Chapter 11
I dont know where I am, I dont know whats going on and I dont really know if I should be moving. I'm scared that if I do move then I will fall. I do know one thing though... Its dark. Darker than I have ever seen, I literally can not see a thing and that never happens, not even in the woods. I take a hesitant step forward, regretting it as soon as my foot touches something sticky on the floor. I wouldnt say its very sticky, just slightly sticky and very wet. It takes me about 2 seconds to realise that I dont have anything on my feet, not even socks. The liquid is warm against the bottom of my foot. "KATNISS EVERDEEN!" I hear the voice that I know so well.
Suddenly, a blinding light floods the room and I have to take a minute to allow my eyes to get used to the sudden change in scenery. Once I have, I look forward to see Rye standing infront of me. He looks pained, angry even, maybe a little bit viscious. Something I have never seen in Rye's face before. Its startling. "Rye?" I ask him but my voice seems to escape me and all that comes out is a squeel, which Rye laughs at.
"You are so pathetic. I cant believe I actually dated you." He says, smiling evily. He takes a step forward but I stand my ground, now noticing that he has a knife in his hand, as he twirls it around his fingers as if it was just a pencil he is using to write down orders at the bakery.
"What?" I ask him, confused. I dont know whats going on here. Is he mad at me for something?
"If you had just loved me and stayed with me then this wouldnt have happened and I wouldnt have been forced to do it." He says, stepping closer towards me, this time I take a step away from him, suddenly loosing my balance on whatever liquid covers the floor and landing with a crash on what feels like kitchen tiles. "But no, you had to go and have a baby with HIM!" Rye says again, motioning to the floor next to me but I'm too scared to take my eyes off him. "YOU BROKE MY HEART!" He screams. "So I cut his out." This time when he motions the side of me, I peal my eyes away from my boyfriend to see his brother lying on the floor, surrounded by blood, a great big hole in his chest, approximately where his heart is, or would have been. His heart however is lying in his hand.
I feel the bile rise up in my throat but I fight to keep it in as I crawl through the blood to Peeta's side. Covered in his blood and shaking like hell, I lean down to him and take his head in my hands. "I couldnt let him live after what he did to me." Rye says from behind me and all the sorrow, all the sadness all just turns to hatred as I turn to my boyfriend, finding myself on my feet again.
"You son of a bitch!" I should, lunging at him. I throw my right arm out and my fist collides with the side of his face, knocking him back slightly before he regains his footing again, watching me with a smile on his face. "I HATE YOU!" I shout, kicking him hard in his left shin, he doesnt even react, not even a flinch. I stop and look right back at him through the tears in my eyes.
"I just have one last order of business." Rye says and I look down at his knife, ready to kill. He wouldnt kill me, would he? "I want to be with you Katniss, I love you, but sadly I cant be with you when you are carrying my brothers baby." I narrow my eyes in confusion, just as I feel a pain like no other. His knife his now sticking out of my produding belly. He takes hold of the handle, pulling it to the side, creating a big slice across my stomach. Thats when I fall and everything goes black.
I wake with a start, shooting up in my bed. I vaguely remember the sound of screams, realising quickly that they where my own screams. That was by far the worst dream I have had so far, since I found out about the baby just over 2 weeks ago. "Katniss? You alright?" I hear someone say and I turn to see my mother and Prim standing at the top of the stairs that lead to my bedroom.
"Yeh, sorry, bad dream. Go back to sleep little duck." I say to her and she smiles at me before retreating back downstairs. My mother however, comes in and sits next to me on my bed.
"You wanna talk about it?" She asks. I shake my head and she nods in understanding. I have been talking to her about everything this past week but I have never told her about my dreams, she would probably think I was insane or something and that is that last thing I need right now. "Well maybe you should get more rest." I smile at her and lie back down onto my pillow. "You want me to leave?" I think about it for a second before shaking my head. I've become so close to her recently and I really dont want to be alone. She smiles back and climbs under my covers, taking me in her arms like my dad used to when I was a child.
The next time I wake up, my mother is gone. I'm glad that I didnt have another nightmare though. I pull myself up out of bed and change into some normal clothes, not that I have anything other than normal clothes though. Today is the day that I tell Peeta. I had it planned. I had to tell him before my birthday tomorrow and today is the only day that we both have off work. I've put it off long enough as it is, I cant keep it from him forever and I know that, I'm just scared to tell him. I told him that I am going to spend the day at his so he already knows that I am going around there but he doesnt know why. Plus in a couple of days, he has to leave. He wont tell anyone why but President Snow wants him to be in the Capitol for a week. Its probably something to do with the Victors because Finnick is going too. Uncle Haymitch isnt though, I've asked Peeta loads of times but he refuses to tell me what is going on. Says it would be better if I didnt find out. I know I'll find out eventually though, he cant keep it hidden forever.
