I sobbed on the way home. No more Jacob. For ever and ever and ever. Never again would I be able to kiss him, or be held in his burning hot arms.

Bella tried to persuade me that Jacob could come up with a way to break the rule. I shook my head. It was different when he did it with her. Because he wasn't forbidden from seeing her.

The next week I walked around like a dead person. I knew that I must had been acting exactly like Bella when Edward left her, but I didn't care. Every day I began to anticipate the visit from Aro and Jane. Then I could join them and maybe, just maybe survive.

Still, every day Alice, Bella, Gabriel, and Edward tried to get me to snap out of it. I was surprised that Gabriel actually cared that I would no longer be around Jacob. You know, he should be happy. But then again, what's better having a walking shell of Jera, or a Jera with a werewolf?

Soon, it was Monday. Just one day away from the Volturi. Then, that morning, Alice rushed into the house with a note. "Jera! You have to read this!" she exclaimed happily. I took the note from her and read it. It was from Jacob.

Jera,

Please, please, please come to the cliffs around sun set. I've heard from Bella and the others what you are planning to do, and I simply won't let it. I think, I've found a loophole in Sam's rule. Please come, I love you.

Jacob

That was it, but that short note made me happier than I had been in a whole week. "You'll go?" Bella asked. When had she gotten there? I turned to her and nodded with a slight smile on my face. Alice squealed in joy and hugged me as tightly as she could.

"What is it?" Gabriel asked from upstairs. "Is she going to go?" Of course he knew...

"Yes, Gabe, I'm going." In a second he was wrapping his arms around my waist.

Gabriel looked up at me, his angel face shining. "I'm glad you aren't going with the Volturi. Jane is such a bitch, anyway." I looked at him sternly for what he just said. "I'm older than you," he retorted, knowing what that face meant. I laughed and hugged him. It was kind of good to be back among the living, er, unliving...

-------

I drove my Cayenne quickly. Excited to see Jacob for the first time in a whole week. Never, had I thought that a week could be so long compared to a year. I parked my car next to Jacob's. Then, in the dimming light, I spotted Jacob's silhouette. I jumped out of my car and ran up to his figure, embracing him from behind, glad to feel his heat.

"Jera," he barely whispered.

"Yes, Jacob." Slowly Jacob turned around, his eyes shut. So this was Jacob's plan. Sam said that Jacob couldn't "see" me, so if he kept his eyes closed, techincally, he wasn't "seeing" me. I giggled lightly. He responded in his own little chuckle. "I guess this works." I pulled him into a kiss.

"I guess so," Jacob replied. "But I want to really see you." I nodded my head, not realizing that he wouldn't see this. Then, I took his hand and placed it on my cheek. I happily melted under his palm. Gently, Jacob traced my features.

"So you won't leave with the Volturi tomorrow?"

"No, I don't think I will." I smiled then stop. "But Jacob, we can't keep meeting like this. I feel disconnected to you." He nodded his head.

"I'm hoping one of my pack mates will see me here, and I'll get banished. That way, I won't have to follow Sam's damn rules." I gasped. Jacob smiled bleakly. "I'd rather be with you."

"But Jacob..."

"No, this is my decision, not yours." I fell silent. Quietly, Jacob continued to trace my features and with the other hand, he stroked my hair. I picked up a scent. It was a werewolf. I shook my head.

"I guess you got what you wanted," I said quietly.

Again, he smiled, this time more sincerely. "I want you and I don't have that yet."

"I"m right here though."

"But am I really with you?"

I thought for a second. "Not really, but right now I think you are out of your mind for doing this. I mean, what if they kill you instead of banishing you?"

"They wouldn't. The second they do, even though my father basically hates me now, the whole tribe will turn their back on them."

"Interesting," I remarked lightly. Jacob laughed. After we had been standing there, I decided it was time for me to go. I pulled Jacob into a very long and very passionate kiss, first though, just in case. "Bye Jacob," I said, hearing the sadness in my own voice. "I love you."

"Jer, I won't die. I'll be fine." I stood there quietly. "Ok then," he finally said. "Bye Jera. I love you too."

Then I got into my car and drove away, into the dark night. Jacob's face and voice showed continously in my mind. I kept thinking that something was going to go wrong. But I always thought that something would go wrong. Sometimes I was right, sometimes I was wrong. Right now, I wasn't sure which one was winning in my life, I'd lost track a long time ago. But I do know that the last time I thought something would go wrong, it did.

I walked into the house silently. I felt all eightteen eyes follow my progress through the house. I really wished that they would just go away right now. It's not like they even said anything to me either. That definately peeved me.

I sat in my room, well aware of Alice and Bella watching me. All I wanted was for the next few hours to fly by. But it seemed the more I wished this, the slower time went. It was times like these, that I really wanted to be able to sleep again, so the hours would pass by in what seemed like minutes.