Alexis: Second star on the right and straight on 'til morning (Halloween)

Wednesday 31 October

The thick front door stood implacable before her. It had been two weeks since Alexis's father had turned up at her dorms unannounced, insisted on taking her out for dinner and dropped the bomb that Detective Beckett and her long-lost daughter had moved in with him a week ago. That night he had been eager to have her approval and had even joked to her about it:

'More women in my life, like that's what I need, am I right?' She had been so gobsmacked that all she could do as she reeled inside was play the dutiful daughter, smile and tell him what he clearly wanted to hear:

'Wow, Dad. That's…that's huge. Are you happy?'

'I've loved Beckett for years, you know that. She's the one and to have her living with me, yeah…I'm happy,' he had replied like a soppy schoolboy. He had talked some more but it had been hard to concentrate.

He had asked her to visit soon, to meet this girl, this stranger, who now lives in her home. He had told her a little about her background. He had baulked when she had pointed out that Detective Beckett would not have been much older than her when she had conceived Erin. Once she had said goodnight and promised him that she would try to come home in the next few days, she had sat on the edge of her bed, her head spinning. She had tried to rationalise it. Of course, Beckett wasn't like his other girlfriends, and once they finally started dating it was to be expected that she would eventually move in. But only a few months ago her father had talked about walking away from the Twelfth, from her, for good. And she had been so relieved. He had never seemed to appreciate how hard it was for her to watch him brave potentially dangerous situations every day, ones that he had no need to go into. He had always told her that she was the most important person in his life but his devotion to Beckett and his lack of concern for the risks presented by hanging around a cop undermined his claim somewhat.

As for this girl, she had no idea what to think, what to feel. She had only left home a few weeks ago. It was a huge step and she had felt at ease knowing that home was only a cab ride away, that her sanctuary would be there unchanged and permanent. Now, it had been invaded. As the days had passed, she had found excuse after excuse not to visit: too much studying; too many new clubs to try out; parties she needed to attend. Her father's voice had become more and more disappointed, so much so that she had resorted to communicating by text only, eventually ignoring most of his messages. Although it was true that she was busy, she spent most of her non-studying time ruminating on his unfathomable news.

Angry. That is what she came to feel. She hated feeling this way. It was true too that she was being churlish, that of course her father was acting out of kindness and that this girl, whoever she was, was not to blame. No, this was all Kate Beckett's fault. At first, she had decided that, fine, they can live at her home but she didn't need to have anything to do with them. College was exciting and challenging, and she didn't need to think about them. Gradually, however, curiosity got the better of her. When her father had asked if she would come home for Halloween, she had texted that she would try to pop by.

Now she lingered uncertainly outside her own front door. She had never before paused before going in: her father had always been careful to keep his many dalliances appropriately invisible. She slid the key into the lock silently. The first thing that hit her was laughter, and the warm comforting smell of cinnamon. She crept into the main room. Across the kitchen island and the dining table were strewn cut-out pieces of pumpkin and lumps of stringy orange flesh. An uncarved pumpkin with the top removed rested in the middle of the mess on the table. The jagged simple designs of carving novices, on two enormous bright pumpkins, taunted her from beside the sink. Her father held a third carved one in front of his face and a girl shrieked with laughter as he chased her around the kitchen with his grotesque creation (Alexis immediately recognised as his handiwork) in one hand and a handful of wet pumpkin in the other. Beckett stood beside the counter, one hand on it and the other clutching her side, bent over double, tears running down her cheeks.

She edged towards the chaos. It was the girl who noticed her first. Their eyes met and in that second Alexis saw a girl, a little on the thin side, as nervous of meeting her as she. She came to a halt abruptly in front of the dining table which caused her father, half blinded by the huge squash, to run into her, knocking her sideways so hard that she reached out behind her to grab a chair and missed; her foot then slid on a piece of pumpkin flesh on the floor and she landed on her bum, expelling a winded 'oof'. Immediately Castle dropped the pumpkin on the table and doing a double take towards Alexis bent down beside her. Beckett too immediately stopped laughing and rushed over. Curiously neither of them attempted to help her up.

The loft echoed with the now defunct hilarity.

'Alexis!' Castle was the first to find his voice. 'We didn't know if, er, what time you were coming.' Erin gingerly pulled herself up to a chair and clutched the small of her back. Beckett hovered over her, wringing her hands. Alexis caught a tiny, irritated scowl flash across Erin's face.

