Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, I'm just using this for fun.
Jealousy
By: Gemini15
Love doesn't always come in one's direction; sometimes it has a landmark of its own
-Gemini15
I always felt deep inside that she would go to him. Watching them right now I stood by the door, speculating the two inside the locker room. It breaks me really, to see the woman he felt an amorous feeling towards embrace the form of another-the man who should have been me.
To you I would assume you think of me jealous, I would deny it until the end and I will deny it now-I am not jealous.
It was obvious in the beginning, his sharp eyes glancing in her way. His blue piercing eyes taking note of her every movement. He reminisced that whenever he did his sudden habits, I know deeply that she never thought that she was the only spot of his gazes.
He would have to agree with him of his glances; Olivia was but a demure tease. Olivia didn't think of these modest acts as appealing to men, I know. I would watch him watch her, soothing the aching pains on the back of her neck across him-or her idle posture when she was thinking of something sitting silently by her desk, when she walks, when she talks-everything.
I could see why men feel lured towards her beauty like a siren singing in her gentle voice and luring certain shipmates; she is the embodiment of fortification, intelligence, courage, and of course beauty.
Their noses touch each other, and sudden movements of lips draw my attention to their conversation. Until I note the words plays by her lips; "I love you"
Pain and jealousy struck me, as it always did whenever I hear those exchanges of words only to him, wishing they were for me. I know I can never have her, heck I have divorced four times and that's a number one, but still I begin to ask myself…
"Why would she want an old cynical being like me? "
I ask myself quietly, still watching the two. She kisses him softly, pain has faded but jealousy still holds its place inside my mental barrier. I can tell they had no care, of other detectives that might catch them there. I wouldn't blame them for showing their actions in the precinct even if they are still partners.
After all they were married for five years now, blessed with two adorable children. Liam and Sybilla loved to play with their Uncle John, me. I hate it when I start to think that these children should have been mine and Olivia's. Liam Evan Benson-Stabler is a smart five year old inherited from his mother, an 'accident' of his two parents actually.
That day Olivia announced of her pregnancy to me, I saw a face that spoke of joy but fear. I wished silently Elliot would leave her and she would be mine, just like I wanted it to be. Us, I wanted us.
But he didn't, and I realized I was too late. She was gone, all my hopes and dreams of me being with her erased…like a destiny never to be fulfilled.
Sybilla Serena Benson-Stabler, at a young age of three it was obvious she resembled so much of Olivia and she would have Olivia's promising beauty at an old age. The cute toddler loved to call me 'Munchkin' because of my last name. We got along, and formed a close bond of friendship.
Fin once told me that if you don't act fast, then every thing you want will pass. I guess he was right; it is too late for me. I am heading home now, and Fin waits for me by his desk, I look at my digital watch.
7:00 PM
"C'mon Munch I can't for your bony-self all night, I gotta spend some time with Ken, "I snort.
"I c'mon, don't rush me, "
"You need to be rushed, "Fin says taking out his jacket."By the way, what the hell where you lookin' at by the door, "Fin asks curious of me
"C'mon lets get out of here, "I say, brushing off the subject.