Chapter 12 - Crumbling down.
When I wake up, the first thing I see is a head of long blonde hair. Sometime during the night, Holly had climbed out of Peeta's bed and into mine. After what happened last time and what I told Peeta yesterday, we didnt think it would be a good idea for us to sleep in the same bed. Its Monday today so I have to go back into school. Luckily, it should be an easy day though. First though I need to talk to Rye. I told myself that I would talk to him this morning. Not about the baby but about everything else. All the drinking. I have talked to him about it before but I wasnt harsh and I think that was the problem. I pull myself up, leaving Holly in bed. She should be able to make her own way down. Peeta's bed is empty which means he is probably already downstairs. He doesnt have school so he has to help open the bakery. The alarm clock on Rye's floor alerts me that its already 5:23am. They will be putting the finishing touches on the baked goods and getting ready to open the bakery.
I pull on my clothes from yesterday and walk down the teo flights of stairs. I'm not surprised at all to see Rye still passed out on the sofa that we left him on. Normally if he has been drinking the night before, Masan just leaves him to wake up by himself. Not me though. I walk over and kick his leg. He jolts awake, then complains about a headache. "What the hell!" He shouts, looking up at me with one eye open and one eyes closed. HIs hand on his forehead.
"Get up! I need to talk to you." I reply to him.
"Whats the problem?" He pulls himself up into a sitting position and looks at me. I can tell by the look in his eyes that he is really annoyed with me waking him up like this but I dont care because I'm annoyed at him too.
"You are." I say and his brow furrows.
"What?" He asks, obviously confused. I dont see why he should be though. He should know by now that he is irritating me.
"You're the problem Rye, I'm serious I dont know how much longer I can keep this up. For the past few months, all I've ever done is pick you up off the floor and be there when you dont have a clue wants going are always drunk and I would have thought you would know by now how much that hurts me after what happened to my uncle. You need to quit drinking Rye." I say straight. He looks at me for a second before answering.
"Its not like I drink all the time." As if. Thats the best thing he could come up with? Shows how much he cares.
"Yes you do Rye, everytime I'm around you, you always seem to be either drunk or hungover. I've talked to your brothers and your father about it and they all agree with me. You need help Rye, this cant carry on because I cant stand to be with someone who I can hardly even talk to properly."
"Its harder than you think to stop drinking Katniss. Its not easy." He says, ducking his head in either shame or fake shame.
"Yeh but thats the problem. You're not even trying. Thats what really annoys me." I say and his head shoots up, hatred in his eyes. I feel like I should step back before he hits me or something but instead I stand my ground.
"I'm going through a hard time right now Katniss. And you are not helping at all." Is all he says.
"What hard time?" I ask.
"Its just that my life is hard."
If he knew everything I have been through recently, he would feel different. "And mine isnt? Everything in my life is messed up! YOU NEED TO STOP THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF RYE AND THINK ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE FOR A CHANGE! LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND!" My voice has become really loud now.
"I DO THINK ABOUT YOU KATNISS! ALL THE TIME!" He pulls himself up to his feet, his face inches from mine, I can pretty much feel the anger coming from him.
"Well you dont show it." I say a little quiter, making sure not to annoy anyone else but its too late, I hear someone walk into the room. I can tell by the footsteps that its Peeta. "I HATE THIS RYE! I HATE WHAT YOURE DOING TO ME!" I shout, poking his chest. I feel on the verge of tears now but I hold it in.
"ITS NOT MY FAULT THAT YOU CANT GET A HOLD ON THINGS AND DEAL WITH LIFE!" I can feel my anger bubbling over the top now.
