A/N: Please read this note, would you kindly? It has some important information.

First, Reading reviews, ideas, hell, even suggestions in the comments helps keep my spirits strong. Every bit of feedback helps, large or small! So speak up! Your words matter! Second, Timeskip ahoy once more! This is more of a reflective chapter, but still a lot happens. Third, I've been updating DAILY for while now, and its starting to wear on me, but I'm doing my best..despite life throwing me curveballs...

Now then, its time for the usual questions! Three should do this time.

Q: Hey, I'm getting Dracula -before he went crazy- vibes from this Naruto! Is that intentional?

A: Very much so. Naruto's still himself, but eternal youth has made him older and wiser. He's had time to see and study and learn things...

...but woe to ye if you touch his family.

Q: Ozma ain't going down without a fight, is he?

A: Nor are the Gods.

Q: Please tell me you've seen the Loki series. You know what to do with a certain character. DO IT.

She would fit in perfectly here!

A: *Sigh* As you command.

Q: Wait, hold up! Just how petty is the God of Light?! I have a bad feeling about this?!

A: Read and see.

Q: We're creeping toward chaos, aren't we?

A: Ayup. Short answers all around here, really want to get into the meat of the chapter this time.

Allllllrighty, then! I've kept you long enough.

As ever I own no references, quotes, themes or memes!

Buckle up, because this chapter...well...I'll let it speak for itself.

"Everything has to end sometime, otherwise nothing would ever get started.

Yeah. Things end, that's all. Everything ends and...well, its always sad.

But everything begins again too, and that's always happy.

Be happy. I'll look after everything else."

"I don't understand. Who are you?"

"You already know my name."

~The Future.

Kiss of Knowledge

If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day.

But if you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.

Truer words have never been spoken. You see, its not simply the giving of something that makes our lives better, its in the teaching. Masters teach their students. Students pass on those lessons to their children and those children teach their children after them. All because one kind soul taught another how to catch a fish. Or in this case...?

"Again."

Naruto clasped both hands behind his back as he gazed upon the ranks before him. The students before him moved as one unit, one mind, one body...at least they should have. In theory. It was a very nice theory, sound in thought...not so with practice. In reality, they were a motley crew. Men and women tripped over one another. Children fumbled with weapon that were too large for them. Some -his!- did better than others, but they were few and far between.

"No, no, no." he pinched the brow of his nose and shook his head to stifle a sigh. "That's not it at all! You're doing it all wrong."

With a snap of his fingers, he summoned his staff.

"See this?" he cut down, splitting the ground before him in a single seamless movement, "Your weapon is your life. It is more than a mere tool; its an extension of your body. Don't just swing it around! Follow through with each strike."

Dozens of dirty faces watched him, human and Faunus alike, awaiting his instruction.

Not a single one questioned him.

Naruto grinned. "Again!"

Go to Menagerie, Salem said. Train the people there, she said. Bah! Bullshit, he said! What did it matter that she was only a portal away? He still didn't like this. If someone had told him he'd be teaching young men and women how to swing a sword -when he'd never touched one in his life!- he would have scoffed. Had someone informed him that his children would be among said students? He'd have fainted dead away. Even now he found some irony in it.

Yet here he was.

Blue eyes trailed across the yard, searching for any promising candidates among them. There were a few diamonds in the rough, though not many. His gaze alighted upon one in particular, a pale man with a bristly red beard and flowing hair to match. He conducted himself well enough; his movements were clean and crisp, while he showed no fear.

"You there." a clawed finger stabbed out at him. "What do you call yourself?"

"M'name isn't important, seeing as I don't have one." The man lowered his weapon with a grin, revealing a faint accent as he spoke. It was oddly endearing from such as scruffy individual. "My mother called me "boy" and m'father...well." he chortled softly. "More colorful words were used, but never a name."

A blond brow quirked. "Then what do I call you?"

"Godbrand, your lordship. Finest warrior this side of Menagerie." he bowed low and deep at the waist. "I've come to offer my services for your glorious army in the war to come."

Naruto sniffed once. "You're mortal."

"Aye," the surly redhead granted him grin, "But I hear tell your daughters can change that...

Oh. So he was one of those, then. Another foolhardy soul seeking the sweet succor of immortality offered by Alcina and several of her sisters. But it wasn't, not really. Not like the sort he and Salem held. They could walk in daylight as they pleased. They felt no hunger for blood, nor weakness for fire. But their children...well. Striga and Carmilla had never complained about it, yet the fact remained.

"You do realize there is...a cost."

"Way I see it, nothing in life comes without sacrifice." Godbrand shouldered his sword. "I'm ready. Tell me what I have to do."

