Disclaimer: I apologize for such a long update time, but now that I'm on break I should be able to update at least once a week. Many thanks to those who have reviewed. Neon Genesis is strictly the propriety of Gainax studios. Ladies and gentlemen enjoy the show.

/Text/ German,

Text BGM

"Text" Words spoken or sung

'Text' Thought

-----

Episode 3: Hearts Dilemma

:Begin Transmission:

"Next Stop Pandemonium street station, make sure you have all luggage when exiting the train."

Rei leaned back against the seat as the trains rattled down the track, watching the sun go down through the window across the aisle. The door to the compartment opened and young man wearing a black hooded sweat shirt entered. He made his way down the aisle and sat down across from her, the hood of his sweat shirt obscuring his face.

"Hello Rei," he spoke suddenly. "It's been a long time." Rei stared curiously at the man as he pulled back his hood revealing a pair of gentle blue eyes that peered out at her from under a tangle of messy, black hair.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" The man grinned slightly, his eyes sparkling in the fading light.

"You did at one time," he replied, leaning forward. Rei studied his face intently before coming to a realization.

"Shinji?" The man smiled, nodding his head.

"Shinji!" Rei cried out, flinging her arms around her elder brother. "Shinji," she murmured, nuzzling her face in his chest.

"I'm here."

"I thought you were dead," she whispered, basking in her brother's warmth

"I am," he stated, his body grew cold. He placed his hands on her shoulders and pushed her back from him. "You killed me, me and father, you killed us both." The train entered a tunnel, plunging them into darkness. Rei struggled against Shinji's grip, eyes wide with horror as she tried to break free.

"You killed us," she heard him moan in her ear, his cold breath on her face sending chills of terror down her spine. The tunnel ended, returning light to the compartment and revealing the hideous sight before Rei. Shinji had transformed into the beast she had fought in the Eva, his blue eyes starring out at her from its empty sockets. Where its core used to be, the head of Eva-1 now rested, the face of her father protruding from its mouth.

"It was your fault we died," the monstrosity moaned, its talons digging into the flesh of her shoulders. "You killed us and now you will become one with us!"

"No!" she cried out in despair. "No!" She bolted up right, still screaming, a cold sweat running down her face.

"Rei!" She looked up as the bedroom door slid open and Nicholai rushed in. She stared at him blankly as he approached a look of worry plastered on his face.

"Rei?" He questioned, placing his hand on her shoulder. She turned to face him and flung her arms around him, sobbing uncontrolably.

"Shhh, it's alright Rei, it was only a nightmare, it's over," Nicholai said gently, trying to soothe the hysterical teen. "I'm here now; everything's going to be alright."

-----

"I'm starting to worry about Rei, she's been having these really bad nightmares lately and she seems so sad, she's hardly said anything since she's been here," Nicholai spoke over the phone, rubbing his temples.

"It's not surprising after what she went through in the Eva just give her some time, I'm sure she'll warm up eventually," Ritsuko responded.

"And it's not just that you know? I gave her a cell phone when she started school and no one's called her, I mean she's a teenager, I'd figure she would have tons of friends by now."

"Some people take awhile to make friends, besides she's there to learn not socialize."

"You must have had a lonely time in high school with an attitude like that Ritsuko."

"On the contrary I had lots of friends through high school and college, I was very popular."

"Do you know what else bothers me?"

"What's that?" the Dr. inquired.

"She lived with her aunt and uncle most of her life you would think that they would have called to check up on her now and then, but not a single call like they don't want anything to do with her."

"I wouldn't put to much thought in it Nick, just give her a while to adjust, after all they say time heals all wounds," Ritsuko stated.

"I'm not so sure on that one Ritz, but I guess your right, thanks."

"I'll see you at work tomorrow Nicholai, goodbye."

"Yeah, bye." Nicholai hung up the phone and sighed. He turned to a photograph on the mantle beside him. In it Nicholai stood with his arms around a blonde haired man in a white lab coat.

"I could really use your help right now dad, why'd you have to go?"