"AND ITS NOT MY FAULT THAT YOU ARE A DRUNK ASSHOLE THAT DOESNT THINK ABOUT ANYONE ELSE BUT YOURSELF!" I dont even regret saying it. He never thinks about anyone else but himself and he probably knows that deep down somewhere in there. Suddenly, I feel a a stinging sensation on the side of my face, knocking my head to the side. Did Rye actually just slap me? I'm pushed back by a body, Peeta probably. I pull my face up and all I see is the back of Peeta's shirt as he stands between me and Rye. I see Rye storm past me and a couple seconds later, I hear the back door slam, rattling the floor beneath my feet. Peeta turns around to me and my legs buckle underneath me. Peeta catches me and helps me to a chair just as the tears fall. Thats when Leaven, Masan and Brooke walk through the door.
"What the hell was that." Leaven asks and I bury my face in my hands so that none of them can see me cry. Peeta on the other hand has seen my cry quite a few times.
"Whats wrong?" Masan adds.
"Katniss its going to be alright. He will come round." Peeta says from infront of me. He is knelt on the floor and I can feel the warmth of his hands on my knees. I let go of my face and throw my arms around him, crying into his shoulder.
"What happened?" Leaven asks.
"Rye hit her. They had an argument." Peeta replies over my head.
"Oh god. I'll go and find him." He replies. Brooke lets out a sigh as if she knew this was going to happen eventually.
"No Lev leave it. If he wants to come back he will." Masan says. I can tell by his voice that he is rather annoyed.
A couple minutes later, Masana and Leaven leave to open the shop and Brooke goes to wake up Holly. I stay there with Peeta with his arms around me. "I cant believe you would want someone like that bringing up your child." I whisper into his shoulder.
"I guess thats something I will have to put up with." He replies but I can hear the hurt in his voice.
When I have calmed down he pulls me away from him and assesses my face. "Okay its still very red. He must have hit you really hard. That might leave a mark around your eye." Oh great. My mum is going to be asking questions. What the hell am I meant to say to her?
"I guess this means that me and Rye are officially broken up." I say to Peeta and he laughs. I laugh in return. Not because its funny but mainly because I need to try and cheer myself up. I cant afford to fall apart, not now.
"Do you want me to walk you up to school?" He asks me and I smile slightly. He is so caring. Why in the world did I choose Rye when his little brother is and always has been so much better.
"Its up to you. Do you want to?" I ask. I'm pretty sure I'll be completely fine walking up by myself but it would be nice to have some company for once other than Rye who insists that he walks up with me every morning. Unless he is passed out obviously which seems to be most morning these days.
"I can." He replies and I nod. "You know if you ever need to talk to someone then I'm here for you." I cant help the smile that creeps up onto my face and his lips curl up into a smile that I'm sure mirrors mine.
"Shall we go?" I ask him. Its too early to be setting off but I do need to talk to him about baby stuff. He catches what I mean and nods, pulling himself up as I do the same.
We leave the Bakery as fast as we can and set off down the road out of earshot of anyone and keep walking until we are on the back alley of the shops on this side of the square. Peeta stops me and I turn to him. "Whats up?" He asks.
"I just need to talk to you about all this. I need to know, are you sure about me telling Rye its his?" I ask him.
"Yes. I can't have my brother hate me Katniss and its not like I wont be able to see my child, they just wont know who I actually am but I can live with that." He says but I can sense a litle break in his voice. I dont even know why he tries to lie to me.
"Okay well, I know you will never agree to my mums help so it looks like I'm gonna have a baby but what about school and everything. I'm gonna be giving up everything to take care of a child and I'm gonna have to get a job so that I can pay for it all. This is going to change my life completely. I dont even know how Rye is going to take it, what if he doesnt want to be a father? What if he wants to get rid of it?" My head is racing with thoughts and Peeta is the only person I can talk to about it. I hope he knows that and doesnt think that I am just shouting at the closest person.
"Then, you have to promise me that you will persuade him against it?" Peeta says. "You have to promise me that nothing is going to happen to that baby?" He looks desperate now.
"I promise but I cant promise for Rye. It seems that recently, I dont know his mind. I dont know wether he is lying anymore. He seems to have got really good at it." I say to him and he nods. Atleast he has noticed it too.
