Allo everyone! Enjoy this chapter, it's a long one:):)
Chapter twenty-seven
Glue, bird seed, Captain Clean and Super Soakers
"Pass down the binoculars please," Fili asked.
Gwen handed him the binoculars and he looked out across Lake Nûrnen. He let out a laugh. All of the staff members had gathered at the shore line and watched birds attack Sauron and Morgoth who had been glued to their mattresses out in the middle of the lake. Manwë, Tulkas, and Ulmo had carried the two of them out at around six in the morning and neither one had woken up. Now the two were screaming frantically and trying to get off the mattress. Sauron, who really did not like water very much, screamed like a girl and tried to paddle the mattress to the shore but the attacking birds prevented that.
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ALL FOR THIS!" screamed Morgoth from the lake.
"I wonder when he got back. He must have found a ride," Gwen mused taking a bite of muffin.
Kisha nodded.
"Well unless he can walk super fast then I'm sure he got a ride."
"So this was the big prank?" Gwen asked.
Fëanor shrugged.
"Well its part of it. It sounded better then it looks when he planned it last night," Fëanor replied.
"You know we might have had a bit too much to drink when we planned this," added Amrod.
"You need to lay off the alcohol," Fëanor said harshly.
"What are you going to do about it?" Amrod scoffed.
Fëanor then turned to his son and raised his hand proudly in the air. His face got all shiny and the birds began to chirp.
"Then I swear an oath that if you do not stop drinking…"
"No oaths! The last time you swore an oath something really bad happened," interjected Gwen.
Fëanor started sulking.
"But I wanted to swear an oath!"
"NO OATHS!" The Valar, Maiar, sons of Fëanor, and everyone else standing on the beach screamed.
"I SWEAR ON MYSELF THAT YOU ALL ARE GOING TO DIE!" Morgoth continued to scream.
"THINK OF THIS AS PAYBACK FOR THE CAR RIDE!" Gwen yelled back after taking another bite of muffin.
"What'd he do on the car ride?" Aragorn asked.
"He ticked me off. Even though I did kick him from the car this seems a more appropriate punishment," Gwen replied.
Kisha checked her watch.
"Come on, the campers must be finished breakfast now. Since it's the middle of the third week it's cleaning day."
Gwen gave a sigh.
"No not cleaning day!"
"Gwen, just get into costume alright?"
--
"Okay everyone shut up I have an announcement!" Kisha said after she had gathered everyone in the Great Hall.
"Is this about why Morgoth and Sauron are stuck on the mattresses in the middle of the lake and getting attacked by birds? Because we'd really like to know why," a camper named Elaine asked.
"No it's not about that. Since we've had a rough two weeks already and are now halfway in the third, today is cleaning day…"
A few of the campers who had been here before gave a sigh.
"And so we have a special guest to help show us how to clean the dorm rooms properly! Everyone give a round of applause to Captain Clean!"
At the end of the room Gwen, now known as Captain Clean, galloped down the isle of campers on a broom. She wore red tights, blue shorts, and a yellow long sleeve shirt and yellow rubber gloves. She had a blue mask on that only showed her eyes and mouth and two bottles of cleaner hung from her black belt.
"Greetings Camp Glingal! I have come across the galaxy to tell you about cleaning day! Today is a very important day at camp because you'll be cleaning your dorm rooms! Of course the staff will be there to assist you in your cleaning needs. Even I will be there! Now it is important that everyone pitches in today! The faster the clean up the faster we can have beach time! What the staff and I would like you to accomplish today is the sweeping, vacuuming, mopping and general dusting of both dorms. Each person is only responsible for the floor and room they live on. So let's say you live on the third floor, and then you are responsible for your room, the hallway and the bathroom and living room that are on the floor as well. There will be staff members there to assist you on each floor. Now I say be gone and fight the crime of dust and dirt!"
Captain Clean then galloped out of the Great Hall on her broom and vanished from sight. Kisha then dismissed everyone to their dorms.
--
"Hey Kash, I'll give you fifty cents if you vacuum our room for us," Dennis asked as the two walked with their two roommates, Roland and Clyde, to the dorm room.
"Now why would I do that?" Kash replied.
"The three of us hate vacuuming. Come on Kash it'll be fun!"
"But I don't wanna vacuum!" Kash protested.
"Dude, I'll chip in fifty cents as well," Clyde added.
