Chapter 15 - Blank Space.
PEETA POV!
Katniss looks so peaceful when she sleeps, I just want to sit here and watch her all day but its already half 5. I'm gonna be late for work, I dont want to be any later. Truthfully, I would rather not go at all. Normally, the Bakery is my favourite place in the world but its not even hard to compare it to lying in bed next to the girl I have loved most of my life. I wouldnt be able to compare anything to it. Plus, there is the whole Rye situation. I am really not looking forward to seeing him today and I'm gonna have to tell the rest of my family what is going on with the baby which will be hard because I cant even think about it without wanting to cry. I will never ever forgive Rye if my baby dies.
I swing my legs over the side of the bed and drop my bare feet onto the cold wooden floor, bending over to kiss Katniss on the head. Just as I get an inch away from her, she moves. "Where you going?" She asks, groggily without even opening her eyes.
"I've got to go to work. I'll come back later, I promise." I do what I intended and kiss her on the forehead but just as I'm pulling away, her eyes open. "I'm sorry, I wish I could stay but you need sleep."
"Be careful. Dont start any fights. If you get one more bruise I'm gonna go over there and kick him in the head." I know she is on about Rye.
"You're not going anywhere, not for a while." She nods and I kiss her again on the forehead and pick my shoes and socks off the floor. My jacket is downstairs by the front door so I might as well put my shoes on there. When I get to the stairs, I glance back at Katniss to see her asleep again. "I love you." I whisper. I know she cant hear me but I tell her anyway and walk down the stairs. Its probably gonna be a while before she says those words back to me.
One the first floor of the house, its quiet, which I expected. The ground floor is quiet too as I tiptoe to the front door to sit on the chair just outside the sitting room where Katniss probably sits to put her shoes on in the morning, as they are the only ones next to the front door. I'm going to guess that her mother doesnt like her to walk through the house with her shoes on when she has just got back from hunting. "How is she?" I hear someone say, making me jump. I poke my head around the doorframe of the sitting room to find Evelyn, sitting in a chair, drinking what I assume is Tea.
"She's gone back to sleep." I say in reply.
"Thats good. How are you?" I assess my injuries quickly.
"I'm alright. My face hurts and my knee is still aching slightly from a couple of weeks ago but other than that I'm fine." I smile at her and she nods.
"Thats good. I dont want you getting anymore injuries today."
"I wont." I say with a small laugh. She turns away from me so I leave the door and walk out into the cold morning air. I could feel it through Katniss' bedroom window which I opened whilst she was still asleep last night but it always feels colder when you're actually out in it.
The streets are usually full of miners but the mines are still undergoing reparement so until then I fear that its going to be very quiet around the seam and there might be quite a lot more deaths considering the only money they get is from the mines. I think about the Hawthornes and how they dont get any money from Gale anymore. Katniss was hunting for them but she cant at the moment. Maybe I should drop by and give them some money. No, it should be fine, Delly has been helping them out and they got some money from Gale's death. Plus, Hazelle has her laundry business. I just hope she is getting customers.
When I get to the town square, I get a few funny looks of people. Probably the bruises on my face. I'm not surprised either. People in town arent accustomed to seeing injuries. Its people in the Seam that are used to it. "Hey Peet." I hear Delly say and I follow her voice. She is standing there by herself, in her jacket, probably on her way to the shoe shop. "What happened to you? Bailie told me that she heard shouting coming from the Bakery last night."
"I had a massive fight with Rye and he did this." I say back, motioning towards my face. "Him and Katniss broke up. He was cheating on her with Gina Stratser." I never keep any secrets from her anymore. Everything that ever happens to me I tell her, especially when its a Katniss problem because normally I tell everything to Katniss but I cant when it is about her. Thats where Delly comes in.
"So why did he fight you?" She asks, reaching out a finger to prod my nose slightly. I pull back from her when I feel pain shoot through my skull.
"Well, I havent told you yet and I dont know wether you know that Katniss is pregnant." Her face falls in shock, telling me that she didnt know. "And its not Rye's, its, or she's mine. Evelyn told us it was a girl. Me and Katniss had sex on my birthday, after my party and thats when it happened."
"I... I cant believe this. I'm so sorry Peeta." She says. "How's Katniss?"
"Not good. Evelyn has ordered her to bed rest. Last night when Rye was fighting me, Katniss tried to get in the way to stop it but Rye accidently punched her in the stomach and the baby has gone into distress, she needs to stay calm. Evelyn said that they baby has 98% chance of survival or something like that so we are a little bit on edge at the moment." She nods in understanding but I can see the tears forming in her eyes.
"Peeta, I'm so sorry." Delly has always known how much I wanted kids, especially a little girl and she always knew that I wanted one with Katniss. 'A little Katniss to call my own' as she used to put it. "Is there anything I can do?"
"No, but thank you. Wait yes, If you see Haymitch today will you be able to let him know. Dont tell him about the baby or anything. Just tell him that Katniss and Rye have broken up and that he should go over to offer his help. I was going to ring him but I have a lot to do today." I ask and she nods. Katniss never told Haymitch about the baby and everyone knows thats. She didnt want him to hear it second hand. There is only a handful of people that actually do know. Mainly just my family, her mother and sister, Madge and now Delly. She didnt know How Haymitch was going to react. Which is understandeable because apparently they night she found out she was pregnant, her mother told her about her past and Haymitch wasnt very supportive when Evelyn ended up pregnant with Katniss when she was 17. This is going to be even worse because Katniss is his neice, not his little sister. Infact, it might not be much different. Plus, apparently, Haymitch didnt really like Ash or know him very but he knows me and I like to think that he atleast likes me a little bit.
"Of course, I have free time when I get to work because we dont have much today so I'll ring him then for you. I'm gonna have to go but be careful Peeta." Delly says, bringing me out of my thoughts.
"Dont tell anyone about this Delly." I say and she nods before running off. I doubt she would have told anyone anyway. She only talks to her family and The Hawthornes nowadays. I carry on walking towards the Bakery and walk through the door, hearing the familiar 'ding' of the bell as the door opens.
"Hey Peeta. I didnt know if you where coming in today." Brooke says. Dad must have got her running the register, he only does that when we are very short staffed. #
"Why are you working where is everyone?" I ask.
"Oh right yeh. Well Katniss is obviously at home, we didnt know if you where coming in and Rye hasnt been home since last night. Leaven got a call late last night from him, saying that he was staying at Gina's which made Masan really angry. How's Katniss doing anyway?"
"Not good at all. Where's Holly." I feel the guilt creaping up for the reason that I have hardly even noticed the presence of my little sister, my favourite person in the world. She stayed here last night whilst I was at Katniss' and I guess she will be staying here tonight too. Leaven and Brooke dont live here anymore she Holly has her room back. All of her stuff is still at mine though so I'm gonna have to talk to dad about where she is living.
"She's in the back." Brooke says but she is still watching me, probably waiting for an answer about Katniss.
"The baby is in danger." Brooke almost starts crying straight away. "She's heartbroken from what happened and Evelyn has put her on immediate bed rest. She's not allowed to get up. When me and Rye where fighting, he punched Katniss by accident and he dislodged the baby slightly and she's in distress with a 98% chance of survival." I tell her and she has to wipe the tears away from her face. "Its going to be alright Brooke dont worry, Evelyn knows what she is doing."
"I know, its just... s-so s-s-sad." She stutters. I feel the tears prickling my eyes and walk around the counter to hug her. She drops her small head onto my shoulder and I stroke her back as she cries. Leaven should really be doing this but if he's busy then its my job to keep her happy, I suppose.
"Right, why dont you go into the back and spend some time with Holly, she always makes people happy. I'll take over here, how does that sound?" I ask but she pulls away and shakes her head.
