Disclaimer: I don't own PotC. I do own your soul. Read or I will smoosh it with a one of Will's pet mutant bunnies. They tend to explode. Good luck.

Warning #3: Stuff's gonna happen. You might have trouble using the bathroom and/or picking your belly button after this chapter. Ye Be Warned.

GAH

By CocoaSamurai45

Elizabeth led Jack and a zombie-like Will to the best place in Germananny for finding pirates. That place just happened to be covered in frilly pink stuff and glowing green shoelaces. It was very...interesting in Jack's opinion.

"What kind of pirates do we hope to find here, dear Lizzie?" Jack asked with an amused air. Elizabeth sent him a scathing look that went unnoticed by Jack.

"The kind of pirates you should hope to never meet, Mr. Sparrow," Elizabeth replied waspishly. Jack's eyes widened but he did not press the matter because the matter took offense to being pressed upon and he didn't like pressing matters that didn't need to be pressed.

Will's left eye started twitching when he looked upon the building. He took it as a good sign and took out his frilly pink dress he'd been saving for this very occasion and slipped it on.

Elizabeth's eyes traveled to Will and then rolled to the back of her head before she passed out cold on the ground. A chipmunk came and stole her wallet. Then a couple of bugs- who Elizabeth owed money- cut off her lips and pasted them to a shoe for some strange reason.

Jack watched this going on for some time and then tipped some rum on the ground.

"For my homey," Jack muttered before stepping on Elizabeth's face and entering the strange frilly building.

Will, before going in, bent down and passionately kissed the shoe that had Elizabeth's mouth pasted to it. It tasted strangely of pecan pie.

Jack closed his eyes and entered the building. "I would like to assemble a crew, anyone who thinks they have the proper piratey attributes then he, she, or it, may step forward," Jack said quickly and nervously before opening his eyes. And seeing a very dark, dingy, and crowded room.

'Smells bloody awful in here,' Jack thought and helped a very girly Will step over haphazardly strewn bodies.

"NOOOOO!" Will yelled and snatched his hand out of Jack's.

"Uh...do I want to know what you just yelled about, mate?" Jack asked looking at Will. Will pointed down and Jack was horrified. On Will's frilly pink dress...there was blood.

"Will...are you hit?" Jack choked out and stepped closer. Will shook his head. "No, Elizabeth's from where I stole her gold teeth." Jack grimaced. "Elizabeth...doesn't have gold teeth."

"Oh." Will said and laughed manically, while lightening appeared overhead and a pitchfork flew into his hand.

"Right...you wait outside and I'll do the recruiting. Now."

"Okey-dokey," Will said perkily and skipped off somewhere to mumble incoherent death threats and crazed musings.

"If only I had that hammer..." Jack mused because he liked the word muse.

Looking around all Jack could see were burly types. That usually meant all muscle and no brains. These weren't usually traits Jack looked for in a crew and he certainly wasn't going to start looking for now.

Schooling his face into a primitive scowl, Jack headed into the belly of the beast- er- the large crowd of burly types. Will frolicked amongst some daisies and got run over by a very badass car. The driver's headseemed be shining for some reason.

oOoOooOoOoooOOOo

A/N

Sorry the chapter was so short. I just wanted to stop there and see if anyone has some ideas of pirates they'd like to be apart of Jack's new crew. Just name some personality traits and characteristics you want in a pirate and I'll be happy to make them into Jack's new swabbie-er- shipmate. Just include the profile of your perfect pirate in your review. Easy peasy lemon squeasy.