Yeah, I know, I'm supposed to be taking a holiday but seeing as today is my birthday I thought I'd post a chapter. :) So enjoy!

Chapter thirty-four

I need a beer

After Gwen changed out of her dress and into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt the staff gathered in the living room and explained all that happened. The captured campers and staff had all returned and the campers had decided it would be a good time to go to bed.

"So then I used my godly power and told them I would smite them!" Morgoth explained.

Kisha put her hand over her mouth to hide the laughter.

"Yes, I've never heard the word 'smite' used so many times in a conversation," Tim said.

Sauron looked at his hand.

"I still feel unclean! Stupid kissing…"

"Well at least you didn't have to ring your dress out after they all kissed it!"

Sauron stuck his tongue out at Gwen.

"At least I'm not the most holy Queen of the most holy god."

"Stop calling me that!"

Kisha rolled her eyes.

"Okay so then what happened?"

"I sent them on a quest to find the Silmarils!" Morgoth replied.

"You didn't swear them to an oath did you?" Kisha asked.

"No. I'm pretty sure it would have ended badly if I did."

Maedhros rubbed his right wrist.

"Tell me about it," he said glaring at Morgoth.

"Hey I'm not the one who cut your hand off okay? That was Fingon so blame him."

Maedhros continued to glare at Morgoth.

"Yeah but you put me there!"

"Oh give it a rest."

Maedhros laughed.

"What are you going to do? Smite me?"

Kisha smacked herself in the head with her hand and shook her head.

"I'm definitely going on a long holiday once camp is over…"

--

After an hour of talking, the staff all went to bed. Sauron opted to sleep on the couch since Gwen crawled into bed with Morgoth.

"There are two separate beds you know!" Sauron exclaimed.

Gwen smiled.

"Yes but I need a big strong god to protect me at night from creepy leaders who want to make me a virgin sacrifice."

Morgoth smirked.

"Yes and archers who like to hide in the woods and fire arrows at unsuspecting maidens."

Sauron rolled his eyes and got out of bed.

"I'm going on the couch."

He then walked out of the room and slammed the door behind him. Gwen rested her head on Morgoth's shoulder.

"Good night," she whispered.

"Good night Queen."

She shook her head.

"Please don't call me that."

"How about fair maiden?"

Gwen glowered and Morgoth smirked.

"Okay fine. I'll just call you hun. Deal?"

She nodded.

"Deal."

--

The next morning all was silent until nine in the morning. Nobody felt like getting up after the incident in the woods. Kisha called off the dwarven and Dúnedain expeditions in the woods and said that week four is a free week and that there would be no planned activities. Most of the campers woke up around nine for breakfast though and they were told to make their own food.

--

"Chrisy what are you doing?" Kat asked.

She had woken up to find her roommate sitting on her bed making a bunch of cards. Chrisy looked over at her now awake roommate and smiled.

"I am making secret admirer cards! Maybe of the staff members will fall in love with me!"

Kat rolled her eyes.

"I don't see that happening."

Chrisy frowned.

"Well Gwen and Morgoth are now dating and what about Tim and Vesper?"

Kat sighed.

"The only reason Vesper snagged Tim was because she gave him pizza."

"Yes but it got her a date."

Kat pulled the covers off her bed and stood up.

"So who are you going to give these cards to?" Kat asked.

"Well I'm making one for Legolas, Haldir, Elladan, Elrohir, and Théodred."

"It's not going to work," Kat reminded her.

Chrisy shrugged.

"Hey you never know."

--

"Gwen! Morgoth! Are you two going to stay in there all day? It's bright and sunny out!" Kisha called out as she pounded on the door of Angband.

"Yes and it's hot and steamy in here so go away!" Gwen replied.

Kisha made a gagging noise and shuddered.

"I'm going to put a 'do not disturb' sign on your door okay?"

"Okay! Just go away!"

Kisha began retching as she walked down the hallway. The rest of the staffers were in the living room.

"There's a new rule for today. Do not go into Angband. Don't even knock."

"Why?" Gil-Galad asked.

Kisha shuddered.

"It's better if you don't know."

Fëanor put two and two together.

"My Ilúvatar! They're doing it aren't they?"

Kisha held her stomach and ran into the bathroom.

"I think I'm going to be sick," she exclaimed.

--

It was around noon when the doors of Angband opened. The room across the hall's doors opened as well and Fëanor left his room. He was surprised to see Gwen and Morgoth and he shuddered.

"What's wrong with you?" Morgoth asked.

He made a retching noise.

"Nothing," he replied as he quickly ran down the hall.

Gwen looked at Morgoth and furled her eyebrows.

"I wonder what his problem is," she said.

He shrugged.

"I don't know. Maybe he ate too much for breakfast."

The two walked down the hallway and into the living room. Gandalf looked up from his newspaper.

"The lord of Angband returns with his fair maiden," he announced.

Kisha was on the computer and so she turned around and smirked.