Her attention turned to Castle. 'I texted,' she said curtly. She felt speechless. She waited while her father quickly washed his hands at the kitchen sink then pulled her into a tight hug. Limply she wrapped her arms around his back. He frowned at her as he pulled away and held her by her shoulders.

'It's wonderful to see you, Alexis,' he said, tilting his head quizzically. He moved beside her and reached an arm across her shoulder so he could guide her to the table. Erin stood and picked up the lone uncarved pumpkin and held it out to Alexis.

'We scooped it out so it would be ready for you to carve,' she said, her assured voice contradicting the wary look in her eyes. Years of carving pumpkins with her father flashed before her.

'Actually, Erin did all the work,' added Beckett beaming down at her daughter. 'It's good to see you, Alexis. Sorry, we didn't know what time you were coming so we…' she waved her hand over the table.

'I'm too old for pumpkin carving,' Alexis interjected coldly. Beckett looked up sharply as Erin turned and placed the great pumpkin back then shoved her hands in the front pouch of her violet sweatshirt, her shoulders raised into two pointy triangles. Beckett and Erin shared an uneasy glance which made Alexis's stomach jolt. Ignoring her discomfort, she sniffed the air.

'Is something burning?'

'Oh, right!' said Beckett, jerking suddenly to life. 'The pie!'

Everyone coughed as clouds of smoke billowed from the oven as Beckett retrieved a blackened pie. What audacity to use the Tardis-themed oven gloves she had bought her father for Christmas last year, she thought!

'We forgot about it when Castle,' she pointed at him and a sudden yelp of laughter bubbled out of her. Nothing quite like walking in on a joke you weren't part of. In your own home.

'You used the carving pumpkins to make pumpkin pie?' Alexis said, her voice dripping with disdain. 'They're bitter as they're grown quickly so it's better not to use them for pie. Everyone knows that; didn't you know that?' Beckett opened and closed her mouth wordlessly as she gawked at Castle.

'Alexis, can I talk to you for a moment?'

'Sure, Dad,' she said, throwing Beckett a sickly-sweet smile that didn't reach her eyes as she followed her father into his bedroom. As she entered the room the first thing she noticed was a gigantic absence.

'Where's Linus, Dad?'

'Um, he's hibernating. He freaked Kate out so he's currently in storage. We'll find him a new home soon.' She scanned the room. It wasn't the only change. On the bed was a different bed spread, woven in red and gold, South American in style, and a guitar leant against a bedside table. The room now accommodated a tall dresser topped with a vanity mirror and makeup, two deep red unmatching armchairs, adorned with a variety of cushions - one of which suspiciously resembled a cat facing downwards – and a giant Buddha head. By the closet were several unpacked moving boxes. She was about to reply when he spoke again:

'What's going on, Alexis? That was incredibly rude back there.' He sounded offended and something inside her snapped.

'What's going on? Dad, what is going on with you? You've been dating for a few weeks and already she's taking over the place.' She waved her hand around the room.

'She's not-'

'Dad, she's taking advantage of you, of your kindness! She's got this kid and she needs help and she's using you!'

'Alexis Harper Castle, you stop right there before you say something you'll truly, or I will truly regret.' His face was thunderous. Alexis stepped towards him.

'I'm not trying to be mean, Dad,' she said more softly, as she ran a hand through her red hair. 'I'm just worried about you.'

'Oh, really?' His eyes were black. 'So worried that you don't answer my calls, that you don't come home for two whole weeks. After I told you that this was crazy, that this had happened suddenly, that it was a shock to Beckett, and to me, and that we were trying to adapt to a highly sensitive situation?'

Two weeks? Try not telling her for a week. Anger coursed through her. 'You or Gram should have told me. Straight away. What if I had come home to find them here and hadn't known about them?'

'Should? Should? No, Alexis, there's no should in a difficult situation like this.' He paced the foot of the bed. 'Okay so you're upset that I didn't tell you straight away but – as I already told you when we had dinner,' he said, emphasising each word slowly, 'we were trying to help Erin and there was the urgent matter of needing to catch the murderers she had witnessed.' She squirmed inside as his arms waved like a manic conductor. 'And actually, I needed time to think about how I was going to tell you. I specifically told Gram to let me tell you. I couldn't have planned for this.'

'Actually,' she hissed in retaliation, 'that's not true, is it? She's known for twelve years. She could have told you years ago. She deliberately lied to you. Why is she even here? She's just using you.'