"Well, I will be here for you every step of the way and besides if he wants to get rid of the baby, its not his decision, its yours. He doesnt have to raise this baby if he doesnt want, I will always be there for you to fall on if you need me." I dont say anything in reply, I just wrap my arms around middle and his go around my shoulders, his face in my hair. He squeezes but I let out a yelp of pain. Its seems I made the stupid decision to place my sore face against him. "Anyway, lets get you to school." I pull away and nod at him and we set off walking back down the back alley an up the dirt road to school where I find Prim.
"Hey, Little Duck." I say to her and she smiles. When she turns around and looks at me, her face falls in shock.
"What happened to you?" She asks, trying to poke my cheek but I swat her hand away slowly so that she cant.
"Oh nothing, I just fell at the Bakery this morning." I lie. She would freak out and tell my mum if she found out the truth and my mum would kill me and Rye.
"Katniss?" She raises one eyebrow in question. I forgot that Prim can see right through me.
"Okay fine." I lean in close to her. "Rye hit me but you have to promise not to tell mum?"
"I promise." She smiles sadly and I smile back. If Prim promises something then it is a promise forever thats one of the things I love most about her. I cant tell you how many secrets I have told Prim and she has kept. "Hey Peeta."
"Hi, Primrose. How are you today?" Peeta asks.
"I'm great what about you?" Prim replies. They always act so formal around eachother and its quite funny actually. I dont know wether they are doing it on purpose or thats just how they talk to eachother because neither of them do it with anyone else.
"I'm good but anyway, I better be going, School is starting in a minute and I'm not actually meant to be here anymore." He laughs and leans in to give me a hug. Luckily Prim turns away and runs off when Peeta says, "Look after you both." Then kisses me on the head. I pull away first and nod before he leaves the school gates just as the bell rings and I'm pretty much pushed into the school doors by the crowd and doomed to another day of boredem.
For the rest of the day, I just watch out windows like I normally do. The class' going on around me. At dinner, I sit with Madge but I normally do anyway. I have a visit from Delly at dinner who just came over to see how I was because I looked 'away with the faries' apparently. It sounds like something you say to your children when they dont pay attention to you but oh well. She left not long after and let me enjoy my food. Which went really quickly by the way and I ended up getting some of Madge's that she didnt want. She does sometimes give me here food. As she puts it, she has a lot of food at home so I can have this. Its also quite helpful to me because I'm nearly always hungry these days.
After dinner, I have lessons again. I dont even pat attention to what lesson I have never mind what they are talking about in the lesson. I just want to get out of here and go home. Everybody knows that nothing interesting ever happens in school. Except one thing that I kept hearing about today. First I heard someone mention it whilst we where waiting outside out first classroom and then at Dinner. Then at break just before our last lesson. They where all talking about some sort of an important message by the president himself that should be on tonight. It might have something to with why Peeta has to go to the Capitol tomorrow. I'm sad to see him go but if he has to go then he doesnt have a choice. We have made arangements to talk though. He secretly gave me the key to his house so that I could go to his house at a certain time on 3 nights the week he is away because he can only ring the Victors Village's houses from the Capitol.
When the day finally finishes, I'm one of the first out of the door. I just cant wait to go back home after work. I'm only working for a couple of hours though so it shouldnt be too long. Hopefully, we run out quickly like normal. They might have already run out. I just want to get into my own bed for once. It feels like a lifetime ago when I slept in it.
At the Bakery, the place is quiet. I check the front of the shop, everything has been closed up and the lights are off. The sitting room is empty and I check upstairs quickly, thats empty too except from Mrs Mellark who is out cold. Thats when I hear the downstairs phone ring. I run to answer it, as Masan said that this phone must be answered everytime it rings. "Hello, Mellark Bakery?" I say through the phone, catching my breath.
"Katniss? You alright?" Peeta asks from the other side.
"Yeh, fine... I just ran down the stairs to get the phone. Where are you guys?" I ask him.