------

"And so while mankind has always praised the maturation of culture that comes with the advancement of technology the time came when all was reduced to ashes," the teacher droned on. Rei rested her head on her hands tuning out the lecture as she drifted into her own thoughts. Her eyes floated across the room until they landed on Michael. He sat with the back of his head facing her as he starred blankly out the window. Bandages adorned his head and right arm.

'He got hurt protecting me, I don't even know him, but he was willing to risk his life for mine, why?' She wondered as she continued to stare at him. Nicholai had told her that he lived across the street from them, but she had never seen him outside. 'I don't even know his last name, does he have one?'

"It was in the last year of the twentieth century that a giant meteor struck the continent of Antarctica completely vaporizing it and raising the sea level by 60 meters, the world was assaulted by drought and floods and consumed by economic panic, this event has been come to be known as Second Impact," the instructor continued, snapping Rei out of her thoughts. Rei regarded Michael with one last look before Turing to face the front of the room again.

'He seems so lonely; I just wish he would say something.'

-----

"Hey Ikari, got a minute?" Rei looked up at a girl with blonde hair pulled into a pony tail.

"How come you transferred here when people are starting to evacuate?" Rei stared at her blankly.

"So the rumor's true then isn't it?"

"What rumor?"

"Don't play dumb, the rumor that you're the pilot of that giant robot!" Another girl snapped.

"Well is it true?"

"Yeah...it's...true."

"Oh my god I knew it!" The first one cried out.

"Hey everyone it's true, she was the pilot of the robot!" A boy next to her called out. Suddenly the whole class was on her.

That's so cool, how did they choose you?"

"Was there some kind of test?"

"Weren't you scared?"

"Does it have some kind of special attack?"

"Special attack? I don't know."

"At least tell us what that thing you were fighting was, is it some other countries secret weapon?" The blonde girl question fearfully.

"I don't know that either, they called it an Angel, but no one seemed to know what it really was," Rei answered, the image of the creature from her dreams flashing in her mind.

"You think yer all dat don't ya, but yer not ya don't know nothin'," a gruff voice growled from the doorway.

"You missed a whole week with out permission Suzaharah," the class rep. stated as the boy walked in.

"It ain't none of yer concern so shaddap!" He snapped back, stepping up to Rei's desk and slamming his hands down on it. "Yo new girl, I want to talk to you outside now!"

-----

Rei shielded her eyes from the glare of the sun as she stepped out side into the schools court yard, the boy in the tack suit a few feet in front of her.

"Alright new girl listen up!" He growled, turning to face her. "My kid sister was hurt bad, she's still in the hospital." Rei stared at him, curious as to why he was telling her this.

"My dad and my gramps work in your lab and I'm da only one who can stay with her!"

"Why are you telling me this?" Rei questioned, not understanding why she was dragged out here to here this guys problems.

"I'm telling you dis' because it's yer god damn fault!" He roared point viciously at her face. "She was pinned under rubble because you had ta go crashin' around!" Rei's eyes widened in shock at the news.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Are you tryin' ta make fun of me?! Sorry just don't cut it!"

"Hey Toji cut it out!" A brown haired, bespectacled boy called out latching onto his enraged friend's arm.

"Well what do you want me to do, beg your family for forgiveness?" She asked softly. Toji pulled free from his friend's grasp and brought his hand back, slapping Rei in the face and sending her to the ground.

"What the hell's the matter with you Toji you can't go slapping girls like that!" Rei stared up at him in shock, bringing her hand to the side of her stinging face.

"What, you want a piece of me? Come get some!" Toji roared at the injured girl.

"Can I ask you something?" Rei inquired softly, bringing pause to Toji's rage. "Don't you get tired of being so angry all the time?" Toji's eyes widened before narrowing into slits.

"YOU BITCH!! I'm drawin' da line right here!" He screamed struggling against his friend's hold in order to get to Rei.

"Hey, what are you guys doing?" A female voice called out, stopping Toji in his tracks.

"Damn it, dey just hadda butt in!" Toji muttered.

"Listen up slut! A little advice," He snapped during back to Rei. "Next time yer inna fight watch where ya put yer fuckin' feet! Got dat?! Geddoffa me, Kensuke," Toji snarled, elbowing his friend in the stomach. From the balcony outside of the classroom, Michael watched the scene come to an end before turning away.

