I fall to my knees; begging for you not to leave me, to take me with you. I feel the cold asphalt beneath us, the car behind us continuing to burn . "I'll go get help" I hear you whisper with all your strength "No. . . . don't . . . . . leave me" I nod and I watch you take your last breath in my arms. I can't lose you. You're my damsel and I can't save you. I feel your body go limp in my arms and your eyes close. "don't leave me you can't leave me, everybody I have ever really cared about leaves me, not you too." I hold you feeling the warmth that lingers in your body. I whisper "take me with you?" I lean my head down to your chest and hope to hear your heart beat and see you chest rise and fall, but it doesn't. I instantly hate myself for not being able to save you. I couldn't even tell you how much I love you. After everything that has happened I never stopped loving you for a second, deep down I knew that you were the one I was suppose to spend the rest of my life with. I never thought I would lose you. I kiss your lips hoping it's not to late for you to kiss back. Tears of frustration fall from my eyes and run down your cheeks. I beg for you to wake up and kiss them away like you always used to, but you don't. I can't let you go. I won't let you go. I pick you up so I can hug you. Your body lifeless in my arms. As I hold you I whisper into your ear hoping you can hear me "Marissa, I love you- don't leave me, please don't leave me" I continue to hold you hoping that you will wake up. To see your beautiful face light up as you see me; to see you smile; to wipe away your tears once more but I can't. You're gone and the rest of my life will be pointless.

I only close my eyes for a second. As I do something pulls me; as I open my eyes I am standing behind my love. I watch as he holds my lifeless body. "No" I scream as I watch him.

I listen as he begins to beg, "don't leave me you can't leave me, everybody I have ever really cared about leaves me, not you too." I suddenly fell a wave of guilt rush over me. I remember me promising him that I would never leave him. I hear him whisper "take me with you?" as he looks expectantly at my body in his arms. I try to reach out to him but something stops me. I see him lean his head against my chest and watch as he listens for a heat beat. I try to get to him but I can't my whole body feels cold. I see him bend down and kiss my lips. I touch my as they tingle. I feel something run down my cheeks. As I reach up rubbing my cheeks I realise that they are his tears. I want to kiss them away but I can't. I watch as he holds my body to his chest. He whispers into my ear "Marissa, I love you- don't leave me, please don't leave me" I feel my cheeks wet again; but this time they are my tears. I try so hard to get back to him. The harder I try something keeps pulling me back. All I want to tell him is 'I love you.' As I am pulled further away everything fades as I see him on the road, the car is gone the tree's are gone. In that instant I remember the letter I had written to give him at the airport. I reach into my pocket and feel it still there. I scream at him to look in my pocket. I am now sitting in an entirely white room as I watch him reach into my pocket and pull out the note. As he opens it up and begins to read it I see his whole body start to shake with body wracking sobs and I want so badly to hold him. I remember what the note said:

Dear Ryan,

I want you to know that I love you. I have never stopped loving you. I know I promised that I wouldn't leave you but this is something I need to do. I know that you will understand even though it will hurt both of us more than I can imagine. Ryan, my hero; even when I am gone, you would have never lost me, I will always be with you even if you cant feel me. I will never stop loving you with all my heart and I will never let you go. I know we will see each other again. Take care of Summer, Kaitlin and Mom while I am gone. I LOVE YOU!

Ryan inside this little envelope is a cross necklace so you will never forget me. I am wearing a matching one.

All my love forever

Your damsel,

Marissa xxx

I see him open the envelope and pull out the cross placing it around his neck. As he does he look down feeling for mine. His body continues to tremble and I know that until he joins me I will have to watch him hurt from a distance unable to comfort him. I will never be able to kiss away his tears, share laughter and tell him that I love him. I continue to watch him and my heart breaks with ever tear that falls from his eyes. I contemplate; if dying there gets me here, then if I die here would it get me back there?

I see you by the water
Your toes dipped in the sand
I thought that it was over
I thought you'd understand
But the feeling is returning
Though time has made us change
And I understand if you don't
Wanna talk to me about it tonight
Tonight

'Cause I see the light surrounding you
So don't be afraid of something new

Time was overtaking me
And I guess I was confused
They were all inviting me
But I wish I had refused
'Cause I've been there before
And I've seen it all
And I believe in you

And if you never had my heart
I would've never called you back
At the start that night
So I want you to know

That I see the light surrounding you
So don't be afraid of something new
'Cause I see the light surrounding you
So don't be afraid of what you're turning into

Blue-eyed sun shines on me
In the morning
Can't help but feel a little cold
Thinking of you

'Cause I see the light surrounding you
So don't be afraid of something new
'Cause I see the light surrounding you
So don't be afraid of what you're turning into
No, don't be afraid
Don't be afraid
Cos I see the light
Cos I see the light

Evermore: Light Surrounding You