"Same here mate," Roland said digging out change from his pocket.
With a heavy sigh Kash agreed and Dennis went off to find a vacuum. Five minutes later he returned to the dorm room with a vacuum and Kash started. The three went off and wiped the windows in the living room and when they returned to the room Kash was finished.
"Now give me my money," Kash demanded.
Roland and Clyde handed Kash fifty cents each but Dennis made no move to give Kash any money.
"I don't think so Kash," Dennis replied with a smile.
Kash's face turned dark and menacing.
"Give me my money Mr. Rose," he ordered.
Dennis started laughing and made his way to the door.
"Give me my money Mr. Rose!" Kash yelled.
"Never!" Dennis shouted as he ran down the hall.
"Roland, Clyde, help me get Dennis. He owes me fifty cents and I'll be dammed if he doesn't pay up."
The two nodded and took off down the hall with Kash after Dennis.
--
"Okay our windows are done. What's next?" Kat asked throwing the empty bottle of Windex in the waste basket.
Chrisy looked over the room. They had vacuumed the floor, made the beds, washed the windows and cleaned up any other messes that might have occurred in the room.
"Nothing, we're done. Come on let's throw out the garbage and maybe we can lounge out," Chrisy suggested.
"Okay cool," Kat replied.
Kat left the room first and Chrisy had to pull her back as Dennis sprinted past them with Kash in close pursuit.
"Give me my money Mr. Rose!" Kash yelled.
"Never!"
When they were out of sight the two looked at each other and shrugged.
"That was weird," Chrisy said.
Kat nodded.
"Most definitely."
--
"Mr. Rose! Give me my money!" Kash yelled as Dennis ran through the living room and down the hall.
"What is going on here?" Celeborn demanded as Dennis sprinted past him.
"He won't give me my money!" Kash yelled as he passed Celeborn.
Celeborn rolled his eyes.
"Teenagers."
Dennis ran down the flight of stairs and out the door. He then took a left and ran into the other camper dorm with Kash still in hot pursuit. He hid in one of the closets not thinking Kash would find him. Kash had watched Dennis go into the closet and so he put a chair in front of the doorknob.
"Let me out Kash!" Dennis demanded.
Kash took a chair and sat in front of the closet.
"Then give me my money Mr. Rose," Kash replied.
"Never!"
"Then you won't leave the closet."
"Damnit Kash! Stop your bitching and let me out!"
"Will you give me my money?"
"No!"
"Then I won't let you out."
After five minutes of jabber back and forth Dennis realised that Kash was serious.
"Okay Kash you win. Now let me out," Dennis asked.
"Are you going to give me my money Mr. Rose?"
"Yes."
"How do I know you're telling the truth?" Kash asked.
"I'll give it to you when you let me out of the closet."
"No, slide it under the door," Kash demanded.
"But then how will I know that you'll let me out of the closet?"
"Don't worry Mr. Rose. Just slide the money under the door and I'll let you out."
Kash then heard a very frustrated sigh and watched two quarters slide under the door. Kash bent down and picked them up and put them in his pocket. He took the chair he was sitting on back into the living room and when he returned he heard Dennis pounding on the door.
"Let me out now!"
"No, I want another fifty cents Mr. Rose," Kash replied.
"You'll never get it!"
Kash laughed and took the door blocking the chair away. Dennis opened the door.
"I know, I just wanted to see what you were going to do," Kash replied with a smile. Dennis glared at him.
"You're dead Kash!" he exclaimed as he chased him out of the dorm.
--
Morgoth finally succeeded in ripping his head from the pillow using the bird poop as a lubricant. He was covered head to toe in honey, bird seed, glue, and poop and he was not happy. Sauron had managed to get himself free of his predicament an hour before Morgoth did and Morgoth was not happy because Sauron decided not to help him. Sauron had laughed, stuck his tongue out, and swam to shore.
Morgoth swam to shore and tried to get most of the gooey mess off him by repeatedly dunking and scrubbing. Sauron had watched from the shoreline for about fifty minutes but when he saw that Morgoth had finally succeeded in freeing himself, he quickly scampered off.
