Allo everybody!

Corrina: Why thank you:) I come up with some of these things in my sleep. I'm glad they work half the time:):)

Okay so enjoy the chapter. See if you can spot the Monty Python and the Holy Grail reference in the chapter!

Chapter seventeen

The siege part II

It was around five o'clock in the morning when Gwen woke up. She looked over and saw that Aragorn was up and he was pacing about the room. It looked like he had not much sleep.

"I think we should head back now," Aragorn said.

"Have you slept at all?" Gwen asked sitting up.

He shook his head.

"I couldn't sleep," he replied.

"Figures."

Gwen stood up and put the blankets and pillows back in the box. She then pulled out her cell phone and called Amarië.

"Hello?"

"Amarië is that you?" Gwen asked.

"Yes."

"Where are you?"

"The third floor, why?"

"Do you see anybody surrounding Lammoth?" Gwen asked.

She heard some movement and then silence for a few seconds. Gwen began to get impatient.

"Well?" she said. Her foot started tapping against the base of the tree house.

"Nope. Nobody. It is dark over at the camper dorms and nobody is near Lammoth," Amarië answered.

"Thanks Ama, see you in a few. We're on our way over now."

Gwen hung up the phone after Amarië said goodbye and the two climbed down the tree.

"I need a beer," Gwen said after five minutes of walking in silence.

"The last time you got a beer you came back to the camp drunk," Aragorn replied.

Gwen rolled her eyes.

"Well that is the point you know."

The two reached the clearing and spotted Lammoth.

"So how do we get inside?" Aragorn asked.

"Oh I know a way," Gwen replied.

The two walked to the emergency exit door at the back of Lammoth. The door was made of industrial strength steel so nobody felt the need to block it. It was locked though and Gwen pulled out her key.

"Does that key open everything?" Aragorn asked.

"Yup, it's the skeleton key. Kisha has two of them and she gave me one after the rest of the staff vanished," Gwen replied. She turned the key and heard the click. She smiled at Aragorn.

"It's a good thing she gave it to me too," she said.

The two entered into Lammoth and walked down the hallway.

"I wonder where everyone is," Gwen said.

"They're probably in the living room and…" his eyes went wide as he trailed off his sentence.

"Gwen watch out!" he then exclaimed.

A very familiar baseball bat swung out from the shadows and collided with the side of Gwen's head. Gwen gave a frustrated sigh before she passed out and hitting the ground.

"It's us! Aragorn and Gwen! Why did you hit her?" Aragorn demanded.

He then dropped to the floor to check on Gwen.

The person stepped from the shadows.

"Aragorn?" Gilrean asked. Her eyes looked bloodshot and she gripped the baseball bat tightly against her head.

"Mother! What in the name of Ilúvatar has gotten into you?" Aragorn asked.

"I…I thought you were them and you were breaking in and I didn't know what to do!"

Aragorn hugged her.

"It's okay. It's going to be okay. Come on and help me carry her to the living room," Aragorn said.

Aragorn picked Gwen up and carried her down the hall.

"Make a space!" Gilrean exclaimed.

Everyone was in the living room, sans the night watch, and they became startled when they saw Aragorn carrying in an unconscious Gwen. They made a space on one of the couches and Aragorn set her down. Kisha put a pillow under her head.

"What happened?" Kisha asked.

"Gilrean thought we were them and she swung the baseball bat at Gwen's head," Aragorn explained.

"Sweet Ilúvatar," muttered Kisha. "We can never have a regular day where someone is not unconscious can we?"

She checked her pulse. It was regular and her breathing was normal. Gilrean looked on.

"Is she going to be okay?" she asked.

Kisha nodded.

"All you did was knock her out. She'll be alright."

Gilrean breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank Ilúvatar."

The night watch returned to the living room. Seeing as it was bright and sunny outside, Nimrodel and Amarië could handle surveillance. Kisha continued to watch Gwen while the rest of the group debated on the next course of action.

"Well what do we do now? We can't hold the doors forever," Aragorn said.

"Maybe they'll give up," Rosie Gamgee added.

"I don't think that will happen," Manwë replied.

"I say we take them all head on!" Fëanor exclaimed.

Everyone shook their heads.

"No, last time you went out on a frontal attack we had to rescue you and Gwen and I had to spend a night in the woods," Aragorn said.

"Speaking of that, where did you go?" Kisha asked.

Aragorn shrugged.

"Some hidden place in a tree somewhere. I wasn't really paying attention as I was trying to run for my life because I thought some of The Ringwraths were behind me."

"Wow, a ranger that does not know where he was. I am shocked," Fëanor exclaimed.

