Natalia came back to the Red Room a day later. Nothing told what had happened except for bruises on her skin. Kudrin hadn't mentioned what the politician liked in his bedroom and how it would complicate things to report to her handler. She had been 24 hours late but with the wanted information. The man had been unusually protective of his easy girls and the brutal way he treated them. Natalia was used to the pain, so she had simply allowed him to have his way. Especially since she needed the information, but she still had to hold back to not teaching him a lesson on how to treat women properly. Just a few well-placed punches and a butter knife that would've been his last time spending the night with a woman.

The bruises weren't the only thing different about her. They had dyed her hair blonde, making her look like a young Marilyn Monroe. For Natalia, it was weird seeing herself in the mirror now. The blonde was to make her more appealing to the politician, but each time Natalia saw her reflection, it was like a stranger stared back at her. The bruises combined with the blonde made her feel weird, as if this woman staring back at her wasn't Natalia but her cover Sonia.

Once she was back in the Red Room, they took her to a separate room to interrogate her. Apparently, someone had made it known that she had taken way too long. It sounded like someone voiced concerns about her efficiency and added some more bruises to the ones she already had. As soon as she was dismissed, Natalia randomly passed Kudrin. How the older woman looked at her, she knew who had exaggerated things. Natalia looked cold at the woman and wandered around the facility for a bit before she slowly made her way to her room.

He slept poorly, got up when he found it acceptable, and now appropriately dressed, he was off to eat at the designated time. He walked steadily down the halls and stepped into the hall. It was only half full, as it usually was at this time. He had thought to skip eating this morning and go straight to his personal training. A few times if he slept deeply and woke unsteady, he missed eating and went to train alone instead. But he knew he couldn't skip such a thing today as much as he would rather. It was part of his routine and changing that would not look good after yesterday with Kudrin.

He walked through the tables of girls sitting and eating their regiment diets and stepped up to receive his. The Soldier didn't recognize the woman already in line. Was she a visiting Widow? She looked quite a bit like Natalia from behind, although he was sure those thoughts were inappropriate and abnormal for him. Likely, the similarity to Natalia prompted the thoughts; James noticed many things about her that he should not.

He waited in line at rest in his usual stance, glanced coldly to the new woman's face, and found himself greatly surprised.. His cold expression waned to match his surprise as he saw Natalia. Oh. Her hair must have been changed for the mission. It threw him off; he was not used to seeing her so... blonde. It seemed like it hid the natural fire he knew laid not far from the surface.

James gave her a stiff nod and looked away, overly conscious of his surroundings and his own actions.

He immediately noted significant bruising around her neck and peeking out from the shirt around her shoulder. Fresher bruises, barely fresher, were forming near her temple. It was a true struggle to stay stoic as a deadly anger throttled him. If he had his way, he'd find whatever politician had done this and end him most miserably. The thought that Natalia might have already so consoled him, but only just.

His mind jumped past his anger as someone came up on his other side to wait in line. Right, Natalia didn't know of the changes. But any attempt to tell her would be seen, indeed. So instead, he looked down the line and when Natalia caught his eye, he set his usual uninterested gaze on her. He thought of nothing, hoping his eyes would be devoid of emotion as he looked at her.

He may not be able to act what was expected of James with her... but he ought to act as the Winter Soldier would. As he would. Natalia was smart enough to recognize the change and know that those looks no longer applied to her. She knew that well... as did he since he saw and felt so much whenever his eyes landed on her. A lack of response would hopefully convince her that they could not act anyway but what was expected of them in this public setting.

But perhaps after Kudrin's interrogation yesterday, his usual reaction might be to question someone he once trained and had been his charge. He debated for a moment before he turned to look at her again, his face still carefully composed. Yes, that would do, and he could also warn her this way.

"Kudrin tells me you were late," He said crisply, his voice a monotone. "Did you fail, Black Widow?" He questioned, but his eyes said more to her now. He didn't care if she'd failed; he knew she had not because he knew her skill, but James wanted her to understand why he was asking.

Natalia stood in line, trying her best for once to look like every other girl in the Red Room. She hadn't been able to sleep all night long. Something about her previous mission made her feel weird, almost dirty. All she wanted to do was cover up the wounds with makeup, which would be frowned upon. So she wouldn't be able to do that. Natalia was supposed to wear these like battle scars - even though they weren't those kinds of scars. To wear them with pride instead of show the need to hide the imprint of that man's finger.

