Thanks guys, for all the support and wonderful encouragement so far with the Finding Life Series. Hope you'll enjoy the juicy bits to come.
I don't usually do author's notes without apologizing for computer trouble, and this time is no exception. The glitch responsible for the random postings as of late has been corrected, and you should get your fix at a more regulated time now. (Far be it for me to deny ya!)
And, on the subject of writing… After much effort, I've just had a piece of original fiction published. While I've been doing fanfic for years, this is the first time my work has been selected by a literary magazine for publication.
Please, go check it out: http/www(dot)toasted-cheese(dot)com(slash)ezine(slash)6-2(slash)adamkiewicz.htm
And yes, that's my real life name. (You can see why I like to go by 'Lio')
I was hoping not to draw too much attention to myself when I entered December.
I needed gas, and I knew December was the only place I could get it before I finally hit Felicity. But I was worried someone would recognize me. Hold me, force me to go back to scrubbing the floors.
At least the rearview mirror told me that I looked much different from when I had left. My hair had grown out shaggy, tripping over my ears into elongated sideburns. I had a thick layer of stubble; grow from days on the road fearing what would happen if I stopped to clean myself up.
I had found clothes to replace the ones I had left in Enpril. Jeans and a heavy sleeveless undershirt I had heard called a wife beater. I was sure I looked a shady enough character to get past detection, but you never knew.
As I got the gas I made sure to ask for directions to Felicity with a stranger's politeness. The girl, a high school kid, recited them like she didn't recognize me.
It made me realized how tense I was, and what a relief ignorance was. And it made me want to take a real risk.
I was hungry, so I parked what was left of my car in the town square. The row of food carts that usually worked on the cobblestones were still there. Nothing had changed.
How long had I been gone? The church had been getting ready for July 1st celebrations, I remembered it being mentioned in the last service I attended. It was mid-September now June, July, August, September. Only four months. Of course. Why would any of it change?
I had, though, hadn't I? I still wasn't sure if it was for the best or not. Would I still be so happy, if I had just ignored Vash? If I had stayed here when I heard he was in December?
Felix Culpa, Father Leon had once said, the fortunate fall. It was a term that described Adam and Eve and the Apple in the first Eden, long before even the settlers' time. If they hadn't had bitten of the apple in the beginning, none of the worlds problems would have existed. But none of the true joys of the world would exist either. It was a tradeoff of sorts, and supposed to make you feel a bit better.
I bought a gyro from my old favorite cart in the square. The lady didn't recognize me.
I was starting to feel like a ghost.
I started to go back to the car, to get back on the road, but I looked over and saw that bench, the one that had started this whole mess. I couldn't resist moving over to sit down on it. Once more for old times sake.
After I finished half of my gyro, I wrapped it in its foil and lit up. The weather today was nothing like it had been that day. The sun was painfully bright, the faint breeze pulling through the courtyard not enough to pull away the heavy dry heat that clung to you and made you burn easier than you usually did.
The plants were different, I realized. Since I had left, they had turned healthy and green, blooming with small buds of red and white with tiny heart shaped petals.
A hand fell on my shoulder.
For a second, I thought it was Vash. I thought he had caught up with me and was going to chide me for waiting before he lovingly tackled me to the ground.
I should have known my luck wasn't that good.
"Brother Wolfe?"
It was the boy I had worked with in the Sunday school, the one whose name I could never remember. He looked professional in his new uniform, the collar starched and bleached to perfection. He was already starting to prematurely bald, but it made him look the role.
"Excuse me?" I asked, politely, trying to stall, unsure of what I should say.
"Mother of God… It is you! We thought you had been killed, or kidnapped! There was a report that you had hijacked a sand steamer… have you finally come back!
"I'm just passing through… friend." I said.
His look of disappointment was downright professional. "Wolfe, don't act as though we've never met before. I could recognize you even now. I don't know what you're doing with yourself, but Father Leon has been furious. There…"
I interrupted him by standing up. He sounded just enough like Father Leon to turn my stomach.
"Wolfe! Where are you going?"
"Like I told you friend, I'm just passing through."
"You can't be serious! You haven't thrown away your life yet! The fact that you're here is proof enough of that! If you just talk to the Fathers, I'm sure they'd consider letting you take your-"
I glared at him. He took a step back.
The pause that built between us was one of those ones that can only be broken by someone saying something fantastically intelligent, and I was guessing it was my turn.
Still, what was I supposed to say to him? We had never been particularly friendly, and he certainly didn't need to hear the whole story, just as I didn't have time to tell it.
And what could I tell him? Even the dumbed-down version was a guidebook to carnal sins. I had drawn blood, stained church property, gone against my elders, all while chasing after a man whom I had sacrificed everything of seeming importance in my life for the chance to bond with him in… well… a much less than fraternal fashion.
"I said…" I swallowed, my eyes feeling like sandbags. "I'm just passing through…"
"Wolfe…" the brother pleaded.
I shook my head. "All I was doing was passing through…"
I walked away. He didn't come after me.
It wasn't until I had left the town that I realized I had left the remains of my gyro behind. I figured it was an appropriate sacrifice, my appetite had been abandoned as well.