"We are all at mine. There is some kind of mandatory message tonight. Your mum and sister are here too. Haymitch too. And Delly. I'd like it if you could join us. I've made Dinner, I know you must be hungry." I am very hungry but do I really want to go over to Peeta's now? "Come on Please Katniss. I know you and I know you're questioning it right now but I made cheese buns? Plus I'm leaving tomorrow." I sigh. He knows how much I love cheese buns.
"Ok fine but not for long, I'm really tired."
"Great! Well, could you do us a favour and lock the back door for me when you leave the Bakery, The key is on the table in the sitting room. We left it open because we knew you didnt have a key. I'll see you soon, Bye, Be careful." He hangs up and I groan. He knows that I'm careful and of course I'm going to be careful, I dont have just myself to think of anymore, does he really think I'm that selfish.
I grab the key from the sitting room and gulp down a glass of water from the kitchen. Then I take one of the leftover cookies from the side and I leave the Bakery. Its only a 10 minute walk to Peeta's but I dont like walking through the square anymore, not after my whipping. I always feel like the peackeepers are watching me and they probably are, it wouldnt surprise me, I did technically commit a crime, even I didnt own up to it. I walk faster and am in the Victors Village in no time, plus I've also tired myself out even more and I have to lean against the door frame after I've rang the door bell. Peeta answers and I stumble through the door. He grabs me a chair and which I take. "I'm fine, just tired." I tell him and he gets everybody else so that we can start dinner.
Peeta did me a huge favour and hid all the alcohol so that Rye cant touch it, so that means that Rye ends up on hot chocolate which he apparently 'adores'. I dont think I've ever heard him use that word before. Normally because he's too drunk to say anything other than my name. I laugh at him as he devours the cup and has to make another one. I glance to the side of me and catch Holly singing a song that I've never even heard before. She catches my eye and stops singing and pulls a face as if she never was, causing me to laugh at her. I reach over and start tickling her. Watching her like this, without a care in the world is probably one of the cutest things I have ever seen. How hard can this child thing be really? I always had a way with Holly and I've always looked after Prim well enough, she turned out more compassionate and caring that I could have ever hoped. Could it be that I'm looking forward to being a mother? The only problem is; How is Rye going to take being a 'father'? I need to tell him now! I'm about to get up to talk to him when he pulls me away and out the room to talk to me.
"Katniss, about what I did earlier, I just want you to know how sorry I am." He says to me, I can see real sorrow in his eyes. He really is sorry about it.
"I dont care about your apologies Rye. I still stick by what I said. You need help." I reply. Its true he does. I am determined to get him help too. I dont know where I'm going to find it though. Maybe Uncle Haymitch could help.
"I know Katniss and I'm gonna try. Honestly I will but if you dont like it then I think we should break up. I love you so much but all we do is argue all the time and i dont think thats gonna work." Now that I was not expecting.
"We cant break up." I say but he starts shaking his head.
"Look I dont want to either but you dont seem to like me anymore." He says. I do like him but I liked the old him more than this drunk who always seems to be dissapearing.
"I do like you its just that sometimes you can be an ass." I tell him. I expect him to get annoyed but he doesnt.
"Yeh I know." Is all he replies with.
"Then you need to sort it out. I dont want to break up with you Rye, you know I dont." I say a little more harshly than I meant. Its the damn hormones.
"Ok good. If we are going to make this work and I'm going to try to quit drinking then you need to start opening up to me." Oh great, now he is getting angry.
"W-what do you mean?"
"Youre different Katniss. There is something wrong with you, I know there is. You've been acting strange and you havent told me what is wrong with you."
"There is nothing wrong with me." I say, standing my ground but I've never been a good liar and I know that he can see right through me.
"Yeh there is."
"No there isnt."
"See this is what I'm talking about! You cant keep lying to me Katniss!" He shouts in my face, I back off slightly, afraid of a repeat from this morning and I hear the door pen behind us and not just one set of footsteps but 4. Great now we have an audience.