Morgoth trudged up to Lammoth and walked down the hallway into Angband. The door had been closed and he thought nothing of it. All he really wanted to do was change out of his sticky clothes into something dry and get something to eat. When he opened the door he found Gwen standing next to her bed in just her panties. Her eyes went wide and she let out a very ticked off scream and Morgoth quickly left the room and closed the door. He stood with his back against Angband door. He tried to keep his mind from what he just saw but he couldn't get Gwen's body from his mind. She had been just standing there in red panties and putting a bra on.
What a body…
Morgoth heard rustling in Angband and five minutes later Gwen emerged in shorts and a tank top.
"Rooms yours, knock first before you enter you idiot," Gwen said as she walked down the hallway.
"Yeah well you didn't knock when you walked in on me in the hotel room," Morgoth replied.
"Shut up that was different."
--
Gwen entered the dining hall after grabbing lunch from the kitchen. It was buzzing with campers and staff eating lunch. She took a place between Lúthien and Galadriel.
"Hey Gwen, we heard you scream what happened?" Lúthien asked.
Gwen took a bite of her sandwich.
"Yeah thanks for coming to investigate. What if I had been dying?"
Galadriel shrugged.
"We would have but who can pass up sandwiches?"
Gwen rolled her eyes.
"Well if you must know Morgoth walked in on me while I was getting out of the Captain Clean costume."
Lúthien shuddered.
"Oh man."
Gwen nodded.
"Oh man is right. I'm pretty sure he saw a lot."
"Not good."
"No kidding."
Gwen washed down her sandwich with a glass of pop.
"So what do we do for the afternoon?" Gwen asked.
"Kisha said after cleaning everyone would be going to the beach."
Gwen sighed.
"Great, another place where Morgoth will be seeing more skin," Gwen replied.
"Well you can wear pants and a long sleeve when you go in the water," Galadriel suggested.
"I don't bloody well think so."
"I was just saying."
"I know."
Kisha stood at the head of the dining hall.
"May I have everyone's attention please? Thank you. Okay good job everyone on cleaning! Now we'll be heading down to the beach for a few hours to relax. Everyone has earned it! Meet down in the beach area in twenty minutes please."
Kisha then dismissed the campers and they all went to the camper dorms to change into their bathing suits. When Gwen left the dining hall she spotted Morgoth walking into the kitchen so she quickly ran to Lammoth and into Angband to change.
--
Gwen had fallen asleep in her bathing suit on the sandy beach an hour after beach time started. The sound of the birds and of the waves had been peaceful and so she drifted off. Some of the campers began a game of water volleyball with the staff. The staff, of course, was winning and the campers had no chance of catching up. Ulmo and Manwë sat upon the lifeguard chairs and made sure nobody drowned.
An hour and a half after beach time started, Morgoth slinked his way to the beach. He was still ticked at Gwen for kicking him out of the car, though seeing her naked pretty much solved that, and mad at Sauron for not helping him get off the mattress. He spotted Gwen sleeping on the beach and then saw Sauron playing cards with Thuringwethil and a few campers. He planned out his attack in his mind as he pumped the super soaker. He found it in the garage and filled it up in the kitchen. He tested it out against the garage wall and the super soaker had so much pressure that it chipped away the paint. He then snuck up through the woods and he aimed the gun at Sauron. He pumped it a few times and then fired. The cards in Sauron's hands flew across the beach and he jumped up and hid behind the lifeguard chair.
"What in the name of Morgoth was that!" he yelled.
Now the rest of the staff and campers were alerted to mysterious water shooting out from the forest. Morgoth hid behind a tree and then aimed it at Gwen who was still sleeping peacefully. He pumped it a few more times and then pulled the trigger. Gwen shot up from her beach towel and looked around.
"Bloody hell!"
Morgoth smirked and fired again knocking Gwen into the water.
"Someone has the super soaker!" Kisha exclaimed taking cover behind the lifeguard chair.
Gwen ran behind the other lifeguard chair next to Sauron.
"Yeah and I'm pretty sure it's Morgoth!"
The super soaker fired again and hit Fëanor in the head. Then the super soaker ran out of water and Morgoth ran back to the kitchen to fill it up again.
"Damnit I'm gonna kill him!" Gwen exclaimed as she walked up the beach when the firing had stopped.
"Where are you going Gwen?" Kisha asked.
"I'm finding the other super soaker! This means war!"
--
Gwen trudged into the garage and saw that the powerful super soaker had been taken and she had a very good idea who did it. She removed her favourite super soaker. It had a back pack that could hold three gallons of water that connected to the gun, which held a gallon of water. She went back to the beach and filled the gun and back pack up and put it on.
