Title: 逃げる手 - The Hand That Bleeds
Rating: T
Summary: "I don't want to be a Hero. I want to be a Healer. My Quirk is made for healing, like my mom's, not fighting so I train to fight like a Hero to be a Healer. I want to help others to the best of my abilities." Hisoka Matsushita, raised by her mother and who never knew her father, never could quite understand where the path she would eventually take would lead her to.
Current: Followers: 354, Favs: 274, Reviews: 294, Communities: 14, Views: 94512
Disclaimer: I do not own Boku no Hero Academia. Boku no Hero Academia is written and illustrated by Kōhei Horikoshi-sensei. No profit was made in the writing of this fanfic.
Beta: Ana-DaughterofHades
Now To Answer Some Reviews:
Fuck you bich- Say's the one who is anonymous. But, thank you for the review anyway. I hope you like the chapter.
GreyWolfe10- Don't worry! Things will get better... eventually. But Hisoka is a troubled child, who's slowly going off the rocker (you can blame her mother and father's blood for that), who needs a lot of help. Thank you for the review. I hope you like the chapter.
chaosrin- The operation... wasn't a success... Nighteye still ending up dying. He was on his last legs and they had thought Hisoka's Quirk was strong enough, but it wasn't. Not yet anyway. Fumi's injury is indeed a trigger and she's only gotten snippets of it in her dreams as it mixes with everything else. And her mother was never kidnapped and forced to heal All For One. She's currently held up in a mental hospital. but that would have been a wonderful idea if I had thought about it earlier enough though I might be able to do something with it... Hmmm... But trauma can do untold things to you and affect many things about you so maybe you're on the right track here... She'll meet Eri-chan soon enough. ^^ Thank you for the review. I hope you like the chapter.
Hybrid 10- They'll have another date night soon enough but with how things are looking that's going to be a while as school and work come first. That's nice of you to say as well. ^^ Thank you for the review. I hope you like the chapter.
Jarhead- Her Quirk can only heal so much (and I've got big plans for it in the future as with inspiration from the Villain Arc) and it's going to play a much bigger role in the future as Healing Quirks aren't that common in the BNHA universe. Recovery Girl is the only one that's cannon that has some form of healing factor to it. And there are people already looking into her and her family... Thank you for the review. I hope you like the chapter.
Chapter 56
To Eventually
Location: Waiting Area, First Floor of Jikei University Hospital, Nishishinbashi, Minato City Ward, Eastern Tokyo Prefecture, Honshu, Japan
Date: October 5, 20XX
The morning had been a blur for Hisoka, not really thinking about much as her mind was slowly consumed by the increasing guilt. The more demanding the reparations her subconscious had required the worse she knew it was going to be. It was like she was on autopilot all the way up until her arrival at the hospital with Recovery Girl and Aizawa-sensei.
It was cold... Crack...
Recovery Girl took a seat, letting out a huff as she sat back and looked at the TV attached to the wall. Hisoka glanced up at the black-haired teacher before she could catch his eye and ended up looking at the TV that was broadcasting the news blankly. "The incident with the police escort carrying the criminal, Chisaki, was attacked, and was an unprecedented failure," it had begun with. "It has also been confirmed that an important piece of evidence was lost, and the police are currently taking heavy criticism."
The bullets... The thought of them, from what she had been told, made her blood run cold. It was what had been used on Mirio-senpai and why she was even here today. They wanted to see if her Quirk would reverse the effects. They wanted it to work. (She wanted it to work.)
Mirio-senpai had a bright future and they wanted him to succeed.
Heavy ... An unforetold weight.
"Matsushita," Aizawa-sensei spoke, gaining her attention. "You remember what you're here for?"
She nodded. "Yes, Aizawa-sensei." Hisoka nodded towards Recovery Girl, not seeing the concerned look she gave her fellow faculty member, before walking past the two and made her way to the elevator. Each step felt like her body grew heavier as if she was walking through mud. She pressed the up button when she arrived in front of them with a shaky finger, grabbing her wrist to calm herself. It dinged and the metal doors slid slowly open moments later.
It felt harder and harder to press forward.
She pressed the number Mirio-senpai's room was on and watched as the elevator's doors closed with a soft thunk. Her guts had slowly died in the toxicity of gasoline, needing no more than a spark to set it ablaze with dread.