"I cant. Your father doesnt want you working out here today because of your face." She replies. Dad doesnt like us working out here like this, people ask too many questions and we have had our fair share of bruises in our time, all three of us being on the wrestling team and everything. We used to come home with bruises like everyday.
"Okay, well I'll bring Holly out here." She smiles at me and I walk into the back.
"What are you doing here?" Dad asks me as soon as I step through the door.
"Working." I say and he starts shaking his head.
"Peeta, you dont need to work. You can have the day off. I'm not letting you work." He adds the last bit on because he knows that I would fight back.
"Ok let me go and see Holly." He smiles slightly and I'm about to walk away before he stops me.
"How's Katniss?" He asks so I explain everything to him. He doesnt react like Brooke did, he just takes my arm as I'm the one that looks like they are about to cry. I could hide it very well but my father would always know. "I'm so sorry son. I'm always here for you if you need anything. Just go back and look after her."
"I will, thanks dad." I say and he nods. I walk away from him and into the sitting room to get Holly. She is sitting on the floor playing with her little teddy, 'Sammy'. "Hey Hol." I say and she jumps up in surprise. I catch sight of Rye sitting in the corner of the room. The look on his face is one of sorrow but there is also a little bit of anger there too. I catch Holly in an embrace and she throws her arms around my neck. "I think you should go cheer Brooke up. She could use some cheering up." I tell her and she bounces off me and leaves the room, dragging Sammy along the floor behind her. "So I heard you stayed at Gina's last night?" I ask Rye without looking at him. Instead I busy myself with watching the fire.
"Well, you stayed at Katniss' so why cant I stay at Gina's?" He asks, bitterly.
"How do you know I stayed at Katniss'?" I ask him. I didnt even tell dad until about 2 minutes ago.
"I figured you would have gone to Evelyn to get your nose fixed. Yes, I felt it break under my knuckles and trust me I wanted to do alot more than that." He says.
"I know you did Rye. Do you not think I recognise the look in your eyes?" I ask, laughing slightly but he doesnt laugh back.
"You dont know how much I sacrificed for Katniss and then you just come in and take her away." He says to me and I feel my anger boiling up slightly. What the hell does he know about sacrifice?
"Sacrifice? Rye, you dont know anything about the word sacrifice. I sacrificed ever dating anyobdy else for Katniss. I have been in love with her since I was 4. Every waking moment of my life has been about Katniss. I'm not getting into an argument with you about this because there is no point. Whats done is done, we cant change the past. Just think before you use words you dont understand." I never told him that I had loved Katniss that long and I doubt he had figured it out from my interview. Katniss did though, I know that much but I dont think she would ever tell Rye that.
He doesnt seem bothered by it though and carries on speaking. "I do understand the word sacrifice Peeta. Yes, you went through a Hunger Games but you dont think I've sacrificed things too? I bet you dont even love Katniss, I bet you are just messing with her. I bet you only told her that you liked her because I was dating her." How can he think something like that?
"Do you remember when you and Katniss started dating and she didnt want you going to anymore parties with your friends because everytime you do, something happens?" I ask, remembering the anger that I had to deal with when he came to me with problems about Katniss. "And then you got really angry with her because you wanted to have a life. You thought it was just her being horrible and that she was trying to control you or whatever but thats how Katniss is and if you cant see that then what was the point in your relatinship." He doesnt say anything, just looks at the floor, so I carry on, now looking at him. "She is the most kind, selfless person on this planet and every minute of every day, I have her in my mind. Her smile lights up the world around me and whenever her hand grazes my skin or she speaks to me or anything like that, shivers go throughout my body. Everytime she looks at me, my heart skips a beat. She is the only thing keeping me alive. If she wasnt here then I wouldnt be. I wouldnt have come back from that arena because she is all I came back for and when I got back from the Capitol and found out that she was dating you, I was heartbroken. I spent every day from then, trying to get used to it because you where one of the only people I trusted with Katniss other than myself, which has changed now. So dont ever say that I dont love Katniss because I love her more than anybody has ever loved and I'm sorry if that pushes you out of the picture but thats just the way it is. I know that she will never love me as much as I love her but I know she still loves me and nobody can help who they love." I didnt realise I had stepped closer to him now, my voice rising and my finger in the air, pointing at him accusigly. My father is standing at the door with Leaven, they probably heard the raised voices.
"I know that Peeta. I loved her and I know that at one point, she loved me." He says, hardly any anger in his voice.
I think back to last night when I admitted that I loved her and she said that she had to get over Rye. "She still does Rye. She wont love me until she is over you but thats alright because I dont care as long as I can look after her because thats what love is. You dont mind if they dont love you back, you become whatever they need you to be, wether it be a best friend, someone to talk to or someone to date. You only ever saw Katniss as your girlfriend and dont even try to deny it. I saw the way you looked at her, you did love her but not for the right reasons." I shout the last sentence at him. The entire time he was dating her, I was a little jealous of him but I was more angry with him. The way he treated Katniss was horrible. If I had Katniss, I wouldnt be able to keep my eyes off her but Rye could never keep his hands off her. He saw her as someong that he could have sex with whenever he wanted and when she wouldnt have sex with him, he went to Gina and that is what really annoys me about this entire situation.
He stands up to face me and I stand up straight incase something else happens. He's only an inch taller than me but he's definitely not as strong as me. "I dont care what you are saying Peeta because at the end of the day, you still stole my girlfriend from me and that is something that you promised you would never do. I hate you for what you did and I dont know if I will ever be able to forgive you."
"I didnt steal her Rye. She's still yours, she only loves you, it boggles my mind that she can love someone like you right now after everything you put her through but she does and thats out of my control." I reply. He might have loved her for the wrong reasons but I know that she put all her trust in him and loved him properly.
"Well maybe you should give her back and we can go on with our lives." He says.
"Rye, you make it sound like I tied her up in a sack and took her from you. She chose this. I wouldnt stop her if she chose to come back to you because I can let go Rye but you cant! You need to let her go. If you truly did love her then you would be able to do that. Because you would just want the best for her but since you got with Gina you havent loves Katniss and dont try to deny it because I know. Ever since I got back from Gale and Delly's Victory Tour, you havent done one thing right for Katniss but she was so caught up in her love for you that she didnt realise but I did. All the days you dissapeared to go to Gina's, she cried and cried Rye and you would have known that it hurt her if you payed attention. For the past couple of months she has been going through hell. Her best friend has died and the mine explosion would have brought so many memories back from her dad. All she ever wanted was for you to be there for her and where were you? At Gina's! You dont understand what its like to lose someone Rye, but you could be there for her once in a while! I dont know how you can call yourself a man!" I say to him. "Now, I'm gonna go and leave you to think." I walk past him and out the house before the tears fall. Watching Katniss go through all those months of torture was heartbreaking for me and for her but she never realised because she was in love with Rye. I guess love really does overcome everything else.
I go to my house before I go back to Katniss'. I need to ring Snow about getting my trip pushed back and I also need to get some more clothes for tomorrow so that I dont go another day wearing the same clothes. On the way back, I re-call a conversation I had with Haymitch.
"So, how do you feel to be back?" Haymicth asks as I make us both a brew in my new kitchen. I moved into the Victors Village 2 days ago and I'm still not used to the fact that I live alone.
"Its alright." I reply.
"You talked to the mystery girl yet?" He asks, referring to the girl I mentioned in my interview. I never told him that it was Katniss and I think that maybe it was about time that I told him.
"Haymitch, that mustery girl is-" I'm about to tell him but he answers for me.
"Katniss, I know. I have known since you where younger." He laughs slightly. "I also know that she is dating your brother. I bet thats horrible to see." He says with a smirk.
