She had been ready, and Natalia would continue to be prepared each day he called on her. She eventually worked her way back into the regular Red Room program and back with the other girls at times, but he continued to take special care and attention to her training in particular.
She rose quickly and her talent showed. She was formidable and an obvious talent amongst the other girls. Now, her training was nearly completed. Natalia was nearly a Black Widow, and the time for training merely in the academy walls was done. Now was the time to gain experience in the field, for training only led so far.
Natalia was ready; even Kudrin had to admit it when it came time to look over future missions for her. This one would be of particular interest... and importance. They needed this serum, and so they would get it. They wanted Natalia to do it, her skill set and his to gain them their prize. It felt like any other mission, except he wasn't sure how it would go with another person such as Natalia, who was competent and would be relied on heavily and not just for gun power or equipment or bodies.
But he felt confident in their ability to work together, as well. It may take more care on his part and a new equation to sort through, but he had trained Natalia for a long while now and was sure they would be fine. The mission would be completed, and so would Natalia's training.
"Here," He said to her later, setting the folder in her hand and tugging a set of black gloves over his hand. One over flesh and the other slid up and over the metal, hiding it from view, so he would not gain attention from it. Infiltration was the first part, and if it had to get messy, it did, and they would be able to do so... but for now, they wanted to get this the 'easy' way. This was where Natalia's skill set would be more than helpful. It would be necessary. "That details the rest of our mission."
Once she had accepted that there was no way out of this program, she changed how she interacted with the training. The fact that she was trained by the Winter Soldier instead of Kudrin also led to her success. Of course, she eventually returned to the actual Black Widow program, but she always seemed better with the Winter Soldier around. It was because she wanted to impress the man for some unknown reason. She wanted to see his pride even though he hid it all the time.
Lately, they have set more and more tests. Kudrin made Natalia shoot with both hands, first at a shooting range piece of paper and then at a human being with a bag over his head. Her young self would've looked at the person in horror and ignored the task but not these days. There was no such thing as lousy consciousness; she simply did pull the trigger without batting an eyelid. Even though she still looked for a clean way out. It was merely quieter and, according to Natasha, more efficient. You never know when you actually would need the target again. Moreover, it would be the easiest to go back and kill him or her anyways. Kudrin seemed to become more and more satisfied with Natalia's work.
Her training was slowly coming to an end and she knew it. The more freedom the Red Room training gave her, the more Natalia walked around the facility. She hadn't been out of the fenced area since her attempt to escape. To her, it had become a game to follow the Winter Soldier without him realizing that she was there. It was a bit of training for Natalia and she was curious about what the man was doing over the day. Natalia could tell his daily routine by now and also noticed irregularities. One of the anomalies had taken her interest: the science lab. The man never showed much interest in it, so why would he go there? Natalia's hobby of following was soon replaced by keeping an eye on the science lab and the head scientist.
To most people's annoyance, the Red Room Program hadn't been able to get rid of her natural curiosity but simply allowed her to hide it even better than years ago. She knew strictly when she was allowed to be nosey and when she wouldn't get answers. So she had stayed quiet about the science lab in front of the Winter Soldier but consulted Kudrin about it. The woman didn't look happy but gave her some answers about what they were doing in there. It simply raised more questions about why they had a lab when the girls were not allowed to train there and gain knowledge.
Her boredom and curiosity had made it so far that one night, she decided to go there. No one was awake and she knew how to move like a ghost. The guards were simply a decoration and didn't fulfil anything more than to keep the younger girls away from doing something stupid. It was an easy task for Natalia to pick the lock, and soon, she found herself inside the lab. Nothing of interest was in there; she was more interested in Pchelintsov's office. Another break-in later, Natalia was inside. She looked through his desk, making sure that nothing would be moved. The first thing that caught her interest was one with an American name: James Buchanan Barnes. Thinking nothing about it, she took the file and opened it. To her surprise, no one else but the Winter Soldier was staring back at her from a picture. She scanned through the first page of the file and frowned. It seemed like her first intention that the man was American had been more than correct.
Natalia started to chew on her lower lip like she always did when she was about to do something forbidden. Then, with a sigh, she started a new file and carefully copied the name of James Buchanan Barnes on the folder before filling it with various empty pages until it had the same thickness as the actual file. The girl hid the original one underneath her shirt and tucked it into her waistband before placing the second file in place of the former and closing everything. Soon she found herself back in her bed and hid the file well. That night she wasn't able to find any sleep. Too many questions were swirling around in her mind. Natalia didn't dare to read further. It seemed like she was intruding on her mentor, but it would finally give her the option of finding the answers to questions that had accompanied her since the first time she met him.