"Where you going?" Prim asks as I walk past the sitting room to the front door.
"I'm going to Peeta's, I have to talk to him about something." I reply to her and she smiles a goodbye. My mother raises her eyebrow in question and I nod, she should understand what I mean. We havent told anyone yet, not even Prim. I know she probably suspects something though, I can see it in her eyes. I've been acting strange and we all know it. Rye and Peeta have probably picked up on something too. I really hope none of them find out before I tell them though, It would be easier if I didnt have to tell them but it is the decent thing to do. I dont know who I'm more scared about telling though. Peeta will find out that he is going to be a father and Rye will be finding out that his girlfriend is having a baby with his brother. This is going to be hard but I have to do it.
I leave the house without another word and walk through the streets of the seam. I found it really hard to get to sleep last night, I couldn't come up with a way to tell Peeta about it. I was even more worried to tell Rye but I think part of that worry is from telling Peeta so I need to get this one out of the way first. I just need to come out with it and tell him. I thought about it long and hard and even though this baby was very unplanned and will change everyones lives, I couldnt ever kill it. It would be easier on us all if I got rid of it but then I would be no better than the Capitol and I know that neither Peeta or Rye would agree to it and my mother would probably have a heart attack if I told her I was planning on killing it.
Before I even know what is happening, I'm knocking on Peeta's front door. My heart starts to race as I think about whats coming. I know that Peeta has enough money to look after a baby and that he has wanted children most of his life but this is no doubt, going to ruin his life. Mine too. I'm not saying it wont be good because it will eventually, I'm just saying that out lives are going to change completely, the real question is... are we ready for this?
"Katniss?" Peeta asks, pulling me out of my thoughts and allowing me entrance into his home. I nod and walk over the threshold. Before I even have a chance to say hello, he starts talking, whilst walking me to the kitchen like he always does. "Right, I've been thinking and I know that you have been very down lately, its your birthday tomorrow and I wanted to take you somewhere. I know that Rye should be the one taking you somewhere but he is working today so I thought that I would. I talked to your sister and she told me about a lake in the woods and I was wondering if you could take me there if I prepare a picnic and we make a day of it." He looks at me with a smile on his face and I smile back.
"Peeta, I need to talk to you about something." I say to him and he puts his hand up to stop me before I can carry on.
"Whatever you have to say, I'm sure it can wait till tonight, right now, we will forget about everything and just have a good day." He smiles and I nod. That is one of the only things I need right now, a good day and strangely enough I'm happy that its with Peeta and not Rye. Dont get me wrong, I like spending time with Rye but sometimes all you need is a friend and Peeta gives me a type of happiness that I dont think I have ever gotten from Rye. "I have already taken Holly to the Bakery so we have all day to spare."
He leaves me standing there, to walk away and get the picnic sorted, so I take a seat at his kitchen table and watch him work. He must have baked some bread this morning because he already has a couple loaves on the side. "Could you do me a massive favour and take a loaf over to Delly?" He asks me and I nod as he wraps one up. "I was about to take it over when you showed up." I take it from him and leave the house, walking over to Delly's. I dont really go over there anymore. I know that she is hurting and I know she needs time. She does leave her house sometimes, like to go to work or to go and see Hazelle. She has stopped going over to Peeta's for dinner at the weekends. Her brother no longer stays at hers and every time has to herself, she spends in her house.
I run across the Village to Delly's house and let myself in. The place is dark and cold, unlike Peeta's which always seems to be warm and welcoming. I walk across the threshold and check the kitchen for Delly. Its empty. I leave the bread on the table and go upstairs where she spends most of her time. I find her sitting on her bed with a book in her hands. She looks better than normal but I dont think she has taken Gale's hunting jacket off since we gave it to her when we cleaned out his house. "Hey. I brought you some bread from Peeta." I say to her.
"Thanks. And tell him thanks." She says, only looking up slightly before looking back down at her book.
"How are you?" I ask. I havent really had chance to talk to her since Gale died.