"Yeh, I just need to deal with it but I dont know how. I love Katniss and I have for as long as I can remember but she is dating my brother and I know that. When I won the games I had gained so much courage and that entire train ride home I was just thinking that I was going to take her in my arms and kiss her as soon as I saw her because I learnt that life might be hard and horrible but it is still short so you have to make the most of it. When I got off the train and saw her in my brothers arms, it broke my heart. I just dont know what to do about it anymore." I say, facing him, waiting for the kettle to boil.
"I can't believe I'm talking to anybody about dating my neice but If it is anyone then I'm glad its you. I think you should just wait. The time will come when it will resolve itself just wait." Haymitch says to me and I smile.
I never actually believed him. I had hardly any hope that Katniss and Rye would break up but I guess that I should have listened to him at the time. I unlock the front door to my house and step in. Its feels cold and unwelcoming like it always does when I havent been here all day, or in this case, in 2 days.
I decide to go to the phone first but after a lot of conversations with Capitol Citizens about who I am and what I want, I finally get to the Presidents Mansion to be put through to a woman, with a high pitched voice. "Hello? President Coroilanus Snow's assistant." She says.
"Hi. Would I be able to talk to the President please?" I ask, now getting really agitated with this whole process.
"And who is this?" She asks.
"This is Peeta Mellark." I say.
"Oh yeh. Mr Mellark. I heard you will be visiting us again soon. Maybe you could leave a night open for me and we can go for round two? You left me quite suddenly." She asks, a hint of seduction in her voice but my whole body cringes. She was the one that was horrible to me, I recognise the voice now but I had no idea that she was the Presidents assistant.
"Maybe I could leave a couple nights open for you." I reply, trying the seduction technique that Finn helped me with. Just think about something else and pretend that you are not talking to the person that you are. It was so embarrassing talking to Finn about it because I had to talk seductive to him and it was horrible, he kept laughing at me. "If I talk to the President, I can sort it out with him."
"I'm sorry Mr Mellark but the President doesnt take calls from the districts." She says.
"Could you give him a message from me?" I ask and she mumbles a 'yes'. "Could you tell him that I got into a fight with someone and I'm going to have to push my visit back maybe a couple of weeks please?"
"I will give him that message as soon as I can. Goodbye." Then the woman hangs up. If she actually gives that message to Snow then I should get a message from him eventually.
Then I ring Finn. He needs to know so that he doesnt show up when I'm not there. "Hello?" He asks throught the phone.
"Hey. I need to talk to you about something." I say and he sighs.
"As long as its not another Katniss problem. I dont think I can take another minute of your love problems." He laughs slightly. Everytime I have a problem with how I feel about Katniss then Finn is the one that I go to and I'm not surprised that he is annoyed with me. One day, I rang him at 3 in the morning because I couldnt sleep because Katniss was in my head. This was just after last years games.
"Not exactly." I say quickly.
"Okay, whats up?" He asks.
"I left Snow a message about pushing back my visit. I got into a huge fight with my brother." I say and he starts to laugh.
"Why?" He asks.
"He found out about me and Katniss." I can hear him laughing on the other side of the phone. "Dont laugh Finn, this is really serious." I say and the laughing stops. "He was cheating on Katniss for about 7 months now. Then Katniss told him who the real father of the baby is and we got into a fight. He broke my nose and he knocked Katniss to the ground. The baby is in danger Finn." I say to him and I can feel the tears well up in my eyes again and despite being alone, I dont want to cry right now.
"Seriously?" Finn asks. His voice now worried.
"Yeh, Katniss' mum said that the baby has about a 98% chance of survival and Katniss is in bed right now but thats also part of the reason why I want my Capitol visit pushed back. I cant leave now. I can't leave her do deal with this alone." I say to him.
"Well I'm so sorry Peeta. I'm sure that everything will turn out for the best. You look after Katniss. If Snow has a problem with all this, I'll talk to him but I wont give away anything if you dont want me too." He says to me.
"Thanks Finn."
"Hey, what are best friends for?" He says. He's never classed himself as my best friend before. "Because you are my best friend Peeta. Why would you not be? We have been through the same things and we're always there for eachother. You're like the brother I never had." I cant believe he is saying all this.
"But you do have a brother Finn." I reply with a laugh. Nobody other than his close friends know about his brother, not even Snow. He is just trying to keep him safe. His brother is called Kai and he lives along the coast of district 4 in a really small house that Finn got for him and it sits on its own. He is 17 now I think.
"You know what I mean." He says, there is no hint of laughter in his voice.
"Thank you. You dont know how much it means to me that you said that. I've only ever had 2 best friends. Katniss and Rye but I guess Rye isnt anymore. Thanks for everything Finn."
"So does Haymitch know about Rye cheating on Katniss yet?" He asks, trying to distinguish the awkwardness in the air. He knows how hard Haymitch can be when it comes to a Katniss problem.
"No, we havent even told him about the baby at all. He doesnt know anything. I'm gonna tell him today." I say with a small laugh.
"Well, good luck with that Peet. Anyway I've got to get going to meet Annie." He says and hangs up before I get a chance to say goodbye. I heave a feeling that our little heart to heart made us both really awkward.
I run upstairs and grab some more clothes from my drawers. Coming back down and grabbing 4 cheese buns from the kitchen side and I leave the house, locking the door and pocketing the key.
Its already 12 when I get to Katniss' house. Was I really waiting for the president that long? Haymitch is sitting on the sofa in the sitting room, leaning over and ringing his hands together. This should be fun, he already looks really pissed off. "Hello?" I ask into the room and Evelyn turns around to smile at me. "I brought you some cheese buns. There's 4, one for each of us but you can give mine to Katniss." She graciously takes the bag from me and I nods.
"She's still asleep." She replies to me and thats when Haymitch shoots to his feet and grabs my arms, causing me to drop the bag in my hand.
"You tell me what you did! Now!" He shouts in my face. "Evie tells me that you have to explain this to me so get explaining!" There is nothing but anger in his face.
"Maybe you should sit down." I offer but he just shakes his head and pulls me into the room. Prim walks through the door leading from the kitchen, holding a bowl of water. Her mother whispers something to her and she hurries out of the room.
"I will not sit down. You tell me what is going on!" Haymitch shouts and I take a breathe. Now or never Peeta.
"Okay well, Katniss is... Pregnant." I mumble and his face falls. I know he thinks very highly of Katniss and because her father isnt here, he is filling in the slot.
"What?" He asks quietly, stumbling back from slightly.
"Haymitch, i'm sorry, we didnt want you to find out this way but its true, Katniss is having a baby." I say, grabbing his arm to stop him falling over.
"We?" He asks.
"Yeh, erm... Her and Rye broke up, he was cheating on her. Its his fault that she is in bed. He hurt the baby by accident when he found out that the baby is... the baby is mine... It happened on my birthday and I promise that it wasnt meant to happen." I say and he looks up at me. "Dont be angry with her, she didnt want this, none of us did."
"I'm not angry at her and I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at Rye. I thought he was better than that."
"Trust me, so did I." I reply. He nods and Evelyn touched me shoulder, mumbling for me to leave for a while which I do, picking my bag up off the floor and climbing the stairs to Katniss' room.
She still looks really peaceful and I'm so glad that she didnt have to tell Haymitch herself, she would have just put more stress on herself. I take off my boots at the top of the stairs, hoping that it will make it wasier to sneak across the room to put my bag on the chair over the other side of the bed but I was wrong, with my metal leg, it makes it even harder to sneak and Katniss has incredible hearing, so I'm screwed. I hear her stirring and I freeze until the noise stops when I let out a shaky breathe. I feel like I did when I was trying to sneak round my sleeping mother when I was younger but now its different, I find myself wanting to smile. I take another step forward with my eyes on Katniss.