Kurama offered the vulpine equivalent of a shrug. "Its his funeral."

"Speak with Lenore." Naruto turned with a flare of his cloak. "She'll decide whether or not you're worthy."

"Not the big one?"

Naruto chortled softly. "Alcina...isn't very keen on men. She'd probably skewer you as soon as look at you." He saw one of his students stumble in his peripheral vision and stifled a sigh. "Use your wrists, damnit!"

Godbrand took that as the excuse it was, and left him to his thoughts.

The people of Remnant were weak; not only in that they had few ways to protect themselves, but in spirit as well. Magic seemed to be a gift reserved for those of Salem's bloodline and the rare Faunus -those born of the Grimm with masks removed- for the time being now. Likewise, Chakra was something he refused to teach anyone outside of the family. Misusing either had the potential to blow up in their faces. Only a score of Faunus had shown the aptitude for Magic as of yet. They too, would need to be watched.

In time, they might well outnumber the humans. Wouldn't do for them to go getting ideas.

He could see why they would. Physically speaking, a Faunus was better than a human. They were stronger, faster, their senses sharper. Many were born with gifts humans couldn't hope to have. Someone would need to keep an eye on them in the future. He couldn't give the common folk the gift of chakra -not without an awful lot of sleeping around, which wasn't about to happen!- but he could impart to them what he could. Fighting styles, forms, of which he'd seen more than a few. Another group over there was drilling with a staff under the watchful eye of Esdeath.

As he looked on, she ruthlessly corrected a young man and pushed him into the rest. He went, stammering and blushing.

She caught him staring and grinned back at him like the young woman she was.

Warmed his heart that did. Why not teach them to be better-

"My lord!"

Naruto slapped his forehead. "Everyone wants a piece of me today...

He craned his neck and saw two guards helmeted guards approaching, shepherding a dark-skinned youth between them.

The immortal took one look at the child, trying not to wince. This boy was a wreck in every sense of the word, his clothes little more than pale rags, body terribly thin, scalp bald and shaved. He looked looked like he hadn't seen a good meal in weeks, nor a bath in months. There might be skin under all that dirt. Might. If you scrubbed really hard. Good lord, the smell...!

Marshaling his thoughts, he turned his gaze upon the guards. "Found a friend, have you? Don't be shy, bring him over."

"Aye." the taller of the pair saluted sharply. "Caught him trying to steal one of your horses, we did."

...I see." That was a whipping at best, but this was a child. Why would a boy want a horse? You need a ship to get off Menagerie, or barring that, a portal conjured by Salem herself. It also begged another question.

"Why bring him to me?" he frowned. "Pretty sure children are Wienne's purview...

One of them gave the lad a nudge. "Show him, son. Hop to it."

The boy tucked his chin into his chest and didn't budge.

Kurama made a noise of discontent.

"Poor boy. He's terrified."

"He's a strange one." the other guard sighed. "One of the beasts kicked him dead in the chest and he just shrugged it off like it was nothing. Wasn't even hurt. Never seen the like." there was an almost reverential note in his voice, one he didn't like at all. "It was a sight to see. Thought we should bring him to you."

"Did you now?" Naruto unbent enough to crouch down before the dirty child. "How kind."

The little lad quivered where he stood, but didn't utter a word.

One of the men flinched. "He's just a boy, sire...

Ice blue eyes flitted back to the soldiers.

Naruto couldn't quite hide his smile as he regarded them. This. This was exactly what he wanted to see in the ranks of his allies. It wasn't enough for him to be a beacon of mercy; they had to learn to show compassion on their own. And this? Yes, this was a fine start.

He stood with an effort and clapped the nearest sentry on the shoulder. "Amitola, was it? And Wukong?"

Reluctantly, the two Faunus nodded.

"You showed kindness today instead of cruelty. I believe you both deserve a promotion." There could be no denying the hopeful looks they exchanged with those words. "Report to Morrigan first thing tomorrow morning; she'll see to it. For now, You've done well, both of you. Leave us."

Little did he know how far that simple action would extend. Their descendants would be the stuff of legends, warriors and assassins alike, loyal vassals of their Family. Naturally, he didn't know that. For now they did as they were bade, leaving him to cast a rueful look at the would-be horse thief.

"Now, what are we going to do with you?"

When the child refused to answer, he could only sigh.

"Fine. Be that way. Don't suppose food would loosen your tongue?"

The boy still refused look at him, but his shoulders twitched just so. "Food?"

Aha! He speaks!