He pointed at her, something he had never done; she stood back stunned. 'Kate is the woman I love, and I'm shocked to hear you speak about her like that. As for the adoption, that is none of your business. Sure, I wish she had told me but neither you nor I can judge her for her actions. I didn't bring you up to be this judgemental, Alexis.' Her cheeks burned at the unfamiliar experience of being told off by him.

'You keep saying how hard it is but looks like it's all fun and games to me,' she spat, fury and shame congealing together to form a throbbing lump in her throat.

'Alexis, you know better than that!' He was full of hurt and disappointment and she swallowed at the alarming sight. 'The picture is always bigger than what we see. You haven't seen the hours that Erin spends wandering the apartment at weird times. That Kate has had to go back to work, and she's run ragged splitting her time at work and trying to sort out a new school, and that we've had to interview three different child therapists to find one suitable for her.' He sat down heavily, the mattress sinking beneath him. 'What you didn't see today is the panic attack that Erin had because she saw someone wearing gruesome makeup that looked like they had been shot in the face. And you didn't see how hard Kate had to work to calm her down, especially given that Erin won't let anyone touch her when she's upset. It took ages of Erin scraping at that pumpkin to fully calm down and speak to us. It literally took us hours to get her to laugh.'

Immediately she felt a dullness in her chest at her uncharitable words. 'I didn't know.'

'Because you weren't here. I messaged you and messaged you.' He rubbed a hand through his hair, spent.

'What was I supposed to do, Dad? You just dropped on me that, by the way, you have no say in the fact that two people now live in your home. I'd been gone two minutes,' she said, her chin quivering.

His sighed deeply and patted the bed next to him. She stared hard at him; she wasn't used to being reprimanded like this. 'Please, sweetheart.'

Begrudgingly she sat down beside him, and he pulled her against him. She let her head rest on his shoulder.

'I guess I thought you'd miss me when I went to college,' she said, anger giving way to the sadness beneath. 'It was like I was Peter Pan, walking in to find you happily playing with another family.'

'Honey, you're my family and I have missed you. That will never change, can never change. But you're not Peter Pan: the windows aren't locked, and you don't have to fight pirates,' he said as he tenderly kissed the top of her head. She closed her eyes and let him hug her tighter.

'Alexis, I do understand that I put this on you and that you're angry. I'm sorry, I'm doing the best I can,' he sighed. 'I don't even know what I am to Erin yet; Kate's her mother and even she doesn't know what that means. I'm just trying to help them as they get to know each other,' he said, his neck muscles tense and strained. 'I can't tell you how to feel about Kate, or Erin, and they don't have to be anything to you, but the truth is, they mean something special to me. That doesn't mean they replace you, no one ever could, but they are a part of my life and whether you make them a part of yours or not, that's something you will have to accept.'

They sat together quietly for a few moments. Alexis was the first to move. She felt a little better: it was oddly liberating to argue with her father. She could cognitively understand what he was saying about Beckett, but it had little impact on how pissed off she felt towards her. However, he was right: it was up to her to engage with Erin if she wanted, and she found that she very much did want to. She loved the idea of being a big sister and despite the immediate jealousy she had felt at witnessing her playing with her dad, their argument had brought into focus that it wasn't so much jealousy of Erin per se as fear that her father wouldn't miss her that had upset her so much. She had even imagined that one day he would have more children and strangely the idea had never bothered her – her father's children would be her siblings after all. Although he had said he didn't know what his relationship to her was yet, she could see how committed he was to taking care of Erin, so it felt natural to treat her as she would a genetic sister, if Erin would accept her. The obvious caution that Erin had shown made her stomach turn over in knots; she had no desire to make the girl feel worse.

'Dad,' she said. 'How about I take Erin to get a new pumpkin pie for dinner. I can show her that bakery you like?' His bear hug suggested that he accepted her peace offering.

'That's a great idea, I'll check with Beckett.'

'Do you have to check with her for everyth-' she started but stopped under the force of his glare. Hurt as she had felt, she couldn't ignore what he had said, and she chastised herself for not having given their perspectives due respect. She prided herself on her thoughtfulness, no wonder he had been angry with her.

They walked back to find Beckett and Erin clearing away the mess. She approached Erin and held out her hand. 'Sorry, I didn't introduce myself, I'm Alexis.' Erin hesitated. 'Erin,' she replied, her eventual grip strong.