What if she messed up...? What if she became useless...? No! Nonononononononononoshecouldn'tloseanotheroneshehadtodosometh-
Her hand stung as she punched the metal wall, eyes wide as they stared at the ground. Her breath was shaky. She needed to calm down.
Up she went.
"One... Two... Three..."
Location: Room 411, Fourth Floor of Jikei University Hospital, Nishishinbashi, Minato City Ward, Eastern Tokyo Prefecture, Honshu, Japan
Date: October 5, 20XX
Hisoka took a deep breath to try, but failed, to calm her already ransacked nerves as she looked at the door's silver handle of Mirio-senpai's private hospital room, before opening it up. She could only stare in shock at what she saw before her.
"HEYOOOO!" Mirio-senpai, wearing the standard light blue hospital-provided clothes, had his arms pressed against his bandaged lower back and had his legs up in the air, swinging them around as if riding a bicycle, and a large smile was plastered on his face as he continued his strange exercise. "MONIN' UM... What was your name again?"
Hisoka still wasn't sure what she thought of her senpai but that smile... She decided it wasn't for her to know. pushing away every emotion and any other thought that wasn't with today's task, as she answered, "Hisoka Matsushita. I'm Midoriya-san's classmate, Mirio-senpai. What are you doing?"
"GETTING INTO TIP-TOP SHAPE, DAMMIT!"
"I... see..." She blinked once before she continued, "Mirio-senpai, I'm-"
His cycling movements came to a halt as the grin vanished. "I can guess why you're here. I've lost my Quirk and they want to see if you can fix that." He sat up on the bed, crossing his legs as he placed his hands in his lap. She felt his eyes stare at her, searching for something before saying in a simple tone, "No thanks."
"What?" Her eyebrows furrowed down, knitting together as she frowned. "...Why?"
"I don't need it."
"Oh..."
"Yup."
Hisoka watched him, clenching the strap to her bag with her fingers. "Are-are you sure?"
"I am."
"But you don't know if it'll work or not! My Quirk is meant for healing and I could probably heal you up and you could get your Quirk back! I can help! I know I can! You could go back to being the Hero you were meant to! You-"
Shehadtodosomethingorshe'dbeuselessagain!
"I don't need it," he repeated.
She needed to do it though! She had to try! She had to do what she could! She couldn't allow this to continue on! Sheneededtosavehimunlikeshecouldbefore! She could have done it differently if she had just given more! If she had been stronger! If her Quirk had been better! She had to save him! Shecouldhavesavedtheother. He was important! He had a future! Shecouldnot. He could be the Hero that saved them all like All Might! He could still live out his dream! She had to do something! She could still do something in the end... What did was it matter to her if she was still here?
Shecouldn'tsavetheimportantonelasttimeandshewasahealerandifshegaveherallshecould...
She could...
She could...
Di-
"Stop!" Hisoka felt something clench her wrists as she stared into Mirio-senpai's furious eyes. Wide brown eyes traveled from them towards the scalpel in her right hand and the unbandaged left wrist back to his gaze as it softened. There was something wet traveling down her cheek...
What could she have done?
She really didn't understand what had happened after that as Mirio-senpai had grabbed the scalpel from her hand and threw it to the ground before grabbing her and trapping her inside his arms. Brown eyes stared blankly at the ceiling as more trails of wetness ended up traveling down her cheeks. Mirio-senpai's hold tightened.
Why?
She didn't - couldn't - understand why. What was happening? Sheneededtosavehim. Shecouldhavesavedtheother.
"It's okay," Mirio-senpai muttered, voice echoing inside her brain. "Everything... will be okay."
"It's okay... Everything... will be okay," he muttered, voice raspy. His eyes, tired but filled with peaceful hope, seemingly shimmered for a moment but that could have been a trick of the light! Brown eyes slowly widened - what did he mean? - as she was slowly pulled back by Recovery Girl, guided away from his form. No...
She could do something! (Why?)
Her Quirk could help him! (No matter what, it wouldn't change anything.)
She had to. (No.) She had to!
Shehadtoshehadtoshehadtoshehadtoshehadtoshehadtoshehadtoshehadto- (What? Stop.)