-----

"Hey Rei, how's it going?" Misato's voice questioned over the intercom.

"Well I believe I've gotten used to Basic Maneuvering," Rei replied.

"No, not that I meant school."

"Oh... you know school is just school you know," Rei stated, traces of sadness evident in her voice.

"If you say so, are you ready for today's training?"

"I think so."

"The locations to the Eva exit gates, power terminals, armed buildings, and recovery sights, have you got them all memorized?" Misato inquired.

"Yes."

"We'll pick up where we left off yesterday. Start induction mode!" Ritsuko typed in a few commands and the battery clock began to count down. Rei willed the Eva to pick up the oversized automatic rifle and leveled it, firing a volley at the mock Angel.

"Relax Rei, center the target," Misato instructed over the COM link as the shots missed their mark. "Here comes the next one!"

"I wonder how they convinced Rei to get back in the Eva?" Ritsuko wondered out loud.

"What do you mean?"

"Nicholai's been telling me about these nightmares Rei's had ever since her experience in the Eva," Ritsuko explained.

"Do you think it's the Eva that's causing them?"

"I'm not sure, that's what bother's me, what do you think?"

"Maybe this is the only place she has left to go."

'I wonder when it all started, the wandering.' Rei thought, pulling the trigger on the butterfly controls. 'It's like my mind and body are coming apart. Every time something bad happens it's like there's another me watching it as if it's happening to someone else, thinking 'that's not me'.' Her mind drifted to an image of Toji slapping her in the face.

'That's alright I guess, maybe if I lock my heart even deeper away I won't have to feel any of the hurt, I won't have to feel anything at all.' The volley found its mark and exploded bringing the dummy Angel crashing to the ground.

-----

"Nicholai! I'm home!" Rei called out as she entered the apartment with a large bag of grorcries in arm and kicking off her shoes. Looking around she saw a note taped to the wall next to the door.

"Rei, I had to work late tonight, there's some food in the fridge just heat it up when you're hungry, Nicholai," it read. Rei sighed, another lonely night. Looking down she noticed Wolf crawling on the floor towards her.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to something as weird as you," Rei deadpanned as the bat looked up at her curiously. A package of dried fruit slipped from the bag in Rei's arms and Wolf jumped, grabbing the falling package in her feet before flapping off in the direction of Nicholai's room.

"Hey, get back here, I didn't buy that for you!" Rei shouted giving chase. Frowning, Rei stuck her head in the doorway, glaring at the bat as it buried its muzzle in the open container.

"Why does Nichoali keep such a weird creature like you around anyway?" She questioned snatching the package from Wolf's claws. 'Then again the owner is quite strange himself,' she thought glancing at the cornucopia of technical, band, and car posters that littered the walls of the uber clean room. Rei paused as her eyes came across a notebook with the Label 'Project-E Supervision Record' lying on the desk across the room. Carefully she picked it up and opened it to the first page.

"Uncomfortably hot. Subject had large bruise on her right cheek after an encounter with Suzahara Toji (age 14). Will not regard this as a problem until intelligence can gather further information on the cause of the incident," it read. Rei's eyes widened in shock as she closed the book and replaced it. Closing the door behind her she made her way to her room and collapsed on the bed.

'Is the only reason why Nichoali let me live here is so he can keep an eye on me?' She wondered, burying her face in her pillow. 'Does he even care about me or am I just a responsibility?' Sighing she rolled over on her back, starring up at the ceiling. 'But why should anyone care for me, I'm just a pilot to them. As long as I kill the bad guys their happy right? But I'm not happy; would I be better off dead, why should I care?' Tears streamed from her eyes as she drifted off to sleep.

-----

The sun glared down on the back of Rei's head as she looked out across the grounds from her perch on the school's roof top.

"Up on the roof top all by her self, da' pitcher of da sad heroine!" Rei turned around in surprise to see Toji glaring at her with Kensuke at his side.

"You guys again, what do you want with me now?" She questioned.

"Stupid, wat makes ya think we'd want anythin' from you?!"

"Right, you must be really bored to check up on me for no reason then," She replied, turning back to scenery below.