At first, she didn't even recognize the Winter Soldier coming to the line. She was unusually absorbed in her own world, thinking about what had happened. But she turned around and her gaze was met by something stoic and cold. No, first surprise then coldness. The way he looked at her made her heart drop painfully. She hadn't realized how much she wanted to see and have him around for comfort until now. But something was different. It screamed right at her. His coldness hurt - she simply wasn't used to that anymore.

She stared at him too long before turning her back on him. Her head held high as she pushed the sleeves of her shirt up, only revealing more dark bruises and some minor cuts. "Soldier..." Natalia simply greeted him in a way that she should've years ago but never did. Her voice was filled with respect and coldness. Two things she had lacked in her childhood and never bothered to conceal in front of this man.

Soon it would be her turn and she could move away from the cold man next to her. As much as she yearned for his touch, gentle gazes and smiles, Natalia couldn't deal with the Winter Soldier right now. Doubts of what might've happened came to mind. Did they wipe him? What have they found out? Was she paranoid? Her gaze almost naturally went to Kudrin. What was this woman up to? After all, it was not normal to withhold information about one's target like she had with hers. The usual cold smile was on the older woman's lips. She almost looked at Kudrin in disgust but could control her facial expression into a mask.

His words brought her back to reality and she turned her face to James. An eyebrow raised, asking him silently what was going on with Kudrin. She didn't expect a reply, though.

"No, I did not, Soldier," she simply replied in English. She looked at him in confusion for a few seconds. Her mask accidentally slipped, but it was almost instantly replaced by no expression, but then she understood and frowned while accepting the food.

Her focus shifted from James to Kudrin, who was still openly staring. What had happened? Her hatred burnt towards that woman. A big part of her wanted to challenge Kudrin and fight against her. But the rational part knew that she wouldn't win. It would be a useless fight resulting in Natalia getting killed just like Kudrin wanted. So she needed to act like nothing was going on. Simply for her own pleasure to tick that woman off.

She responded in English... so she understood. She always spoke English when she said things she should not. He raised his eyebrow back, an unusual gesture for him. But she looked confused, and the subtlety of it hurt him some to wonder what she thought. He wondered if she misunderstood.

"Good, Natalia," He responded simply, quietly. Though he used her name in hopes of assuring her. Their words could not be heard, and his back was to most everyone who might be able to read his lips.

James returned his gaze to the line as they moved forward. Hopefully, Kudrin would see nothing and her suspicions or whims would leave in pursuit of something else.

She took the food and walked away, and James did the same. He went off to eat alone in the corner as he usually did, his watchful eyes scoping out Kudrin and then returning to his food. He wanted to finish so he could release some of this tension in training.

Natalia looked at him quietly as he simply said good. She stared at him a moment longer before taking her breakfast and going to the opposite side of the room. The former redhead didn't seem to realize that he had just called her by her first name instead of her alias. Something about the whole situation made it worse for her. She wasn't sure what was going on, but she felt that Kudrin was behind all of it, or why would he mention her?

James' eyes flashed in the darkness. There was no moon to be seen; it was hidden behind the cloudy skies of the cold Russian winter. The snow had since hardened over and he was thankful it wasn't there to slow him down or for him to need to trace other's steps to leave no trails.

James knew this may be ill-advised, but he found himself compelled to. He'd been forced to all week. Having to be careful, he neither avoided nor engaged Natalia. He still said hello and spoke simply when near, so there was no sudden lack of communication to confirm Kudrin's suspicions. The severe lack of real contact with her made him far antsier than he'd realized. It had been the better part of four days since Natalia's return. He worried for her over her injuries and wanted to know if Kudrin had approached her. He also missed that contact... he missed even talking to her in an empty hall.

Maybe it was arrogance that led James to sneak along the grounds. He knew Natalia would likely disapprove. From the training facility where the young candidates slept to the other building where Kudrin, the guards off duty, staff and anyone who graduated would stay.

Kudrin was off premises, she did not make it public knowledge, but his handler and Pchelvostiv spoke freely in front of him. Always confident it meant nothing to the Winter Soldier. The department wanted her yearly review of all the girls. The guards were nothing short of simple to slip by for him, he knew all of the security here, and James quickly scaled the building to where he knew Natalia stayed. He used the ledges to propel him up. He had infiltrated many more secured places than Natalia's chambers or anywhere in the Red Room. This was simple for him without Kudrin's watchful gaze, there would be no one to miss the Winter Soldier. No one interrupted him when he slept.