"I..."
"It's not your fault."
"I... could have saved him..."
"It was out of your control."
Her arms fell to her sides as she muttered, "But if I had done more..."
Mirio-senpai unwrapped his arms and placed his hands on her shoulders. "You did the best you could have done! If you had given any more you would have put your own life at risk and Nighteye wouldn't have wanted that!"
"I'm supposed to heal through... To be a Hero..." She glanced away, her right arm gripping onto the left like a lifeline. "To heal and save lives..."
"You can't save them all," he said pointedly, voice seemingly commanding her attention causing her to look back straight into his eyes. "Death is a part of life and life is a part of death. Both are intertwined with the path of the Hero and it is something we all share in the end. No one escapes it. Our time on this Earth is limited, so don't waste it by living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by those thoughts or let the noise drown out what truly makes you yourself! Have the courage to follow what's in your heart, what dreams you have, and your own intuition. So, stop crying-" he wiped away one of the tears on her cheek with his thumb "-and just smile already."
She whispered, "But..."
"Nighteye said everything was going to be okay and I trust his foresight. So, trust me on this. Every. Thing. Will. Be. Okay!"
"What if I'm not strong enough to be okay? What if I fall?"
What if it became Red?
"It's okay to not be okay. You won't always be okay. There will be times where you do fall, and it'll be hard to pick up the pieces. You have friends and family that'll help you along the way. So, things will be okay."
"I..." She looked down and let out a sigh before she hunched over a bit as a hand pressed itself on the top of her head. Her hands dropped to her side as she muttered, "How can you be so sure?"
Before she knew it, Mirio-senpai was messing up her hair. "Hey! Stop that!"
He chuckled as he lifted his hand away, giving a snort at the mess he created before his face turned into his usual bright, toothy grin. Now it was going to take forever to get it untangled again! Mornings were bad enough! "Lighten up, kid." Hisoka glared harder, taking a few steps back when she saw his hand rise again as she tried to straighten her hair the best she could. "Things will be okay."
Her glare lightened into a small scowl.
Mirio-senpai simply gave her another chuckle before he looked out the window. Outside stood a tall tree; sunlight filtered through the leaves above, flowing through the gaps like water. It danced around Mirio-senpai, casting a shadow behind him that stretched to be almost on top of her as it connected with the already made shadow of the room Hisoka stood in.
She took a deep breath and asked again, this time a bit louder and firmer (even if her eyes still watered up or if her voice was still shaky), "How can you be so sure that everything will be okay?"
Turning his head around to look at her, the sunlight illuminated all around him as he gave her a large, eyes closed grin. "I just do."
Hisoka let out a sigh of defeat, rubbing her eyes to wipe away the rest of the now dried tears and hopefully to alleviate the soreness she felt from crying. "I see..."
Not missing a beat, he 'suggested', "Now give me a smile!"
The sudden change of tone caught Hisoka off guard. "Eh?"
"Give me a smile!" He put his pointer fingers to the edges of his mouth and pushed them upwards to form a smile, showing off all of his pearly white teeth.
However, just as Hisoka was going to say something, the door slid open to Midoriya-san in his school uniform, green and black hair in a bit of disarray and bandages wrapped around both of his hands, shouting, "Senpai! Are you..." He stopped in surprise when he saw her standing there before giving her a soft smile. "Oh, hello, Hisoka-chan."
"Midoriya-san..." Hisoka nodded in greeting. "I take it you are here to visit Mirio-senpai?"
"Uhhh... Yeah..."
Seeing his face gain a strange look, she glanced back at Mirio-senpai who had changed positions in what seemed to be a millisecond to the cycling position again. "..." Nope. She wasn't dealing with that again. She gave a huff and bent over to pick up her scalpel and placed it back in her bag. Turning on the heel of her left foot, she moved to the door as Midoriya moved out of her way. She nodded to him again before glancing at their senpai doing strange things for whatever reason.
Stopping at the door frame, she mumbled over her shoulder, "I... guess I'll talk to you again..."
She was about to close the door when the other exclaimed, "Wait, Matsushita! One more thing!"
Turning around about halfway, Hisoka asked, "What?"