Aragorn glared at him.

"You're welcome for saving your life you know. I cut my hand up escaping from the Great Hall."

Fëanor crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"I could have escaped from it myself you know."

Aragorn rolled his eyes.

"Sure you could have. That's why you were tied up with tighter bonds then everyone else."

"Shut up."

"Both of you need to shut up!" Kisha yelled.

After Nerdanel calmed Fëanor and Arwen calmed Aragorn down Kisha looked out the window at Numenor and Mordor.

"We need a plan," she mused.

"I never thought I'd say this but surrender is looking pretty nice at the moment," Denethor added.

Kisha's cell phone rang and she answered it.

"Hello?"

"Kish, its Nimrodel. They're launching another attack. It appears to be directed at the side doors."

"Bleeding hell. Thanks Nimrodel. Keep us posted."

"Will do."

Kisha hung up the phone.

"Well? What's going on?" Aragorn asked.

"They're launching an offensive against the side doors. Divide up and block the doors!"

--

"This door isn't going to hold forever!" yelled Bregolas.

Anborn nodded as he pushed against the door with his shoulder. Bregolas, Anborn, Araglas, Gloin, and a few others had been holding the back side door for about ten minutes and they knew that it would break soon without more help.

"I'd have to agree with you on that one," he replied.

"We need more help down here!" Gloin yelled down the hall.

Twenty seconds later Tom Bombadil, Thorin, Ar-Pharazôn, Elrond, and Faramir answered their cry and joined them in on the side door. With the extra help they were able to hold the door. But it wouldn't last long.

"My Eru, how much strength do teenage campers have?" Tom Bombadil asked as the door buckled some more.

"More then I thought, that's for sure," added Thorin.

Both side doors were being guarded with every person available and so that caused a shortage at the main door. Nimrodel and Amarië had not called down telling them that anyone was going to attack the main door that lead to the living room and so by noon those doors were completely unguarded, save by Kisha and an unconscious Gwen. Both Nimrodel and Amarië were concentrated with camper numbers at the side doors and so they forgot to keep an eye out for the main doors. Because of that nobody saw Morgoth and Sauron themselves, followed by the Nazgul, Thuringwethil, Saruman, Grima, Gollum, and Shelob arrive at the main doors of Lammoth. They were then followed by twenty campers.

Kisha was the first one to hear the buckling of the door. She then realised that they were going to break through. She stood up and ran down the hall.

"Get to the main doors quick! They're breaking through!" she cried.

But her cries were futile as the doors exploded open and in walked Morgoth and Sauron.

"To the second floor! Quick!" shouted Aragorn once he got sight of the two Dark Lords.

Fëanor saw Shelob entering Lammoth.

"For how long has a giant spider been here?" he asked.

"She's been here the whole time but has been living in the woods. Sauron called her out for duty," Aragorn replied.

"Wait, is that the thing that poisoned the two trees and participated in the theft of my Silmarils?" Fëanor exclaimed.

"Well not exactly," Kisha started to explain.

Fëanor unsheathed his sword and his face turned red.

"Die servant of Morgoth!" he yelled as he attacked Shelob. At first the spider recoiled but then she used her stinger to attack Fëanor. Kisha watched on in crazed fascination.

"He's actually holding his own," she mused.

Aragorn nodded.

"Yes I'm amazed too."

Morgoth then put his foot out and Fëanor tripped over it and crashed to the ground. Morgoth laughed.

"I've always wanted to do that," he said with a smile.

Shelob then stung Fëanor and he dropped to the ground. His sons drew their weapons and then charged at the spider.

"You know I think we should go to the second floor now," Kisha whispered to Aragorn.

"What? And just leave the sons of Fëanor to fight off a giant spider?"

Kisha nodded.

"That would be the plan."

Aragorn thought about it and then nodded.

"Okay let's go."

Everyone else had already gone to the second floor and when Kisha and Aragorn went up he locked the door. They then began barricading the door with mattresses and dressers that had not been taken downstairs. It was at this time when Kisha realised that Gwen was still in the living room. She gasped and drew her hand to her mouth. Gilrean noticed her sudden display of fright.

"What is it?" Gilrean asked.

"Gwen is still in the living room! When it looked like they were going to break through I ran down the hallway to tell everyone to head to the main doors but it was too late and they broke through," Kisha exclaimed.

They felt the push of bodies against the door. They quickly counteracted it by putting more mattresses in front of the door.

"This isn't going to hold it!" Aragorn yelled.

"Make for the third! We'll have more time to block it if we go now," Gandalf suggested.