His hair covered his face as he swung up to the sill and pulled himself up. He hung with his metal hand and used his flesh one to open Natalia's window. He surveyed the area outside, and found it was too dark to see from the other building and Natalia's light was fortunately off or dimmed by curtains. James found no one watching, so he slipped into the room.

He instantly landed in a crouch, awaiting an attack from Natalia, who surely would realize someone slipping into her window.

"It's me," He called, hopeful to still any attacks but ready to catch any aimed his way with his metal arm.

The next few days in the Red Room had been lonely. She hadn't even gone to the ballet room, which she usually did to get different thoughts. But from all these mirrors, it seemed like another girl was staring back at her. Natalia had started to hate her blonde hair and felt compelled to simply chop it off. But she knew that she wasn't allowed to do so. So, she stayed like this, merely hoping she would be able to get back to her natural hair color again.

It was silly, but the girls always used to say the auburn color looked like autumn. She liked that thought. It was strangely comforting. Especially because fall was followed by Winter. Her Winter. So it reminded her of James.

Kudrin spoke once to her over the next four days. She told her how disappointed she was in her for not getting the information in time and for handling the situation so poorly. Natalia had to bite her tongue to not snap at the older woman. To her, it felt like it was Kudrin's fault: she had missed telling her things about this man. How was she supposed to escape the man's mansion if he had her watched 24/7 by his security? It had been ridiculous. Yet what shocked her during the conversation was that Kudrin intended to send guards into her room at night. To teach her how to handle men properly in bed. So something like this wouldn't happen again.

Ever since she was sleeping with a knife under her pillow. It was quieter than a gun but handled adequately; it allowed her to inflict pain without killing the guard who was foolish enough to join her bed. During her time as a student, the guards had been too afraid to visit her. Those small girls were unprotected game to the guards once they reached a certain age. But her link to the Winter Soldier had spooked all of them off. They still remembered what he had done after finding out she was made to fight for her food all these years ago.

Natalia was sleeping restlessly as he moved through her window. Her subconscious almost instantly registered something was off, so she woke. Yet she acted like she was still sleeping while listening to her surroundings. Carefully her hand slipped underneath her pillow and just as he spoke, she had already thrown the knife. It wasn't really sharp, given that she had stolen it from the dining area, but if it hit the person at the right angle, she was sure it would still inflict a lot of pain, giving her enough time to attack without the person touching her.

"Winter..?" she spoke carefully, sitting up once she realized who that voice belonged to.

It was dark and while he could not see the knife, James could hear it as it rushed through the air. With his metal hand up, he had little to worry over as the blade collided with the metal arm with a sharp clang, then bounced off to rattle on the floor.

He stood then, slowly stretching from the crouch as she called to him. James heard the bed squeak and turned to shut the window now that he wouldn't be attacked. Rightfully attacked, but he'd rather not gain a mysterious injury.

"Yes," He answered and leaned to pick up her knife before walking over to her bed. He looked at it, it seemed like a dining knife. A memory passed over him and he smirked into the darkness his eyes were starting to adjust to already. "Here, don't say I never return your knives, Natalia," He held the knife out, amusement filling his voice.

Natalia stared at the dark silhouette of a man as she looked confused at him. Her gaze moved to the opened window and she wondered what he was doing here. At the same time, she was more than happy to have him here. His company was more than welcome and far better than she had expected.

Her glance went to the knife and she took it from him. Natalia stayed quiet, obviously unsure how to react to his surprise visit. Finally, she took the knife from him and mumbled, "Thanks..."

She stared at him in disbelief as she placed the knife back underneath the pillow. Though she was sure it was really him standing before her, Natalia quickly rose to her feet and hugged him tightly.

"James..." she mumbled relieved that he was here. Slowly a smile formed on her lips and she finally commented, "You still owe me one, though!"

Natalia held him tight against her own body, "What...what are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here."

She muttered thanks and he wondered if she was still too asleep to understand the joke. He'd left the one she'd asked for behind on their last mission... really the last time he'd gotten to see her like this. Alone, freely. It felt so long ago.

She moved out of the bed and a soft smile pulled on his face as he gladly wrapped metal and flesh around her waist. He nuzzled his face against her neck, burying his nose in her hair. After so many teasing brushes and nothing, he held onto her tightly, savoring the chance.

"Well, that is a poor knife," He agreed. Hardly a knife by his standards, but Natalia shouldn't have a weapon while in the facility. But of course, when did Natalia do as she was told? James sighed, pulled his face back from her, but kept embracing her.

