A/N: Don't mind me, writing this while hungover.

Still, here we are, a New years update! May your new year be a good one!

As ever, the Embers rule remains for this story. If folks don't like this story, POOF! Away it goes. That's no joke. So by all means, speak up! Every bit of feedback matters here! Truly, it does! Working two jobs keeps me terribly busy. Reading reviews, ideas, hell, even suggestions in the comments helps keep my spirits strong. Without reviews, I can't write. Every bit helps, large or small! So speak up! Your words matter!

Now then, its time for the usual Q&A session:

Q: How are you going to handle the Relic spirits? We know about Ambrosius thanks to the latest volume, and we've known Jinn for some time, but what about Choice and Destruction?

A: Well, I had to wing it there, but I hope you'll like it. Its also part of the reason this was so delayed.

Q: How do you update everyday?!

A: Dedication. Commitment. Sheer will. Make no mistake, there are days when I wish I didn't update; weeks when I'm not quite satisfied with a chapter, and the like. It feels like an obligation at times. T_T

Q: When will Naruto and Salem make it to the main timeline?!

A: *grins*

Allllllrighty, then! I've kept you long enough.

As ever I own no references, quotes, themes or memes!

Buckle up, because this chapter...well...I'll let it speak for itself.

"All mortal must die. This much is undoubtedly true.

All living things pass on, sooner or later."

But mortal? He and I? No.

We are monsters.

So speak softly.

~?

Kiss of Apprehension (Interlude II)

The Sword was well-guarded; by an entire tribe at that.

From their vantage point atop a nearby hill, Naruto found he could easily peer into the valley below and those dwelling within. All told, they'd chosen their camp well. He counted at least two dozen campfires with thrice that number teeming around a series of crimson tense. A sheer rock face loomed on every side of the encampment save the front. There, a wrought iron gate loomed, guarded by no less than six sentries. Whoever led these bandits, they'd left nothing to chance.

With proper supplies, one could hold an army off here almost indefinitely. It spoke well to their leadership.

He inhaled deeply, testing the air as his gaze roamed over the rest of the...no, camp didn't feel like the right word. This was a fortress. Further back from the gate he spied a series of stone buildings fashioned with crude chimneys. A spire of white smoke rose from each them to touch the setting sun; an pale stain spreading across already ominous clouds. Rain was coming, and soon. Likely before sunset. That might complicate matters in the future.

"Do you hear that?"

"Yup." he thumbed his chin. "Wind's howling. Probably gonna stor soon.

"No, not that." Salem batted his am down with a pale palm as she stepped up beside him. "Close your eyes and listen for once. The Relic. Can't you sense it?"

"Such a demanding wife I have...

She kissed his cheek. "Flattery won't save you. Close your eyes.

Reluctantly, Naruto complied and stretched his mind out, searching for what she spoke of. The Relics were a force unto themselves; each gave off a unique energy signature that attracted Grimm...and those affected by them. And they were, the both of them, part Grimm now. It was faint, but if one knew what to look for and where, they were quite easy to find.

After all, they'd had plenty of time to practice.

Jinn seethed silently in the lamp dangling from Salem's waist. Hers was easy to ignore; if only because he'd grown used to it already. So where was...

Ah.

There it was.

It trickled into his ears in a mournful melody, a clarion call, a dirge of destruction aching to be unleashed. Like weapon left too long in its sheathe; doing nothing more than collecting dust. He stretched his senses out yet further in search of the source.

Something reached back.

"Come, warrior." A soft, whisper of a voice tickled his mind in a feather's touch. "Come, come, come. Use me. Free me from these fools. Unsheathe me. Please, please, please."

Naruto recoiled as he felt that alien presence touch his psyche. It was a fry cry from the sour note Jinn had left in his head to be sure, but he hadn't expected it all the same.

"Hey!" Kurama bulled to the forefront. "Its crowded enough in here! Two's company! Three's a crowd!"

Salem's hand on his shoulder tugged him back to reality.

"That's definitely the sword." he rasped, rubbing at his aching eyes. "Don't think Creation or Choice would sound quite so...

...eager?" She finished, drawing a curious look from him. "Is it any wonder? Just as the God of Light," her face soured at the mere mention of his name, "Embodied the aspects of Creation and Knowledge, so too did his brother represent Choice as well as Destruction."

His lips thinned in quiet chagrin. "Yeah, but this Relic talked to me...

"Did it?" her eyes flashed with glee. "Then that should make this easier." When he didn't respond, that glee abated somewhat. Salem tilted her head just so. "That's right, you never did meet Darkness, did you?"

"I didn't, no." Light had been more than enough. "What was he like?"

"In a word?" Salem turned back to face the valley below. "He was...childish, I suppose. Quick to trust and quicker still to take offense. Light was all about order and rules, while Darkness seemed to live very much in the present moment...to the exclusion of all else." a cold breezed whipped up from the gorge, drawing a shiver from her. "Anything he created is a force to be reckoned with."

"Well, he was the younger brother, right? That happens. Kids lose their temper."

She scoffed. "That implies that the Gods were children."

"They certain weren't very wise...

