Chapter 4: Mystique
Disclaimer: Square Enix owns Final Fantasy VII
Aeris's POV:
Midgar High Mid Year Examination Student Ranking
Tifa Lockhart
Aeris Gainsborough
…
Not again…
Her eyes darkened. Although she had expected this, she had always held that little glimmer of hope that she might one day surpass Tifa. Aeris sighed and touched the smooth paper reverently, holding back the tears of defeat that she wanted so much to spill. The excited chatter around her dissolved into the background. Not hearing, not seeing, Aeris turned around with her head bowed low and walked away.
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Cloud's POV:
It's something I didn't expect to see… Eyes overcast with rain. I had seen her name on the board… 2nd in Midgar High…
I always knew she was intelligent, I just didn't expect her to be that smart… Yet, in spite of all that, she walks carrying the burden of a thousand sinners. Why wasn't she happy? Why wasn't she laughing? Her face is blank… Her eyes are bright but empty… Her mouth sitting in a perfectly straight line, soft lips with a tinge of gloss the color of watered down wine.
In the crowd…
She stands out so much now… There is an air with an unusual quality that surrounds her… Why didn't I notice before? That she was so…
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Aeris's POV:
"Aeris!"
Aeris turned immediately on the sound of her name. A genuine smile on her face which froze when she saw Cloud tagging listlessly behind Tifa. Much as she loathed Tifa for being THE object of Cloud's affections, Aeris still admired and respected her as an individual. Tifa after all… Was a good person at heart and a great friend… Although I cannot say the same for myself…
"Hey! Cloud and I are going shopping together after school! Let's go together ok? Please say you will…" Tifa pouted at Aeris, giving her an innocent, pleading puppy-eyed look with her large hazel eyes as she tugged gently on her sleeve, a look that could even charm the birds out of trees if she chose to. Aeris found herself submitting for the umpteenth time since the first time Tifa had given her that look and forced a cheery smile defeatedly as she took in her friend's kind, selfless features, her guilt pricking her conscience repeatedly as sharp as a needle.
Tifa grinned victoriously, perfectly polished, even white teeth peeking through pouty cranberry red lips. Compared to Tifa… She felt so small… Her genuinely happy smile that Aeris would be joining her was Aeris' bane… Guilt of her betrayal was pricking her again… Harder this time… Like a snake that kept striking. The venom called guilt was burning through her veins…
Please don't…
Tifa was still smiling.
Please don't…
Don't make me feel worse that I already do…
Unconsciously, Aeris helplessly directed her gaze towards Cloud, lifting green eyes pleadingly. Steely blue met hers scaring her slightly before they softened and dropped to one side. His jaw muscles tight, those soft lips in a soft line… But what caught her attention were his eyes… Which were so helplessly trapped and ridden with guilt. Aeris felt her world crumbling beneath her feet, swirling like dust around her… The freshly opened wound in her heart was screaming to be healed. Yet there was no salve that could…
Stop…
Stop.
Cloud turned his gaze towards Tifa and his eyes glittered softly with affection. They launched naturally into an animated conversation. She laughed…His eyes lit up so happily. Their voices blended together, so naturally… Harmonizing into a oneness that left Aeris trembling in its wake. They were so perfect together… She felt so alone… So separated…
Stop!
As if sensing her thoughts, sensing her tormented silent screams, Cloud turned towards Aeris. His bright blue eyes locking with hers, curious and yet blank and at that moment compared to the warm look he had given her best friend… Felt so unnervingly cold. As beautiful as crystal and as cold as the Arctic frost. The blue color of his eyes were so cold…
Stop it!
Please don't look at me that way…
Her knees were shaking, trembling so hard that it was almost had to stand… Her fingers found themselves cupping over her ears and inching into her soft brown hair, trying to block out the image of his endlessly pensive eyes. She saw them everywhere… Through the multiple shards of a broken mirror reflecting repeatedly in her mind's eye. She bit down on her lip… Nearly drawing blood. Guilt was eating her… Consuming her bit by bit… Until she was almost going insane.
I've always wanted you to notice me… To look at me…
But…
Not like this…
"Aeris?"
"Huh?" Aeris lifted her head to meet Tifa's confused, worried gaze and nearly flinched from another wave of guilt. "Oh… Erm… I think it's alright… You two have fun alright? I… Got to go." She offered lamely. Giving Tifa a small, quick apologetic wave, she hurried down the corner, slowly counting the seconds until she would be erased completely from their conversation.
"We have to get some cakes at that new bakery that just opened! I heard they're REALLY good!"
Wow. It had only taken 3.
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Cloud's POV:
She didn't look me in the eyes… Why won't her eyes meet mine? It was almost as if she was afraid to look at me… What was going through her mind? That forlorn look… Eyes ridden with guilt… She was trembling so hard, biting her lip until I was so afraid she would bleed…
I think… Maybe… Bit by bit… I'm starting to understand her…
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Aeris's POV:
"I think it's a little better to be hated…"
She rested her clammy palms against the cool steel railing and drew a deep, even breath. The rooftop was her favorite place, it was… quiet. It gave her time to think, it gave her a place to simply bask in nature's splendor. Right now, her mind was a roller coaster of emotions… Guilt warring with desire, shame and sorrow…
It's alright to be hated… That's what I had told myself… And yet, I can't bear to see him look at me that way. With that look on his face… Of such helplessness.