"I..." He looked at her, struggling for words. He hadn't spoken much in the last week; his voice was rusty and unused. It seemed only with her did he have a chance to use it besides short direction to the girls. His world was very quiet without her there. "I needed to see you," He told her.

Also James needed to check on her. It was as strong an urge as he'd ever had... as strong as his need to complete a mission was. A strange sensation that had taken him a few days to recognize as protectiveness. He worried for her, and he wanted to check-in. About Kudrin, but also to quietly check on the bruising. It was nothing she couldn't handle, maybe she thought nothing of them, but he hated seeing her injured.

"Kudrin is off-premise at the RRA's yearly meeting," He explained so she would not worry over it.

Natalia held him close and rested her head against his shoulder, just allowing herself to feel his presence. It was the first time since leaving for the mission that she felt like she was able to relax. Just to allow herself to soak in his warmth and presence. It did miracles to her mood, which had threatened to drop more and more each day.

"It's enough to scare those away. Kudrin's latest idea was to officially consider me as fair game to the guards," she explained quietly, as she nodded towards her door. Yet it explained perfectly why she had a knife with her. Besides, whoever decided to come and visit while thinking with his lower region deserved nothing less than to become a eunuch at her hand. It might urge Kudrin on even more, but Natalia didn't care.

Relief rushed through her as he explained that he had wanted to see her. She smiled to herself and looked up. "I wanted to see you, too... but ever since... you acted so strangely and I thought..." she began, unsure how to end her sentence. Natalia wasn't sure what she had thought. Suddenly the Red Room felt like a really lonely place without knowing James by her side.

"Explains why she hasn't stabbed imaginary daggers into my head during the day," she mumbled to herself over his explanation of Kudrin's location. But it also brought a frown to her forehead. "What is it between you and Kudrin lately? She seems to be everywhere you are," she asked him and moved out of her embrace, almost instantly missing the contact between them.

"I know," He growled darkly. He had hoped it had been simply about him and that it was a test of his connection to her that Kudrin would leave her be when he did not react. But, unfortunately, it was not so, and he felt that cold anger roll over him freshly. It made him want to step from Natalia. Made him want to drive a knife through their throats. "Hopefully, they are not so foolish," He added, his voice still darkened. It comforted him to know she had the knife now, not because of its usefulness but for her intent.

She looked up at him and he smiled at her. But her own faltered and he could see that confusion from the mess hall return, and there was pain. His metal arm wrapped around her more securely, as if that would reassure her. He raised his other hand to her face. "Oh, Natalia," He sighed slowly, gently running the back of his finger along her chin. "It was merely a warning," He assured her. No part of him could truly turn so cold to her ever again. She had become too much to him...

James sighed at her question as the secondary reason he came here rose. But, first, they needed to talk through what was happening with Kudrin. He was pleased now with his decision to come, especially if she second-guessed that his coolness to her was nothing more than necessary.

"We two had a little chat while you were away," He explained and his eyes distanced slightly as focus narrowed his mind. His voice was still annoyed, and with her touch gone, his usual clipped tone had returned to his voice. "Either she suspects something has changed between us or it's another of her petty games to disrupt my mission," He continued his voice turning to gravel as he finished the sentence. The quiet gave way to the subtle whine of his fingers clenching powerfully into a fist.

The Soldier didn't like having hindrances to his mission that he could not eliminate. That woman was a thorn in his side, one he was not permitted to remove. Her pride blinded her to the true purpose of him here. He was never meant to take her role; he was meant to enhance it and improve efficiency within new assets to the Department and the State. Her ego was ineffective and yet the Soldier could not change that. "Ever since we were both punished for you running away as a girl, and I was told to take a stronger hand in training, Luydmila usually finds some way to create problems for the mission." He told her matter of factly.

Natalia shrugged and spoke casually about it. "I don't know. They left me alone most of the time. The story about a small and weak girl killing some of the guards left some respect. They take other girls also knowing I was your student and not Kudrin's. The guards fear you. But I'm not your student anymore, so who knows if they still fear me enough to resist the temptation," she said, her thoughts aloud. Of course, her own past had risen as some kind of story. Not many had attempted and almost succeeded in fleeing the Red Room after all.

She felt relieved that she had simply thought about the situation too much. He still liked her and that was good. Natalia placed her hand on his cheek while he ran his finger along her chin. Her gaze instantly fell to his lips wanting to feel his on hers. Natalia licked her lips unconsciously and leaned forward, pressing a gentle and short kiss on his lips. "That's good... I was just...worried," she whispered.

