Typical Disclaimer: This story has the typical violence you'll see in the show along with all the angst. I try not to get too off character or too violent, but I'm giving it a mature rating just to be on the safe side.
I of course own nothing and get nothing but the satisfaction of writing the story and hopefully making it enjoyable for others as well. Comments are always welcome, good or bad. Thank you to everyone and I hope you enjoy it.
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Sam watched almost in a daze as Leigh burned and disappeared. Dean had done his job, but where had Leigh taken him? It was just blinding white light that surrounded him. There were no features of anything, just white as far as he could see.
"Hello Sam."
Sam froze in place. The voice was soft and familiar. So familiar that he suddenly sobbed as he let the air escape his lungs. He was almost afraid to turn, afraid that he'd been hearing things. But he turned slowly towards the voice and it was her. "Jess?"
---
Dean cursed as he pulled Sam's heavy frame down the hall of Paul's house towards the front door. Grabbing the keys from his pocket he ran out of the house to the Impala and pulled it up the driveway and then backed it into the yard so that the passenger side was facing the front door. He then ran back into the house and pulled Sam to the car and into the back seat. "Damn it Sam, I'm tired of having to drag your heavy ass everywhere." He tried one more time to wake Sam, but got no response. "You have got to stop falling for the bad girls!"
He checked his breathing and pulse again, both were still weak, but the paleness and coldness of Sam's skin scared him too much. Dean jumped into the driver's seat and headed for the hospital.
---
Jess was sitting in the flowing white dress that he had seen her in before when she was on the street watching him and Dean drive by after dropping off Charlie the day they'd destroyed Bloody Mary. She was smiling lightly at him. With her white dress and the white all around him, it was almost hard to see her, but her hair hung around her soft face and her bright eyes as she watched him calmly, waiting for him.
Sam stood up and slowly walked towards her, "Jess? Is it really you?"
She smiled and nodded her head, then reached out a hand to him.
He didn't think twice, the almost ran the few steps needed to reach her, took her hand and pulled her into a strong embrace. He could feel her warmth and her arms reaching around him to hold him just as strongly. He sobbed as he held her, "I'm so sorry Jess, so very sorry."
"It wasn't your fault Sam. There wasn't anything you could have done to save me, even if you had been there." Jess pulled back from him. He didn't want to let go, but he let her step back a little so they could look at each other. His hands were still holding onto her shoulders, his tears falling unchecked. She just smiled lightly, "you know that right? You couldn't have done anything to save me. It was not your fault."
Sam closed his eyes and lowered his head before shaking it and looking at her again, "I should have never gotten involved with you, and I should never have taken that chance with your life."
Jess just smiled back at him, "I'm glad you did. I wouldn't trade our time together."
Sam frowned and he opened his mouth to argue, but she placed her fingers over his mouth and shushed him.
"Yes, Sam, I am dead and I probably see things now differently than I would have when I was alive. But I understand why things unfolded like they did. You feel lost and responsible, but you aren't. We were drawn together, we loved each other, and we were happy. You have to hold on to that and forgive yourself for what you think you've done wrong." Jess pulled his head down to her and kissed him.
---
Dean paced back and forth in the ER waiting area while the doctors looked over Sam. He wanted to hit something, he wanted to break something, he wanted to strangle Leigh only she was already gone.
Eventually a doctor came out and spoke to Dean. They couldn't understand why Sam wouldn't wake up and they were running a bunch of tests and went over Dean's head. He just looked glassy-eyed at the doctor before he finally held up his hand and simply said, "Just don't let my brother die."
The doctor nodded, "we're going to do everything we can," and walked back into the ER examination area leaving Dean in the waiting room alone again.
---
"You have to go."
"What? No, I don't want to leave you again." Sam clung to her shoulders almost desperately, like a child about to have his security blanket ripped away.
"You can't stay here. Your body will die if you don't go back and wake up."
"But I just got here," Sam pulled her into a tight hug that she returned. He could feel the warmth of her as he held her close. It was strange at first, but then he realized as his heart leapt that he could actually feel her love washing over him and wrapping him like a warm blanket.
"I love you Sam." She pulled back from him then, with one hand, pushed him away.
"No!" He cried out, but instead of looking at Jess he was now sitting up in a bed screaming no at a blank wall.
---
Dean paced around the room that the doctors had placed Sam in. He was breathing on his own, but the doctors put an oxygen tube under his nose and had monitors for his oxygen, heart rate, and pulse connected. An IV was also in his hand giving him fluids.
When Sam sat us straight and yelled "No!" Dean thought he was going to jump out of skin. He almost stumbled in his pacing, but caught himself and ran over to the bed. "Sam! Sammy? You ok?"
Sam blinked a few times then looked over at Dean. He felt disoriented as he looked around to try to figure out where he was. He nodded numbly to Dean as he checked over himself noting all the different wires and tubes, "what happened?"
Dean stood up and took a deep breath, "dude, you scared the hell out of me again. Paul's dead, I can only hope that Leigh is gone, I burned all the stuff, and you've been out of it for 15 hours!"
"15 hours? God, it only seemed like a few minutes." He jerked his head up, "I saw Jess."
"Jess?"
"Yeah. Leigh took me somewhere before she burst into flames, so yeah you burning the stuff must have worked, then I saw Jess." The feelings were still there, but the memory was starting to fade, "she wouldn't let me stay and pushed me away. I woke up here."
Dean heard the words, heard that he'd wanted to stay and it stung, but he smiled lightly not exactly sure what to say. "Well I'm glad because you were about to drive me nuts making me wait in this damn hospital. You know how I feel about hospitals." He turned and started packing up and threw Sam his clothes. "Come on, let's get out of here."
---
Sam watched out the window quietly as the small town became distant in the rear-view mirrors. Dean glanced over at him occasionally with a slight frown on his face.
"Hey, you want to head east?" Dean smirked playfully, "head for the beach?"
Sam snorted as he glanced over at his brother, "wanting a day of fun in the sun?"
Dean shrugged, "I don't know, maybe a day or two of lying out on the beach watching the girls stroll by in the bikinis. Might be a nice change."
Sam smiled lightly, looking out the front window. After a minute he glanced over to Dean, "she told me I needed to forgive myself because it wasn't my fault."
Dean became serious for a moment as he looked over at Sam, "Did I tell you that once? You see? I told you, I'm the big brother and that makes me always right." His classic smile spread across his face and Sam couldn't help but laugh. Dean turned onto the Interstate and headed east.
end