"I'm alright." She replies but she doesnt look so sure. I raise my right eyebrow at her and she lets out a shaky breathe. "Honestly?" I nod. "I'm fucking furious... I'm so uninterested in a life without Gale."
"I understand. I dont know what I would do if I lost Rye." I say and she smiles. "Anyway, I'll leave you alone. I left the bread on the table."
"Okay thanks. I'll see you later." I nod and walk out the room, then through the house and finally out the door.
I'm glad that she is doing better than she used to be. She is just a couple of steps away from being like she used to be. She used to always be so happy and always trying to cheer everyone else up but now she is just broken and I know that it takes time. I doubt she will ever stop wearing his jacket, I mean, come on, I'm still wearing my dads and I doubt that I'll ever stop wearing it. It means more to me than anything that I own.
"Done?" I hear from infront of me. I look up to see Peeta standing there holding a basket. "You wanna go?" I nod and he joins me at the bottom of the steps and we set off out of the Victors Village.
It takes us almost 2 hours to get to the lake but it was so worth it. The lake looks amazing today and the sky is unrealistically beautiful. There are only a few clouds in the sky but they are so perfect and the sun beaming down onto the clearing that the lake sits in. "This is amazing. I can see why you like it so much." Peeta says to me and I nod.
"I always feel like my dad is here when I come." I say to him. He doesnt reply but I know him well enough to know that he is smiling. "You're the first person that I have ever shared this with. I never brought Gale or Prim here." I look towards him and he's still smiling.
"Well I'm honered and I think I'm gonna have to come back here again sometime. Only with you though. I would never show anyone your secret place." He laughs slightly. "So what do you wanna do first?"
"I could... teach you to swim?" I ask and he looks a little scared at first. "Come on, its not that hard." He nods slightly and I take the basket off him to put it in the cabin. We dont want it to attract any unwanted animals. When I come back out, Peeta is standing on a rock by the lake watching me. The sun from the sky is reflecting off his blonde head and his blue eyes are shining more than I have ever seen before. "You ready?" I ask, ignoring how beautiful he looks right now.
"As ready as I'll ever be." I laugh at him ad he beckons me over. I strip off my top on the way there and I can feel Peeta's eyes on me. "Do I have to be in my underwear?" He asks.
"Well, its up to you. I prefer to swim in my underwear but if you want to swim with your clothes on then you will have to sit in your underwear for a couple hours, later to allow them to dry by the fire so its completely up to you." He nods, before coming to a conclusion that it would be a better idea to take off his clothes and he begins to undress himself. I have to use everything in me not to turn around and look at him as I untie my shoes and pull off my jeans. I do turn around though but only to run past him and jump in the lake. Its cold but not as cold as I expected it to be.
When I pull my head out of the water, Peeta is still standing on that rock, now in his boxer shorts. "Come on in. Its not that cold." I say and he dips his foot in it. Then his whole leg is in it. Then the water is up to his waist and eventually his whole body is in other than his head. I reach out and grab his hand and pull him closer to me so he is no longer standing on the bottom of the lake. He struggles at first and I have to grab hold of both his hands but within minutes of my instruction he gets the hang of floating. It is probably a lot harder for him because of his leg. He wouldnt be able to swim with just one leg though so he cant take it off. "You alright?" I ask but he just nods his reply. He still looks a little scared. "Its alright. Just take my hand and I'll guide you." He clamps his hand around mine and I start to swim backwards slowly. He follows, sort of. Its more like I drag him along.
It takes a good 2 hours but eventually, I'm able to teach him to swim. He still has difficult staying afloat because of his leg but he's getting used to it now. He can swim on his own but he cant stay still without standing on something. So he mostly just stays by my side.
By 4pm, we are both still in the water. I duck my head and swim under the water. I love doing this because it feels like its just you thats there. You cant hear anything else, its just you. That is until I feel something snake around my ankle and I jump up out of the water, only to be dragged backwards but whatever it is that has got me. Then I'm lifted up out of the water by strong arms. I realise now that the thing that snaked around my ankle was infact Peeta. He puts me up over his head and I dont even need time to know what he is going to do. I'm flying away from him before I even have time to protest. I hit the water and sink into it, quickly bringing myself back up to get payback but Peeta is already running away from the lake, leaving behind a trail of water. I swim as fast as I can to water edge and climb out onto the rock, setting off running after Peeta who seems to be laughing.