He gave her another wide grin, teasing this time, causing Hisoka to scowl, her right eye twitch, and in a fit of childishness annoyance she stuck her tongue out at him. She left quickly, slamming the door closed. When she realized what she had done, her cheeks burned.
Location: Hallway, Fourth Floor of Jikei University Hospital, Nishishinbashi, Minato City Ward, Eastern Tokyo Prefecture, Honshu, Japan
Date: October 5, 20XX
Hisoka made her way back to where her teacher was before stopping in the middle of an empty hallway, cheeks still burning from her childish action. She didn't know what had come over her. Well, no matter. It was already done and in the past so now she'd move forward with it and compose herself. Which she needed to do right now!
Looking out the window, she took slow deep breaths and counted to ten, staring upward. Puffy clouds floated without destination or purpose across the vast, ever-expanding blue sky as the bright sun shone between them. It hadn't rained in weeks and everything seemed so bright and happy out there. There were gaps between the clouds, growing and shrinking as they liked to slide over and under one another. The shape of all of them was always changing as hints of colors formed on the clouds creating pictures and designs for the artistic eye.
Pressing a hand to the clear glass window, she wondered if someone was looking down on them. She wondered if others were looking up at the sky, thinking hidden thoughts from the world and people around them or were wishing for changes to happen or desired something they were unable to obtain. That must be happening somewhere, right then and there. Anywhere...
Hisoka let out a sigh.
"It's okay... Everything... will be okay," he muttered, voice raspy. His eyes, tired but filled with peaceful hope...
A frown marred her face. "..."
"How can you be so sure that everything will be okay?"
"I just do."
Shaking her head, Hisoka stepped back from the window, turning to head towards the elevators. Recovery Girl and Aizawa-sensei were surely waiting for her to come back. She let out another sigh, pressing the button to go down, a minuscule of a smile dancing on her lips.
She'll be okay...
Crack…
Eventually...
Location: Common Room, First Floor of Heights Alliance, South Side of U.A. High School Campus, Northern Musutafu, South of Tokyo, Honshu, Japan
Date: October 5, 20XX
Izuku Midoriya, Eijiro Kirishima, Ochaco Uraraka, and Tsuyu Asui all stood at the front entrance, dumbfounded at the stampede of their classmates charging towards their small group after Mineta shouted that they had come back.
"Are you guys alright?!" Ashido shouted in a panic, eyes alight with relief as she reached out for them.
"We saw it all on the news!" Yaoyorozu exclaimed, hands clasped in front of her chest as her downed hair swished behind her as she followed behind Hagakure with Jiro.
Oijiro called out, "Everyone was worried about you guys." He came up from the rear of the group followed by a worried Aoyama and frowning Todoroki.
"You've all been through a lot!" Sero called out.
Sato held up a large plate in his hand of chocolate cake decorated with flowers and berries, offering it to them. "In any case, have some chocolate cake, you guys! It'll make you feel better!"
Kaminari pointed a finger at Midoriya. "You! All of you are always coming back after getting mixed up in some crazy business! You're going to give me grey hair! Grey hair!" Kaminari tugged at his blond hair, showing them the nonexistent grey hair. "I don't want to be an old man yet so quit scaring us, damn it!"
"We're just glad that you're okay," Shouji said as Hagakure threw herself at Tsuyu and Uraraka, pulling and crushing them in a tight hug.
"Everyone!" The almost full group of Class 1-A grew quite as Iida stepped between the two groups, arms waving around. "I know you were all worried but let's all calm down first! You all saw the news, didn't you? So, you know what they went through." He lowered his arms as the class held a variety of looks. "As classmates, we should be sensitive to their feelings and let them rest. It's not just their bodies... Their spirits must be hurting too..."
Midoriya gave a small smile as he looked up at the back of Iida's head. "Iida. Iida," he called out to his bespectacled friend.
Turning sharply, the Class President hummed in question.
"Thank you but..." He gave him a warm smile. "I'm all right."
"Well then..." Iida took a moment to let the feelings sink in before he turned to face them fully and clapped his hands on either of Midoriya's and Uraraka's shoulders. He then pulled them into a tight hug. "I WAS SOOOO WORRIED!" He went on a tangent about his worry as Sato handed them slices of his chocolate cake, shoving a big piece into Midoriya's mouth.