Natalia was confused about this mission of his and was about to ask. But he continued and it brought a frown to her forehead. "Why were you punished for something I did when you didn't know me?" she asked and looked worried at him. Natalia didn't want him to get hurt for something she did. Especially if it wasn't even his fault. She stayed quiet and tilted her head to the side. It was confusing and surprising to her. She had never actually thought about his role in training all these girls. James had simply always been there- to train.

"Kudrin hates everyone she sees as a threat. Especially those who don't get broken and could take over her place," she told him. Somehow trying to persuade him it was nothing personal.

"Besides, if you want to get back on Kudrin, be nice to those girls. They're more willing to train if you show them things that they consider useful. Believe me, I've been there-" she thought of a way to mock Kudrin and continued. "-Most of them like her in the way of an evil Stepmother. They don't have anyone to look up to. But be nice and they start liking you. Nothing bothers Kudrin more than those girls taking a stand for anyone but her. So perhaps for your own sake, you should stop seeing them as your mission but many small assistants against Kudrin and successfully prepare them for their future."

Natalia knew that playing Kudrin's game was dangerous. Especially if she already considered one as her enemy. But perhaps she could help him get some sympathy. Even if that meant playing into Kudrin's cards for now and showing that they did form something other than a partnership.

His eyes slipped closed at her warm hand on his cheek. It made his anger over the situation with the guards fade. He couldn't do anything, he knew, which was strange for him. He'd need to rely on Natalia and hope they weren't complete fools. Her hand moved subtly, and the gentle touch was so different for him, that he craved it now. His eyes opened and closed again as she leaned forward and kissed him. He barely had time to respond or enjoy the warmth there.

"I'm sorry to have worried you," He muttered quietly, looking at her. But talk of Kudrin and his mission drew him far away from all this.

"If I am not completely effective in every mission, I am punished," He stated simply, his voice a monotone. It was a simple fact, if the Soldier failed, he was punished, and if he did not have complete success, it was as good as failing. He spoke to her, his eyes centered behind her head as if he were reporting to a handler and not speaking to the woman he knew. He didn't notice her worry or more than her presence. "Your escape showed a defect in RRA training. A lack of discipline. A lack of loyalty to the state. Efforts need to be redoubled to ensure resources were not wasted on poorly trained assets."

His gaze turned to her as she gave him information. Get back? Kudrin was a necessary annoyance. Despite her few small failures, she had run the Red Room effectively and produced effective, skilled, fully functioning Black Widows.

"Kudrin is a necessary part of the mission," He told her. Nice? Nice did not impose effective training. Their willingness was not a necessary component. Not when they showed a willingness to be trained to begin with. Romanova had not been so willing, but... his eyes flickered to her face as he grew confused. Natalia had been different. They... did not; should not take a stand. It was not to be encouraged... they should stand for no one but Russia.

He felt more confused as she continued and pain shot through his head.

"But all your successes are my mission..." He explained and... his stony gaze flickered, his mind catching at that.

No... 'you'... that was wrong. Natalia was not... not one of those girls now. She had graduated and she was no longer part of the mission. She was his partner now...

He blinked, suddenly noticing that Natalia was standing in front of him. James wasn't sure when he lost sight of that, but she was not simply a mission; she was more than that. "Yours used to be, anyways," He amended quieter, looking over her and pulling himself together. It did not work. He suddenly felt scattered and turned away from her and sank onto the bed she'd left, rubbing a hand across his eyes to try to wipe out the pain pounding in his head and making him feel weak.

Things felt... oddly twisted and he wasn't sure how to think at the moment... "Kudrin wishes to sabotage you; she never believed you should be trained after you ran. You're a reminder the state has the final say in all matters as much as I am. She wishes to find a way to make it my failure alone, not hers," That way she could continue on in the Red Room as she liked with no reminders to anyone of her failures and his presence gone. No longer enforcing certain things the state told him to. That must be it because she couldn't really suspect the two of them.

The two of them... James' eyes swept up, heavy as he looked over Natalia. The skin between his eyebrows wrinkled as he fought to separate things. Right... them... why did that feel so disconnected suddenly? Moments ago, he was sure it had not been that way. Moments ago, he'd been enjoying the warmth of her soft lips on his again after so long.