It doesnt take me long to catch him and I throw myself at him but he doesnt stumble much, just stops. I have my arms latched around his neck and my legs hanging as he is quite taller than me. "What are you doing?" He asks, placing his hands on his hips. I let go and put my feet back on the ground. He turns to me with a smile on his face. "Shall we go inside, its getting kind of chilly." I nod and we both collect our clothes before going inside to get started on our picnic infront of the fire. Peeta also brought his radio so that we can listen to some music. That is if we get any signal on it all the way out here, we should be able too though. The electricity tower that works all the districts technology is somewhere nearby, thats what my dad said anyway.
In the basket, there is a selection of sandwiches. Cheese, Ham, Jam, everything. With some chocolate biscuits that Peeta must have bought somewhere. He has also brought some cheese buns, 'especially for me'. There are 3 of them and I'm completely sure that I can eat them. I am surprsisingly very hungry, I doubt he will have any food left after this. "You want some?" Peeta asks me holding out a metal canteen full of something. "Its tea." I nod and he pours me a glass. I'd talk to him but my face is now full of a cheese bun. He laughs and pours my a cup, putting a couple sugars in and leaving his free of sugar.
After all the food is eventually gone, we get dressed again and sit infront of the fire, finishing off the last of the tea. "I had fun today." Peeta says to me and I smile in his direction.
"Me too." I reply. I glance out the window to assess what time it is. The sun is setting and it will be dark soon. "You know, we will have to set off for the district in a minute if we want to make curfew." After my last 'infraction' I dont know how they are going to deal with me being out past curfew.
"Well why dont we stay out here?" He asks.
"In the woods?" I reply. There are a lot of dangers out here at night. My dad never even wanted to stay out here.
"Yeh, there is a matress. We have clothes. A fire." He saying, nodding to the things on his little list.
"But its dangerous. What if something notices that we are in here?" I ask. I quickly glance over at the door and my bow that is standing up against the wall next to it. I'm gonna need that next to me if we do sleep out here.
"Well we will just have to be extra quiet and I think we will be fine with the best huntress in all of Panem." He winks slightly and I laugh, finally giving up.
"Ok fine, but if I die then you will have to explain to your brother what happened." I say. He laughs and gets up, leaving me on the floor by myself.
"Deal." He sticks out his hand to help me up off the floor and I take it. "I'm getting quite tired so what do you say we get this matress over here so we can get some sleep. We will have to set off early in the morning to get back to the district in time for work." I nod and we get to work on the matress.
Eventually its infront of the fire and we have all the blankets from the picnic and some that we found in the bathroom of the little cottage and a couple cushions from the corner where the matress originally was. The fire starts dying out so Peeta gets some of the wood that me and my dad must have put here years ago to get it going again. I start tidying up the food and and then we both collapse onto the matress. I fall asleep almost instatly, leaving Peeta to actually pick up the blankets and get them on the matress.
The next time I wake up, its light outside, which means we are late. "Peeta!" I shout, shooting up in bed and turning to see Peeta just waking up. "We're late!" He shoots up after me and I pull myself to my feet, forcefully shoving my shoes on my feet. Atleast we dont have to get changed or anything. That would just take too much time. The down part is that we are gonna have to run through the woods to get back to the district.
"Come one!" Peeta says. He's already at the door holding my coat for me. He already has his on. "We will leave everything here." I nod and we are out the door in a flash.
The woods are quiet this morning except from the hurried footsteps of my and Peeta running. I think I hear something running in the oposite direction, trying to get away from us but I cant be sure. It could have been anything. By the position of the sun, I'm guessing that it is already 8 in the morning, which means the Bakery opened 2 hours ago. I wouldnt be surprised if Rye is freaking out.
I stash my bow and arrows in its usual log and we slide quietly under the fence in the seam. We could have gone through the fence near town but then we would have to run all the way round and we dont have time for that. We can just run through the seam and get to town this way. I dont think I have stopped running since we left the cottage. I've had to slow down to let Peeta catch up a couple of times but not much. He seems to have got the hang of his leg finally. All this running and stress can not be good for the baby.
We make it to the Bakery by half 9. There isnt anyone in reception which I kind of expected considering it is actually my job and if I'm not in its Peeta's job. The odd thing is how quiet it is. I cant hear the usual chaos in the back or the sound of the ovens going which you can normally hear from outside, let alone in here. "Whats going on?" Peeta asks by my side and I shrug my shoulders. We walk through to the back and I hardly have any time to call anyones name when I feel a pair of arms being thrown around me, knocking my off balance.