My foot slips on something and before I know it, I'm lying on the floor, pain rippling through my back. The pain is giving me a headache and my eyes go blurry for a second before I rub them and my vision comes back mostly. I open my eyes to see someone standing over me. "You okay?" Katniss asks.
"Yeh I'm fine. What did I fall on?" I ask her, pulling myself up. It felt a little like some kind of cloth. I dont think it was water or anything because whatever I slipped on, went with me.
"It was the pyjama shirt I was wearing last night, sorry about that but I tried to throw it to the wardrobe but it didnt go far enough." She lets out a small laugh and I try my best to lead her back to bed.
"I need to talk to you." I say, changing the conversation completely. I need to tell her about Haymitch. "I told Haymitch. He's downstairs right now. He knows everything." Fear flashes across her eyes. I know she didnt want him to find out yet because I think we all knew that he wouldnt take it very well. "Its okay, he's not angry with you or me, he's angry with Rye. For what he did to you." I reassure her and she smiles but I dont think it was a real smile. More like she is trying to hide something from me but I know her really well and I know that she is still worried. "Trust me, everything will be alright."
"I hope you're right." She climbs under the bed covers and leans back against the headboard.
"I'll come back up in a minute, just go and get something to eat for you." She is about to object but eventually nods. She must be really hungry because she never lets me get anything for her.
I walk back down the stairs and find Evelyn in the sitting room with Prim. Haymitch must have left, I hope to god he hasnt gone to the Bakery. The last thing we need right now is Haymitch causing more problems. "I came for something to eat for Katniss. She's awake." I say to Evelyn and she nods before going into the kitchen and coming out a second later with 2 cheese buns on a plate. "Thank you." I reply and she nods again. She seems very quiet today and I'm not sure why. Maybe I could ask Katniss about it. What if she is having one of her days again, sometimes when we were younger I would ask to go over to Katniss' but she would say no because her mother was having an 'off' day and I didnt know what she meant until I was 14. I hope that she doesnt shut off again and leave Katniss to fend for herself because even though she is on bed rest she is still going to need the help of a doctor if anything happens and Evelyn is the only one left in the district.
At around 6 there is a knock on the door. I had brought Katniss down for a change of scenery, Evelyn said that it might help her. We all exchange looks as whoever it is knocks again. Despite the fact that its not my house, I'm the first to stand. Its not like we have done anything wrong, its just that none of us understand who would be here at this time. I grab the door handle and pull slightly, waiting for someone that I dont know, only to find Leaven and Brooke. "Hey Peet. We came to see Katniss." Brooke says and I nod before allowing them entrance.
"Its Leaven and Brooke." I shout into the house.
"Hey Kat, how you feeling?" I hear Leaven say as I am still shutting the door, they went in ahead of me.
"I've been better. How's Rye?" She asks. It breaks my heart that she is still in love with him and I know she is because I can tell in how she says his name. There's a hint of anger but her voice was full of worry. She still cares alot about him. I quickly slip into the room and stand in the corner next to the dining table, behind Prim.
"He's not good. about 2 hours ago, he completely trashed the sitting room at the Bakery. Dad had to lock him in the store room. It was really scary. Holly was crying and I had to take her to the park to get her away from it." Brooke says. I forgot about Holly. She cant be doing well with the circumstances. She probably knows that something has happened and after today she will probably be scared of Rye for a while. I'm gonna have to get her out of there as soon as possible. "Holly is staying with my mum tonight just in case. Rye said he wanted to leave but Masan knew that he was going to go to Gina's so he isnt allowed to leave the Bakery. He wants to talk to him about it. Honestly, I think he's just lost his mind." I see tears form in Katniss eyes and I quickly move to comfort her. We cant have more stress on her, its not good for the baby. "I'm sorry. But hey, we bought you a present." I face Brooke to see her pull a tiny little teddy bear out of her bag. It looks old but new at the same time and is a faded black colour, more like grey though.
"Its for the baby. We dont believe that anything is going to happen to her." Katniss smiles slightly, taking the bear from Brooke. As she looks at it, she starts crying again. I wrap my arm around her, perched on the edge of the sofa next to her as there is hardly any place to sit down anymore.
"But what if-" Katniss starts but is cut off by Brooke.
"No, I dont want to hear any 'what if's, that baby is a fighter, I know it. I mean look at you and look at Peeta, of course she's a fighter, how could she not be. I'm not scared for your baby because I know that in a couple of months you will be holding her in your arms and she will be playing with my little present." Brooke smiles again which I return but Katniss goes in a hugs her, crying on her shoulder. I guess that was a little bit more hope for Katniss.
"Anyway, we better get going. Brooke has to go home and I have to get back to keep Rye under control." Leaven says to me and I stand up to walk them out. He leans down to give Katniss a hug and a kiss on the cheek and he follows me to the door. "God she really doesnt look good Peet." He whispers once we get to the door.
"What do you mean?" I honestly hadnt noticed how she looked.
"Come on Peet. She is as white as a sheet, her eyes are really dark and have bags under them. She looks weaker than I have ever seen her. I'm surprised she is able to stand up." Come to think about it, I did actually have to carry her downstairs this after noon. "I think you need to talk to Evelyn about it because it doesnt seem right." I nod. "Good luck. I'm so sorry about everything Peet. After everything you have been through, you never deserved anything like this. I hope everything turns out alright. Let us know if anything changes."
"Thanks Leaven, for everything." I say and he gives me a quick hug before walking back off towads town with Brooke close to his side. I've never told them but I envy their lives so much. All I ever wanted was a family and why did I not see that it was all going to go wrong? Nothing else in my life has ever gone right, why would this? I must be the least unluckiest person in all of Panem.
"Peeta?" I hear behind me and I turn around to see Evelyn stood there. "I'm sorry, I heard your conversation and there is something I need to talk to you about." My heart starts to beat inside my chest. "Shall we go outside a minute?" She asks a little louder and I nod before moving aside so she can walk out and following her just a litte down the small street. "Look, its not that bad at the moment but it could get worse. I took some blood from her yesterday and i ran a few tests on it with some stuff that I got from the apothecary and all the tests came back bad. Katniss has really low blood pressure and normally its something that goes away with everyday life but this hasnt."
"So what can we do?" I ask, my voice failing on me.
"Well normally, you have to exercise and eat healthy and them kind of things but Katniss cant, she needsa balanced diet and even if we did get the right food, it wouldnt be enough, she needs to get up and around but not for a couple of days yet, we dont know what would happen if she did. But if she doesnt get better soon then her heart could fail. Your heart need oxygen and with low blood pressure, its not getting around her body as well. Thats why she's so weak." I have to take breathes now to stop myself from crying. "From now on we have to have someone watching all the time. If you dont mind, we'd like you to do it. You're sleeping in the same room as her anyway. If you need to go hom for whatever reason, I'll just get Prim to do it but Prim is a really heavy sleeper and wouldnt notice anything wrong."
"Yeh, I'll stay, I can't leave her." I say and she nods. "Are you going to tell her?"
"I think its best if she didnt know, for the babies sake. Dont want to give her more stress." I smile in understanding and follow her back down the street and in the house.
That night, I find it hard to sleep. I can't take my eyes off her incase anything happens. About 1 am, she wakes up from a nightmare almost knocking me off the side of the bed which she ends up laughing about until she gets a headache and falls back asleep again. I dont actually get any sleep until about 7 in the morning when Katniss wakes up with the promise that she will wake me if anything happens.
KATNISS POV.
I dont know how much longer I'm going to be able to stay in this house. I need to do something other than eat and sleep. I am scared for the baby and I dont want to make it any worse but I think I'm gonna end up loosing my mind if I stay in here any longer. The only problem is that I'm weaker than I have ever been before and for some reason my chest hurts. I dont think I would even make it to the front door. I havent told anyone that my chest hurts because I dont want to make them worried. I dont think its anything to be worried about anyway, it might justbe because of all the stress I've been under because it happened a little when my father died.
