A Good Day for Revenge

Gabreilla Moushigo

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Cid looked like shit this morning, being the light sleeper he was. Shera on the other hand was chipper and making breakfast as Tifa and Vincent walked into the kitchen. They had just sat down as Shera placed a few bowls of the authentic Rocket Town chocolate with a generous piece of chewy bread in front of them. Cid leveled a gaze at them that spoke volumes. Tifa just hid her face in embarrassment. She was all too thankful to have long hair at this point. Cid was in a crusty mood this morning, and seeing Tifa look so distressed - he couldn't help but joke. "Have fun last night Sunshine?"

"About as much fun as I have every night." Vincent said evenly, not letting the comment faze him in the least as he drained his coffee from his mug.

Not willing to be undone, Cid tried another approach. "Who knew you were such a freak in the sack huh? Shera didn't get a good listen but Jesus almighty you're one fucked up SOB."

Shera glared at the back of Cid's head as he spoke. "Cid, mind your manners! You're at the table."

"Yes dear." Cid said, but he still had a sly grin on his face. He spoke more quietly than before, which wasn't very quietly at all. "You better not have broken that bed or you'll pay for it."

Vincent couldn't let that lewd comment slip. "Cid, like the rest of furniture, your beds are quite sturdy."

Cid's ears turned red. "What the fuck? You haven't been testing out the rest of my shit have you?"

Vincent wouldn't have dreamed of doing this, but it felt fun to mess with the pilot. "The chair you're sitting in wasn't very comfortable… but the table was just about the right height." He finished his coffee with a slight smile, grabbing at the pot to refill it. His eyes dared Cid to come up with something else.

It took Cid a moment to realize he was teasing him and whooped a laugh out of his lungs.

Shera noticed that Tifa was miserably embarrassed and hiding her face… not to mention not eating the breakfast she had worked so hard to make. "Now boys, you are embarrassing Tifa with all of your filthy talk."

"Yeah, yeah." Cid gave Vincent a congratulatory thump on the back before getting up. "Shera, where's my tea? I'm sick of this decaf shit." He walked over to his wife who was scrabbling more eggs at the stove.

Tifa watched Cid's retreating back for a moment before she noticed that Vincent's right hand was moving very casually over to the habanero sauce bottle that Shera kept next to her. He just as casually unscrewed the top before dumping half the contents into Cid's dipping chocolate, and the other half into his orange juice. He then grabbed the pilot's eggs, along with the salt shaker and distributed what she believed to be an almost lethal dose of salt before flipping it over to hide what he had done. He then put everything back like nothing happened.

Tifa half smiled at him, trying not to laugh. He just put one of his fingers up in a shushing motion and she tried to squelch her grin. When Cid came back to the table Cid picked up his fork and dug into his eggs and put a bite into his mouth. He chewed cautiously, his face screwed up in disgust. "Shera baby, lay off the damn salt! I think there is more in the eggs than the entire fucking ocean."

Shera seemed confused, but nodded anyway. "Yes dear."

Tifa glanced at Vincent, as stony faced as ever. He didn't even smile in the least, but she imagined he was just waiting for the habanero surprise.

To get the bad taste of salt out of his mouth Cid first went for his orange juice to clean his palate, he put the glass down quickly to grab a bit of bread and dipped it in his chocolate to remove the rest of the salt. He froze after a moment, bread still in his mouth. "GOD DAMN!" He flew out of his chair, knocking it back with the force of it all. "Milk! Shera! Get me some fucking milk!"

Shera, alarmed at how he was acting and complied right away. Cid grabbed the glass without a moment's hesitation and chugged it.

"Oh sweet Jesus!" Cid had tears in his eyes and if steam could blow out his ears he was sure it would have happened by now. Vincent took this opportunity to laugh gloatingly. It only took a second for Cid's brain to kick into action. "Why you mother fucker!" He accused, pointing at Vincent. He balled up his fists, ready to get some retribution. Vincent shrugged at him, only angering him further.

"Cid Highwind!" Shera scolded, knowing exactly what he was about to do. "No roughhousing!" She then pushed him to her empty chair. "Besides – serves you right."

"Serves me right!" Cid wailed, his eyes catching hers. "That vampire bitch tried to poison me!"

"Oh don't be so dramatic!" Shera stood up to him.

"Dramatic!" Cid cracked his knuckles, but sat down obediently. "Just you wait until we are out of this house Sunshine…" He threatened.

Shera's hand met the back of his head. "Cid, you left him out God only knows where!" Cid grabbed the back of his head and rubbed it thoughtfully. "And you made Tifa wait all that time for him to return too! How bad would you have felt if she left him then? Huh?"

Cid seemed to feel bad about that and muttered an inaudible "sorry" to Tifa.

"That's right you're sorry!"

Tifa was having a hard time getting used to seeing this. The usually mild mannered Shera getting that angry with Cid was a sight to see. They were busy yelling at each other and Tifa made a tisking noise at Vincent. "That wasn't very nice you know."