Even at the debriefing with the Winter Soldier for her first mission, she seemed to be preoccupied. Natalia hoped it appeared because it was her first mission; therefore, she was unsure if she was ready for it. It might seem against her typical characteristics, but it would be a normal reaction, wouldn't it? Natalia looked up as the Winter Soldier addressed her and she took a moment too long to reach for the file. Instead, she read through it, trying to get focused. "Seems like we're not kicking down doors and people. But be quiet about it.", she spoke in surprise and looked at the man in front of her. "Can you do that?", she asked with a teasing tone in her voice. If she had realized one thing about this man in front of her. He did like the quick and dirty way into and out of things.
He watched Natalia reach for it, and he'd expected her to breeze through it for relevant information, but she took time studying it. She came around, though, and he decided any worries would dissipate as soon as she got into her role.
Was she surprised by this? Well, her training with him was not espionage based. That was why they wanted her to accompany him; he had not gone alone. They needed a woman here.
"I will do whatever the mission requires of me," His words were standard, but his voice held a small amount of warmth. His lips curved up to the side as he looked down at Natalia. "But that is what you're here for," He noted, his face resting normally again.
His answer raised her eyebrow as she doubted that he had the patience that might be asked of him. It could be interesting to see him act like a spy than a soldier. "Alright, Winter… When are we leaving?" she asked. Calling him Winter came naturally from her lips now. All these pieces of training and growing some kind of friendship with him had made her used to it ever since he had told her to call him Soldier. She refused to see him as a soldier only - hence Winter. The name brought the file back into her mind. Perhaps she should tell him about it. Just plunge him into the deep end like he had done it plenty of times or be more sensitive about that topic.
"Do I have ten minutes to pack, or are we leaving straight away for Taiwan?" she asked, hoping that she was given ten minutes. She wanted to pack the file rather than leave it in her room. After all, Natalia didn't know if they would go rampage and look for things in her room. So better safe than sorry.
Natalia offered him the file back and looked at him like she had done years ago when they first met. It was open and innocent but yet she searched for something. Any indication that the file was valid and not made up. But it did make sense in a way. Yet she doubted even the Red Room was so cruel in wiping someone's memories completely. A shred of possible evidence for that theory was standing right before her. Perhaps she could do her own research on Captain America and James Buchanan Barnes while being away from Russia. They might have a lot of time on hand and to him, it might seem like she reads old stories - made-up fairy tales.
He rolled his eyes at her nickname of sorts. It sounded silly to him, but he supposed that was alright. But it was something she did, and the Soldier didn't even bother to correct her. If she wanted to, there wasn't much of a use in a name. Although Natalia would disagree, 'all information has its use,' she'd told him once. A spy would think as much.
"If you need it," He shrugged. He picked the file from Natalia and his face pinched in amusement at how she stared at him. "Yes, Natalia?" He asked her, despite it being less than necessary. She was always so odd, in some ways, and he wondered what would bring such a look to her face. It made her look young again, which she had not been to.
Natalia saw his face as she mentioned his nickname. It brought a smile to her face and she spoke "Don't look at me like that. I know you actually like that name!" She chuckled and grinned at him innocently. To her, it was so much to a name. It was part of one's character as much as any other trait was. Again the name 'James' swirled around in her mind and she thought it was a very unfitting name for her Winter. Perhaps it was the unfamiliarity of the term. But it simply didn't fit.
Natalia looked up at him quietly as she searched for something she couldn't see. It frustrated her like it had done back then. There was nothing to be seen like years ago. Only that his gaze seemed softer and not so pinching. He did tend to show a few emotions lately. "You should go and have a haircut... Your hair is becoming so long," she answered casually like it had really been on her mind. Yet it was a simple lie that might take him off guard, and still, after all these years, she did enjoy crumbling down his walls. He was way more friendly than most people actually thought.
With that being said, she turned casually around and walked to her room. Once inside, she hurried to retrieve a duffle bag. She rechecked the door to ensure it was closed and no one would come inside before retrieving the file and placing it inside a shirt on the bottom. Afterwards, she filled the most part with clothes and a top weapon. She went with both knives and guns, as you could never know. Unlike the Winter Soldier, she chose to wear regular clothes for now. Anything else might look ridiculous and give too much away - especially if they needed to interact with people. Perhaps she should go and tell him about it. This was confusing and exciting at the same time. Finally, she was able to show off that she was finally finished with training, that she would be able to pull something like that off on her own.