"Don't worry about it..." she told him and continued to caress his cheek even after their shared kiss. Natalia looked at him, hoping that he was alright. To her, it seemed like he was zoning out. To her, it seemed silly now that she had worried about losing him, but Natalia couldn't help. It seemed like his whole demeanor towards her had changed while she had been away.

Natalia frowned and noticed how he didn't glance at her but darted his gaze to some point on the other side of the dark room. She listened to him quietly as he recited why he had been punished, but still, it didn't seem fair. The redhead hadn't been part of his classes by then. She had only trained with him on infrequent occasions before. She was sure that he hadn't even known her by then. Natalia had been one of many girls.

"If anyone was to be punished for what had happened, it would've been the guards. They obviously hadn't secured me properly and actually done their job. Everyone just thought that I was no threat but a sweet little girl. I wasn't and I proved that," she told him how she saw that situation. This might be why the guards, including Kudrin, had attempted to torture her. The Winter Soldier had done the same, but it hadn't felt as cruel, and somehow, he was someone who had almost instantly caught her interest.

"I am sorry that they have hurt you for that. I'm more than thankful that you've trained me..." Natalia told him truthfully and dropped her hand as he seemed to not even see her at the moment.

"Kudrin thinks she can keep people in control by threatening them. She's a..." Natalia began but became quiet before she would eventually say something that she would regret. She trusted James but insulting Kudrin openly would only lead to trouble if someone heard her.

Natalia frowned as soon as he continued about her still being his mission. It was strange that he still felt that way. She had obviously graduated from the program and had thought of evolving into a partner or friend in his eyes instead of a student. But Natalia stayed quiet as he continued. Finally, James seemed to falter and she stepped between his legs as he sat down. She pulled his head to her stomach and gently caressed his hair while placing her other hand on his upper back.

"Don't worry about Kudrin," she told him with a gentle voice as she continued to cradle his hair. "She's just an old woman with nothing else to do than bother others-" she sighed "-I used to call her mantis when I was younger because she looks like one." Natalia chuckled, hoping to lift his mood. She leaned forward and placed a kiss on his hair.

There had been a failure in the Red Room and he'd been punished for it. He took it as he should. All things returned to those in charge, or in his case, all involved in a mission. She had proved herself, to the Red Room, to the state, to everyone. That was probably why Kudrin was bothered so much by her. Apologies were not necessary; it was as they should be.

She came closer and James let his body go slack as she pulled him forward. He leaned against her, focusing on her fingers sliding through his hair instead of the phantom pains in his head. They always came on quickly, or not at all... and they either lingered or he snapped back into focus.

He was not focused now. Or, perhaps he was simply focused on her instead. His shoulders, which had been straight back in attention, slumped, and he felt the pain ebb away as his mind went blank differently. James just focused on the feeling of her fingers stroking through his hair.

"I never used to," He responded, but that was when he had nothing to worry over. James smiled against her shirt at her small joke and the feathery kiss on his head. It brought him back around and he got his hands to rest on her waist, even if he couldn't summon the strength to move his head or make her stop. James didn't want her to.

Eventually, he slid his head up to look at her, but he kept his hands wrapped tightly around her waist. "There are repercussions now," He answered, sitting so close to her he knew them well. So now there was... this, between them, and he could never allow that to come to light. "We must keep our heads down." That was not something Natalia was mainly known for.

Natalia watched his body as he seemed to slowly relax. She caressed his head and slowly started to massage his skull. To Natalia, it was foreign to have her hands on someone's head without having the intention to snap one's neck. She simply wanted to make him relax again. Natalia smiled as he relaxed under her touch and even placed his hands on her waist. "That's good. Kudrin will always be a bother.", she whispered.

She glanced down at him and listened. "Actions always force up reactions. That's how life goes. So nothing to worry about there. It's just a matter of how you'll handle that. Kudrin is good at applying pressure on people. We just need to handle it well," she told him and dismissed the thought of keeping her head down. Natalia would fight back if that woman wanted to interfere in her business. She had already made her run right into a trap with that politician. So it was time for her to take action as well. Natalia had lost her fear of Kudrin a long time ago.

He glanced up at her as she spoke in English and he didn't know why, but it further soothed him. He was worried that she meant to do something momentarily, but she continued and it became clear she meant something else. So good, as she said, they simply needed to handle it as if there were nothing.

Which would be more complicated than he thought. He ran his thumbs beneath her shirt, deciding it would be hard to do so. Look where he was now, and sure he knew they needed to iron out these details... but he also just wanted to be near her again. Really near her...