"Where the hell have you two been?" Rye asks, pulling away from me and looking from me to Peeta. He is holding me at arms length and I can feel him trembling slightly.
"We were in the woods. We feel asleep. Dont worry we were safe next to a fire." I reply.
"Dont do that to me! I seriously thought something had happened. I was ringing Peeta's like crazy since yesterday afternoon when you didnt show up like you promised. I rang Haymitch who told your mum." He says and my heart stops slightly. I cant believe he told my mum, she must be worried sick. With the whole baby thing aswell.
"What! You told my mum!" I ask him, pulling away from him completely.
"I didnt know what else to do!" His eyes are wide now as if he is still scared about something even though I'm here and I'm standing right infront of him.
"You could have left it alone! dont you trust me at all?" I ask him. I know he trusts me but he cant trust me completely if he didnt think I would come back.
"Of course I do! I was just scared!" He tries to reach for me but I push him away. After all those times that he dissapeared, I never said anything about it to his face and I leave for one night and all hell breaks loose.
"Well dont be! I dont need you looking over my shoulder every minute of everyday! I was with Peeta! We were fine, we had eachother!" I shout at him and his face softens slightly but there is still a flicker of something across his face, jealousy.
"Just you two? Alone?" He asks and I sigh.
"You getting jealous?" I ask him. I would normally say that in a playful tone but I cant muster it with all the anger surging through my body right now.
"Jealous? About what?" He asks, trying to brush it off like its nothing.
"About the fact that it was me that dissapeared for once instead!" I shout louder and walk away from him. I know he isnt following me, probably too startled to say anything. I can hear Peeta walking behind me though as I walk up the stairs to get changed into some of the clothes that I have left here over the past year and a half. And its not until now, where my anger has reached its hottest point and I feel like I'm about to explode with insults at whoever is around, that I realise that its my 17th birthday.
We all spend the rest of the day, working, just like anyother day. I spend all my time in the front this time. After my fight with Rye, I dont think I want to see him right now. Peeta keeps coming out to check on me though. Everytime I see him walk through the door, I think about telling him about the baby but everytime I'm about to do it, something happens, like his dad calls him back into the kitchen or a customer walks through the door. I have to tell him today though and I plan too. I'm still mad at myself that I didnt tell him yesterday, I cant be more mad at myself.
I'm actually more scared to tell Peeta than I am Rye. I dont care if Rye hates me, I dont care if he ridicules me and tells me that he never wants to see me again as long as I have Peeta. If Peeta told me that he hated me I dont think I would be able to go on living to be honest. All the hatred I feel for Rye right now just makes me want to tell him even more so that it would make everything so much easier and he would just break up with me and leave. But the only problem is that I dont want to do that to either him or Peeta. I cant make them hate eachother, they are brothers, that would be wrong. I would be completely broken if my sister hated me.
"Katniss, we have run out again, time to close up." Masan says from behind me and I glance up at the clock. Its only 1:35pm. Its quite early to be closing up now. I guess if we dont have anything to give, we cant keep it open though.
"Okay, you need help?" I ask. I normally do help but sometimes he tells me that he doesnt need help.
"If thats not a problem?" I nod and get up to shut the blinds on the door and the windows next to the door. "Happy Birthday by the way. I didnt have time to tell you this morning with everything that happened and with all the customers we seemed to have today but happy birthday anyway. I got you a present."
"You didnt have too." I smile. He gets me a present every year even though I tell him not too. I think I have only ever got him one present in my life but that is only because I never have enough to get him anything but now that I actually have a job I might be able to pay him back for all the presents that he has bought me over the years.
"Well I wanted to." He smiles back at me and I nod. I never win this fight so what is the point in starting it again.
After all the closing up and tidying up is done, we go into the back for something to eat. As soon as I get through to the kitchen where the table has been pulled out for our dinner, I come face to face with Rye. "Katniss, I'm sorry." He says and I cross my arms over my chest and look at him. "I shouldnt have told your mum, I know I shouldnt, and I do trust you. I just need to know that you dont hate me?"
"Rye, I dont hate you, I just got annoyed, I'm sorry too." I wrap my arms around him middle and he buries his face in my hair. "I love you."
"I love you too." He replies. I dont know if it was being annoyed at him or wether it was just my imagination but he said it weird. It was almost as if he didnt mean it, but with further thinking and analysing myself, did I mean it?