'How about you and I go and get a new pie, and we can get to know each other without everyone staring at us,' she cajoled, her eyes crinkling warmly. She looked at her father's stern face. 'That is,' she continued, as she turned to Beckett, 'if Detective Beckett thinks it's alright.' Beckett glanced at Castle who gave her a thumbs up.

'Erin, is that okay with you?' Beckett searched Erin's face deeply for something – was she worried about the panic attack her father had mentioned?

'I promise, she'll be fine with me.'

Erin slipped beside her.

'Yeah, I'll be fine, don't worry, Kate.'

xxx

The bakery that Alexis wanted was just a block away. The girls were wrapped up in jackets, beanie hats and scarves to ward off the fall chill. New York was having one of those crisp autumnal days which make the sky sparkle a deeper, brighter blue than any other season, and they squinted in the late afternoon sun. As they reached the bakery Erin came to a stop. She looked the front window up and down, her elbows tucked into her sides with her hands buried into her jacket pockets.

'This is the one?'

'Is there a problem?'

Erin's frame was rigid. 'I…er…yeah. We need to go somewhere else.' She marched on quickly along the sidewalk. Alexis looked up at the bakery bemused and trotted after her.

'Is everything okay?' She reached out and pulled Erin by the shoulder to a stop.

'It's fine, I… I just.' She shuffled from one foot to the other. 'Alexis, we literally just met. How do I know I can trust you?' Grumbling pedestrians snaked around them as they stood face to face in the middle of the sidewalk.

'To be honest, Erin, I'm asking myself the same question. I guess we don't know but I'd like to think we could choose to be friends, or we could choose to be suspicious of each other. I know what I'd like,' she said gently, dipping her head to search her face.

Erin let out a long breath and walked to the wall and leaned her head back against the brick between two shops. 'Look, I've been in care, I've had foster brothers and sisters, and I've had to share rooms with crazy strung-out kids in the children's home,' she said wearily. 'I really like Rick, and he talks about you all the time, which makes me think you're probably okay but…oh Alexis, I'm so tired.' Alexis raised her eyebrows in surprise at this unexpected confession. 'Tired of trusting people who then betray me. But I'm also exhausted of having to be, like you said, suspicious of everyone. I've only been with Kate and Rick three weeks but it's not the same as before. She's my actual birth mother. She wants me to live with her. And he's, like, madly in love with her. They're really great and I want this to work out. I know we just met but...'

'I can tell you that I've never given away a secret in my life.' It seemed the best thing to say to convince Erin that she was on her side.

'Even to you your dad? Kate says you're really close.'

'I've never told him a secret a friend has entrusted in me. I mean,' she said dropping her volume as she joined her against the wall and leaned over to her ear to combat the noise of the street, 'if you tell me you're a CIA agent or something I might have to make an exception.'

Thankfully she quirked her lips upwards and let out a small snort. Erin unwrapped the loose purple and blue patterned scarf from around her neck - Alexis recognised it as one of Beckett's - and toyed with the silken thread before she rewrapped it tightly.

'Go on, what happened at the bakery?'

Erin studied one foot as she scrubbed the other behind her on the wall. 'I stole from there. A whole box of pastries. A couple of months ago, I guess. They might recognise me. I was hungry,' she shrugged.

Castle had said that Erin had shared very little about her ordeal, so it was an encouraging sign that she was confiding in her. She didn't want to mess it up. 'I know a great gelato shop round the corner. If you never stole from there, shall we get one?' she smiled, hoping she conveyed the camaraderie she intended.

Erin smirked. 'I think we're safe, I never stole ice cream.'

Half an hour later they had reached Washington Square and had almost finished their pistachio and white chocolate ice creams, Alexis having copied Erin's suggestion.

They sat down on the top concrete step of the round pool in the north of the park. The water fountain in the centre only cascaded to a height of a metre or so, it being no longer summer, and the water was free of paddling toddlers. Once they had chomped down the final bites of their cones, they rubbed their hands together for warmth.

'So, what do you think, Alexis? About me, about Kate. You were a little weird back at the loft. I don't want to cause any trouble, I promise,' she said as they watched the breeze ripple over the water.

She sighed. 'Honestly, Erin, it isn't you. It's Dad and Detective Beckett. Sure, it was a surprise to learn about you, but it was more of a surprise that Dad and she had moved in together. How much have they told you about their relationship.'

'Not much, really. He shadowed her for a few years.'