As Yaoyorozu mentioned she'd make some lavender herbal tea to ease their hearts and hurried to the kitchen, Tsuyu glanced around with a slight frown.
Uraraka, after changing her thoughtful and worried gaze to curious one, asked her, "What's wrong?"
"I don't see Hisoka..."
"Didn't she come back earlier today?"
Tokoyami came up beside them, hand stuffed in his pockets as he nodded to them in greeting. "Hisoka's been in her room since she arrived earlier this afternoon. She said she didn't want to be distributed so no one bothered since then so I am sure you can understand our reactions when you arrived home... Glad to see you're both okay, you two," he added. "Welcome home."
Uraraka gave him a big grin. "Thank you, Tokoyami-kun."
"If you don't mind, I think I'm just going to bed..." Tsuyu excused herself from the duo, stepping back as she covered a yawn. When the two said good night, followed by the rest of the class, she made her way to her room to drop off her stuff and change.
She didn't want to be alone tonight...
Location: Hisoka's Room, Fifth Floor of Heights Alliance, South Side of U.A. High School Campus, Northern Musutafu, South of Tokyo, Honshu, Japan
Date: October 5, 20XX
The room was dark when Tsuyu entered after knocking a few times. When there was no answer, she tried the door handle and found it to be unlocked and peaked inside. The curtains were drawn, making it hard to see, but with her Quirk enchanting her vision to see easily in the dark, she could see the blob under the covers on her girlfriend's bed. She closed the door softly behind her and stepped her way around the room as she made a beeline towards the bed, feeling so tired.
"Hisoka..." She mumbled, kneeling down, one knee on the bed as she lifted the blanket. Hisoka was facing the wall but there was plenty of room for her to crawl under the blanket as well. As she laid down and pulled the blanket over her, Hisoka lifted her head and blank brown eyes looked over her shoulder to stare at the green-haired girl silently.
Tsuyu simply smiled at her and lifted up an arm. Hisoka lowered her head back down before shifting around to lay on her other side, coming face to face with Tsuyu. Scooting closer, Tsuyu lowered her arm around Hisoka while the other snuck an arm around her, pulling each other closer together until their faces were inches away from each other.
"Okaeri," Hisoka muttered, snuggling her head under Tsuyu's chin.
"Tadaima..." Tsuyu whispered back as she rubbed her cheek against the top of Hisoka's head.
Both closed their eyes, each of them exhausted but enjoying the other's presence next to them, finally able to get together after so long, as they slowly fell asleep in each other's arms.
Okaeri (Japanese) – Welcome back
Tadaima (Japanese) – I'm home
Author's Note: Yeah, I know it's been awhile since I've updated this story as well. It's better explained in chapter 6 of Wilted Lilac so I'd suggest checking out the story (as a whole and the chapter itself too) if you haven't. Now, you thought you'd all have to wait even longer for this chapter, didn't you?
Well, fear not!
I wanted to get something out before year had ended and I did it just by the comb of my teeth! So, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and also these drawings!
Drawing Time! Drawing Time! Look! Look! I finally did that genderbend image of Hisoka and Tetsuya. It's been so long... I've finally been getting back into the swing of things with drawing and writing and so decided to do some collabs with a very cool person, so I suggest to go and check out her art and profile (the link is in the pictures' profiles). One had been for Halloween and the other way just a fall theme. And! Someone's drawn Tetsuya so cutely! Go check them out! And... New Year's pic... (Just take out the spaces and the links should work.)
Genderbend Link: www._deviantart._com/_nightmarezanez/_art/_BNHA-Genderbend-793185820
Collab 1 Link: www._deviantart._com/_nightmarezanez/_art/_BNHA-Collab-with-StarAmulet-Halloween-Chase-818544757
Collab 2 Link: www._deviantart._com/_nightmarezanez/_art/_BNHA-Collab-with-StarAmulet-Picnic-820849902
New Year's Link: www._deviantart._com/_nightmarezanez/_art/_Hisoka-Matsushita-Happy-New-Year-s-825345794
Please, review. I always love hearing what you have to say.
HAPPY NEW'S YEAR PEOPLE! SEE YOU ALL IN 2020!