"Nor was Ozma, it seems." she gestured to the gorge below, diverting his attention. "If he were smart, he would've sought the Relics out at once and sealed the away. Instead he leaves them out in the open to be found at our leisure."

Her words held a thimble of truth. It bothered him. "Maybe he just didn't have time? We've been killing him left and right. Its a miracle he hasn't gone mad."

Salem embraced him from behind. Her chin came down over his shoulder, holding fast. For a moment she simply held him, and he her, both basking in the warmth of one another.

"Now there's an idea." He didn't like her tone just now; it had him shivering. "We've been going about this all wrong. Killing him accomplishes nothing."

Definitely didn't like where this was going! "Okay...?"

"We should capture him." she crooned. "Take him prisoner, string him up...and break him." though her words were soft, there could be no disguising the snarl within. "Let him return from death all he likes. It won't matter if he reduce him to a gibbering wreck. Just think of it." a palm rose to cup his cheek. "What threat could he possibly be if he can't string a sentence together?"

Naruto wriggled free. "No."

She let him go with a pout. "No...?"

"We're not doing that." he pivoted to face her and took her hands in his. "We're better than him. We can't stoop to his level. We won't."

For an awful moment, he thought Salem might argue the point. At length, her shoulders slumped.

"As you wish." she deflated at the last. "We take him prisoner, then."

Even worse! "And let him near our family?"

Her face closed down. "We could contain him in a secure location...

"For how long?" He bulled forward and pressed his forehead to hers. "Even now, he's powerful. You and I are the only ones capable of containing. Is that what you want?" his thumb stroked her palm. "To spend centuries babysitting a madman?"

"Then what do you propose?"

Naruto took his lip between his teeth and worried it. He'd thought long and hard on his choice. It seemed the lesser of two evils.

"We seal him." he said at last. "In a rock, a jar, or even the earth itself."

A pale brow rose. "You told me you don't know how to seal."

"Then I'll learn."

She stewed for a moment, then turned back to the encampment below. "I don't like this. It feels like a trap.

"Probably." There was a fair number down there. "But is it really a trap if we're aware of it?"

A red eye peeked over her shoulder. "That's twisted logic. A trap is a trap, regardless."

The ghost of a smile touched his face as he tugged her closer. She made a noise of mild amusement and let him. He'd missed these philosophical arguments. They hadn't had time for them with the kids running about. It felt...nice to have a reprieve from them, if only for a short while.

"Now all we have to do is spring it.

He looked past, to the third member of their party, who'd not said a word. Of course they hadn't. One couldn't rightly respond when they were bound and gagged, much less blindfolded. He'd even gone so far as to throw a sack over their head for good measure. Their captive made an angry noises as he stalked over.

"Well?" He gave their hostage a nudge. "Is this it?"

"How am I to know?! Their bagged head tilted. "Can't see."

Naruto rolled his eyes.

Salem tutted. "Do take that thing off the poor girl's head. You're driving her mad."

...fair enough."

With a flick of his wrist the hood came free in a flourish.

"Oh, my heavens! Salem absolutely squealed. "She's adorable!"

Naruto tilted his head nearly ninety degrees.

"Huh. You're right." he hadn't bothered to look at the child before he'd snatched her up. "Cute little thing. What was your name again? Keq-something or other?"

"No!" Their captive whined, to no avail. "Keqing! My name is Keqing!

"Lovely. Now start walking. We've got a sword to...borrow."

With that, they frog-marched her down into the camp.

A/N: Shorter than I'd like, but its bAs ever, the Embers rule remains for this story.

If folks don't like this story, POOF! Away it goes. That's no joke.

So by all means, speak up! Every bit of feedback matters here! Truly, it does! Working two jobs keeps me terribly busy. Reading reviews, ideas, hell, even suggestions in the comments helps keep my spirits strong. Without reviews, I can't write. Every bit helps, large or small! So speak up! Your words matter!

Right then, as ever, Reviews are love, Reviews are Life. Reviews keep me writing.

That's no joke. Without them, I just can't seem to write these days.

So in the immortal words of Atlas...

...review, Would You Kindly?

Every bit helps out!

As ever:

SPOILER! SPOILER! SPOILER!

PLOT DETAILS AHOY!

YE BE WARNED!

(Previews)

His finger wrapped around the hilt. "At last."

Time dragged itself to a craw.

He found himself facing a blue, humanoid creature bearing long flowing sky blue-white hair and prominent blue eyes. Her pupils glowed as though lit from deep within, contrasting the dark lines running across her slim form. Eight spider-like appendages jutted from her back to form what appeared to be a crown on her head. Twin azure horns protruding from the center of that strange tiara; one jutting forth from her forehead and the second emerging from the back of her skull.

"Curious." She tilted her head to regard him. "I had thought the Prophet would find me first."

"And you are...?"

"I have no name, beyond what was given me." she paused, considering. "Calypso. You may address me as such...

EDIT: To clarfiy, her physical appearance, it 001 from Darling in the Franx as the Relic Spirit of Destruction. As she had no name, Calypso was given to her.

Naruto slapped his forehead. "Great. Now there's two of them."

Ozma blinked. "Oh, dear...

"Mom...?"

~Nz.