"I may not have a reason to be checkin' up on ya," Toji growled, his fist shaking. "But one things for sure, I hate yer guts!"

"So you just came up here to pick another fight with me?" Rei asked.

"Don't be givin' me that attitude of yer's," Toji snapped.

"If you don't like my attitude then I apologize, but it's over after that, I can't keep worrying about what you think of me." Toji starred at her, confusion and surprise mixing together on his face. Rei grabbed her bag and began to head back towards the staircase.

"Hey," Toji called out to her. "You can't just walk away like that!"

"You want to slap me again?" She asked, turning around and facing the two boys. "That's alright with me, but don't hold back this time. If you want you can even push me off this roof."

"FINE!" Toji roared grabbing Rei by the front of her uniform and yanking her off the ground. "But remember you asked for it!"

"Toji knock it off!" Kensuke cried, trying to pull his friend off of Rei.

"Ikari," a monotone voice spoke. Turing their heads, the trio noticed Michael approaching them. "We just received an emergency dispatch call; I'll meet at the cages." He turned and made his way back to the stairs.

"Michael hang on, I'm coming with you!" Rei called as she pulled free from Toji's grasp and ran after him. The two boys starred blankly as the two disappeared down the flight of stairs.

"I believe she managed to slip out of that one," Kensuke observed adjusting his glasses.

"SHUTUP!"

-----

Shamshiel glided gracefully across the waters surface making its way ever closer to the lillim city. The lillim would pay for the destruction of its love, they would all pay. Its message would be delivered and with it the destruction of those who had turned their back on the holy lord and tried to make him their toy. They would burn, every last one of them would burn, she would see to that. In the mind of the beast one single thought flowed through its ponderous consciousness, 'Hell hath no fury.'

----

"Visual Conformation! The target is now entering controlled airspace!" Lt. Hyuga called from his station, the image of a giant, violet hued creature resembiling a flying centipede displayed on the screen before the bridge.

"All personnel prepare for level one combat!" Misato ordered.

"Tokyo-3 now transforming to battle configuration, armament buildings and air intercept systems currently at 48 deployment."

"Rei, are you ready?" The captain questioned over the intercom.

"Yes."

"So the Angels have decided to attack while the commander is away, this is sooner then we expected," Nicholai observed.

"There was no sign of them for fifteen years before the last attack and now only three weeks have passed!" Makato stated.

"It's like they never stopped to consider my convenience, frankly their the kind women hate," Misato muttered.

"Would you rather have had them call ahead?" Nicholai replied, keying in several commands on Hyuga's counsel. On screen one of the buildings split open revealing several ground to air missile launchers supported by trolley mounted mortar guns. The weapons discharged, impacting the Angel with no effect.

"That was a waste of taxpayers' money," the Sub-commander deadpanned as the Angel plowed into several buildings in an attempt to escape from the weapons fire.

"Captain Katsuragi, the Committee is demanding the immediate dispatch of the Eva!" Lt. Aoba called out.

"I wish they would get off my case already, I was going to launch it anyway," she muttered.

-----

"At noon today a state of emergency was declared for the entire Kanto District, centering on the Tokai region. Please stay tuned for updates."

"God damn it, they're doing it again," Kensuke groaned.

"Doin' what?" Toji questioned.

"See for yourself," Kensuke replied, handing his friend the video camera.

"You really get off on dis' stuff don't huh?" Toji asked.

"This is such a big event, I just got to see it, and we may never get a chance like this!" Toji stared at his bespectacled friend with raised eyebrows.

"Hey Toji!"

"What?"

"Let's sneak out."

"Are you insane? We'll get killed for sure!"

"Jeez, keep your voice down." Kensuke snapped. "That could happen even if we stay here, besides don't you have an obligation to at least watch the battle?"

"What's dat supposed ta mean?"

"That robot of her's protected us all in that last fight, man, you didn't even think about that before you slapped her, don't you think you at least owe her one?" Toji glared at his friend, his words sinking in.

"You're a real slave ta your desires ain't cha?"

"Whatever you say, but it sounds to me like you're starting to feel bad about hitting her."

"I'll show you feelin' bad man!" Toji roared shaking his fist.