"I'm not lying to you! There is nothing wrong with me! I'm completely fine." I say to him.
"Katniss!" He shouts. He's demanding now and I know I'm not going to lie my way out of this one.
"There is nothing wrong with me-" I try again but he stops me with a hand which he has never done before.
"FINE! IF YOU DONT WANT TO TELL ME THEN I THINK ITS ABOUT TIME WE-" I stop him before he says break up with the same way he did, by putting a hand in his face.
"RYE LISTEN TO ME! THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME EXACTLY. ITS NOT SOMETHING WRONG ITS SOMETHING GOOD." I shout back with the same intenstiy as he's using.
"What do you mean?" He asks, atleast he has finally gone quiet.
"I'm pregnant..." I say and brace myself for the amount of shouting that is about to come from behind me, I'm scared to turn aroud because I know for a fact that Peeta is behind me.
"What?" Rye asks, stunned.
"What?" Leaven says from behind me.
"What?" Masan adds.
"Scuse me?" That was Brooke.
I take a chance and turn around, hoping that I dont come face to face with Peeta but I do. He has a tear in his eye but his mouth is happy. A smile that I never expected to see on his face in this moment but a smile that I also know to be fake. He's used that smile on me so many times. "I'm sorry you didnt learn about it earlier but I am pregnant. I havent been for long, I didnt know how to tell any of you." I say to them.
"Did anyone else know?" Rye asks. I turn back around to face him.
"My mother." I reply. I wonder where she is actually. I'm surprised her and Prim didnt come out to hear the shouting. Unless Masan asked them to stay with Holly.
"I cant believe this." Rye says and I'm half expecting him to start talking to me about getting rid of it.
"I know." I say still looking at him.
"This is... AMAZING! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!" He shouts, taking me by surprise and picking me up, spinning me around then placing me back on the ground and kissing me with such intensity that its easy to forget about everything for atleast a second.
At 7pm, we all gather around the tv for the message from Snow. All night the only talk around the table has been about me, which I expected but it got very annoying after a while. "Good evening Panem! Caesar Flickerman here, coming to you live from the Capitol where President Snow is just getting ready for his speech. Now I know that many of you have been wondering what this is all about. Well I am here to tell you. Tonight the President of Panem will read the card with the twist for the third quarter quell but before we do so , lets take a re-cap of the other two..."
"I didnt think they would be doing that until about a month before the games." Peeta says.
"I guess they changed it this time." Uncle Haymitch replies.
Caesar Flickerman starts talking about the first Quarter Quell where all citizens over the age of 18 had to vote for which child should go into the Hunger Games from their district. I bet that was horrible, I'm surprised anyone was actually able to vote. Except in District 2 they probably had no problem with it. Infact some of them probably voted for their own children so that they could be popular around the world which is just downright sick.
The second Quarter Quell, the one that Uncle Haymitch won wasn't as bad but twice as harder as twice as many tributes went into the Hunger Games. I bet they where all surprised when a tribute from District 12 made it out of that alive. Well I guess they are, Uncle Haymitch is somewhat of a nationaly celebrity in the Capitol. Not as much as Finnick but I guess he has his own reasons to be famous in the Capitol. "Now for the reading of the card." Caesar Flickerman says and the screen cuts to Snow standing on a stage. We all hold out breathes.
"On this, the 75th Year of The Hunger Games. We mark the Third Quarter Quell with a twist, as usual." He slips his finger under the lid to the envelope and pulls it up to open it. Then takes the card out and I can feel my pamls sweating. "This years tributes are to be doubled just like last time but oh, there's another twist. 2 are to be reaped amongst the citizens of each district with an age stretch of 11 to 20." Only one thought runs through my head. Rye. We thought it was over for him and I guess it isnt anyore. "The last 2 tributes are to be reaped on the existing pool of victors." I feel the tears fall from my eyes.