"Wait until he sees what I did to his plane." He said as calmly as possible, grabbing a bit of bread and dipping it in his bowl.

Outside sat Cid's plane with its original name removed. Vincent renamed it something fitting, repainting the name so that it looked like it was natural enough. Cid would just have to find out later. Today was a good day for revenge.

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Cid had found it a little too soon. "What the fuck Valentine?" He stormed over to Vincent. Shera had asked the dark haired man to water the flowers for her. Cid was currently running at him with a broom. Vincent easily side stepped him, shutting the hose off by letting go of the trigger mechanism. "Little PENIS X3" – what the fuck is that?"

"A juvenile prank." Vincent stated, eyeing him cautiously.

"I was wonderin' why those galls were laughing at me when I landed my plane in town." He shook his broom haphazardly.

"I guess they had to find out the truth sometime." Vincent said stonily.

"What!" Cid shrieked. "You bitch! The only reason I'm not out here spearing your ass right now is because Shera wouldn't let me have my pike."

"Why Cid," Vincent said with muted surprise. "I never knew you felt that way about me."

Cid realized how his 'spearing your ass' comment must have sounded like and howled in rage. He charged up to Valentine.

Vincent couldn't just shoot him, it wouldn't be sporting since he had a broom. He lifted up the hose nozzle and pointed it at Cid. He pulled his finger back and squirted him mercilessly with the hose.

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"Do you hear screaming?" Tifa asked.

"The boys must be playing again." Shera said flatly, as if it happened all the time, but there was a faint amount of amusement in her eyes.

"Maybe we should call the hospital." Tifa joked.

"I don't know – they haven't killed each other yet."

"Want to go watch?" Tifa grinned.

"You bet your ass I do." Cid was rubbing off of his wife apparently.

They looked out the nearest window to see Cid smacking Vincent on the head with his broom, Vincent was still spraying water at him, trying to ward him off. The two women laughed a bit at their antics. They soon abandoned their weapons and just started laying into each other. Cid managed to trip Vincent and got a few good solid punches to his chest and face on the way down.

"Oh, looks like they got mad at each other now." Shera shook her head in disapproval.

"Looks like they need to be separated." Tifa clucked her tongue.

The two men were rolling around in the mud Vincent had created and the two women stopped for a moment to admire the scene. "I guess that's why guys like watching two women fighting in mud?" Shera was now interested.

"Yeah, let's just watch a little while longer."

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Shera was dabbing peroxide onto Cid's cuts and told him to hold the ice pack to his face to remove the swelling.

Vincent of course, was completely fine. His body mended itself quickly after the fight was over. The only problem he suffered was from his mechanical arm. It could handle water, but there was now dirt between his joints and it made a horrible crunchy, grating noise when he flexed his fingers and wrist. Tifa was poking into the crevices with alcohol and ear swabs. She had almost run through the whole package by the time she was finished. He had to move each joint every so often so she could tell where he was still having a problem.

"Almost finished with your manicure?" Cid barbed.

"Almost finished licking your wounds?" Vincent cut back. Although Cid seemed livid at him, he was thoroughly enjoying their angry banter.

"Now boys," Shera said reproachfully. "Be nice."

"I would be if Dracula over there would apologize." Cid grumbled.

"I'll apologize when you apologize for calling me Dracula and telling Cloud I was a vampire."

"I'll apologize when you apologize for changing the name of my plane!"

"I'll apologize when you apologize for dumping me off in the middle of no where!"

"I'll apologize when you apologize for poisoning my food!"

"I didn't poison your food!" Vincent shot back.

"Yes you did you bastard!"

"Shut up and say you're sorry already so you guys can get back to normal!" Shera stomped her foot.

"Sorry." They said in unison.

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Author's Notes:

So much fun! I enjoyed writing a chapter with all those juvenile pranks. Although I don't think Vince and Cid are finished yet.

Either the next chapter or the chapter after this one will be pretty funny – I've been waiting to post it for a while now.

I'm working on getting to the ending of this fic… but of course when the end is in sight I start thinking of another project. It surrounds Weiss and Nero of course… I figured I would work on it today since I forgot to email myself the updated version of my fiction.

The chapters will be coming up slower – I'm going to wait a few days before posting again as I've said before. I know it sucks but it's either that or you won't be seeing something for a while. I really want to finish this fic though – I have lots of drive on it still… it's just a matter of writing it all.

Oh! I have to add this because I found out I was full of it. Apparently Nero and Weiss are real brothers. I DID say that 'you never know'… I guess that's why I found out with little freaking out. Someone found some info on them – I think they share at least their mother. The person who wrote it writes for adultfanfiction and has about three stories about Weiss and Nero… please check them out if you like that sort of thing. They were just… perfect. (purr). So they are related… doh… but for mine they still aren't because I already wrote a back story for them. My project coming up though - will have them being related… even if it is a tad gross.

On to the Reviews:

I love Vincent Valentine: Ah, glad to know you like my fiction – it gives me warm fuzzies. I do have to slow down unfortunately. I'm not getting the sleep I should and it's killing me a bit. I've had to start taking my husband into work – which adds another two hours onto my day if I only have to take him… four if I have to go get him. It's leaving me less time to write I'm afraid. (sniffle) Soooo sleepy!