"Hey class Rep, we have to go to the bathroom," Kensuke said, slapping his hand over Toji's mouth and stunting his tirade.

"Well you'd better hurry it up." Kensuke nodded and motioned for Toji to follow him, the two disappearing down the hall.

-----

"Alright Rei, neutralize the enemy's A.T field, then fire just like in practice got it?" Ritsuko instructed over the intercom.

"Yes ma'am."

"Eva-1 launch!" The catapult activated, hurling the mecha towards the surface.

-----

"Hey Kensuke, wait up, you're going to fast," Toji called after his friend as they ran up the side of the hill. Kensuke burst through a clump of bushes and stopped. Crouching down, he pulled out his camera.

"Whoa!" He exclaimed. "Here it comes!" The duo starred out at the city below, watching as Shamshel slowly glided into view. The beast paused before reeling up right, its front appendages uncurling.

"It was worth all the hassle to sneak out here for this," Kensuke cried out, tears of joy leaking from his eyes.

'That's an Angel?' Toji wondered. The side of the building across from the Angel slide open revealing the Eva. Unit-1 leaped out of the elevator, leveled the pallet rifle, and opened fire on the Angel. Round after round made contact with the messenger's AT field, kicking up dust as they did.

"Idiot! You can't see the target through all that smoke!" Nicholai shouted.

She'll come to her end locked in a car somewhere with exhaust in her hair

"Rei, you have to calm down, stop firing," Misato ordered. Rei's grip on the trigger loosened; smoke issuing from the barrel of the spent weapon. From within the cloud of dust twin whips of pure energy lashed out at the Eva. Dodging the attack, Unit-1 dove behind one of the unrestricted buildings, the whips cleaving the uppermost stories off with ease. Unit-1 stood as the messenger of the day attack once again, destroying the rest of the Eva's cover. Rei willed Unit-1 to jump, the whips shooting out at the violet mecha's legs. Shamshel reared back and slammed its upper half into the Eva, forcing it into a cluster of buildings behind it.

What's she called? I dunno she's fucking with a slip of a man while the engine ran.

"She's gettin' thrashed out there," Toji shouted.

"Don't worry, I'm sure she's just getting warmed up," Kensuke assured.

"Rei, I'm sending up a spare rifle, grab it!" Misato ordered. A loud thunk issued from a building behind the Eva. Unit-1 rolled over as Shamshel's whips lashed out, impacting the ground where the Eva once was. The Eva stood and made a mad dash for the spare weapon. Grabbing it, Uint-1 spun around and opened fire on the Angel once more. The shots pierced the Angel's AT field impacting on its purple carapace. Unit-1 approached the Angel firing off another volley as it drew nearer. Shamshel grabbed the Eva around the foot and pulled its legs out from under it, bringing the violet mecha crashing to the ground. Rei pulled the trigger in surprise, the last few shots going wild and leveling several of the surrounding buildings. Shamshel lifted the Eva off the ground and hurled it through the air severing the umbilical cable.

And he said "She's not dead she's gone away gone away" he said

"Umbilical cable severed, the Eva has switched over to internal batteries," Lt. Ibuki cried out from her station.

"Incomin'!" Toji yelled, the air borne Eva descending towards them.

"GYAAAAAAAAH!!!" The Eva impacted the ground heavily, leveling the hillside temple.

"Rei! Are you alright?" Nicholai called.

"Damage report?!" Misato questioned.

"None, all green!" Maya answered.

"Uh," Rei moaned, rubbing her injured head. Looking out the side view port, her eyes widened in shock. In between the middle and index finger of Unit-1's left hand, Toji and Kensuke sat curled in a ball, their fear stricken faces covered in sweat.

"Those are Rei's classmates!" Misato exclaimed, the teens' files appearing on a screen next to her.

"What the hell are they doing out there!?" Misato turned back to the main screen, her eyes wide in shock.

"Rei, you have to get up now!" Shamshel hovered ominously over the fallen mecha.

He said "She's not dead just go away go away" he said.

"Hurry!" The messenger's whips flew out to deliver the finishing blow. The Eva reached out and grabbed the writhing masses of pure energy, intercepting them before they could cause any damage.

"Surfaces in contact with the target are melting!" Lt. Ibuki alerted.