Once finished, she walked back to the Winter Soldier and tried to keep her facial expression clean from both excitement and worry. "Let's go, shall we?" she asked him using English.
He wouldn't go as far as like because it didn't really matter, right? But he supposed it wasn't terrible to have someone call him something other than Soldier. It just... he wasn't really sure about what the question brought on, so he moved past it and simply shook his head.
He looked towards the sides of his face and then back to Natalia. That seemed odd for her stare, but honestly, he had never thought about it. Although it had been shorter when he entered the red room academy. Maybe that is how it was supposed to be. Hair just never occurred to him.
"How would cutting my hair help our mission?" He chuckled, the sounds still throaty from disuse. He was amused by the notion. But Natalia was more knowledgeable of these things, he was sure. The Soldier departed and returned in ten minutes, as she'd requested and was already stepping out.
"Yes, practice is good," He responded in English. They had practiced much in their training, but secondary languages needed to constantly be practiced so she could speak them as if they were her own. "But first," He said, grabbing a hold of her wrist to pull her back into her room. Once he could close the door, he turned around and slapped a pair of scissors into the palm of the wrist he'd been holding.
He waved towards his hair and then sat on the edge of Natalia's bed, his arms resting on his legs as he glanced at her. "Go on since it is necessary."
"It doesn't help our mission. I think shorter hair just makes you look better if you want to hear an opinion from a woman," she answered casually as if she hadn't talked about his appearance before. After all, it was none of her business and she had other things in mind than his hair. It was longer than the haircut on that old picture of that American soldier.
"What are you doing?" she demanded, ready to break his wrist if necessary as he pulled her into a room. She looked at the scissors in his hand, unsure what he wanted from her. She looked at him, confused, until he gestured to his hair. Natalia wouldn't have thought that she would ever get to cut his hair and she definitely seemed unsure. After all, she was closer to him than she ever had before. "Don't blame me for a bad haircut. I'm no hairdresser," she told him eventually and stepped forward.
Her green eyes connected with his for a split second before she nodded. Slowly she started cutting and running her hand through his dark hair. It was a weird feeling to be in such close proximity to him. "I thought of trimming the sides and keeping it longer on the top," she said, trying to imitate the haircut from the picture just to see if it would trigger something. Perhaps it would be so easy, but she doubted it was true anyways. It was just a fake one, yet it made no sense that they would keep it there. That whole thing made no sense; she needed more information.
"And finished..." she spoke and joked "Close your eyes I want to see your reaction to the cut! Gotta know if hairdresser can be a good alternative to the spy business." She smiled at him and went with him to the mirror. It seemed to be a ridiculously lot of business around a simple haircut and she hoped he would buy the reason. She knew it was a weak one as they both knew that she would never get to do another job if this one wouldn't work out. Natalia ran a hand through his hair the last time, placing some strands into place. "Alright, open your eyes, Winter," she whispered. Afterwards, she stepped away and leaned against the wall to gauge his reaction.
"You're the woman," He reminded her of her initial response. Thus she was more of an expert than he. Besides, he thought her hair looked good when he glanced at it and contemplated it. But it might just be an entirely unique color.
He gave her an encouraging smile as she glanced at him as if they were training. He waited patiently as she looked him over and walked up close to him. He didn't mind having her leaning over him; it seemed to him that many people did this, to fiddle with his arm and such. Having her cut his hair and bend close didn't really affect him. He just waited patiently.
But. What was different was the feeling of Natalia's fingers running through his hair, he assumed, being able to cut it properly. It evoked a powerful reaction, and he hardly realized it when his eyes slid closed and his usually stiff shoulders fell relaxed entirely.
Haircuts were nice.
"Mmhm," He responded. She could do whatever Natalia wanted with it; he didn't really have any preference. A slow, lazy smile had slid across his unusually peaceful face as she continued to smooth her fingers through his hair, and the scissor's snip was all to be heard.
As she announced she was finished, he opened his eyes again, but his body felt sluggish. He was... he felt something negative when she finished. Nothing very strong, but he wished he had had more hair to be cut.