"You want some food?" He asks and I nod. I take his hand as he leads me to the table and sits me down in my usual place next to him. Everyone else joins us with the food and I'm about to dig in when Masan raises his glass.
"This is to Katniss Everdeen, the daughter I never had. Happy 17th Birthday. Big day for anyone planning on getting married. Rye you better get your thoughts together and be a man." Rye lets out a laugh. "Anyway, we have all been through a lot recently and I am so glad that nothing happened to you. To Katniss Everdeen." Everyone raises their glasses and I smile, raising mine too. 'Katniss Everdeen' everyone says in unison.
The meal goes on, well it was only one course so I dont think you can call it a meal but it was still really nice and really fun. After the food was gone, we all just sit there and talk just about eveything. The whole time, I'm just letting everyone else talk. I cant stop the thoughts running around in my head. I've just turned old enough to get married and I'm here torn between 2 men. One: I am still dating and he might have done wrong but he is one of the nicest people I ever met and he has always made me so happy. The other: He is my best friend. We know literally everything about eachother, he never lies to me. We have a connection that not even Rye understands, he would never leave me and plus, I'm carrying his baby.
This past couple of weeks though, Rye has been distant. He might not mean to, or he might mean to but he has. He made me feel like it was my fault when I havent been doing anything different. Peeta though has this massive past which still affects him more than I would ever understand. I dont know wether I would be able to deal with that forever. Maybe the reason that I never wanted to love him was because I was with Rye. I do remember a time when I loved him even if I was just a child. Could it be that I started dating Rye because I thought that I was never going to see Peeta again? I need to tell him about all this. The baby, the thoughts, Everything, before this gets even worse, maybe he can help me sort it out. "Peeta? Can I talk to you? In private?" I whisper to him so no-one else hears. They would just ask questions. He looks up from pulling faces at Holly and nods.
"Yeh." He replies and we both pull up from our chairs. Rye, Masan and Leaven are all deep in conversation though so they dont even notice. "Whats up?" He asks me once we are out of the room.
I decide to just tell him off straight away. There isnt any way to sugar-coat it. "Peeta... There is no easy way to say this but... I'm pregnant." He doesnt react at first but when he does, its not surprise I see in his eyes, Its hurt, jealousy.
"Well, why are you telling me and not your boyfriend?" He asks, stepping away from me slightly as if I was some sort of disease. suddenly, I feel so alone.
"Because its not his..." I say rather too quickly and Peeta's face grows pale. I have to hold his arm to stop him from falling backwards.
"Wait... Erm... Wait, W-What?" He mumbles.
"I'm Pregnant with your baby Peeta." I feel he already knew that.
"Yeah... Erm... Oh god..." Despite my hold on his arms, he loses his footing and falls backwards into a table, stacked with pans that someone forgot to put away. The pans fall off the table, clattering loudly on the floor.
"Is everything okay out there?" Rye shouts from the kitchen.
"Yeah... Peeta slipped." I shout back, not pulling my eyes away from Peeta's face, remembering how I reacted when I found out. What am I going to say to everyone if he faints?
"Clumsy idiot!" Rye shouts back and then I hear him spark up another conversation with his father.
"Peeta, say somthing?" I say to him, all he can do though is stare at my stomach.
"How did this happen...How could we let this happen?" He gets out. I step closer to him and help him to his feet off the table that he is cuurently sat on.
"I'm pretty sure you know the answer to that Peeta. We where in the same class when we learnt it." I say, slightly sarcastically.
"Very funny. What are we gonna tell Rye? He's gonna kill me." He's now looking at me.
"We dont."
"What?"
"Peeta, I already talked to my mother about this. She says with the correct plants and the right amount of time we can make this whole thing go away..." I say to him. I've been thinking about this since I found out. I never actually talked to my mother about it, I just looked through her old books that she let me read about pregnancy. I still have them on my nightstand at home.
"Katniss... No..." He replies. His eyes are really wide now, almost scary.
"This baby cant be born Peeta, you and I both know that." If I got rid of this baby, all our problems would go away and we can carry on living like we did before.
Peeta regains his footing fully and grabs me by the shoulders. His face slightly less pale than it was before. "Katniss, you haven't seen what I've seen, You havent been through what I've been through. Killing children is wrong and there is no way in hell that I am letting you kill my child. It is not going to happen." I can feel my heart breaking at every syllable. I dont want this baby to die either but its for everyone else's benefits not my own.