"Alright, he's going down. Does anyone want to help me? There are more super soakers and water guns and pistols in the garage. It'll be the only time you can take your anger out against Morgoth using a gun and not get in trouble," Gwen offered.
Most of the staff, and some of the campers, then proceeded to the garage and Kisha helped dish out the water guns. After everyone who was participating filled their water gun, they followed Gwen in the search for Morgoth. Fëanor, his sons, Celebrimbor, Oromë, Eönwë, Tilion, Denethor, Kisha, Eomer, and Ar-Pharazôn, along with a few campers, went around the back side of camp. Kisha put on her hands free cell phone head set and called Gwen.
"Alpha one this is alpha two, what's your ten-twenty? Over."
"Alpha one this is Alpha two copy that. We're closing in on the left side of Mordor. We've seen nothing yet. You? Over."
"Alpha one, honestly alpha one? Can we have code names? We want to be Kish and the cool cats."
"You forgot to say over."
"Over."
"Yes but you can't use your real names over a walkie talkie. What if Morgoth can hear us? How about I call you guys The Sil's and we'll be The Ringers okay? Over."
"Copy that Ringers. Well we're near the arts and crafts building. Over."
A few minutes later the sound of pressurised water was heard over The Ringers head set.
"Gwen! We're under attack! Sauron, Thuringwethil, Gollum, Saruman, Grima, Shelob, and even some of the Valar are with him!"
"What?" Gwen yelled into the head set.
"Manwë, Vairë, Varda, Estë, Tulkas, Ossë, and Namo!"
"Now why would they have joined Morgoth?" Gwen asked.
The sound of water filled the headset again.
"Holy schist! A third group has shown up led by Beren and Lúthien and they're firing at both of us! There's no sight of Morgoth though. He might be near you. Over."
"Copy that Sil."
"You forgot to say over."
"Shut up."
--
"Dennis are you sure this is a good idea?" Kash asked as he, Claire, Kat, Chrisy, Tammy Falkins, Roland, and Clyde snuck through the woods. They could now see Gwen and her group clearly through the trees. Dennis nodded.
"Of course it's a good idea. I over heard Beren and Lúthien talking and Beren said that they would be leading a third group against everyone and I thought it would be fun to form our own group."
"Yes but is it a good idea?"
"Yes!"
Dennis pumped the water gun and fired at Gwen through the trees. He hit her square in the chest. Then the rest of the campers in the group let loose their weapons.
"We're under attack! We need backup!" Gwen shouted in the phone.
"You never said over, Ringers. We can't help you we've been attacked as well. This time by another group led by Beren! Oh no! They've got the pressure washer!"
Kisha's crackled voice broke up over the phone and then they heard Sauron's satanic laughing.
"Hi Gwen, Kisha and her group have been captured. Beren and Lúthien arrived at the right time you know. Who would have thought they would have joined us? Seems very unlike them but oh well. We'll be getting you soon. Bye Gwen!"
Sauron hug up Kisha's cell phone and Gwen swore.
"Who would have thought a simple super soaker attack would have triggered so much. I think Morgoth drugged a few people. Why would the Valar aid Morgoth and Sauron?" Gwen said.
Nimrodel shrugged.
"I don't know Gwen. But what I do know is that there are ten of us versus the rest of the camp."
Gwen nodded.
"Then we go for a full out attack!" she exclaimed.
"Why?" Nerdanel asked.
"Well because it's not like they'll actually kill us. It's just water. We must find Morgoth, and wait…who was attacking us five minutes ago?" Gwen said as she looked around.
Gilrean and Ilmarë looked around the surrounding wood but nobody was there.
"It must be Morgoth, or he's sent a bunch of campers to frighten us," Arwen suggested.
Gwen pumped her super soaker.
"Okay then. Let's lock and load. Let's find them. They'll never know what hit em!"
--
"I can't believe you talked me into this," Manwë said giving a sigh as he and Tulkas wandered around the woods looking for Gwen and her small band.
"Don't worry. We pretend to attack them and when Morgoth thinks he has won, everyone attacks. It's a fool proof plan."
Manwë glared at him.
"I personally think you're a fool."
"Come on it'll work!"
They heard a rustling in the trees and then they heard a command of 'charge!'
