Quick Author Blurb-

First of all, if you check my bio, you will see that there is a brief description of the story I am going to write after this one is finished. I advise you to at least check it out. It may seem cliche or overdone, which I guess it is, but the way it is written and the spice I add to it make me feel it is quite original.

Okay, I really didn't think I would NEED to mention this, but this story is AU and OOC. I almost never do in character stories. Ever. I only have one non AU fic up and that one is highly OOC. So for those of you who asked why the characters aren't the way they were the way the were in the manga or anime, that is because they aren't supposed to resemble those characters. In a way, yes, I do take themes from the story; the names and dog ears and appearances and whatnot; But other than that, the characters' personalities are really my own. :smiles: But I can't have their bodies! DAMN! Or those adorable dog ears.)

Chapter Eighteen

Shards

He scrubbed hard at the smudges of old food on the shiny white porcelain plates. Though, he did leave some of the harder stains alone, realizing that, after a while, his father had stopped really checking to see if he had cleaned them well enough. Or up to what a demon shit like you should do', quoth the man.

Inu Yasha noticed that the man, as well as holding a great distaste for him, also held a furious hatred for demons in general. A segment on television he had seen from the kitchen while making dinner was on and the man watched it. It was a rather sweet story, one that almost turned Inu Yasha to happy tears. Someone had stuck a whole litter of young cat demons, hardly old enough to walk, inside a pipe of some sort and they had to call in fire fighters and the works to rescue them. They looked very much the way Shippou did when he first found him. Inu Yasha also realized then that he held a great affection for animals, though cats in particular.

Now, the man on the couch was not facing him, so he couldn't see his face, but when he served him his food, he was surprised to see the bitter hatred that simmered in his expression. His eyes were narrowed to slits and his lips were curled in disgust, like seeing those small demons being rescued had completely ruined the man's day. It, of course, had occurred to Inu Yasha that this might be the way that the man's face always looked. Bitter and angry and ugly. He, once again, was very faithful he took after his mom so much. His mom was much prettier than his father. But he didn't really remember what his father looked like when he was younger.

Sighing, he placed the last clean dish in the counter, neatly aligning it with the others. The way he sunlight hit the white dishes and reflected the pink light made the room look lighter and almost pretty. But he knew that once the lights came on, it would be ugly again. He briefly wondered what it would be like if he were blind. If he couldn't see things in his house, would they still hurt him as much? Would they still be as horrible?

He closed his eyes and put his arms in front of him. At first it was exciting, and a bit fun. Unfortunately, even his house wished harm on him, seeing as a minute later, he stubbed his toe. Hissing softly, he stumbled around the floor with his foot in one hand, clenching the damaged toe tightly in his grip.

In his bedroom he threw on a pair of jeans that were cleaner than the pants he had on. Silently, he was thankful that the frayed' look was in, because these pants were far from new. The were a little tight on him, but with his slim brittle body he could wear them without trouble. He threw on a black jacket that had the letters EFI' on them. He didn't know what the letters meant, but he didn't care. It looked fine enough.

Since his mirror lay on his bathroom floor in five hundred little shards, and there was no hope of fixing it, he picked a big piece up and examined his face in the mirror. For the first time, he looked into a mirror and smiled. He actually liked the way the person looking back at him looked. For the first time he saw a different side of himself. A lighter, happier more beautiful side.

He felt like a character in a book. In the beginning the, hero or heroine is faced with problems. Most of the times, they struggle, and they fight to get to where they want to be, and they usually succeed. Then they have the sidekicks, which would be Shippou and Kagome, and the group of friends at school, Sango and Miroku. Everyone had a role. Then, there is the less liked character, the antagonist. He knew damn well who that was. But the thing was, he hadn't defeated him yet. In stories, after the characters defeat the bad guy, it's over, but that was it. He couldn't defeat his father. He couldn't kill him. He couldn't run away. He couldn't keep living like he was either though. He was stuck; most definitely and positively stuck.

He knew that in a couple of years, he would no longer be under the ruling of the law, but there were so many things to worry about after that. How would he go places without a car? How could he afford college? How could he just plain afford groceries? There were so many troubles that life brought even after he got out of the trouble he was in now.

It seemed that life is one big worry after another. First, it's one thing, and after you finally pull yourself out of what's troubling you, you have to face a whole new deck of problems. Of course, as an adult, his father would not be an issue, but still, that in itself was an issue. He knew he was deprived of things normal boys have. Good childhood memories. Memories of family time and smiles and photo album. Of cookie dough and messy kitchens, of baseball games and swimming pools. Anything that was even close to normal. But he had none of these. His life was weird, by all ruling, he lived differently than just about ninety nine point nine percent of the population. Probably more.