"Any buns in the oven Gwen?" she asked.

"What?"

Sauron patted Morgoth on the back.

"Way to go slugger. Nice job," he said and then held in his bile from the thought of it.

Morgoth and Gwen exchanged confused glances.

"What are you talking about?" Gwen asked.

"Is it true what they say?" asked Vana.

"Is what true?"

"You know…big hands means big…"

Gwen's eyes went wide.

"How should I know that?"

"Well you did uh, do it with him."

"What?" both Morgoth and Gwen exclaimed at the same time.

"Remember when I told you it was a nice day outside and you said 'it's hot and steamy in here'? Well that gives the thought of the whole…uh…doing it…"

"We did not have sex!" exclaimed Gwen.

"Well then what were you doing?" Vairë asked.

"Morgoth made me breakfast in bed and watched the day time soap operas with me. He was being a gentleman because he knew I cracked a rib! My Ilúvatar! You thought we were having sex?"

Kisha nodded.

"Well that's what it sounded like to me."

"I assure you the two of us were not doing anything of the sort. We were watching the day time soaps. Poor Ethan, who would have thought that she was going to dump him!" Morgoth exclaimed.

Tim smiled.

"Sure you were…" he said.

"Damnit! Morgoth and I were not having sex!" Gwen screamed.

"Um excuse me? Is this a bad time? I'm here to pick up my daughter early. My name's Mrs. Dawson," a voice from behind everyone asked.

Everyone turned around and saw a petit brown haired woman standing in the hallway. Kisha gave an awkward smile.

"Of course Mrs. Dawson. I've been expecting you. Your daughter is packing her bags at the moment. Here I'll lead you to the dorm room," Kisha said politely as she led Mrs. Dawson from the room. When she was gone Gwen cringed.

"I just had to yell that. Great now this lady will think we're running some slipshod operation."

Gandalf put the newspaper back eyelevel.

"Well then you should not have had sex with Morgoth. This in itself is a very scary thought."

"But we didn't do anything!" protested Gwen.

Fëanor nodded.

"Sure you didn't."

"Come on Gwen, I'm sure there's another episode of Sunset Beach on the telly. We can watch it if you want."

Gwen nodded.

The two walked back down the hall to Angband.

"Oh they most surely are going to do it again," concluded Fëanor.

--

"Pass me the tissues. I can't believe he did that to her," Morgoth said.

The two had pushed their beds together and were watching Sunset Beach with a box of tissues on Gwen's lap. She handed Morgoth the box.

"I know! It's preposterous! Michael is a complete pompous jack! No don't take him back! Not after that!" Gwen yelled at the TV.

Morgoth leaned over and put his arm around her shoulder.

"I'd never do that to you," he said.

She smiled and patted his hand.

"I know."

They heard giggling coming from outside Angband and they both knew that a small group had formed outside of their room to listen in. Gwen mouthed the words 'play along' and Morgoth nodded.

"You know love; I don't think I can delay this any longer. I just have to have you!" she exclaimed.

The giggles outside the door got louder and Gwen silently got off the bed.

"Gwen, you've taken the words right out of my mouth. To me you are more beautiful then the Silmarils," he said.

He then got off the bed and the two crept to the door.

"Take me now big man!" Gwen exclaimed.

"With pleasure!"

The giggling behind the door rose into a vivacious crescendo and then Gwen threw the door open. Fëanor, Sauron, Tim, and Vana fell into the room. Gwen rolled her eyes and Morgoth laughed.

"Nice try. Gwen would you like to go for a walk?"

Gwen nodded.

"I would be delighted."

The two picked their way past the fallen staff members in the room and walked down the hall.

"And here I thought that they were actually doing something," Tim mused.

--

Legolas walked down the hallway of Lammoth and past his room. He was going to join Haldir, Elladan, and Elrohir for a walk in the woods when something pink and sparkly caught his eye. He backtracked and there, wedged in his door, was a note on pink paper. He pulled it free from the door and opened it up. His elven eyes quickly scanned the paper.

"My dearest elven prince, I love thee with all my heart and soul and I hoped thee loves thou as well. Signed, your secret admirer."

Legolas shuddered, dropped the piece of paper, and pulled his bow free and notched an arrow.

"Alright! Whoever put that in my door is dead!" he roared.

Kisha, who had just gotten rid of Mrs. Dawson, entered Lammoth and walked down the hallway. She was not paying attention until she realised Legolas had an arrow notched and ready to fire.

"Woah, Legolas, what's up with you this afternoon?"

He motioned to the ground.

"Pick up the piece of paper and read it," he said.

Kisha picked up the paper and read it. When she was done her eyes went wide.

"That's it. I'm not having this at my camp. There's still over two weeks left. I am calling for an emergency meeting in the living room for the staff. Gather everyone together okay? And for Ilúvatar's sake, put the arrow away or else you'll shoot a staffer."