James sighed softly and stood up slowly, raising one hand to caress her face and keeping the other at her waist. "However, I may act," He said, thinking of her earlier worries. "This is how I want to be," He told her and smiled as he looked over her face. He could act cold; it was as natural to him as breathing. Except for when he was near her, it became so much harder to do. That wasn't his natural state, as if he were something different, but that was just Natalia. She created those things in him, he knew.

James closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to hers needily.

Natalia soothed him further but knew she was keeping things for herself. It would be better for him if she kept this a secret. Sometimes you need to loosen some small bricks of one's success to force them to trip and fall. In that case, it was to persuade these girls that Kudrin didn't want their best. These girls were like Natalia, so having them take her stance and make them realize that the Winter Soldier wasn't the big bad wolf might be easy. They related to her and Natalia understood them.

"Then be like that. I do like this, James. You're not as scary as everyone thinks you are. You never were - Not even when I was a child and just got to know you," she whispered and smiled back at him. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him heatedly. Her mind went blank and she wouldn't have cared if someone caught them right now. Again he made her feel like her heart was able to burst with happiness as her eyes fluttered close.

Natalia had such big ideas, and while he wouldn't say it and bring her down, James knew on some fundamental level that it was not how they wanted their Soldier to act. They wanted him to be 'scary'. It was effective.

She was silly, he thought, to see him as anything else. He was glad. He was... because he didn't want Natalia to look at him any other way than the way she did now. But he also knew she was the only person who saw such things because they weren't there otherwise. But sometimes, he doubted that. It didn't matter to their conversation because he couldn't simply act differently. It wasn't what was expected of him.

He'd been near dreaming lately of consequences. James knew whatever... happened; he knew it would lead to the cold. Whatever it was... he sensed he wouldn't come out of it. Or... something that could just be the dream-like qualities of it, but he knew in reality, if he looked as if he were failing to live up to what they wanted, he would be removed. He'd likely never see her again, then. Which would be far harder than pretending now.

As she circled her arms around him, he pulled her flush against him, and he decided none of that really mattered if there were times such as these. Times when he felt her so close and his body sung with an unknown energy and raw joy. He didn't care what he was so long as he could be this with her.

To Natalia, he had always been a giant puzzle to solve. But nevertheless, he was interesting enough for her to follow his training and want to make a difference in her appearance in the Red Room. She owed him so much that she had started to train and not simply take in all those theoretical things. That's why she had eventually been able to graduate. Even when she had been reluctant to learn there in the first place.

She more than gladly pulled him closer to herself. Her usual awareness of her surroundings lowered drastically and she didn't care about anything but the man in front of her anymore. So Natalia didn't realize her door opened with a silent squeak. A drunken guard stepped inside and switched on the light. The man didn't seem to realize that the Winter Soldier was standing there and kissing the Black Widow. Either he was too drunk to stumble out of the room again and hide or simply stupid.

"Stop it, comrade!" he ordered and lifted his finger as he stepped closer to both of them and slurred "It's my turn tonight! Get in line, pal!"

Just for a second, Natalia froze before pulling away from James. She stared at the guard and looked at him incredulously. So they were stupid enough to demand the promised favours. "Oh, you shouldn't have..." she whispered.

A light flicked on and his body tensed automatically. "Damn," he cursed as he pulled away from her. His mind kicked to life as he spun to see who had entered. He had never known fear... but he felt something akin to it when he wondered if he'd be turning to face Kudrin.

Instead, with luck, it was a simple guard. He reached behind him to Natalia's bed and knew without thinking that he'd need to kill this man quietly. As if it had simply been Natalia sending a message. It would not look good, but it would be tolerated. Anyone stupid enough to approach the Black Widow would deserve their fate.

The drunk fool stumbled forward to them and he turned to face him.

James froze as a strange, new adrenaline rush locked his body up. His chest grew heavy with it and his hands curled tightly. He turned slowly to face the guard. ...Turn? Line? As if Natalia were nothing more than a... a...

White hot anger, so distant from the cold collective head frame of the Winter Soldier, flashed over James and a savage snarl tore through his chest. Any rational part that knew to stay quiet, to minimize the damage done here being seen, had fled. His fist was forgotten; a strategic, smart kill was overlooked as he leapt over her bed.

His boots landed with a thud and he crossed the room with inhuman speed. The knife from under her pillow was secured tightly in his left fist and as he got to the shocked guard, stumbling to get away from him, he plunged the knife into the meat of his shoulder.