Aragorn nodded and everyone ran for the third floor. Once everyone was inside they shut the door and began piling mattresses and dressers against the door. They heard the door blow open on the second floor.

"We've been beat," Kisha said sighing.

"Hey maybe Aragorn will show up with that dead army like he did in that movie," Boromir said then added, "oh wait, he's right here! Yup, were dead."

"Should we go down in a fight or surrender?" Kisha asked.

Elrond weighed the choices.

"Let's see, if we go down in a fight I'm pretty sure Morgoth will have us all killed and if we surrender then we'll probably die in some mass execution type ceremony."

Kisha shuddered.

"Jeeze, who would have thought that hair removal cream would cause this big a mess," she said with a heavy sigh.

Ar-Pharazôn's eyes widened.

"I have an idea! Gwen was the one who suggested the hair removal cream and they already got her so we should tell them that we give up Gwen."

Kisha rolled her eyes.

"We are not giving up Gwen."

"Yes but they already got her remember?"

They heard a knock against the door.

"Do you surrender yet?" Morgoth asked.

"No!" shouted Aragorn.

"Ah come on, there's no way out. You're trapped and you've got no food to survive on. Just give up already," Sauron shouted.

"You haven't harmed Gwen yet right?" Kisha yelled through the door.

"No she's fine. She's awake now. She seemed a bit disoriented when she saw Morgoth staring evilly down at her," Sauron replied.

"Yeah and Fëanor unconscious on the floor, that was pretty funny," added Morgoth.

"If we surrender what will happen to us?" Finrod shouted from near the back of the group blocking the door.

There was silence at the other end.

"Absolutely nothing."

"What?"

"We just wanted to get revenge for the hair removal cream," Sauron said.

"I bet they're lying," Gil-Galad said.

"What did you do to the campers to make them attack us?" Kisha asked.

"I charmed them with my words oh and some spells," Morgoth replied.

"How in the name of Ilúvatar does he have powers and we do not?" Manwë exclaimed.

"I'm thinking it's a sick cosmic joke," Kisha concluded.

"Yes but Galadriel can still read minds," Celeborn reminded everyone.

Kisha mulled it over for a minute and then shrugged.

"I'm sticking with a sick cosmic joke at the moment."

"But that doesn't make any sense," Amroth replied.

"Does any of this make any sense? Honestly! Think about the situation! We're standing in front of the third floor door of a building called Lammoth at a camp called Camp Glingal with Morgoth, Sauron, and a whole load of campers ready to attack us and if that's not enough remember you're shoulder to shoulder with people who have been dead or not even thought of in your time!"

The Tolkien populace thought about it for a moment.

"Yes none of this makes sense," Finrod agreed.

"For being my personal heroes for my entire life you all seem pretty dense," Kisha said.

"Okay so we've established the fact that the only reason I and a few others still have our powers is because of a sick cosmic joke. Are you going to surrender yet?" Morgoth asked.

"Just give us a minute to think about it!" Kisha yelled.

"You got one minute before we break down the door," warned Sauron.

Aragorn then turned to face the rest of the staff.

"I say we just surrender. Maybe they're being sincere? I mean they haven't hurt Gwen so maybe they won't kill us. I know this is a really bad reason to surrender but I'm getting damn awful tired and I know it's not what a ranger would do but to hell with it."

Kisha sighed and shrugged.

"Whatever, I'm getting tired and hungry. I haven't had anything to eat since rations last night and it's now working on four in the afternoon."

There were murmurs of agreement from the crowd. Aragorn began pulling the dressers away from the door and pushed them down the hallway. Gil-Galad and Eärendil started taking the mattresses from the door also. Pretty soon the doorway was completely unblocked. All that remained was to unlock the door.

"Just unlock it already. I'm getting pretty damned tired and hungry. Even if they do kill us at least I won't be tired and hungry anymore," Kisha exclaimed.

"Gwen said something along the lines of 'hey you never know' last night in the tree as a reference to a lottery," Aragorn said. "So, hey you never know."

Aragorn stepped forward and everyone else took a step back. Looking back one last time he leaned forward and unlocked the door. He took a deep breath and then opened it. Morgoth and Sauron stood at the head of the door. They were smiling.

"Looks like we won huh? That was fun," Sauron said.

Morgoth nodded.

"Yes it was, come on let's all head to the dining hall. I could use a bite to eat."

Aragorn's jaw dropped and his eyed bulged from his head. He couldn't believe it.

"You mean you were sincere?"

The two nodded.

"Most definitely."

Gwen staggered up the stairs holding her head in one hand and in the other a baseball bat. Morgoth and Sauron did not hear her coming up behind them. With one hand she wound up the bat. Those directly in front of the doorway, like Aragorn and Gil-Galad, watched Gwen get ready to swing.