"You're the professional," He teased and again closed his eyes. He chuckled at that. "Worried for your mission?" He said and stood uneasily up, with no sight. But she led him to the mirror, he assumed and his lip tugged up once again as she ran her hands through his hair one last time. He opened his eyes at her request and didn't see her immediately, just his reflection.
The Soldier looked into the mirror and titled his head a bit. To be honest..he wouldn't tell her this since she'd wanted him to cut his hair, but he wasn't very sure what it had looked like before this. He didn't remember the last time he'd stood in front of a mirror to reflect on his appearance. It was odd, foreign to him, to observe himself.
But he thought it looked good, suited him. So he glanced behind his own image to spot Natalia by the wall.
"You're good," He said, a lopsided smile tugged at his face. "If you ever need to portray a hairdresser, you won't blow your cover."
But she had asked for his reaction. "I think it is suitable."
Natalia was surprised at his reaction to her cutting his hair. She never had cut anyone's but her own hair before. So seeing anyone - especially the Winter Soldier - relax under her touch brought an unfamiliar emotion to the surface. Was it pride or...something else? Natalia couldn't really tell, but it felt good. He seemed to trust her and that trust was worth more than millions of dollars to her.
"Nah, not worried about my mission. But my bones. Don't want to fight you today if I made you look like a clown," she joked and smiled back at him. She chuckled over her own comment and how she implied that he would break her bones if she messed up his appearance.
Once his eyes opened and there was no natural reaction to the haircut. Natalia became disappointed. She hadn't realized how much she wanted something so simple to work. For the file to be true. But here they stood and she felt like she had failed the one she always had looked up to.
She cleared her throat instantly, trying to hide her disappointment as he smirked at her. The redhead smiled back at him, but it didn't quite reach her eyes and spoke, "Well, how do you Americans say it...?" Natalia thought about the correct saying, "The haircut might bring the ladies to your yard."
Natalia walked over to him and looked at his face studious for the last time before nodding. "Let's go. We have to be in Taiwan in time," she spoke suddenly, switching back to Russian and the professional mode. Natalia didn't know why she was pushing them out of this room. This sense of familiarity and failure was torturing her. So she used the mission as an excuse to leave.
"I wouldn't do you harm for something so frivolous," He said, shaking his head. But he knew she was only teasing. Still, he wondered what it would take for him to break her in such a way. Likely for it to be an order from the State... and with a confused expression pinching his face momentarily, he realized he didn't like the thought.
But what did it matter? Natalia was a good tool for the State, as was he, as them choosing her for this mission showed. So he would never have to worry about it. Even if he knew he would follow through on such orders.
"Is that what they're saying these days?" He said without thinking about why he would respond in such a way. As if he had actual knowledge on it when the Soldier did not. But he slipped past the feeling and focused on the saying. A short laugh came up from his chest. Again, he wondered why she was so convinced he was American. Maybe he was; it likely did not matter.
She straightened and returned her focus to the mission. That was... good, at least.
"Do not worry, we will be," He said surely, after all; after all, he would not have suggested the haircut if it were to impede their mission. They would be in plenty of time for the start meeting.
Natalia was unsure of what to say. She had seen him break bones for far less than a ruined haircut. Watching him, she smiled gently even though it was a weak one. She saw his confused expression and wondered what was going on. She immediately tried to link it to either his statement or the haircut. Probably it was linked to the first.
"I don't really know... Never left this facility before. My parents brought me here at a very young age and I cannot remember anything other than being around here. This is my first time leaving the compound since..." she spoke but cut herself off. Natalia never talked about the day when she tried and failed to escape. Sometimes she wondered how her life might have turned out if she succeeded, but she mostly ignored that. Even when they asked her about it, she gave answers but mostly said she didn't remember anything. The electroshock and adrenaline wiped her memories of that day even though it didn't.
Yet his short laughter brought a natural smile to her face as she glanced at him. Those rare moments of laughter seemed to make her genuinely happy. There was something about it that she couldn't really describe. It was like it showed her another person.
"Let's go..." she repeated again and walked over to the door. This time it was her opening it and holding it for Winter. "Age before Beauty." she teased and gestured for him to leave the room.
This is the first story of a full series around Bucky and Natasha's unseen past in the MCU. Stay tuned!
Leave a kudos or put it in the comments what you think will happen next or what you loved! It'll be great to hear from you! If you enjoyed the story, feel free to treat me to a coffee on KoFi! ko slash fi dot com slash fatedmuses