I glance over at Peeta beside me, lying on his front, his bare back showing. This is the first bit of sleep that he has had all night and I dont doubt that he could be asleep for a while, which means that I dont have anyone to talk to or anything until he wakes up. Prim is going to school today as far as I'm aware and I know that my mother has to go and see Uncle Haymitch as she always does on Mondays.
I come up with a plan to get downstairs so that I dont disturb Peeta. Prim should already be at school so she wont be able to help me. Mum will probably be in the kitchen making herself a brew or something and Peeta is asleep, which means I've got to do this all by myself. Plus, I also need to have a bath today. On Mondays we have running water in the seam so this will be my only chance until next week. Normally I would have one at the Bakery or at Uncle Haymitch's but it looks like I wont be leaving this house for a while.
I slide my legs over the edge of the bed and pull myself up to my feet slowly. When I'm fully stood up and I glance at Peeta to see that he is still asleep. His breathing is slow, showing that he is still asleep. I smile at him and grab some clothes up off the floor. The walk down the stairs is tricky but eventually I get there and walk into the sitting room. Its empty but I can here someone moving around in the kitchen which is obviously my mother. "Mum?" I shout and the moving stops before I hear someone walking across the wood and towards the door.
"Katniss? What are you doing up?" She asks, helping me over to the sofa.
"I was bored and I didnt want to disturb Peeta, he hasnt has any sleep, he just went to sleep when I woke up. I also need a bath today." I say and she nods.
"Well, I'll help you have a bath if you want?" I think about say no or that I'll be fine but I really could use the help.
I dont get to leave the house until a week and a half later when we are all meant to go to Uncle Haymitch's for Dinner. Peeta's face has completely healed and he will be setting off for the Capitol in a couple of days, then I'll be all alone again. For the past week, he has hardly left my side. I'm glad for the company though because normally I would spend my time at the Bakery but I cant so Peeta has stayed with me. He has stayed at mine every night and I think my room is now actually full of his clothes. He hasnt taken any of them back to his yet, he just keeps going to get more. Mum has been washing them for him though so he doesnt really have any reason to take them home just yet.
As for me, I feel a lot better than I did. Mum says the baby will be completely fine and that I should be able to get out and about in 2 days. From what Peeta tells me, the mines have re-opened and everyone is going about their business again. The fence has now been turned on permanently which means I wont be able to go hunting but atleast I will be able to get out, even if its just for a walk. I'd really like to go and see Hazelle.
Peeta also tells me that now everyone knows that Im pregnant and that Peeta keeps getting stared at everywhere he goes because they also know about me and him. That should be fun when I go back to school. I also have to put up with Gina who I havent seen yet since the news. I am kind of worried about what I'm gonna do when I do see her.
"Katniss? You ready to go?" Peeta asks from the bottom of my stairs.
"Yeh, I'm coming." I shout back down to him. I think we all just treat him like he lives here now becuase it actually feels like he does. My mother is already at Uncle Haymitch's with Prim. They have been there all day, helping set up as Uncle Haymitch still has no idea what he is doing when it comes to cooking.
Peeta is taking all of his stuff back home tonight, which is actually double the amount of clothes that he would have have to wear because I've been wearing his pyjamas, mine are all still at the Bakery which Masan is bringing with him to give me later. He already put his stuff in this huge bag that he brought this morning and its all already downstairs near the door.
I pull myself up off the bed and walk down the stairs to Peeta. I can feel the heat coming in from the open windows, its horrible. I dont know how I've been able to stand this heat whilst I've been in bed, especially with Peeta next to me who is by far the warmest person ever. I dont think he is ever cold to be honest.
"You alright?" He asks when I get there and I nod in reply. He leads me out the door and into the heat. Its even hotter than it is inside. I pull off my cardigan and try my best to shove it in Peeta's bag with the rest of my clothes. My Mother is allowing me to sleep at Peeta's tonight as they are sleeping at Haymitch's and my mother wants me to go to sleep early and I wont be able to do that when they are all listening to music downstairs so me and Peeta will be going back over to his house at about 9. Masan, Leaven and Brooke are also sleeping at his because the Bakery is closed for the rest of the week. I dont know where Rye is staying and frankly I couldnt care less, probably at Gina's. The thought makes my skin crawl. As if I ever let that lying cheat touch me at all.
The Bakery have run out of stock and dont get any more until Monday morning. By then Peeta will have already left for the Capitol. His father will be given a key though off Uncle Haymitch because the wont be coming back until later and Peeta doesnt want us going to sleep with the door unlocked so Uncle Haymitch agreed to let Masan borrow his key.
We get there in about an hour and a half. It normally takes quicker than that but mum told me to take it slow and even though I dont feel like I need to, Peeta wont let me walk my normal speed. Peeta holds the door open for me like a gentleman and drops his stuff on the inside of the door, saying that he will take it back later. "Mum!" I shout through the house and she almost suddenly pops her head around the door frame from the kitchen.
"Oh great, you're the first ones here. Masan isnt here yet." She says and pulls her whole body around the doorframe so she can see us properly. "You two look good. I'm surprised Peeta had anything to wear." She laughs at him slightly.
"Yeh, I picked it up a couple of days ago because I knew that we where coming here and I didnt think I would be going back home." He says and I smile. I didnt know that. I thought he just went back and gone some normal clothes.
"Well thats good. This dinner is for you after all. Wouldnt want you showing up like yourself." My mother jokes and I find myself laughing. A laugh that I cant seem to control and Peeta has to pat me on the back because it causes me to cough. Wow, thats the first time I've laughed in 2 weeks and it actually felt really good. Almost like, my world isnt crumbling around me."Well, you can go and sit in the dining room if you want, I'm sure everybody else wont be l-" I hear a knock behind me, making me jump and stopping my mother talking.
Peeta turns and opens the door, almost suddenly, I feel arms around my shoulders. I recognise the arms as Masan. He hasnt seen me since me and Rye broke up, he's been too busy with keeping the Bakery going now that Rye is distant and choosing when he works, (apparently) and Peeta wasnt working so he could look after me. "How are you feeling?" He asks in my ear.
"I'm okay, I suppose." I reply as he pulls away.
"Hows that granddaugter of mine?" He asks, taking me back. I havent told him that its a girl yet.
"How... H-How did you-" I stutter out.
"Brooke told me and I couldnt be more happy about it." He says. "How is she?"
"She's fine for now. Getting a lot better and I'm even starting to grow a bump." I say. Its true. Over the past week, my mother has been feeding me a lot more with the help of Peeta and its taking its effect on the baby as my bump has started to grow. Its only tiny and you cant see it through my clothes but I remember Peeta getting really excited the first time I noticed it before I was going to get in the shower. Since then he has liked referring to the baby as his 'little peanut'. Its quite funny actually.
"Well, thats good and you take it easy from now on." He says with a smile.
"Hows Rye doing?" I ask. I do hate him right now but at the end of the day, he was still the first person I ever loved and your first love doesnt go away that easy. I feel a few tears prickle my eyes and I can see Peeta over Masan's shoulder with a hurt look on his face. I know that he doesnt like that I'm still hung up on Rye but he never told me.
"Honestly, I dont see him enough to tell you Katniss. He is only really at home to work and its really hectic and then he's gone again but I'm sure he is heartbroken too." Masan says to me and I quickly wipe away the stray tears and the anger sets in.
"I doubt it. I bet he never gave a crap about me, would rather go around gloating that he has a girlfriend to get someone to sleep with him. Well you can tell him next time you see him that no matter what he put me through, I loved him." I say through gritted teeth.