"It's them," Manwë exclaimed.
The two took cover behind the trees and watched as Gwen and her tiny band rushed past armed with super soakers. They did not see the two hiding behind the trees. Gwen spotted Oromë and Aulë standing next to the arts and crafts building and she started firing.
"ATTACK!" Gwen shouted.
The two, startled but knowing this could happen, quickly backed up and Aulë knocked on the door. From all sides campers and staff rushed out and fired at Gwen and the tiny band.
"Never surrender!" Gwen shouted but then realised it was futile as the tiny band no longer had any water left in their guns. Gwen herself only had about a pint left. She promptly put the gun down and put her hands in the air in a form of surrender. The campers and staff surrounding Gwen parted and Morgoth and Sauron walked through holding the powerful super soaker and the pressure washer. Morgoth laughed.
"I win," he said.
"No, you don't," a voice replied from the back of the crowd.
Morgoth turned around to find who made the remark but then the campers and staff let loose the water guns on Morgoth and Sauron. Gwen and the band gave a sigh of relief and Manwë gave the eleven of them fresh water guns. After everyone soaked Morgoth and Sauron to the bone Gwen stepped forward. She rested the gun on her shoulder.
"Nope, looks like we won."
Sauron gave a very angry sigh.
"See! I told you the Valar were up to something when they wanted to help us! But no you never listen to me! This just proves I'm the better Dark Lord!"
Morgoth rolled his eyes.
"This proves nothing!"
"Does too!"
"Does not!"
"Does too!"
"Does not!"
"Does too, does too, does too!"
"Does not, does, not, does not infinity!"
Gwen rolled her eyes.
"Every activity seems to end in this," she said with a sigh. "But the question is why."
"Because the camp is home to two idiots." Kisha replied.
Gwen shrugged.
"Well that's the nice way of putting it."
--
"Does not!"
"Does too!"
"Does not!"
"Does too!"
"Does not infinity!"
"Does too infinity plus one!"
Gwen rolled her eyes and finished drinking her soda. She stood up and walked down the dining room hallway to where Sauron and Morgoth sat. The two were still bickering about who the better Dark Lord was even though the super soaker war ended two hours ago and dinner was almost finished.
"Does anyone have a bowl of soup that they're not going to finish?" Gwen asked.
Nienna nodded and handed her a bowl of piping hot chicken noodle soup.
"You might want to run after. That soup is still hot," Nienna said.
Gwen shrugged.
"Meh, at least it will stop the argument."
She stood behind the two of them and poured the bowl of soup on both their heads. Sauron let out a very un-Dark Lord-ish scream and Morgoth yelled making Lammoth sound like pleasant classical music.
"You're totally dead Gwen!"
Gwen took of running.
"Like I haven't heard that before…"
--
The rest of the night proved rather uneventful. Morgoth caught Gwen in her hidden tree in the middle of the woods. He had send Sauron, Saruman, Grima, Thuringwethil, and Gollum to follow Gwen because he knew she'd hide there. The entire night was a standoff in the woods between Gwen in her tree and Morgoth holding an axe and threatening to cut it down. Some of the staff and a few campers had gathered around the tree to watching the unfolding events. None of the Valar had decided to intervene, as this was quite comical, but when Morgoth actually began cutting the tree down Manwë took the axe from him and told him to go back to camp. Cursing under his breath, Morgoth went back to camp and sulked in Angband for the rest of the night.
Kisha had decided not to do a group event at night and so she gave everyone leave to play in the dorm arcades and just hang out until bed time. At around 22h, Kisha and Gandalf went out onto the porch to have a smoke. The temperature had dropped and the air was quite cool.
"Jeeze, summer's already over. This is too soon," Kisha said.
"Well when does summer normally end here?" Gandalf asked.
Kisha thought about it for a moment.
"Oh we should have another two weeks of high seventies at least."
"High seventies?"
"Let's just say it should be warm for two more weeks and then the last week of camp sometimes gets a bit chilly. It must just be a cold snap. Tomorrow's forecast said it would be really hot,"
Gandalf shrugged and put his pipe in his pocket.
"Good night Kisha," he said as he left the porch.
"Night Gandalf," she replied.
She sat in silence on the porch for a few minutes as she cleaned out her pipe. After she finished she stood up and winced as both her knees cracked.
"Oh there's a storm coming. I hope it's not rain."