All's Fair in Love in War
Chapter Thirty Three
Release
The man looked down at him and
stared at him like he was gum stuck to his shoe. This, he knew,
didn't have anything to do with racism. Even though, with his
ears covered, it was still pretty obvious he had at least some demon
blood in him, this matter was more personal than the stereotype that
Inu yasha was presently supporting.
Inu Yasha froze at the contact. The man looked at him angrily, and hatefully, and Inu Yasha couldnít think. He didnít breath or move for a while. He could just feel adrenaline pump through his veins and could literally feel his heart thrashing around inside his chest. He didnít know what to do. The only thing he was aware of was a base instinctual urge that repeated in the back of his head like a tape recording.
'Run! Run! Run!'
And that was exactly what he did.
If he stayed and gave the chocolates back, the man might have called the police, and the last thing a half demon boy needed was a criminal record. By running, he did have the risk of getting caught, which might not be best if he planned to beg for his release later. But amazingly, he got away. He ripped away from the man's grip and tore down the street. The mere fact that he didn't knock someone down was amazing in itself.
His heart was beating so fast in his chest, he felt it knock against his rib cage and it almost hurt, since his ribs had been broken on numerous occasions. He didn't feel the pain in his chest though. He also didn't feel it in his legs, arms, nor any other part of his body. This is how it got when he was so afraid.
Even when his father beat him, he could sometimes phase out from the pain because of the adrenaline. Unfortunately, aside from not feeling the pain, he also could not think straight. He lost sense of direction, and when he came to, he sometimes would forget what had happened before.
After the rush wore off enough, he realized he was running very quickly in the wrong direction. Everything that he had not felt before came back and hit him like a pack of bricks. His legs stung and felt numb because his body was unable to supply ample blood flow to them. His fingers hurt from grasping the box too tightly, he had a sore in his shoulder from the strap of his messenger bag digging into it, and his chest felt like he downed a shot of oil and then swallowed a lit match.
He sat down on a sidewalk and rested. He was in the more urban area at the moment, so he fit right in with the crowds of people, despite the fact that his hat had blown away as he was running. Somehow, no one cared to take notice of the little half breed who was resting on the sidewalk. No one cared.
After regaining his breath, he returned home, tired, his only motivation keeping him from falling asleep on the sidewalk being the fact that he wanted to see Shippou, to make sure he was safe.
He arrive home about an hour and a half later. He felt exhausted after the excursion which had taken him nearly twice as long as he had originally thought. He had stopped for tea with Ms Higurashi and had run mindlessly in the wrong direction for an unknown amount of time. He had needed time to recuperate after the run and then had to backtrack, weary of the angry shop owner from whom he had stolen chocolate.
Finally, and for the first time in his life, he was happy to see his house. He ran the last couple yards and dashed into his room, collapsing on his mattress and immediately feeling relief flush through his body.
Shippou had picked up his scent from outside and was soon perched on top of the window sill. The kitten looked very relieved to see him. He jumped down and landed on his feet clumsily on the mattress. 'Inu Yasha, why are you so late?' he asked.
Inu Yasha lay panting on the bed for a few more seconds before he replied. "I got caught." The boy's eyes widened.
"What happened? Are you okay? Did you still get what you wanted?" the boy threw questions at him mercilessly.
"I'm fine. I just ... freaked out. I cant explain it but ... I wasn't in control of my body. I felt afraid when the shop owner caught me. I just ran. But I was running in the wrong direction. So I had to backtrack after I ... woke up, I guess. " Inu Yasha's breathing had quickly regulated, but the pain in his legs was just continuing to get stronger. He felt sore, but he knew that it would go away over night, so he tried his best to ignore it. Ignoring pain was starting to become a talent he could exercise on a regular basis.
Shippou crawled on top of Inu Yasha's body and started to make a grunting sound that resembled a purr. Even in his human form, he did this and Inu Yasha couldnít help but laugh a little and Shippouís body jiggled around as his chest shook. "What?" he asked.
Inu Yasha just shook his head. "Nothing, nothing." He stroked Shippouís hair and was surprised to find he could find no fuzzy ears.
He sat up immediately, frightened by their sudden disappearance. Shippou looked startled. "What's the matter?" he asked, worried.
Inu Yasha's mouth fell open. "Your ... your ears! Where did they go!" He looked at the boy, wide eyed, for a moment and then a Shippou's face lit up, as if he suddenly remembered something.
"Oh yeah! I can transform fully now!" The boy got off of him and then stood on the bed. He turned around. "See, no tail!" He wagged his rear in front of Inu Yasha and danced a little. Inu Yasha smiled although he didn't feel happy.