He looks like he is about to say something but changes his mind and says something else instead. "I'm sure he knows Katniss but I'll tell him." He kisses me slightly on the cheek and starts walking towards my mother but not before giving Peeta a quick hug.
Another knock on the door, surprises me and I go to answer it as Peeta is still talking to Leaven about something. I'm expecting Delly but instead I get Rye. "What is it?" I ask, my mouth suddenly dry, I havent seen him since that night and I can see why. He doesnt look the same as he used to. He looks tired. He has bags under his eyes and his cheeks are all flushed from something. His breathe is all jagged as if he just ran here. I feel Peeta's presence behind me and also feel Brooke, Leavens and Holly's eyes on the back of my head.
"Excuse me Peeta? I want to talk to Katniss, not you." Rye says to his brother.
"Actually I think you'll find that I have to help her around after what you did so im not going anywhere." Peeta replies. He's lying though as he doesnt really need to help me around anymore, especially when I'm just standing at the door, he probably just wants to stay incase Rye tries something.
"What do you mean? what did i cause?" He asks. Did nobody tell him? I would have expected somebody to tell him.
"When you where fighting with Peeta, i tried to stop you but you hit my in the stomach, the baby was in distress. Peeta has been more help to me than you ever have." I say bitterly.
"Katniss, im so sorry..." I can hear the sympathy in his voice but I'm too angry at him to care about it. If it wasnt for what he did, he wouldnt have a need to be sympathetic.
"What do you want Rye?" I ask.
"I came because I was invited to Dinner." He would have been invited when we where together and my head spins at the thought of me and Rye showing up here together with his arm around my waist, if we hadnt broken up.
"Yeh well consider yourself uninvited." I shout and slam the door in his face before he has the chance to say anything else to me. I feel the tears fall before I even have a chance to stop them. I let myself fall into Peeta's arms, as he slides them around my shoulders like he always did when I cried. This time I feel him kiss the top of my head though and bury his face in my hair as I soak his shirt. It feels good, almost like its helping me heal or something like that.
"How about we get dinner started?" I hear Uncle Haymitch ask from the kitchen doorway. I look up to see him, mum and Masan all looking at me sympathetically. I had no idea they where all standing there. Prim walks up from behind Brooke and Leaven where I had no idea she was and takes my hand, leading me to the dining room to sit down.
The phone rings just as I'm walking past it, so I pick it up. "Hello?" I ask.
"Hello? Who is this?" The voice asks on the other side. They sound rushed and I cant seem to figure out who it is.
"Who is this?" I ask. I'm not telling them who I am until I know they are.
"Finnick." He says and almost instantly I recognise the voice.
"Hi Finnick, its Katniss." Peeta appears at my side again as if he was expecting a call off Finnick or something.
"Oh hey Princess, how you feeling?" He asks.
"Better. Whats up?" I ask. He only rings when its important.
"I need to talk to Peeta if he's there. I tried his house but got no answer for the past week." he says, sounding slightly annoyed.
"Yeh, sorry, he has been at mine, but he's right here. See you Finn. Good luck for next week."
"Thanks Princess." He says with a laugh and I hand the phone to Peeta.
"Hey... Whats up?... What?... Wednesday?... Okay so what time are you going back to 4?... Well, I'll get my driver to bring me to the train station to pick you up... Okay well I'll see you there... Yeh, how's Annie?... Well I hope she gets better soon... Tell her I said hi...thanks... See you Finn." Then he hangs up the phone. What happened to Annie. Something tells me that it was a Capitol problem again. What could they have done to Annie.
"Whats wrong with Annie?" I ask Peeta. I've never met her but from what Finnick told me, she is really important to him and Peeta tells me that she is one of the sweetest people you will ever meet.
"She got really sick from something. About 8 days ago, Finn found her passed out on her bedroom floor so he's been taking care of her, but she's getting better now." I turn towards my mother as she moves behind me and she has a confused look on her face. To me it doesnt sound like any normal illness and I know that she is thinking the exact same thing. I suppose if she is getting better though then it isnt anything to worry about. "And Finn is going to the Capitol a little earlier than expected because has has a 'charge' a couple days before he was first scheduled to arrive. Last minute things." He says the 'charge' a little quiter than the rest of it because even though everyone knows about what Finnick does in the Capitol, he cant say it too loud or his family might figure out that he is doing the same. They are bound to find out eventually though and when it comes down to it, there will prbably be a lot of sadness and a lot of 'how could you not tell us' by his father.
"Well I'll leave you too it then." I say with a small sad smile and follow Prim into the dining room. She shows me to my seat and Uncle Haymitch brings all our food out once everyone is seated. I can tell this is going to be a good night. Well compared to everything else recently anyway.
After all the food is gone, we are all just sitting in silence until Masan speaks up. "So Katniss? Now that I know that you are having a girl, any thoughts on the name?" I glance at Peeta and am about to answer when he speaks for me.
"Actually yeh, we thought about Hope Leigh Mellark." He replies and I look back at Masan.
"Hope?" Peeta nods. "Where did you come up with that?" Masan asks.
"We where talking the night that Katniss got hurt and I said to her that she needed to have Hope and thats when Katniss said that it would be a good name so I got to choose the middle name which I chose Leigh." Peeta explains and I nod along.
"Well its really nice, I love it." He smiles.
When the music starts, courtesy of Leaven, most people are up and dancing. Trying to make the day as happy as they can. Peeta is leaving soon as we have to make him leave happy or something else could go wrong. We dont want that. I think me, Brooke and mum are the only ones not dancing. Its quite funny watching Peeta, Leaven and Masan dance around the floor. Especially when the beat on the song gets deeper and they start jumping around. Even Uncle Haymitch is dancing which is something that I never thought I would see and the surprising thing is that none of them are drunk. Peeta said that he didnt want to drink when I was here, not even a little bit which I didnt mind about but he still said no. Leaven doesnt want to drink because him and Brooke used to drink together and now Brooke cant drink so Leaven doesnt either. Masan doesnt want to be the only one drinking so thats how they are all sober. Holly is having the time of her life as Leaven bobs her up and down on his shoudlers. Her laughing is almost louder than the music itself. Its good for her to be having some fun because with everything that is going on, she hasnt had anyone to have fun with really. Masan has tried to get her to go to bed but she lives at Peeta's and no-one is there yet so me and Peeta are taking her back when we go. We should have already gone but Peeta is having too much fun.
Prim however has gone to bed, she was having a lot of fun she just got really tired. Which is understandeable as it is already half 10 and I feel like I'm gonna pass out from the fatigue. Being in bed all day every day does mess up your sleeping schedule a lot. Maybe I should just take one of the many offers to dance and then go back to Peeta's, leaving them to have fun.
I pull myself to my feet and start to bob around a little in an attempt to dance. I probably look like an absolute idiot right now but there isnt much else I can do. Thats when Peeta notices me and grabs my hand, pulling me into the big circle that the guys have made. I still have to hold in my laugh as Uncle Haymitch starts banging his head from side to side to the music. His chin length hair flying everywhere. Thats when I join in. If he can make a fool of himself then I sure as hell can. Me feet leave the ground everytime they touch it as I jump in time with Peeta, singing along to the song. From listening to music so much at the Bakery and then listening to it with my dad when I was younger, I've come to learn most of the songs.
When the song changes, the music turns slow and my heart starts to beat. I know this song. It never used to remind me of anything, I just used to like it and now it reminds me of Rye. Well it did actually remind me of Rye over the past couple of months but it reminds me of him more. I find myself frozen on the floor, Peeta standing infront of me, the tears already falling from my eyes. The words just fall out of my mouth.