When he looked into the mirror, he saw so any different things. With every angle he tilted it, he saw a different piece of himself. With the mirror facing his chin, he saw the awkward dimple he had under his chin where he split it on a fall. His father had shoved him. With another adjustment, he could see the tender flesh where his father had hit him not to long ago. It took on a purple-red hue. He looked into his eye in the mirror. Dimly glowing amber spheres. Eyes that have seen their share of suffering, seen their share of pain. Eyes that look for sunshine.

He tilted it down. He saw his waist; the thin under fed hole of a stomach. He saw his chest; a place where, without clothing, small ribs were visible. He saw his legs, long and slender.

He looked at his hands. Brittle, soft, pale hands; long and bony fingers that came to a point at the end where his talons grew. Hands that Kagome touched and comforted. Clean and lovely hands. Beautiful, flawless, hands.

All of him, good and bad, came together to make one Inu Yasha. To make one body, one person. He liked what he saw.

And he lifted the glass up to his mouth to see his saving grace; his smile.

He dashed down the road that led to his school, heavy backpack flapping behind him with off beat thuds. He hummed a random JPop song to the beat of his gait, because with every foot that landed he let out a small huff of air. Eyeing the approaching woods that distanced him from his school, his carefree smile turned ambitious and he tightened the straps of his backpack and soared over the tree tops.

When at school, he assumed his normal position at the tree on the soccer field. As he looked out, he could see a couple girls running laps. The were probably on the team. He sighed and opened his drawing pad and began to doodle aimlessly. A pair of eyes locked on him from under the tree, and Inu Yasha, drawing away, did not notice the, until the girl cried out, Inu Yasha! He lifted his head quickly in response and looked around for the voice. His ears flickered down and his head followed.

Hi Kagome! he called to her flicking a wrist in her direction.

Come down! she told him.

he asked in a high pitched and slightly whiny tone that resembled an uncooperative three year old.

Because I have to get up early every morning to come see you, so you come down when I say so! she said lightly.

Being forceful today, eh Kagome? he said, putting his book into his bag, and imagining Kagome in a uniform with her hand to er forehead in a solute, looking very serious. The image made him snort a small laugh

Hm, I suppose. I wasn't really supposed to sound rude when I said that though. she said and held a finger to her chin, tapping it twice.

I didn't mean you sounded rude, but you just don't usually yell, so I was just- he erupted, in a frantic tone.

I get it, I get it, Inu Yasha. she said with a tender laugh, Just calm down! she told him with a smile and patted his head inbetween his ears. His face calmed and his once wide eyes closed half way with the touch. She chuckled once again and sat by the trunk of the tree, fixing the pleats in her knee length skirt before she sat down. You're very over reactive, you know? she said softly, while setting her backpack beside her.

I am? he asked. Truth be told, Inu Yasha did not consider himself over reactive at all. In fact, not a lot phased him. He had seen it all, he thought. The thing was though, whenever Kagome seemed to take offense to something, anything at all, he would worry just a little that she would dislike him for it, and apologized, or tried to clear things up.

she chirped.

I'm sorry. he said, arching his eyebrows towards the middle, looking just a bit ashamed.

No, it's cute. she said, waving it off.

Cute?' he thought. That sounded like a compliment! And from Kagome, which made it feel better. Then again, everything seemed better when it was with Kagome. Compliments, food, everything! Time even went faster. He didn't test this, but he was quite sure that time did not pass at a normal rate when he was with her. It was like someone pressed the fast forward button on someone universal control. This, of course, was unfortunate. His cheeks glazed over with a familiar pink color as he stared dumbly at the ground. No one ever complimented him much, but when they did, he took it to heart. He heard a giggle and looked up to see her looking way to face the soccer field.

When at last the first period bell had rung, Inu Yasha and Kagome made their trek to English with Ms Kikyo. She was a friendly teacher and to, as she said, build a bond with the students', she let them use her first name. Inu Yasha sat in his usual desk, a seat away from the other students. He was bridged to them only by Kagome who would look over at him and smile sweetly on occasion. He loved when she did that.

Two hands slammed down on Inu Yasha's desk. Inu Yasha! came a girl's voice demandingly. Guess where you're going after school today!

He looked up at Sango, and half amused, half startled, and he replied Um ... I dunno. he said dumbly.

She smiled and rolled her eyes. she said, stressing the word. You and me, Kagome, and Miroku are going out for pizza because its his birthday!Miroku's birthday? he asked, not quite catching whose birthday it was in the jumble of names.

He's the only other he I mentioned isn't he? Unless it's your birthday. she said and giggled. His cheeks turned a deco pink and he waved his hand.

he muttered.

It's okies Inu Yasha. So, you coming? she asked.

Um ... he hummed. On one hand, he couldn't remember the last time he had pizza. Every once in a while his father would order it, but he would often eat most of it and then throw it away. He had tried grabbing a clean looking piece out of the trash can in the house, but it wasn't that great and it made him feel sick that night. He would have fun surely, and he would be able to be with Kagome, Sango, and Miroku. But, unlike when it was the weekend, and his father was never home, if he was too late coming home on schooldays, he could expect a beating. Hell, he could expect a beating anyways, so to hell with it, he figured. he chirped. I'll come!