"No." Masan lets out in a sort of moan. I glance at Peeta. His eyes are glued to the tv set. Then I glance around the room. There is only one person in this room right now that is definitely going back into the arena, Delly. She lets out a cry. "He's doing this because of me and Gale, I know he is. We both survived and this is our reward; to die."
"Delly, its not just your fault. I'm caught up in all this aswell." Peeta says. How is he in all this? He had nothing to with both of them surviving.
"Me too." I say. "He thought I was having an affair with Gale. He's coming for us all." I say and climb up off the sofa, leaving the room and falling onto the stairs. I cant believe this is happening. After Gales death, you would think that he would leave us alone for a while but no, he had to pull a stunt like this. What about Uncle Haymitch, he wouldnt be able to stand going into that arena again, not after what it did last time. I can hear someone walking towards the door I just came out of and I move to run up the stairs but then Peeta walks out the door. "How is everyone?" I ask.
"Scared. Listen Katniss, I'm gonna make this right." He says to me.
"What? How?" Snow has already announced it. He's not going to change it.
"I'm going to the Capitol tomorrow, I will make sure he doesnt pick you."
"What? How can you change it?" I ask, intrigued even though I dont care if I'm picked.
"You have to promise me that you wont tell anyone what I'm about to tell you." I nod. "Snow is dragging me to the Capitol with just Finnick, its not some Victors thing. Haymitch knows. Snow plans on ... selling my body to Capitol citizens, the same way he does with Finn." My mouth drops open. How can Snow think thats acceptable to do?
"But Peeta, you cant. Tell him you wont do it. Just stay here please?" I ask.
"Its not that easy Katniss. I cant say no to the President of Panem." He says and I fall silent.
That night, I spend the whole time, disbelieving that he is actually leaving. Rye is out cold in the bed next to me and I cant find sleep at all. The thought of Peeta having sex with someone he doesnt even know, just for money. What is he going to do with the money he makes from that anyway? He already has enough money. Anyway, thats not the point. This is going to send him mad. he still has the blackouts. If he has to go through this aswell, he's going to be nothing like the Peeta that we all know and love. What is eventually he is asked to move to the Capitol? Would I be able to live with him being in a completel different place of the country? Tomorrow morning, I have to say goodbye to him. What am I going to say?
The next morning, we all join at the train station to say goodbye to him. Finn is here to collect him. Whilst everyone is saying goodbye to Peeta, I walk over to Finn. "Hey, I heard the great news, congratulations." He pulls me into a hug which I'm confused about at first but then he whispers to me. "Peeta told me who the real father was. Dont worry, I'm good at keeping secrets." I pull away and smile at him.
"I want you to promise me that you will look after him for me. He told me the truth too." He nods in understanding.
"I promise. Now go say goodbye to him."
"I will. Goodbye Finn." I say and turn to go to Peeta who is walking towards me as he has already said goodbye to everyone else. They have all started walking back but Rye stays to walk me home.
"Bye Katniss." Finn shouts and I hear him walk away to board the train.
"Peeta, you be careful." I say as I reach him. He places his bag on the floor and lifts me up into his arms.
"Take care of you both and dont do anything stupid. I want you to tell the baby that I love it every night." He says and I nod into his hair. I can feel the tears falling down my face, dropping onto his shoulder. I dont know why but I have a feeling that something really bad is going to happen in the Capitol whilst he is there. "I will miss you so much. Dont take any more from Rye. I cant see him doing anything else but you stand up to him Katniss Okay?"
"Okay. Now you get going, they are waiting for you." He smiles and grabs his bag again, moving past me to walk to the train, I turn to watch him go and he waves to me just before he gets on the train. I feel Rye's arm around my waist as the door slides shut on the train and just like that he's gone.
I hope you liked this chapter. I wrote it late at night. Its almost 3 in the morning in england so I'm knackered. Dont forget to Vote and please leave me a review! I love waking up to nice reviews in the morning. Love you guys!