"No Gwen! Don't!" Gil-Galad shouted.

Morgoth furled his eyebrows and turned around just in time to catch the baseball bat against his brow. The hallow thunk that the baseball made against Morgoth's head silenced everyone. It was then that Sauron tackled Gwen and the two fell down the stairwell beating each other up at every step. Morgoth had not been knocked out. He only got stunned. When he regained his composure he took off down the stairs. He picked up the baseball bat that Gwen had dropped on the way down.

"I'll show you pain!" Morgoth shouted.

Then everyone in the doorway took off after them.

"Why can't we have one day of peace? Just one!" shouted Kisha as she ran down the stairs.

"From the looks of it I don't think that will ever happen here." Manwë said.

"Thanks for being optimistic."

"What?"

--

Gwen was not in the right mind at the time she picked up the baseball bat and headed up the stairs. Now, five minutes later, Gwen came back to the living room but this time she rolled in with Sauron punching the whole way. Sauron stopped caring about Manwë's warning. He and Morgoth were not going to hurt anybody in the siege of Lammoth. They did it in retaliation to the hair removal cream. Now all he wanted was to knock her out and put an arrow through her head. Sauron did succeed in knocking her out and it was at this time when Morgoth and the rest of the staff joined them in the living room.

"Get away from her!" shrieked Kisha as she bolted into the room.

"No! I'm gonna kill her! Damnit we weren't going to hurt anyone and she goes and kills Morgoth with a baseball bat!"

"I'm not dead," Morgoth replied.

"Well then fatally wounded him!"

"I think I'm getting better."

"She knocked him out!"

"I never fainted," Morgoth reminded him.

"Well then she hit him really, really hard with a baseball bat!" Sauron exclaimed. He had his hands around her throat.

"Sauron I command you to let go!" yelled Morgoth. At first Morgoth wanted to do exactly what Sauron was doing but then when he glanced over and saw Manwë looking rather peeved he decided against it.

"You can't command me!" Sauron exclaimed.

Morgoth rolled his eyes.

"Sauron, as your master…"

"Um actually everyone serves Ilúvatar," Manwë reminded him.

Morgoth turned and glared at him.

"Oh shut up," he turned his attention back to Sauron.

"I command that you let her go or else you'll suffer the consequences!"

"What consequences?" Sauron replied.

Morgoth blurted the first thing that came to his mind. Gwen's face was turning purple and he knew she'd choke to death if he didn't say anything.

"I'll kiss you!"

In his shock, Sauron quickly let go of her throat and backed up in fright. The rest of the staff looked at Morgoth warily.

"What? It was the first thing that came to mind!"

There were murmurs among the staff.

"I didn't know you liked men…" Kisha mused.

"I'm not like that! I did it so he'd let go of Gwen! Stop looking at me like that!" Morgoth protested.

Sauron looked at Morgoth and shuddered.

"I can't believe you threatened me with that," he said.

"Well you were going to kill her!"

"Morgoth's gay…" Kisha said between snickers.

"I am not!"

Manwë, having enough of this childish blotter, walked up to the two Dark Lords. He looked very, very, very livid.

"What in the name of Ilúvatar were you doing? You've wrecked Lammoth and you've wasted two days of camp! When the other Valar and I get through with you there will be nothing left of you two!"

He grabbed Morgoth by the ear and Tulkas flung a screaming and kicking Sauron over his shoulder. The two left the living room and were followed by the other male Valar, Maiar, and anyone else who wanted to give a piece of their mind to the two idiot Dark Lords.

After they had gone, Kisha bent over and examined Gwen. She appeared to be alright. There was massive bruising around her throat and her right eye was swelling. Nimrodel and Gilrean helped Kisha carry Gwen to one of the couches. Fëanor and his sons seemed to be alright as well. His sons were nursing wounds that they had received from Shelob and Fëanor still seemed to be out like a light. Shelob had already run out of the camp and went back to hiding in the woods.

Goldberry looked around the living room and down the hall and sighed.

"Look at this place. It's completely damaged. Where are we going to stay?" she asked.

"Well we could use the Great Hall but seeing as that is probably damaged as well, we'll stay in the living rooms of the student dorms," Kisha replied.

"Are you sure that's safe?" Arwen asked.

Kisha shrugged.

"When Manwë and the others are finished with the two Dark Lords I'm sure it'll be fine. The two should release whatever hold they have on the campers."

Ilmarë plopped down on one of the couches with a sigh.

"Does this happen at every camp here?" she asked.

Kisha shook her head.

"No, just this one."

"I thought so."