Job well done Standing ovation Yeah you got what you wanted I guess you won And I don't want to hear, they don't know you like I do Even I could've told you But now we're done 'Cause you play me like a symphony Play me till your fingers bleed I'm your greatest masterpiece You ruin me Later when the curtains drawn And no one's there for you back home Don't cry to me, you played me wrong You ruin me I know you thought That I wouldn't notice You were acting so strange I'm not that dumb And in the end I hope she was worth it I don't care if you loved me, you make me numb 'Cause you play me like a symphony Play me till your fingers bleed I'm your greatest masterpiece You ruin me Later when the curtains drawn And no one's there for you back home Don't cry to me, you played me wrong You ruin me We're that song you wouldn't sing Just a broken melody You're killing me You play me like a symphony Play me till your fingers bleed I'm your greatest masterpiece You ruin me Later when the curtains drawn And no one's there for you back home Don't cry to me you played me wrong You ruin me
When th song ends, I open my eyes. Everyone is staring at me. I find myself shaking my head and wiping the tears away before running from the room. I hate it when people see me cry. I just let my feet take me somewhere and for some reason I end up in the basement, surrounded by pieces of old furniture and boxes full of random stuff that Uncle Haymitch doesnt feel a need for anymore. There is a big plastic box which holds all of his money, would be really bad if someone ever made it down here to steal something. I'm curled up on a dusty old lounge chair. Its quite comfortable actually. I cant believe I just cried infront of them lot again.
I need to get over this Rye thing. He was the first and only person I ever loved. I did love Peeta at some point and I know I still do but I cant act on it until I get over his stupid brother. Maybe if I did act on it though, It would stop him from going to the Capitol. If Snow found out that he was with someone then maybe he would stop inviting him there. Well, its more like dragging him there but he likes to call it inviting. Atleast Finn is there to keep an eye on him though.
"Katniss?" I hear from the stairs and then the sound of footsteps which I automatically put to Leaven. Strange, I would have expected Peeta. His eyes lock on mine when he sees me. Then he scans the room. "Wow, there is a lot of crap down here." He says, which of course makes me laugh.
"I'm okay." I say. I know that he is thinking about it. He doesnt have to ask me.
"I know you are." He replies. We are both lying and we both know that but sometimes you just have to agree. "But, Peeta is worried. He sent me down. He said that he might not be as much help to you if you are thinking about Rye and thats where I come in."
"Why are you so good to me Leaven? I've torn your family in two. I dont understand why any of you even like me anymore." I say. With this whole Rye problem, I'd be surprised if they see him again for a while in his normal self.
"You havent torn our family in two Katniss. Without you, we would all be boring and I know that. Everytime something interesting has happened in our lives, you always had something to do with it. You're the reason that Peeta came home and I cant even thank you enough for that. I know you had nothing to do with it but Peeta only wanted to come home for you." That I did not know. "I remember what life was like before you where born. It was boring. Nothing ever happened to us. I was only young but I remember being bored most of the time and then you and Peeta where born and everything got fun. This thing with Rye is just another challenge that we have to take and if we all stick together then it will be easier. He will come round eventually and I know you will get over him. Maybe you will even become friends but thats all in the future. You just have to make it a nearer future and maybe everything will be better for us all." I nod at him and he pats me on the leg with a smile. "Come on, lets go back upstairs. They will all be worried." He grabs my hand and pulls me up, leading me back upstairs, my hand in his the whole time.
Back in the sitting room, the furniture is still all pushed to the side to make room for dancing. Holly is clinging onto Peeta's fake leg where he stands in the middle of the room. Everyone else is sat down on the furniture. "I think I have decided that I want to go to bed." I say to Peeta.
"Okay, I'll get our coats. Holly, can you put your shoes on please?" He asks his little sister and she runs off to the corner to get them before sitting down next to her father and pulling them on her really tiny feet. Peeta returns before she is even done and hands me my coat, pulling his over his shoulders. He helps Holly into her coat and we get to say goodbye.
"Dont let me spoil your evening. You lot have fun. I was fine earlier, I just needed to sleep. Goodbye everyone." I say to the room and I seem to get hugs off everyone. Whilst Peeta is saying goodbye to everyone, I pick Holly up off the floor. She's nowhere near heavy so its easy. Almost instantly, she falls asleep on my shoulder, just like she does with Peeta. Its comforting actually and I cant help thinking about Hope. Is this what it is going to be like for me and my future baby?
"Come on Katniss." Peeta says from my side, taking Holly from my shoulder. I knew he wouldnt let me carry Holly after everything that I have been through these past couple of weeks. It's kind of annoying actually, he seems to think I cant do anything.
At his, we put Holly to bed and he offers to make me some hot chocolate so I agree. We both end up sitting in his sitting room, drinking hot chocolate, him sat leaning back and me led on the sofa with my legs across his. I can feel myself falling asleep and I know that I'm going to have to put my drink down incase I spill it on the furniture. "Its really nice here." I decide to say. Trying to spark up a conversation to keep me awake. I think one of the main reasons why I'm so tired is because Peeta is stroking circles on my legs and the strange thing is, I love it.
"Really? I dont really like it..." Peeta says, looking at me.
"No... with you..." I reply. I dont really like the Victors Village houses either. Too empty. Even if it is full of people it still feels too empty.
A smile appears on his face and his eyes lock on mine. "Oh right. Ill take that as a compliment then." I laugh at him and he returns the laugh.
"You should." I say. He looks as if he is going to say something but shuts his mouth. His eyebrows crease and his eyes go back down to my feet which are still across him.
"Do you want to live here?" He quickly blurts out, still staring down. Keeping his eyes away from me.
"What?" I ask. Now that woke me up. That took me by surprise. I mean, I saw it coming eventually but not so soon.
He looks up at me and I cant seem to take my eyes away from him as his face turns serious. The face I only see when something has happened, any other time he is normally smiling or laughing. "Im serious. you could live here. I'll take care of you and the baby. Cook you whatever you want. What do you say?" Honestly, I dont know what to say. Would it really be that bad to live with Peeta. I mean, technically he has been living at mine the past week and a half. And it has been an amazing week and a half. Granted, I was in bed for it all but he was nicer to me than he has ever been, which I didnt think was possible, and my mother likes him. Prim loves him and he treats me better than Rye ever did so why am I finding it really hard to say yes?
"Peeta i cant. I'm not old enough." I say, coming up with a reason why I shouldnt.
"Yes but there is one way to get around that rule and its something that you are old enough for." He says.
"Whats that?" I ask but I'm pretty sure that I already know where this is going. There is only one way in this district that you can move out before you are 20.
"Katniss will you marry me?" I knew that it was coming but it still took me by surprise. The way he said it was so different than I had ever imagined being asked that. He said it so casually that he could have just slipped it into the middle of a conversation, randomnly. He actually kind of did and it fit so well that it scares the hell out of me.
"What?" I ask. I dont think I can bring myself to say anything else at the moment.
He pulls himself up more on the sofa, still looking at me. I'm pretty sure he's leaned a little closer to me aswell but I've been focusing on his eyes so I'm not sure. "I'm serious! I want to Marry you Katniss, I love you with all my heart. I want us to spend the rest of out lives together and I want to have more kids with you, kids that have your eyes and your lips and ... your hair... and ... my ...last name, thats all I wish from me. But please just consider it?" He asks and I can feel the tears threatening in my eyes. I dont think it would be that bad to marry him, he has always treated me right and he has always been there for me when I needed someone. He has hardly left my side through this entire 'Rye' thing and I love him a lot more than I did before because of that. I told myself that I needed a way to get over Rye and maybe this is how I can.
"Well what about, if you make it back from the Capitol in one piece, I will marry you that night." I say and his face lights up. I know he has loved me for years and I think now, I realise that I have too. Not as long as he has loved me but I've felt a little bit more than friendship since that day when we where 7 at Finnick's parade where I said that I would marry him. I wouldnt have said that if we where just friends.