"Then that is why you should think this is a good idea. I'm not killing the baby, I'm saving it from this world." I point out. I'm surprised he even wants a kid in this word because I sure as hell dont.
"This isnt going to solve anything Katniss. You know its not." He says.
"Peeta, You are not going to change my mind, My mum already knows and I'm collecting the plants tomorrow." I know its a lie but I was actually going to talk to my mother tonight so that I could collect the plants tomorrow so my mum could make the stuff tomorrow night and then it will be sorted within the week.
"Katniss please?" I can see the tears threatening to fall from his eyes. Thats when I feel myself break.
"I - I cant do this..." I get out as the tears begin to fall. "Its tearing me apart inside. I dont know what to do anymore."
He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his chest, buring his face in my hair, I can hear his heart beating fast in his chest and I wrao my arms around him. "We can get through this Katniss, Come on, this is me and you we are talking about, remember, we can do anything. You have to promise me that you will not do anything to that baby."
"Ok." I say finally giving up.
Suddenly, he pushes me away and holds me at arms length, making me miss his arms and his warmth."What if you say that its his?"
"Because its not his and I couldnt do that to you." That would kill Peeta, watching his own brother bring up his child.
"Well How do you know that its mine and not his?" He asks, letting my arms go.
"Because my mother told me that the time of that the baby would have been concieved was about Febuary and I didnt sleep with Rye until a couple of weeks ago." I reply and he nods.
"Oh ok well we need to say that its his." He says.
"Peeta I cant lie to him like that!"
"Well what else do we have?"
"Why cant we just tell him the truth. He deserves to know." I ask. However much he has lied to me over this past couple of months about where he has been, I wouldnt be able to do that do him.
"As much as it pains me. Considering its mine, I cant do that to him. He's my brother and he's important to me Katniss!"
"He's important to me too Peeta! Thats why we need to tell him!"
"Okay well we can figure it out later. Lets just enjoy your birthday." Oh yeh, my birthday.
"Okay. Thank you." I reply and we walk back into the kitchen. I can see all this blowing up in our faces. It cant stay hidden forever. Rye is going to find out eventually and me and Peeta are going to be in huge trouble. Rye is going to hate us bothe forever, I just hope that the time we tell him is sooner rather than later, I wouldnt be able to watch him bring up the baby and then learn that it was never his.
"Katniss, we have one last birthday surprise for you." Masan says as I walk through the door to the kitchen. "If you would follow me." He lead me back out the kitchen door and over to the back door. Rye is standing at my side. Peets is behind us with Leaven and Holly who is on his back as he offered her a piggy back ride. "Ready?" He asks and I nod slightly. I have no idea what to expect right now. He pulls open the door and before my eyes can actually adjust to what is happening, I hear a very loud "Surprise!" ring through my ears. I cant believe it, nobody has ever thrown me a surprise party before.
I assess who is here. Mum, Prim and Uncle Haymitch are standing at the front with bags in their hands. Rory, Vick, Posy and Hazelle are here, standing off to the side with Delly and Harvey. Madge is here with River Cassus, Peeta's friend. I didnt even know they knew eachother. Logan and Rosie from the blacksmiths are here. Brooke, Bailie and their parents are here. Well Brooke was here earlier but she left when we where having our meal so that she could go and see what her parents where doing.
Masan ushers everyone inside and I'm almost showered with Presents. I think I'm living in a dream, this cant be possible. I cant be getting this many presents. Rye has to help me carry them all upstairs to where Peeta, Rye and Masan put theirs for me. Which is actually on the matress in Holly's old room. When I get back downstairs, there is music on and a couple people have already started drinking and surprise, surprise, Rye leaves me and goes straight over to the drinks. I follow him and grab some orange juice. He picks up a whiskey and offers me one which I decline obviously. Then I leave him by himself and retreat to the sofa's where I sit and drink my juice.
"Katniss?" Someone asks from the door and I look up to see Peeta. I smile and he comes in and sits next to me. "How are you?" He asks.
"I'm alright. Thanks for the party and everything. I have a feeling you had something to do with it." He smiles, playing with the drink of Cider in his hands. "Dont get too drunk."
"I wont." He laughs and I laugh along. "Do you want to dance?" I dont even have to think about it before I nod. We leave our drinks on the coffee table and join everyone else, dancing.