"Good for you. Youíre getting older, huh?" He felt nauseous as he watched the only person he knew who understood what it was like to look different become completely human. Shippou was just like them now.
Shippou giggled in little squeaks and fell onto Inu Yasha's chest, vibrating as he purred. Inu Yasha smiled for the boyís happiness. It was good that he looked like everyone else now. It only served to hide the truth that he was so very different, a mask that Inu Yasha had never tried on before. He felt tired so he closed his eyes, and woke up an hour and a half later.
His eyes widened sleepily and he blinked a few times as his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting in the room. The sun was setting now. His mouth was dry and there resided a taste so foul that he kept his mouth open and breathed only through his nose to avoid tasting it. Shippou was lying down near his legs, curled into a loose ball. He stood up, groggy, and made his way to the kitchen aand ran water over his mouth. After swishing it around his mouth for a while, he spit the water out and then took a few more sips to wash down any remaining taste.
His stomach grumbled and he suddenly realized he was very hungry. He looked in the pantry and took out a can of tuna. After pulling the tab back, he took out a fork and ate the rest voraciously. It was enough to keep his small stomach occupied for the moment, so he threw his shirt off as he passed the small room with a washer and dryer and went into the bathroom, turning on the hot water before he removed the rest of his clothing. He placed one bare foot into the puddle of water beneath the shower head that gathered around the drain to check whether the water was warm.
Deciding it was okay, he stepped into it and felt himself relax as the hot water splashed against his skin and trickled down his torso. He sat down on the shower floor and rubbed his leg. The hot water running against it made it feel better, looser. He squeezed the sore muscle tissue and flinched at the initial pain it caused him, but eventually got used to it and rubbed it harder. He then switched to the other leg and continued to massage it.
As he rubbed the sore calf, he realized for the first time how scarred his hands were. The marks healed very well, so they were almost not noticable at all. He knew that some of them were from cooking. Back when he was younger, his hands were sloppy with the knife and his fingers were always cut. He wore bandaids all the time, he remembered. His father would buy them for him, and it didn't make sense to him now. The abuse was still very light then, so maybe his father didn't want it to look like it was him doing it, because he felt guilty.
His hands were covered with nicks, and his body, it was covered with scars. He felt like a diary of every negative emotion his father ever had. He tried not to think about all of the scars, and the stories behind them. Each mark brought back such bad memories, it was almost to much to notice ... it was easier to forget about them and move on. There were more important things to care about.
He looked down at his chest, for the first time in a while and looked at the letters carved into his flesh. Unloved.
The cuts hurt ... but the words struck deeper.
Why was it that words could be so strangely unnerving? He fingered the scars. They stuck out so obviously. They were darker than the rest of his skin and only a little bumpy. He felt uncomfortable and realized now that no one could ever see him. No one could see these scars, ever.
He reached around and touched the scar on his back he had gotten on the morning before school started. It was bumpy and uneven, only slightly. It hadn't healed well. He had gotten so used to treating wounds that he was almost confused that it had healed so awkwardly. But then he remembered Kagome. Was she so distracting that he forgot to treat his cuts? Then again, it did make sense. She was so warm, and her hair smelled so nice, and her hands were always so soft.
She was such a pretty girl, so pretty, so pretty.
He felt himself grow tense and he pulled his legs in close to him as he sat, rubbing his face on his knees. His eyes began to burn and he tried to freeze his face as he fought back tears. But it was too strong, the stress and sadness came out in one big rush as he hiccuped a single gasping sob and collapsed into a fit of shaking. Tears rolled down his face and the saline mixed with with the shower water. His body was racked with a sudden pain that he knew wasn't from the running, or the beatings. His chest felt like it was squeezing his heart and lungs.
He rubbed his body, desperately trying to clean it.
Author's Notes
By the way, the spanish i's don't go away ... so I have to fix them manually in the edit section every time I upload a chapter.
You know what guys, today I saw the movie 'V for Vendettaí and I gotta say, it was probably one of the best movies I have ever seen. Ever. I am just in awe. Touched. Shocked. I HAVE to buy it! It was amazing! AMAZING! I loved it!
After some sighing and reminiscing ...
Holy S--T! That last part was ... um ... yeah. I'll stop talking now. Say, anyone know how to deep read?
Anyways ... I could have made this chapter longer, but I really wanted to rub the last part in all your faces. This chapter is around 3000 words so that is long enough. I hope you enjoyed it. In the next chapter, I basically run through the entire week up till friday next chapter so Sangoís birthday is coming pretty soon. I'm trying to move things along faster. MY GOD THIS STORY IS SO LONG! YAAY! I cant believe it'll be longer than a hundred thousand words! Mmm, joy.