"Really?" He asks.
"Yeh." I reply.
"Deal. I'll make sure to be extra careful this time then." He says as if we just made any old deal but he still has that look in his eye that I havent seen since we where kids.
"You better." I reply. I pull myself up into a siting position and going off instinct, I lean in to kiss him. He doesnt even wait, he just smashes his lips into mine and keeps me close with his hand on the back of my head. We are brought out of the trance by the sound of a cup smashing on the floor. Hot liquid spread out against my foot and I let out a loud yelp, making Peeta jump. He has shoes on so it isnt bothering him at all but it turns out that I did drop my hot chocolate and it burnt my foot. Great.
2 days later on sunday, he gets onto the night train to the Capitol. Everyone is here to say goodbye to him. We havent told anybody about him asking me to marry him yet. I dont know when we are going to tell them though. After everyone else has said goodbye to him, I get my chance. I've been hanging back so I could say goodbye last. Rye is saying goodbye to him at the moment but it literally is just the word Goodbye before he stalks off to stand with his family. Thats when its my turn. I run to meet him and throw my arms around his shoulders. "Be careful. Dont annoy anyone again and definitely do not get hurt." I say into his shoulder.
"Are you joking. I'm coming back in one piece remember." He says with a slight sarcastic tone in his voice. "Oh that reminds me, I got something for you yesterday." He reaches into his pocket and closes his fist around whatever he has for me.
"What is it?" I ask him. He laughs slighly and opens his fist.
"I thought that a fiancee should wear a ring." And in the middle of his palm is a small gold band with a green gem on in the middle of it. I know he has enough money to pay for it but where the hell did he get it. "I bought it from a catalogue from the Capitol. I asked Logan at the blacksmiths but he could only do the band so I ordered it yesterday and it arrived a couple of hours ago. That must have been the man I heard at the door earlier on today. I was in the kitchen though and it was Peeta's house so I left him too it. "You want it?" He asks and I nod my head so he puts it on the correct finger for me. Thats when I reach up and kiss him hard. I instantly realise that it is a bad idea. Everyone is watching us and none of them know about me and Peeta. Rye is probably blowing his top right now but I feel like I've accomplished something there. I hope he is jealous as hell.
"I love you." I say when I pull away from him. I think that is the first time I have said that and by the way his eyes light up again it must be the first time I have said that.
"I love you too." He replies, kissing me one more time, this time on the nose and dissapears into the train. I stand there for a minute before walking back over to everyone. They are all watching me with such intensity that I feel really uncomfortable.
"He's dead. I'm gonna actually kill him." I hear Rye say behind me. I turn around to face him.
"What so you're allowed to sleep with somebody else but I'm not even allowed to kiss anybody else?" I ask through gritted teeth.
"He is my brother and you are my girlfriend." He says.
"Firstly, him being your brother doesnt make any difference and secondly, I'm not your girlfriend anymore, I'm Peeta's." Thats when he looses his temper and raises his hand to hit me again. I feel it before I expected to and my cheek stings. Leaven intervines and pulls Rye away but not before I give a hard punch to the nose. I can feel myself trembling as Leaven comes back. "I'm alright." I say to everyone standing round me. "I also have something to tell you guys. I didnt want to say it whilst Rye was here, I dont know what he would do to Peeta."
"What is it?" My mother asks.
"Me and Peeta...are... getting married. And I'm very happy about it, so dont question it please." I say. I can see my mother smiling slightly. Masan is stood next to her, looking happy. Brooke looks like she is about to cry and Prim is jumping around with joy. Leaven pulls me in for a hug and thats when I feel Holly tug at my pant leg. I pull away from Leaven and look down at her, pulling her up into my arms.
"Does this mean you get to live with me?" She asks. I nod and she throws her arms around my shoulders.
"I'd really appreciate it if none of you told Rye until I'm sure he can handle it." I say and they all nod, then something strange happens. A group hug. Its strangely comforting and warm.
"When are you getting married?" Leaven asks me as everyone starts pulling away.
"The night he gets back. He asked me the night of the dinner at Uncle Haymitch's house and we made a deal that if he comes back in one piece then I will marry him that night." I show my mother the ring and she sighs. I think I probably have the most expensive ring that anyone has ever had in this district.
The happiness doesnt last long as cameras start rolling in on Thursday. Apparently, they will be staying for a couple of days. Peeta told me that they are here to keep an eye on me. They are known to come every couple of years to see how things are doing in the districts, as if they care, this time though Finnick got told off one of his charges that they are here for 'a girl that Peeta knows and Haymitch Abernathy's neice', which is obviously me. Apparently Snow doesnt like me so I have to be on my best behaviour. But I have a plan. Snow has to fall. I have to get the rest of the districts to know about what he does. This is the only time that I can do it though. The Cameras are live to the rest of the country and this wont happen again for a while. I got Toni from the Electronic shop in the deeper part of town to help me out. She is 19 and probably one of the only people that has any idea about this stuff.
The plan is to steal one of the cartridge things that make it live and put it in the camera that Toni brought with her. She stole it off her dad to do this and I hope he doesnt find out. I dont want to get her into trouble for something that was my idea. She will be getting the cartridge and meeting me back at Peeta's house where we have already set up the camera and everything. We just have to make sure that it goes live. That is what Toni is for. Hopefully everything goes well. Nobody but her knows that I'm doing this. If they did then all hell would break loose and I know it would.
Toni returns at 7pm. Its Saturday. Its taken us this long to get one of them cartridge's. I dont actually know what they are called. She puts it into the camera and instructs me to stand in the correct place where she set all of lighting up. There is a little screen set up that has the feed on thats live across the country. Currently, its just the square but if this actually works then my face will be on it.
"You ready Katniss?" Toni asks.
"As ready as I'll ever be I suppose." I reply. I need to get this over with and quickly.
"Okay... 1...2...3." Thats when the picture on the screen changes. It flickers slightly and a lot of static comes through at first but eventually my face appears and I face the camera and say what I need to say.
"Most of you have no idea who I am or what I am doing. My name is Katniss and I live in district 12. All of you living out there, even in the Capitol, do you think that this is an ideal way of living? Because I dont. The deaths every year. What if that was your son or daughter. Your girlfriend or your boyfriend? Your best friend? You sit back and do nothing as you watch them die. Why? Because you are all scared. I know the feeling. I have spent my whole life scared. But no more. I cant live in fear of the Capitol. Of Snow. He has left us all out here to starve, slaving away in the Coal mines of 12, In the woods of 7, In the orchards of 11 and for what? For the Capitol. Everything we do is for the Capitol and we get nothing in return. Tell me how that is fair? They take and they take and they never give anything back. We are all being robbed, not just of Supplies but we are also being robbed of our lives. The Capitol have to pay for what they have done. They have to be shown that its wrong to kill children every year.-" I'm quickly cut off by the sound of the front door being blasted open. The Peackeepers. I had a feeling that it wouldnt last long. "- Just think about what I have said. Someday it could save your life. Lets make a better tomorrow, today." Toni is about to cut the feed when the Peackeepers fly through the door of the office and grab her by the arms. The feed is still live to the country. "let her go!" I shout.
I feel my arms being restrained and I'm lifted off the ground, kicking out to get free, knocking the camera over. The screen is just now showing the floor of the office. The peackeeper behind Toni hits her in the head with his gun and blood splatters the floor on the camera. Thats going to look really bad on the video I just hope I got through to everyone. Thats when I feel a great weight hit me in the side of the head and everything goes black.
Well that went well. I hope you liked reading it. Please review and let me know what you think of it. I spent ages trying to get this right.