Sheppard target

by Mission Reporter

Chapter 4: Target practice

(Sheppard's POV)

The Fuzzies certainly knew how to get down to business when they said that they were going to make me target practice. They wasted no time in the matter. However, to my indignation, something must have been lost in translation when these Fuzzies used the term 'target practice', or at least my interpretation of this statement.

As promised, they let me loose in the Deathlands, but before they did so, one of them decided to test out his fighting skills on me. He was a big, tall fella, almost as big as our guy Ronon over there. But needless to say, I managed to hold my own against the big fella. It was like David and Goliath, with me being David and the big Fuzzie warrior being Goliath. However, unlike David, I had no slingshot, nor did Goliath have any weapon in his hand, thank god for small mercies. It was going to be a good ol' fashioned fist fight.

The fight started quickly and we traded a couple of blows. Hands, fists and feet were all that we used. I even managed to get in a couple of good kicks at Goliath during the fight. He might be big, but in my definition, like Goliath, he was destined for a fall. Needless to say, despite me taking a couple of hard blows to the head that saw me seeing stars and a few painful knocks to my ribs that knocked the breath out of me, at the end, I managed to kick Goliath hard in the nuts that literally downed the poor fella in a matter of seconds. I shall always remember his bulging cross-eyed look and pursed fish lips on his suddenly pink face when I struck him where it hurt most.

I saw Teyla, Ronon and Rodney looking at me with pride in their faces that I had defeated ol' Goliath in less than five minutes. The Fuzzies you could say less were than impressed by my fighting prowess. I didn't care how I fought, regardless of what dirty tricks I used, it was my life on the line and as long as I didn't kill the guy, my team would be safe.

With their fun and games over, and not turning out the way they expected, the Fuzzies decided to continue with my punishment without delay, leaving me no opportunity whatsoever to concoct up any sort of escape plan.

I was bound hands and feet to a gigantic wooden wheel and set free to cartwheel down a gentle slope towards the center of Blue Slug Forest. The Deathlands had many names I was told, and Blue Slug Forest would be my first point of destination. It wasn't the most pleasant experience, I can tell you that. My lunch felt like it wanted to come up my throat and for a brief moment I was actually glad that I hadn't pigged out as much as Rodney had.

Whatever the case, I knew then that I didn't stand a fighting chance in hell at beating these Fuzzies, let alone last five hours until re-enforcements arrived. Barely five minutes of tumbling saw me arriving at a small clearing in the forest. Several Fuzzie warriors had skillfully guided the giant wheel down the slope towards a towering ancient redwood tree. The wheel came to rest beside that giant tree.

I was positioned upside down and moments later, a tiny Fuzzie of a warrior came forth to take his first putt at lil' ol' me all tied up like a neat little package attached to a wooden wheel ready for target practice. The warrior was barely a kid, probably 13 years old. In his hand, the kid held a bow and arrow that looked like it was unskillfully fashioned from a piece of driftwood. He prepared to take his shot when to my relief Elmo motioned him to wait.

"His friends shall bear witness to his demise for his transgressions."

Oh yippie, as if being a pin cushion to this Fuzzie kid wasn't bad enough. The last thing I needed was to have the rest of my team watch my demise at the hands of a Fuzzie kid. My day was turning out worse and worse. Where was Lady Luck when you needed her, I thought to myself.

The blood was now rushing to my head but I could still clearly make out the forms and hear the sounds of dismay from familiar voices. Telya, Ronon and Rodney were led into the circle of people under the giant redwood tree only to be forcefully restrained from coming any closer. The small boy of a warrior prepared to take his first shot. I cringed at the twang of the string on the bow from a pair of unskilled hands.

The arrow wobbled upwards, hit a branch of a nearby tree at an awkward angle and deflected back towards Ronon. The Satedan's quick reflects caused him to duck and the arrow hit who else but Elmo on the forehead right between his eyes. A second of stunned silence followed. It was a second of disbelief for the entire tribe, but it was a second long enough for Ronon to recognise an opportunity and he seized it.

Grabbing a spear from a stunned warrior, Dex elbowed him hard in the stomach before taking out another six more Fuzzie warriors in the process. But even the great Dex was no match for that one soft spot that he and I shared for Teyla was the next target. Elmo was only bruised by the stray arrow. Apparently the arrow head had dislodged itself on the branch that it hit, and only the arrow's stick had hit him on the forehead. Elmo had one of his warriors bind Rodney while he held a blade against Telya's neck. Ronon had no choice but to stop.

"This unfortunate turn of events bears ill-wind on our tribe," Elmo muttered in an overbearing voice of doom and gloom. "There will be no more target practice for today. We'll beat him up and then I shall take the shot myself."

"NOOO!!!!" Teyla screamed as she tried to break free from Elmo's powerful grip. But the leader of the tribe merely brushed her aside and into the arms of three of his aides who moved to bind her with Rodney.

Motioning to three of the largest men in the tribe, Elmo ordered them to unleash their muscled power onto one unwilling prisoner, namely me. Cold sweat rolled down the side of my cheek and began to flow into the roots of my hair. Being upside down did not help much and my head felt damp as perspiration trickled down the tips of my hair. A multitude of thoughts streaked across my mind like lightning across an open field, searching for that single oak tree hidden in the darkness.

I had to come up of a plan. Despite the odds, despite the lack of hope, despite it all, there had to be a way out of this! Being always the optimist, I wasn't prepared to give up. Not yet! Not now! Think! John, Think! I had to come up with a plan and I had to come up with one soon! Come on John! This is one big mess you've got yourself into. You'd better think your way out of this now or you're going to get whumped. And whumped pretty bad at that!

Did I just say the word 'whumped'? You betcha I did. That was a word I had learnt from one Dr Rodney McKay when he showed me a website of fan fiction writers who loved writing about how their favourite TV heroes got hurt, injured and sometimes left close to death. I was shaken to the core to read such stuff, and I was glad as hell that I wasn't one of these fictional TV characters as I wouldn't have liked to think what they would do to me. But regardless, the word stuck in my mind and so now, I found myself in the predicament where I was about to be seriously whumped.

The three Fuzzy warriors coming up to me didn't look like pretty boys and they sure as hell didn't look like kids bearing harmless wooden clubs either. These three warriors looked resolute and fierce, like they won't miss a blow. And miss a blow they did not. I was beaten up pretty badly. It only took half a dozen or so punches and the cold sweat trickling down the side of my neck had turn to a shade of red before the goon squad was called off.

This time, there was nothing left to keep my lunch in as a result of the hard blows to the stomach. Every part of me burned in agony as knuckles and hard wood had met against soft flesh. But I refused to admit defeat.

I was determined to find an escape route out from my predicament whatever the cost. It was a part of me as was my military training.

However, despite the gushing pain and lost lunch, I still kept a watchful eye on Elmo the Fuzzie leader. I saw him calmly roll up his red sleeve as an aide handed him his weapon. Then the moment of truth was at hand, and Elmo took his aim. I jerked my body hard towards the right, pushing all my weight to one side, hoping to turn the wooden wheel that I was tied to. To my joy, the giant wheel lurched an inch forward and away it took me, cartwheeling once again down the inclined path deeper into Blue Slug forest. But Elmo was no fool, at least not with a bow and arrow. He took aim and fired. I remembered the sharp pain that followed as the arrow found its mark, hitting me squarely in the chest.

-xoOox-

TBC