Water Apparition: It's so funny when people can't see outside cannon couples. I almost always write about them and draw them because it's so much fun. Not that there is anything wrong with cannon couples mind you – but it's nice to read or see something other than Cloud/Tifa all the time. Glad I made you laugh about the Keebler Elf thing – I sort of giggled to myself when I wrote it… and I was at work. My boss probably thinks I'm a nut.

Daylo: Awwww! I'm not that bad. As I have said, I only mess things up when I don't pay attention or I'm so mad I can't see strait. Even then it's pretty hard for me to mess stuff up (I use timers more then). I remember when my cousin would cook for the two of us – her food looked pretty bad too. I remember her making some green jello cake… which sounds gross… and looks terrible too. When I asked her when what the hell it was – she said "Delicious!" And it was! I'm sure she can make things look prettier now (I have no idea) – but I'm still making things that look like they would come out of the Queasy Bake Oven.

As far as pronouncing my name goes - I pronounce it Mow-Shee-Go. As far as I know – it means Heaven Sent Child. I thought it went well with Gabreilla.

Vinny the Vampire: Yeah, it's good that Tifa is finally getting intimate again. It definitely makes things a lot more fun to write. The two of them being all confused is pretty hard to deal with sometimes. I think it would be funny if you could've told Reeve no… just to see his expression. He seemed like the type to throw a fit (of the hissy variety) if he did. Either that or guilt him into it… I don't know why I think that… Reeve's just funny that way.

Jen: Haha! I laughed when I read that. It's hard not to get a mental image of Vincent poking Reeve to death. It ended on a strange note – because I didn't want to write a lemon… otherwise it might have sounded a bit better. It made me twitch a little bit to leave it like that… but I was soooo lazy that day. (smacks her wrist) I've been writing lemons (and re-writing them) none stop. I've had to rewrite some of them so many times because they were either too rough or too mushy that I wanted scream. This time – I'll just leave it up to your imagination.

Lady Shiva: Your reviews haven't been lacking – I enjoy them immensely. Some people leave shorter comments that others and that's fine. We'll be seeing Nero and Weiss again soon. (I forgot to email myself my story today – so I can't work on it during breaks – sniffle).

Motchi: No! Please keep telling me what I'm missing and you don't sound nit-picky at all. If anything I get embarrassed when I don't notice things (especially with grammar check on word)! I miss those green lines a little too often.

I've worked as an editor for a paper at one time – I can find mistakes with everyone else's work… but never my own. It's a curse I guess.

Like I said to Jen about the whole chapter getting cut off strangely – it's only because I was being an absolute lazy twerp. I was thinking to myself: ok… I could write a lemon or something sweet right now… but I'm soooo lazy. I don't think I would have felt that way if I didn't have to re-write them all the time. But yes – excuses… excuses. Hehe.

Vince does deserve some slack - thank goodness he is finally getting some right?

Thanks for helping me edit. (grins)

Starwolf Magic: "Assumptions" and while the wheels in Vincent's head are turning – I'm not sure if he'll ever suspect Cloud might have done such a thing. That's the way it is I guess – the one you lease suspect. At least that's what I am going for. I'm wondering though, if the "real" Vincent would have suspected him anyway. I don't see him as overly trusting, but he and Cloud seem to have a decent relationship anyway (in Advent Children and Dirge).

Leo Barton: Haha – I loved that part too. It looked like something off of Sailor Moon or the Power Rangers hehe. I liked how he shook his head a bit with a sort of ironic grin on his face when Omega sent out those little laser pods.

Resident Evil 4? That was great. I couldn't play the game myself – I was screaming and covering my eyes the whole time. I'm a bit of a wuss when it comes to Zombie games… no matter how silly. Whenever the people with the chainsaws came out I shrieked and my husband would either laugh or freak out himself. He says he liked me watching him play – because I made the game scarier than it really was.

I tried playing it while he was gone once – I ended up dying one too many times because I would stand up suddenly and rip out the controller trying to get away from the television or I'd throw the controller away while I covered my face and let poor Leo get torn apart.

I'm pretty good at Spanish but some of the words they used I didn't quite catch – which made the experience even creepier. I had nightmares afterwards... not to mention my husband was being a total bastard and made those zombie moaning noises before biting the crap outta me while I tried to sleep. I could've killed him.

My favorite part of the game though – was saving the wolf. That was definitely the best part… because everything else scared the crud out of me. I'm getting the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it. I know it's not real – my mind knows it's not real – but I can't help it – it just freaks me out.

(Goes off to play her wussy games of Chibi Robo and Pikmin 2 so she can stop being so afraid of the zombies coming to eat her – boo hoo)

P.S. Why the crap didn't Leo get it on with the President's daughter? He acted like he was hung up on what's-her-face but then starts putting the moves on his contact. Blah…

Thanks for reviewing everyone – it really makes my day!