'He's loved her since they met, it was obvious to everyone. And she strung him along. Don't get me wrong Beckett is nice and she's been nice to me,' she said, quick to dissuade her of any bad feeling towards her mother whatever the truth may be, 'and I've asked her advice a couple of times but as the years have gone by it's been hard to watch how she has hurt my dad. You said you want to trust people, I guess I feel wary about trusting her.' She thought it wise to avoid discussion of her concern for the danger she presented to Castle.

'You think she'll leave him?'

'I don't know, I hope not.' She wanted to add that she couldn't help worrying that Erin coming along changes things between them; that she had seen how Beckett had looked at Erin when she had fallen, that complete and utter maternal fervour that might over-ride her love for her father. After all, she has a history of hyper-focus and tunnel vision.

Erin picked up a smooth grey pebble that had found its way onto the steps and skimmed it along the water watching the circles blossom.

'If I've learnt anything in my life it's that nothing is permanent, and you have to just appreciate the good things when they're there.' Surely Erin was too young to be saying such a thing. She held herself with a bravado that made it easy to forget what she had been through.

'I'm sorry about your parents.' Erin jumped up and stepped down to the lowest step so that she was facing Alexis, who remained seated, at head height.

'See, Alexis. I would love it if you and I could be different.'

'What do you mean? Different how?'

'Everyone's so sorry for me, sorry about my parents. Everyone wants to know about what it's like to be adopted or to be an orphan. Now everyone is going to ask me what it's like to meet my birth mother.' She paced the circular path and brushed the bottom of one shoe over the water.

'And you don't want to share any of that?'

'It's not that exactly, it's just that everyone asks: at school; at the children's home; Kate. Everyone's so nosy.'

'Do you never talk about this stuff?'

'Kate and Rick got me a therapist. I think I'm supposed to tell them.'

'You don't want to see one?'

'I'll go if it makes her happy,' she mumbled.

'There are things I'd like to have someone to talk to about. Not a friend, not a parent. Like you said, we just met, and we've been thrown together but you can trust me and anything you tell me, I promise I won't tell anyone. Isn't that what sisters do?'

Thoughtfully, Erin sat beside her again. She crossed her arms and leaned forward so that her elbows rested on her knees, and she scrunched over so Alexis couldn't see her face.

'I had no idea what I was going to do next the night of the murders,' she said so quietly that Alexis needed to lean forward to hear her. 'My stuff had all been stolen, that was why I was in the alley that night.' Alexis didn't dare move. 'I can't tell Kate any of this, she'd freak out. She keeps trying to get me to talk about my past. It's not just that it's painful to think about my parents, it's that I don't want Kate to be disappointed. She did everything she could to make me happy. Like, I hate these stupid panic attacks, she gets so worried. I thought once they caught those guys they'd go away but they just happen and I can't stop them. I never had them before, I was fine.'

'It's a big deal what you saw. It's normal that it would have some side-affects. You've had to handle so much on your own.'

'That's what Kate said but I just want it over and done with.' She sat back upright and rubbed her face. 'Whatever, I don't know. Maybe therapy can get them to stop. I just want her to be happy,' she repeated.

'Detective Beckett?' Erin seemed awfully concerned about Beckett's feelings. 'You know, Erin, she's obviously very happy to have you back in her life, isn't that enough?'

'No, you don't get it. She gave me away so I could be happy, so I could have a great life and family. And it was. And. The night I met her, it was instant recognition, I can't tell you how I knew who she was, but I just knew she was my birth mother.' Erin's features took on a faraway look. 'I'd imagined her all my life: I thought about if she would ever reply to the letter you're allowed to send when you're 18; if she had another family, other children; what if she never wanted to meet me? I never really spoke about that to my mom, I didn't want to make her sad, or for her to ever think that she wasn't enough. Why would I be imagining my birth mother when I had the best mom in the world?'

She wasn't sure if Erin was even aware that she was still there.

'And then out of nowhere there she was, in front of me. I can't describe it. I just loved her. There and then. It was like I'd known her all my life.'

It was as if only Alexis and Erin were at the park.

'Can you imagine what's it's like to be so happy to find this person, this person who created you and you'd always wanted to meet her and know her and the only reason you get to live with her is because the people you loved more than anything in the world have died?' It was disturbing that Erin's voice was flat, her voice calm and composed in sharp contrast to the distress she was describing.

There was no suitable response; everything she could think to say felt trite. She had no experience of either adoption or bereavement herself nor amongst her friends; who was she to express empathy? The mêlée of confusion and pain and guilt must be indescribable.