Aeris let out a somewhat defeated sigh and rested her cheek against the comforting chill, feeling the cold spring breeze rustling through her hair. Here, she could breathe a little easier at least… She could see Cloud and Tifa in the next door building from here; he was resting against the window, her back towards her in what looked like a deep conversation with Tifa. His face was so serious… So intently listening… Aeris let out another sigh and stared off into the distance. Tears finally filling her eyes…
I really am something aren't I?
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Cloud's POV:
"You and Aeris are really good friends huh?"
"The best! I guess you could say we're rivals too?" Tifa laughed, flipping her dark hair to one side. "The thing is though… Aeris is academically gifted and doesn't have to really put that much effort to do well." She explained holding up a forefinger and pointing it to the sky. "I think… If she can put in just a little effort… She could easily walk over me."
"Tifa… Actually…" Cloud sighed, looking out the window and saw Aeris leaning against the railings on the roof, her long hair blown back in the wind. Verdant green eyes glittering with unshed tears.
"I don't think that's how it is… At all."
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Aeris's POV:
The night had dawned; the air was cool and fresh. Aeris pushed back the covers of her futon and turned on her side watching Cloud sleep with soft, even breaths, his muscled back towards her. The finely spun gold lying against the pillow and shimmering in the starlight would have put Rumpelstiltskin to shame. Smiling softly to herself, Aeris tucked back a stray lock of hair and reached out to smooth Cloud's hair back. "Mmm…" Cloud mumbled and shifted a little in his sleep, snuggling himself into the warm sheets. Aeris smiled softly to herself, watching his chest rise and fall with each breath.
Cloud and I…
Will never be happy together.
Aeris reached out again and pulled away, curling long, slender fingers in a graceful ball, bowing her head low, long honey colored hair cascading and tumbling down her shoulders, shrouding her face. Her eyes were moist…
I've known this…
Right from the start…
Bringing her hands to her face, Aeris buried her face in her arms and wept quietly… Covering her eyes as tears slipped and slithered between her fingers like the roots of a tree through grassy plains, as a soft sob hiccupped from her throat, the soft sounds muffled against the soft skin of her palms…
But…
I just can't let him go.
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Boo! Sorry everyone! Planned to update this WAY earlier but University term started so… SOBS…
Thank you all for your beautiful reviews! The overall vote out of the 11 for the last chapter I got was…
Option 1: 4
Option 2: 3
Option 1 followed by 2: 3
Undecided: 1
So in the end, settled on majority vote! But… I ended off on a somewhat ambiguous note… :p Don't you just hate me? 1 more chapter to go before this story reaches its finale. Yes… Chapter 6 will be the final chapter… sobs sobs Time passes by so fast… And I've grown really fond of this story…
Will be working hard on "Silver & Silent" after I finish this fic, it's a Sephiroth centric fic that I'm pretty fond of. :P But unfortunately, I find the most challenging to write… It will finish off at 6 chapters too… The drafts are all done, I just have problems trying to write it out in the way I see how it's suppose to come out… scratches head
I have an idea for my next fanfiction…Inspired by Beeria! So kudos to Beeria! This time it'll be a Yuffie X Vincent fic! Think I'll call it "Voice of Submission"… Ha ha… I'll just have to see how things go… :P
So til next chapter, Cheerio!
Shouts To!
Ghost in the Mirror: Nice to see you again! Darn… Wanted to update this sooner but it was pretty funny cause I was like typing out option 1 and 2 respectively and then after tallying the votes I was like "Oh… CRAP. The story doesn't flow!" So had to rewrite, edit, shift around certain scenes until Voila! So sorry for the wait…
Blade: Hey hey!
asga: Ha ha… Don't worry… Next chapter should be pretty climatic:P
firegoddess372: Thanks! Keep reading k?
Oddishness: I LOVE the kitten idea! Couldn't use it in this chapter though… Only wish I'd thought of it… And don't worry about it! I love uber-long reviews!
samuraix: Wow… Trust me… I'm really surprised to see you here again at chapter 3! Most anonymous reviewers from my experience usually only write one review and disappear… So thank you for making the effort!
Beeria: That was a good idea actually… :p Nonetheless, your idea inspired me to base my next story on Yuffie X Vincent! So thankies to you!
Stormless: Ha ha… No worries about drama here! Trust me! There'll be plenty more in the upcoming chapter! I may not have started with option 2 but it'll come out in time:P Yes… After the voting I've decided that I can't let down all the peeps who voted for option 2:P
Padfoot212: Wa… That predictable huh? scratches head Darn… I was hoping to shock the pants off my readers… XD
Foi: Well… I wanted to try a new approach to looking at Aeris, the stories that I've read so far Aeris is usually portrayed as this 'perfect vision'. So I thought… "Why not?" Though… After I was done… I was like thinking, "What have I done?" XD
Videl Warrior Princess: Well… You can always write out your version? I think I read something like that before in one of the Kingdom Hearts fanfics before… No offence…
Lexmarker: My mind is twisted beyond redemption as of now… :p When I first started writing this fic I was like "BOY am I gonna get A LOT of hate reviews from the Aeris fans…"