Legolas nodded and put his bow and arrow away.

--

"Kisha what is this about? Gwen and I had just left for a delightful walk when we were told to head to the living room," Morgoth asked.

"Yes, we were going to meet Legolas for a walk in the woods," commented Haldir.

All of the staff sat in the living room and waited for whatever news Kisha had to tell them.

"Listen, Legolas found an 'I love you' note in his door which means one thing: the campers officially believe they are really from Middle-earth. I know they knew it when we were talking about it in the Great Hall when we were snowed in. But now they officially believe it. I honestly don't think it's safe for any of you to go outside alone."

"So what do we do?" Elladan asked.

"Go in groups of three or four. Never go outside alone at night unless you have a group of five or six. Try to keep your distance from the campers this week and maybe this note was only a fluke. I really don't want a repeat of the attack on Lammoth."

Everyone turned to look at Morgoth and Sauron. They smiled proudly and gave each other a high five.

"I'm serious. I know how girls can react when they meet their favourite celebrity. Or in this case their favourite character of the Lord of the Rings."

"I can start a night watch," Gwen suggested.

"Yeah and I'll help," Morgoth offered.

"The only thing Morgoth would be watching would be Gwen," Fëanor whispered to Sauron who stifled a laugh and nodded.

Kisha shook her head.

"I don't know if that will be necessary yet. Just keep a constant vigilance. If you see anything that does not belong in Lammoth you let me know right away. Okay?"

The staff nodded.

"Sure thing Kish," Gwen said. "But you know what we all need?"

"What's that?" Kisha asked.

"Beer, beer, beer, beer!" she chanted.

Kisha smacked herself in the head.

"Gwen, have you been listening to drinking songs again?"

Gwen nodded.

"Come on you guys it'll be fun! I'll go into town and buy some beer and we can have a little party right here in the living room!"

The hobbits smiled and nodded.

"I agree!" Merry shouted.

"So do I!" added Pippin.

Gwen jumped off the couch.

"I'm off! To the beer store!"

--

"Oh the night that Patty Murphy died is a night I'll never forget. Some of the boys got a load of drunk and they ain't been sober yet!"

Gwen jumped off the couch and danced around the living room with a lager in hand.

"As long as a bottle was passed around every man was feeling gay. Oh Leary came with the bagpipe and music for to play!" Kisha continued the song.

Gwen was about to sing the next line when she forgot it. She stopped dancing.

"Hey Kisha? What's the next line?"

Kisha shrugged.

"I don't know! But what I do know is that Johnny Tarr could drink but I can drink better!"

"Hobbit drinking song time!" Gwen exclaimed.

The hobbits, with their lagers, went into the centre of the living room and the rest circled around them.

"Hey ho to the bottle I go! To heal my heart and drown my woe, rain may fall and wind may blow but there still be many miles to go! Sweet is the sound of the pouring rain and the stream that falls from hill to plain but better then rain or rippling brook…"

"There's a mug of beer inside this Took!" Pippin exclaimed.

The staff clapped.

"Quick! It's time for Gaelic Storm! Put on the Hills of Connemara!" Gwen exclaimed but then put the CD on herself and put it to the song. The upbeat beginning, which was actually the second part of Irish Party in third Class from the Titanic, began playing and Gwen began dancing. She grabbed hold of Morgoth's arm and pulled him close.

"Come on dance!" she exclaimed.

"But I don't know this song."

"Neither does them! Just move!"

The two danced around the living room to the beat of the music. In one hand Gwen held her bottle of beer and in the other she held Morgoth's hand.

The music picked up and so did the dance. By the time it ended the drunken staffers collapsed to the ground and sat around while Me and the Moon played. Gwen brought the bottle to her lips but it slipped and hit the ground.

"Damn, that was a good bottle too!" she exclaimed.

"You know this was a good idea!" Manwë said as he cuddled with Varda. Gwen smiled and Morgoth put his arm around Gwen.

"Do you want some of my beer?" he asked.

Gwen shook her head.

"No I'm good."

Johnny Tarr began playing on the stereo and Kisha and Tulkas were the only ones dancing to it. Morgoth pulled Gwen in close.

"You know, I love you baby."

Gwen smiled.

"I love you too but guess what?" she asked.

Morgoth looked down into her eyes.

"What?"

Gwen let out a wide smile.

"The refugees have turtle wax!"

--

Kat threw the pillow over head.

"My God are they done yet?" she exclaimed.

Chrisy sat up in her bed.

"Nope I don't think so. They've been partying all night long," she said.

"I bet they're drunk," Tammy concluded.

Chrisy then smiled.

"Come on girls, if they're drunk then lets head on over!"

"Why?" Kat asked.

"Maybe I can seduce Legolas!"

Kat threw her pillow at Chrisy.

"Shut up and go to bed. It's two in the morning."

Chrisy threw it back.

"Yeah well this is a perfect opportunity and you are just throwing it away."