"You'll have plenty to eat in the kitchens once we're done here." Naruto dropped down to his haunches again, putting himself on the same level as the recalcitrant boy. "But first, I have a few questions for you." Do you have any family?"

The dark-skinned boy shook shook his head.

"Fair enough." he allowed it. "You can be part of mine, then. What's your name?"

At last, the youth raised his gaze.

"Isaac." bright eyes held his. "My name...is Isaac."

There was something about that name. It shivered through the air like a promise. A warning. Naruto swore to remember it as he climbed to his feet. The guards had mentioned this one had a talent. Perhaps Salem would like to meet him. It was so easy to fall back into the roll of a father that he just couldn't help himself.

"A good name." he tapped the boy's forehead once. "Don't suppose you have a surname?"

Another shake of the head. "No. Just...just Isaac."

"We'll give you one in time, don't you worry." He laid a hand on the boy's back, frowned as he felt the injuries scars there. They were fresh. This boy had been caught and whipped before. "Come along. Lets get those wounds looked at, then we'll get you something to eat." he sniffed once, smiling. "And perhaps a bath."

Isaac didn't resist and allowed himself to be led. He almost seemed resigned to his fate.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, neither speaking a word. Faunus and human alike bowed to him in the markets as they passed, and Naruto returned their greetings with halfhearted waves. He was feared as much as worshiped in these parts. It was something of a humbling notion, even now.

"You're him, aren't you?" Isaac said at last." The Dark Lord. King of the Grimm."

Kurama snorted. "Really?"

Naruto was less subtle in his laughter.

"Dark Lord?" A great guffaw burst out of him. "King of the Grimm? Now, who told you that?"

"They talk about you in the streets." the boy rambled on. "They say you're going to slaughter all the bad humans and create peace."

"I'll do no such thing." Naruto huffed. "My wife may want to do that sometimes, but I like to think I keep her in check. Salem's a good person."

"The Belladona says otherwise." Isaac interjected.

"Ah, you mean Diana Belladona." blue eyes flickered red for a moment at the mention of Menagerie's current chieftain. "And I may need to have a word with her myself." he stepped around a food stall, smiling as an aging man offered him a pair of steamed buns. "Thanks. I'll pay you back tomorrow."

Isaac barely spared the food a glance. "She claims to know you very well."

Naruto's wince became a touch more pronounced. One time. You help a young woman one time, teach her a few things, set her up in a position of power, and she falls head over heels for you. He was beginning to think it was something of a recurring theme here. Didn't help that Salem all but encouraged her efforts, if only because she wanted to see what a child of theirs would look like.

"And how would a human boy know this?" he turned a bemused look on Isaac.

"I hear things." no shame, this one. "No one pays attention to a child." then it was his turn to wince. "Not much, anyway. Some call you a monster. Others a god."

Naruto nearly missed a step, but caught himself before it could show. "Do I look like a monster to you, Isaac?"

Dull eyes gazed up at him for a long moment. Too long.

"I think you're a very dangerous man." he said at last. "I would not wish to be your enemy."

...fair enough."

On a whim, Naruto decided to grant him a small act of kindness. He offered his food to the boy, only to laugh as Isaac all but ripped it from his hands and crammed it into his mouth. Poor kid. He ate so quickly he nearly choked. Pity swelled in his heart. He knew what it was like to be nothing. The other bun came and went, devoured in an instant by the poor wretch.

Another whim came and went.

"Would you like to here a story, Isaac?"

The boy regarded him warily. "What kind of story?"

Naruto grinned. "Well you see, its a story of a boy who once had nothing...

He guided the boy to the main camp, chatting all the while. Salem was right; he'd been at this for too long. Perhaps it was time for a break...

(.0.0.0.)

Salem considered the letter she'd received.

Her lips quirked in the faintest smile.

"I suppose a visit is in order...

(.0.0.0.)

...you're mocking me, aren't you?"

Morning had come, leaving Naruto to consider the Relic sprawled out on his desk with a weather eye. Knowledge. That was what it said on the tin. But what kind of knowledge? And how to use it? He'd brought it with him to Menagerie, hoping he might unlock its secrets. No such long. It had the potential to solve all their problems at once -assuming the gods hadn't booby trapped it- yet even now its silence confounded him.

He gave the relic an aggravated shake to no avail, it remained still.

"Ugh, I'm gonna need some gin after this. Well?" he cast a bemused look at the tyke sitting in his lap. "Whaddya think, kiddo?"

Sylvie giggled and clapped her hands. Like any three-year-old, she repeated his words. "Gin, gin!"

With a musical chime, the lamp sprang to life on his desk.

