought the fart machine from there a while back but I lost it," Gwen explained.
Tulkas began sifting through the cards and Manwë and Fëanor stood over him looking at the different ideas.
"Oh that's a good one," Tulkas commented.
"Which one is it?" Gwen asked.
"Number forty-six: Revenge on anyone…Replace the contents of your target's shampoo or hair conditioner bottle with hair removing cream," Tulkas dictated.
"Oh that is a good one, but do they actually shower?" Gwen asked.
They sat in silence for a second and they could hear the two Dark Lords yelling at the campers. Kisha had found a lot of tomatoes and so they were still throwing them at the two idiots.
"Well they will need one tonight," Legolas commented.
Gwen stood up.
"Well I better head into town to buy some hair removal cream. Does anyone want to come with me?" she asked.
"May we go?" Faramir asked directing the comment to Eowyn and himself.
"As long as Kisha doesn't mind," Gwen replied.
She shrugged.
"Don't get into trouble okay?"
"Sure thing Kish," Gwen replied.
--
Gwen started up the car and Eowyn and Faramir got into the backseat of the car.
"Okay so while were in town try not to make yourselves look obvious. You can come with me into the stores just don't touch anything. I'm thinking of making a side trip to this Spencers store to buy some more prank type items," Gwen explained.
They both nodded.
"Of course," Eowyn replied.
"So this is called a car," Faramir said in wonder.
Gwen rolled her eyes.
"That's exactly what I don't want you to do in town," Gwen said.
--
"It's gigantic!" Faramir said with his face pressed against the window looking out into the city.
Gwen had decided that instead of going to the local town, like she always does, she kept going on the highway to the nearest city. When she turned off the highway, her instructions about not looking obvious seemed to go out the window. She turned down one of the streets and pulled into the mall parking lot. The three got out and Gwen locked the door.
"Alright, come on, let's go," she said walking into the mall.
--
As they entered the mall, Gwen's cell phone rang. It scared Eowyn and Faramir but Gwen just rolled her eyes and answered the phone.
"Hello? Yes Kisha we're at the mall. Oh? Good idea. I'm surprised I didn't think of that. Yes I have my master card. It's platinum too. I highly doubt this purchase will max it out. Fine I'll buy a lottery ticket. Mega millions right? Do you want anything else? No, I'm not buying that so tell Thuringwethil to shut up. Okay is that all? Good. I'll be back in a few hours."
The two stared at Gwen with very blank expressions.
"What was that about?" Faramir asked.
Gwen clipped the phone back on her belt.
"It was Kisha asking where we were. She then brought up the point that none of the staff members, besides Kisha and I, have extra clothes so we'll be stopping off at a couple clothing stores before we head home," Gwen replied.
They continued walking into the mall.
--
A few hours later the campers finally had their fill of chucking objects at the two idiot Dark Lords. They had run out of vegetables over an hour ago but Kisha said that anything they could find, from rocks to arrows provided by Legolas.
"Just when it started to get good," Legolas commented.
The group remained on the porch of Lammoth throughout the entire 'object chucking at idiot's'. Kisha had hung up the phone with Gwen two hours ago and she knew Gwen should be on her way back to camp pretty soon.
Seeing as it was getting close to lunch time, the campers and staff gathered into the dining hall. None of the staff members walked closely to the Dark Lords. Except Legolas, he wanted to get his arrows back. Lunch was simple. It consisted of left over meats for sandwiches and pop.
"So do we leave the idiots in the middle of the Great Lawn until Gwen, Faramir, and Eowyn get back?" Aragorn asked.
Kisha nodded.
"Yes because if we let them go now then they'll shower and get cleaned up before we can put the hair removing cream in the shampoo bottles," she replied.
"This is true."
--
Gwen mumbled something incoherent from behind the bags of clothing they had bought at the Salvation Army.
"What was that?" Eowyn asked.
"Opmf the dormph!"
"I think she wants us to open the door," Faramir concluded.
The bags wobbled at her head level. The three reached the car and Faramir opened the door and she threw the bags in. She rubbed her left arm.
"Who would have thought nine bags of clothes would weigh so much?" she said walking to the other side of the car.
The three of them had gone to the Spencers in the mall, to buy the fart machine and other prank type items, the hair care store, to buy hair removal cream and bottles of shampoo, and then to the Salvation Army to purchase clothes for the staff members. Gwen had no idea what size any of the characters were but Faramir and Eowyn helped out a bit with the guess work. After the group got into the car and drove down the road, Gwen pulled off at another second hand clothing store and they repeated the same process of going through articles of clothing that would hopefully fit the staff members. Clothing one hundred staff members for six-weeks proved to be a very trying task. By the time they left the second used clothing store and brought the nineteen garbage bags of clothes to the car it was already four in the afternoon.
Gwen started the car and waited for Faramir and Eowyn to squeeze in. There was barely enough room left in the car. They had filled the trunk up and most of the backseat. Eowyn had to lay on top of the clothes in the backseat.
"We're not going to anymore clothing stores are we?" Eowyn asked.
Gwen shook her head.
"No, I think we have enough clothes for now. But before we head home I have to make one more stop," she replied.
She pulled out of the clothing store's parking lot and drove the car to the gas station.
"I'll be right back," she replied as she got out.
Five minutes later she returned with five Mega Millions tickets in her hand. Gwen and Kisha always had a habit of buying the lottery tickets. They always vowed that if one of them won the jackpot, which was very unlikely, they would split it between the two of them.
She pulled out of the gas station and drove down the highway.
"So did you have fun?" Gwen asked.
"That was worse then battling off a battalion of orcs," Faramir replied.
"I'd have to agree with that one," Eowyn put in.
--
It was around five at night when Kisha went to her car to find a CD she wanted to listen to. She then saw the headlights of Gwen's car and smiled. She waited in the parking lot and her eyes went wide when she saw the amount of bags in the backseat of the car. Gwen parked her black Sedan and Faramir and Eowyn quickly got out. Kisha laughed.
"Did you enjoy yourselves?" Kisha asked.
"I'm never getting in one of those again. Nor am I going into town to buy clothes. I'll make my own thank you very much," Eowyn replied.
Gwen rolled her eyes.
"Alright come on, I need help getting these bags in," Gwen asked.
Kisha looked inside the car and pulled out a few bags.
"Boy did you get a lot," she commented.
"Well we have to cloth one hundred people for six-weeks. Plus I have no idea what size half of them are," Gwen replied.
"This is true," Kisha said.
Gwen leaned in the car and pulled out six bags.
"Are the Dark Lords still chained in the middle of the Great Lawn?" Gwen asked.
Kisha nodded.
"Yup, we thought it would be wise to keep them there until you got back with the hair removing cream. You did get it right?"
Gwen's eyes went wide.
"I knew I forgot something!"
Kisha's face went from amusement to anger.
"Don't tell me you forgot!"
Kisha looked absolutely livid. Gwen couldn't contain her laughter anymore and it burst out.
"Chill out Kish, of course I got it. It was the first place we went," Gwen said.
Kisha let out a sigh of relief.
"Oh thank Iluvatar," she said.