Sango jumped in the air an inch or two and clapped her hands twice. Great! I'll go tell Kagome and Miroku you're com-Attention class! Kikyo stood at the front of the class and caught the children's' attention. They soon stopped talking and dispersed to their correct seats. Sango looked around, startled, before she gave a quick wave and a smile to Inu Yasha. Kikyo smiled before beginning the lesson.

At lunch, Inu Yasha sat at his table with Miroku, Sango, and Kagome. Sango and Kagome talked and giggled, obviously very excited about eating pizza with everyone after school. Inu Yasha figured eating wouldn't take so long and he usually didn't get home until around four thirty to five. So he supposed he was safe, he would just have to watch how much time he spent with them.

Inu Yasha! Want some tofu? asked Kagome, handing him a piece of soy sauce covered tofu, impaled by a chop stick. He plucked it off with his claws and popped it into his mouth.

he said as he swallowed it.

You can have the rest. she said and pushed the container towards him.

Thank you. he said grabbing it and smiling shyly.

Why do ya always give your lunch to him? asked Sango.

Cause ... Um, I'm usually not that hungry during the day. My mom makes huge dinners. As you um, might have noticed Inu Yasha. she said as she tapped her chopsticks on the table like she was playing a drum.

As Inu Yasha may have noticed? asked Sango suspiciously.

He came over for dinner once a couple weeks ago. she told Sango.

she said and nodded. So, can anyone else here not stand Ms. Vacco, or is it just me? she asked and leaned forward, greeting the tables nods.

That cow. she heard Miroku say across the table. I hate projects. he scoffed.

Well, you're working with me. she said and smiled. He grinned and blushed as he took a swig of his milk. Miroku and Sango started playing footsies half way through lunch and Inu Yasha and Kagome just sat and watched as Sango and Miroku flirted with each other quite shamelessly.

Authors Notes

(Just a tad emotionlessly.) Hey ... Um, I am really sorry this chapter is short. I feel bad about it. Wait, correction, I actually kind of just feel bad. My dad totally blasted me a day or two ago. He accused me of backstabbing him and gossiping about him. But he wouldn't tell me what I said that was so bad. And he wont talk to me and he's avoiding me. He yelled at me and went to bed. And I just kind of sat on my tree swing and leaked. (I didn't really cry, but my eyes were all drippy and tearing. You know?)

And although I usually take out all my frustration on my writing, I feel really um ... empty and tired and drained. You know that feeling when it seems like someone just sucked all your life through a straw or something. Yeah, I am having one of those weeks. And I failed an English essay. (Got a forty one percent)

He just doesn't get it. Like everything is about ME doing these awful terrible things to him. I mean, if I ever said anything about him that wasn't good it would be because he did something that hurt me and made me angry. But he just ... :sigh: It's hopeless:

Im kind of worried about myself though. But I've been feeling really weird and detached and um ... just not there. And I haven't really been eating anything lately. And I am getting these really weird nervous shivers randomly. I'll just be sitting there and all of a sudden I just pull into a ball and start shaking and crying almost. And in math today I couldn't read the overhead because my eyes were all full of tears. The last time I felt this bad was back in chapter seven or something when he told me he and his girlfriend were getting married. Though I admit that was a tad bit worse. I hardly ate anything for three days. I lost like five pounds, which was kind of cool. All my grades dropped a letter and I got sick a whole lot of times. (I NEVER get sick.)

So what I am getting to is, well, would you guys try and say nice stuff to me and cheer me up a bit? I think that would help. :nods: If my reviewers can't cheer me up then I don't know who can! (hugs everyone) I'm feeling quite icky right now, but I'll get over it. He'll start smiling like the idiot he acts like once his fiancee and her children come over. (I've actually never seen him frown when they are around. They're like the lights of his whole fucking life I swear.)

But just know I am a very happy (Usually) and upbeat person. One guy told me that I was so peppy that he was actually kind of scared. (He said it was oddly refreshing though.) I really cant stay sad for long. The biggest optimist you'll ever meet. I think its going to be harder because I have to live with my father half the time though. Its like this constant reminder of everything that makes me feel really BAD. Like I'm actually the piece of gossiping shit he apparently thinks I am. Crap! You know I swore that I wouldn't let people control my self image. I guess I never really considered the fact that it might be my own dad who would make me feel like that.

Well, um if you wouldn't mind going a little bit easy on me if you have a problem with my story or something that would help. (widdle smile)

Loves to all of you! Thanks for hearing me out. Helps to know someone out there is listening when you rant. (Even if it totally annoys the crap out of the person listening.)

-Inu Kun-