"Oi!" Naruto burst to his feet with a yelp, sweeping his daughter into both arms as he went. All around the two of them, time slowed a to a crawl. Flung papers hung in the air as though suspended on invisible wires. An ink pot had been knocked askew, but its ebony contents never reached the floor. Blue smoke poured form the crystalline surface of the mighty relic and he leaped back, fearing the worst.

Slyvie cooed at the sight. "Pretty!"

In the end, his fears were for naught. Soon enough said smoke resolved itself into the splendid shape of an azure woman, one wreathed in golden chains and little else. Her eyes remained closed as she tilted her head at father and daughter alike and He was suddenly ant intensely grateful Salem wasn't in the room. She would've wanted her in the harem, no two ways about it. Not that he had a harem or even wanted one, of course. Nope! Not happening! He was a one woman man, thank you very much!

"Ahn~!" she stretched with a languid sigh. "Finally!" she turned to face him. "Tell me, what knowledge do you seek?"

Naruto's jaw clicked open.

"I am Jinn, a being created by the God of Light to aid humanity in its pursuit of knowledge." Her arms came down from behind her head, swaying loosely at her sides as she regarded them. "I've been graced with the ability to answer three questions every one hundred years."

In a flash, Naruto understood.

Gin. It sounded so much like Jinn that she'd mistaken it for her name. Really, what were the chances of it all? Slim to none? Dynasties had been built on far less. And she'd summoned by a toddler. It was all he could do not to laugh.

"Three? He managed around a dumbfounded smile. "That's generous."

Jinn's eyes narrowed upon him.

"I know your face." that once gentle voice suddenly gained an edge, sharp enough to cut with words alone. "You are the one who wounded my master."

"Guilty as charged." he bowed.

"Guilty indeed." her brow furrowed. "Even after all this time, he has yet to fully recover, thanks to you."

"Nearly forgot about that. Naruto felt his shoulders slump. "He's a spiteful bastard. Knowing him, he probably forbade you from answering any questions Salem or I ask."

"He did not."

"Damnit, I thought as much-excuse me?"

When he turned his gaze back to Jinn, she did not look much pleased. Indeed, she looked as though she'd bitten into a lemon.

"I am to answer any questions asked of me," she all but ground out. "None can be denied, so long as they do not pertain to the future. Such is the decree of the gods."

Naruto blinked three times. His brain rebooted. "And the God of Light didn't think to, I dunno, block me?"

"I cannot speak to why." Here her expression became truly pinched. "Perhaps he did not think you would get this far." slim shoulders shifted in a shrug. "Perhaps he used too much of his power to create the relics; to stop you and your brood for overrunning the earth."

"Then he's doubly an idiot for underestimating us and not admitting when he's wrong." Naruto countered with a frown of his own. "But it sounds like you've got a bone to pick with me, so I'll bite." he shifted his cooing daughter onto one him and glowered at the genie. "Out with it."

"Very well." Jinn met his frown with a scowl. "You upset the natural order. Pervert the balance with your abominations. You should be pruned." her gaze shifted to the child in his arms. "All of you."

Sylvie whimpered in Naruto arms, not quite comprehending the words, but understanding their intent all the same. A spark of anger ignited in his chest. Said spark became a flame as he gazed down at the "terminal" of the gods even now hovering before them. Jinn did not apologize for her words. She didn't say anything at all.

Naruto dropped to his haunches and set his youngest down.

In the same moment he crossed his hands, creating a shadow clone, one that swept her up thrice as quickly.

"Sweetie, why don't you go play outside with Loki?" He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "Daddy's got a bit of business to take care of." another kiss, quieting her cries. "I'll be by in a bit. Run along now." He gave his copy a quick nudge for good measure. "Daddy loves you."

The door clicked shut behind them.

"Right." Naruto counted to ten, blew out a short, sharp breath and turned to face Jinn. "That was a mistake."

The ethereal being shifted back, sprawling out on a cloud of unseen air. "And whatever makes you say that, usurper?"

"Because now you've made me angry." his body began to shimmer with a faint golden sheen. "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

Jinn drifted just a little further back. "You will not harm me."

Naruto stepped forward, his silence proven telling.

She recoiled. "You cannot harm me!"

"You said it yourself." he shrugged. "You can't know the future."

That once smug smile became decidedly less certain in the face of his bland expression. "I cannot...

"Bingo." A slow, satisfied smile spread across his whiskered visage. "Meaning you have no idea what I'm going to do next."

She recoiled. "You need me!"

"For now." he agreed. "But that can change." Not missing a beat, he fired off his first question. "Where are other three relics and how do they function?"

"That is two questions."