"Why doesn't she just get clear?" Toji questioned, watching as the Eva struggled against the beast.

"Because we're here, if she moves we're dead!"

"Unit-1's active remaining time 3 minutes!"

"Rei fall back now, just concentrate on getting up."

'Easy for you to say, Rei thought glancing out the side view. "If I screw up and crush those two." She watched the two's fear stricken faces in concern.

"What am I going to do?" She pulled back on one of the controls, the back of the Eva's neck opened and the Entry Plug slide out.

"Rei, what are you doing?!" Misato questioned in shock.

In the car he couldn't afford they found his made up name on her ankle chain.

"You two get in now!" Rei ordered over the loud speaker.

"Hey, she said ta get in dat thing!"

"Let's go!"

"Wait a second; you can't just let unauthorized civilians in the Entry Plug!" The two boys climbed onto the side of the plug and jumped in.

"What da hell!"

"Why is there water in here?"

"Can you guys be quiet, you're distracting me."

"What'd you say!" Toji snarled shaking his fist at Rei.

So don't call don't call her at home she's fucking with a slip of a man while the engine ran.

"We're detecting irregularities in the nervous system!" Maya called.

"It's because she's taken on two foreign bodies, they're interfering with the nerve pulses," Ritsuko explained.

"You're supposed to ask me for orders!" Misato shouted. "You had a number of other options."

"Damnit!" Rei muttered, struggling to keep the Angel's whips from making contact with the rest of the mecha. Bringing Unit-1's foot under the monstrosities body, she forced it up and back, crashing to the ground at the edge of the city. Unit-1 stood, its melted hands still smoldering.

"Rei, fall back, that's an order, use retrieval route 34 to the back of the mountain. Rei willed the mecha forward towards the fallen Angel.

"Yo Ikari, what are you doin' she's tellin' ya ta fall back!?"

"I'm not going back; I'm not running away for anyone."

"What are you talkin' about, this ain't a time fer da attitude," Toji growled rapping Rei in the skull with his knuckle. Rei pulled a switch on the controls opening the left shoulder pylon and drawing the progressive knife prototype.

"Progressive knife has been drawn!" Lt. Hyuga alerted.

"What!?"

"It looks like Rei decided to give me toy its first field test," said Nicholai with a slight grin.

"Rei follow my orders, fall back now damnit!" Misato roared. With a cry of fury, Rei charged the messenger of the day as it stood, the oversized dagger vibrating in the Eva's damaged hands.
"Oh, god have mercy, please I don't want to die!" Toji and Kensuke whimpered in unison as Unit-1 continued its wild charge.

"AAARRAAGGH!!" Rei screamed as the Angel's whips shot out and pierced Unit-1's body.

And he said "She's not dead, she's gone away gone away" he said .

"No stop I can't take it anymore!" Toji cried.

"Yaaah!" Rei roared, ramming the knife into the Angel's core.

"Unit-1 active time remaining, 28 seconds," Maya called from her station. On screen violent flashes of light emitted from the beasts shattered core.

"27, 26, 25, 24."

"Just what the hell where you thinking by pulling this Rei?" Misato wondered. Rei grunted with pain and effort as she forced the knife deeper into the Angel, its tentacles wiggling around violently within the Eva's body.

"Ten seconds to total shutdown, 9, 8, 7, 6."

"Unnnhh!" Rei moaned in pain.He said

"She's not dead, she's gone away gone away" he said "Just gone away gone away" he said.

"Five seconds, 4, 3, 2, 1 ,0." The light from the Angel's core faded, the whips phasing out of existence leaving two gaping wounds in the Eva's lower torso.

"Eva Unit-1 is completely inactive!" Maya reported.

"The target?" Misato questioned.

"Target is quiet, no sign of activity ma'am," Shigeru replied. Rei slumped forward in her seat breathing heavily, sweat running down her face.

"Hey, Ikari, you alright?" questioned a worried Toji.

"I'm alright, I'll be fine," She replied, burying her face in her hands sobbing. Toji looked on at her, genuine concern imposed on his features.

She's gone away to someone else's bed.

"Ikari?"

End Transmission:

TO BE CONTINUED-