Erin shifted in her seat and inhaled deeply through her nose as if coming out of a trance. 'That's really why I can't talk to Kate about my life. It's like she's invading something that doesn't belong to her, like I'd be betraying my mom somehow. And, well. There are things, recent things, that she's better off not knowing.'

In changing the subject to the recent past, it seemed to Alexis as if Erin was now addressing her rather than the air in front of her. 'Like what? Like about why you ran away?'

'Yeah, stuff like that,' she said. 'It would just upset her, or worse, make her angry. She's always worried about me, about the panic attacks. I don't want her to be upset. After everything that happened with her mom, it's what she deserves,' she said vehemently. 'I see how she laughs when I'm goofing around with your dad, or I'm pleased about something. I'll keep doing that for her.'

'You keep talking about making her happy. What about you? Don't you deserve to be happy?'

'It makes me glad to see her happy, and that's enough.'

The sun had dropped behind the tall Manhattan buildings creating long shadows that stretched across the city. They selected a different bakery and on the way the conversation turned to lighter subjects. They asked each other about their favourite books and movies, and they found themselves bantering good naturedly over the superiority of the movie version of Roald Dahl's Matilda versus the original children's book. Alexis, the purist and daughter of a novelist, favoured the book whilst Erin espoused the merits of the film.

xxx

They were still chatting ten to the dozen when they returned to the loft. A screeching emanated from the office. Alexis placed the box containing the pie on the stairs, and they rushed through the apartment without removing their jackets.

'I'm telling you, Kate, we have a ghost! It's the only explanation!'

'Babe, we do not have a ghost.' Beckett sounded extremely exasperated. Eww, babe, really? Alexis frowned: she would never have pegged Detective Beckett as a user of that moniker.

'But…but… the keyboard,' he spluttered. 'Girls!' he squealed as he spotted them breathless at the office entrance. 'Look at this.' Alexis walked one way around the desk and Erin the other whilst Beckett threw up her hands in disgust and crossed her arms as she leant against a bookshelf shaking her head. They followed his shaking pointed finger at the end of his outstretched arm to the laptop. A Word document was open and the only thing they could see was the letter 'a'. Over and over and over, filling the page.

'What is this, Dad?'

'It's 'a' is what it is. It's seventeen pages of 'a'.' Alexis looked at him with her mouth open and waited for him to explain. 'I was writing, and I had paused to look up something in a thesaurus and then it happened. The letter 'a' started to appear, slowly like the letter was being typed individually. I deleted them. And then it came back.' He looked at each of them in turn, his eyes wide. 'I called out to Beckett, but she didn't hear me, so I ran out to get her and when we came back there it was, all seventeen pages of it. It's like the world's longest scream.' He bit on his fisted knuckles and shook his head in disbelief. 'We have a ghost, 'he whispered as he bent down to put an arm conspiratorially around each of them.

Beckett, meanwhile, pushed herself off the shelf and rolled her eyes and said: 'It's clearly a stuck letter on the keyboard or there's crumbs or something in there.'

'It's a new laptop, isn't it, Dad, and you never let anyone eat near your laptop?' Alexis said, looking innocently at Beckett. Castle nodded vigorously and pointed at Alexis with a look that said: 'She has a point.'

Erin sniggered and patted him on the hand on her shoulder: 'Rick, if it's a ghost it needs to learn the rest of the alphabet.' She bumped fists with Kate as they both sauntered out of the room. Castle looked imploringly at Alexis.

'I believe you, Dad.'

A/N Phew, that was the longest chapter I've ever written to date. I did think about chopping it up but I really wanted to get Alexis with both Castle and Erin in this. It's been pointed out that Alexis is very polarised in fan fiction and is often presented as either saintly or a spoiled brat. My humble attempt with my Alexis is that she can be both (poor Kate!). All 4 characters have complicated psyches and present different sides of themselves to different people, and they are in turn interpreted differently by other characters. That's one of the (many) challenges I've found myself facing with this fic and it's really great writing practice to try to show these different perspectives and their character inconsistences and the subjectivity of the different point of views. I realise as a novice this is going to be clunky, but hopefully it's working on some level.

Remember that people don't always behave well or say the things they should when under duress - it was definitely hard getting into Castle's head here but his reaction did make sense to me even if I really just wanted him to be completely saintly and understanding to Alexis!

So, the next review will be the 100th! Your prize is: knowing you were the 100th reviewer of a fic!

Thanks as ever for showing your support and commitment to this writer's efforts by commenting or following/favouriting.