His eyes flashed. "Best make it one...while I'm still in a good mood."

"You dare threaten an emissary of the gods?" Here at last, her composure cracked as she crossed both arms before her bosom "Listen to me, blast you!"

"No." he pursed his lips. "I don't think I will. Answer my questions, then get gone.

"I am talking you wretched little-

Naruto slammed to his feet. "AND I'M NOT LISTENING!"

In a single seamless movement he reached up and grabbed her by the chains, reeling her in.

Jinn gasped and tried to retreat, but it was already too late.

"The funny thing is, in any other circumstance, you might've had a point there. But y'see, there's a problem with everything you think you know about me." a finger rose. "I beat a goddess once." A second joined it. "I handed YOUR boss his ass on a silver platter, I kill all my enemies equally, and there's no one alive on this wretched little mud-hole of a planet who can beat me. So in other words, Jinn?" a vicious yank hauled her forward, smashing her forehead against his. "Sit your fat blue ass down and start talking now. Unless you'd rather have a chat with Salem. Because this?

He bared his teeth at her.

"THIS IS ME BEING NICE."

"Now ask yourself this." Naruto leaned forward, unable to tower over her, such was her height, but his presence loomed all the same. "If I could do all that to your Master...

Blue eyes bled the darkest of red.

He tugged her closer still, close enough to kill.

"What's stopping me from doing the same thing to you?"

(.0.0.0.)

"You wonderful man!"

Say what you wold about Naruto, but he had a flair for the dramatic.

Salem certainly thought so! Scarce had her husband begun to regale her with his tale than she was moving, flying out of a well-placed portal. Her body hit his at speed and her arms circled his neck, leaving her hanging there. He laughed and caught her in good time, crashing back against the bed.

"Tell me everything."

And so he did.

"Jinn said the staff is buried under a mountain in the north." his brow furrowed, no doubt bridling at the knowledge crammed into his head. "The crown is under the sea, trapped in the belly of a beast. And the sword...she was vague about that one. Something about it being outside of space and time. Each were guarded by something."

Her head butted up against his chest as she pushed him back to the bed. "You did not think to ask what?"

"Didn't wanna waste another question." his hands came around her waist. "Whatever it is, we can handle it. Just the two of us."

"Hmm." she hummed. Like old times." Her hand trailed a bit lower, tugging at his pants. "I believe you deserve a reward...

"Salem, no." he batted her palm away when she began to tug. "We'll wake everyone-

"Its been three months!" Red eyes flashed in the dark. "Salem, yes!"

She dove on him and he fell with a laugh.

"Alright, alright! Ow! Don't bite!"

A/N: We're so close now!

Right then, as ever, Reviews are love, Reviews are Life. Reviews keep me writing.

That's no joke. Without them, I just can't seem to write these days.

So in the immortal words of Atlas...

...review, Would You Kindly?

Every bit helps out!

As ever:

SPOILER! SPOILER! SPOILER!

PLOT DETAILS AHOY!

YE BE WARNED!

(Previews)

"Hey, boss, I...

There was a little white-haired girl sitting on Naruto's lap. Striking blue eyes blinked back at him, framed by pale horns and a frown.

Naruto hummed. "Say hello, Kanna."

...Hello."

Godbrand flung up his arms. "How many damn children are you and that horny witch going to have?!"

"See, you're asking the wrong question...

All that attitude, all that lip, because all this time, you think you're not worth it. Shouting at the world, but no one's listening. Well, why should they? You have to give them a reason.

He pressed a bit of bread into their hands.

The peace didn't last of course. It was inevitable.

"They are false gods!" Ozma flung up his arms, startling the crowd. "Listen not to their words!"

Salem snarled. "Says the false prophet!"

"The faunus should rule!"

Naruto swatted the surly child on the wrist. "None of that!"

"But daaaaaddy!"

"No buts!"

Life isn't about the destination; no, its the journey. Our lives are full of twists and turns, ups and downs, but those moments make us who we are.

"Such a strange era this is."

"Really, I find it almost quaint."

"Really I don't know why you bother with them. You're too kind. Its a weakness. Why teach them at all?"

Aaaaaand there was another remnant of his misspent youth.

"Carmilla. No. Bad girl."

"But father! They're livestock!" she turned and stormed away, leaving him to trail after her. "We deserve to rule over them!" a pale arm cast out to the kingdom below. "We're gods! Our ambition should be all that matters! This world belongs to us! Because the likes of them never know what to do with it!"

Naruto sighed.

"You certainly have your mother's temper.

Naruto blinked. "...wanna run that by me again, Eri?"

Salem perked up. "Grandbabies?"

~Nz.