For the rest of the night whilst Rye gets drunk, I talk to just about everyone and dance with a couple of people, like Uncle Haymitch, Masan and River at one point because he said that he wanted to get to know me properly so that we could be friends. I can see why Peeta chose him as a friend, he is actually very nice. Peeta had become friends with River around the time that I became friends with Gale and Madge so I never got to talk to River properly. About halfway through the party, Aymee came down and started shouting, scaring just about everyone. Until Masan told her to go back upstairs and he gave her some pills. She agreed and left luckily. At the end of the party, we say goodbye to everyone. They all had to leave before it got dark. Logan and Rosie leave first. Then Madge leaves, her father comes to pick her up. Thats when The Hawthornes leave. Then River. Delly and Harvey go back to the Victors Village with Uncle Haymitch and lastly, Mum and Prim leave just before it gets dark. I hope they make it home inside. Thats when I get to open all my presents which it wouldnt surprise me if I needed some help with.
Rye is almost passed out on the sofa, not far from me, so Peeta and Leaven go upstairs to get my presents. Its only 8pm so Holly is still down here and Brooke is still awake and she keeps looking at me like she knows that something is wrong with me. Mother always said that other Pregnant women can tell when someone is pregnant. I might have to stay away from Brooke for a while. Bailie is still here. She isnt sleeping over though, Leaven is going to help her jump the backyard fence later. That should be funny to see. Apparently she does it alot though.
"Right here they are little miss birthday girl." Leaven says from the door and he comes in dropping some presents on the table, followed by Peeta who only has a couple presents in his arms.
First I open the one that I got from Masan. Its an apron. On the front, It says Katniss. "I thought that you might want your own now that you are a full time employee. He smiles and I smile back. All the Mellarks already have their own that has their names on the front and now instead of using the old tatty one, I have one of my own.
Second, I open the one from Peeta and Holly. Its a little bracelet made of string, with a little metal arrow in the middle of it. The string is tied around it to keep it in. "Thank you." I say to Peeta and Holly. Holly bouncews in excitement and Peeta just smiles at me.
From Rye I got bouquet of flowers. Autumn Hawkbit to be precise. I'm about to ask him how he got them but he's already passed out. Normally, you can only get these from June to October and they only grow in the depth's of the woods. It must have been hard for him to get. He always did know that I love yellow flowers. Mainly dandelions but these are also great.
From River I got just a simple book about flowers. From Delly and Harvey I got a foret green long sleeved button down shirt and some black jeans to finish it off. From Brooke and Bailie I got a wolly jumper, a blue one. Leaven got me a pair of grey socks, the same wooliness of the jumper. Madge got me a new leather jacket. Leather unlike anything I have ever seen in the district. Logan and Rosie got me or made me a little metal Katniss tubor on a key ring. From Uncle Haymitch I got my very own radio, a battery powered one so I dont have to worry about the electricity going out. Lastly, Mum and Prim got me a picture. Not just any picture. A picture that I remember being taken. My Mother, My Father and Masan stand at the back of the picture smiling. 14 year old Leaven is standing at one side of them and 10 year old Rye stands at the other. 8 year old me and Peeta stand in the front, in the middle with our arms around eachother. Then you get 4 year old Prim sitting in the front playing with some bricks. It was the day of my 8th birthday. One of the best days of my life. Before all this mess happened and before my father died. The thought brings tears to me eyes.
"Whats wrong?" Peeta asks me, obviously seeing the tears. In answer I hand him the picture and watch as his eyes flicker towards my father. He knows how much I went through when my father died. Infact he would come with me every day for a year after school to wait outside the mines to see if he would still come out. "I remember that day. It was really fun."
"Yes it was." I reply and silence falls for a minute before Masan speaks up.
"Okay well now thats over, what do you say we all go to bed. Peeta, you can sleep in Rye's room with Katniss and Holly. There is still a matress in there from last night." We nod and Leaven starts to help me clean away all the rubbish on the table. "We will just leave him down here." Masan says, motioning towards Rye who seems perfectly comfortable passed out on the sofa. I feel my face fall and the tears prickle my eyes. I had tried to shut out the fact that he is drunk but its becoming quite hard now. He needs help. I need to talk to him about it.
"Its gonna be alright." Leaven whispers in my ear before leaving the room.
"Trust me, nothing is going to be alright." I reply. Something inside of me is telling me that nothing is going to be alright for a long time yet. Its just going to be one bad thing after another.
I hope you liked it. I ejoyed writing it. Next chapter is realy interesting!1 Please leave me a review.