His metal hand wrapped around his mouth to silence the high-pitched scream from the pain. He snarled again, yanking the knife out. It sent a spray of blood across his face, and he roughly threw him to the ground.

James stalked forward as the guard backed away with his feet, clutching his shoulder. He crouched over the man's body and held the dull knife to his throat. His eyes were dark but widened, with the rage still roaring within him. "S-ssoldier!"

"Say it again, 'comrade'," His snarled words dripped with the rage he did not know. The kind he'd only brushed at once. It had been nothing compared to what overcame him now. Whose turn was it, huh? He drug the blade superficially across his neck. The man squirmed, trying to buck away, but he leaned over to keep him in place.

"If I knew you..."

The way he said it only enraged him further. As if anyone deserved to stake a claim on her in such a way. Deserved to come to her chambers and expect that as if he could stand to see someone even suggest such a thing to her. To treat someone like her as if she were nothing more than a tool.

"That was your last mistake," He hissed and dug the blade across his throat, severing the artery. The spray of blood hit him and caused his long hair to stick to his face. It distracted him enough to make him stop himself. He'd almost gone to cut through his neck entirely, but Natalia was not strong enough for that with such a dull knife. It would obviously be his doing with that sort of strength.

He snarled at the dying man and threw the knife down as the guard coughed and gurgled, as the blood drained too quickly and he was gone. He turned around to face Natalia, whose blonde hair caught him off guard, seeing her in the lights. His breathing came in heavy gasps even when he had not exerted himself.

Natalia watched James attack. She knew better than to disturb his rage. Yet this was something completely different. She was about to step forward, but blood was already spraying everywhere. A small sigh left her lips as she watched the scene unfold. This would be a pain to clean up and she was sure that Kudrin would make her clean it in the most time-consuming way possible. So she would need to find a way to store some cleaning supplies around while she was still able to.

Her gaze dropped to the slit throat and she crinkled her mouth. The only thing stopping her from snapping at James was how he looked at her. This wasn't the signal she had wanted to send. This was almost merciful compared to what she had planned. Her death would've been way more painful and time-consuming than a simple slice through one's neck.

Despite his still evident rage, Natalia stepped forward and raised her hand to stroke the blood-drenched hair out of his face. A frown formed on her forehead as she gazed up at him.

"Wash your face and hair before leaving. Throw these clothes away and burn them! No one should be able to link this death to you. Especially not Kudrin!" she spoke seriously and gestured to the small sink in the corner of her room. "Then leave and don't approach me tomorrow. Oh, and something else, James: I don't need a knight in shining armor! So next time let me handle my own business!" The last part left her lips ice cold and she dropped her hand. Her gaze was challenging, not even afraid in the slightest that he might hurt her.

He frowned at her, his heart rate starting to lower to normal levels again. This was a mess; he shouldn't have been here in the first place. Or if he had, he should have thought to check on a lock on a door or babbled and left. This would come back on her in one way or another.

"They won't," He grumbled. Not that having blood on him would raise many flags, but she was correct. He didn't want to track any in the hardened snow either. "But don't give the real reason he was here; Kudrin will be ready to use that against you."

James moved as ordered and cleaned up in the small sink and then washed the sink out thoroughly. His gaze turned to her as she spoke. Tomorrow. Of course not; he'd misheard first and thought perhaps she didn't want him to approach her. That might have been wiser for her to say, but Natalia had not.

He turned to face her as she said something else. He stared at her and found he lacked proper words for it. Perhaps it wasn't. He wasn't sure it had even been a conscious decision. No, he knew it had not been. Anger had fueled that, but maybe it wasn't his business... but Natalia's protection certainly had felt important to him. Perhaps that was something he needed to shake from himself, but it hadn't been there before now, had it? James didn't see himself as the protective type… but if he were, was that so bad?

He didn't say anything, though; instead, he gazed at her briefly with narrowed eyes over her dismissal. James turned and left through the window without further words. He didn't really have any to give.

Natalia glared at him before moving away towards the dead guard. She sighed and looked down at the corpse before rolling her eyes. "Lucky bastard!" she mumbled, thinking about what she would've done with the man. The guard had been lucky that James was to move first. Natalia moved to get a piece of paper and wrote it down using her finger drenched in the man's blood "NEXT TIME" She drew an arrow which pointed downwards. Afterwards, she collected the knife and a rope.

Her facial expression was dark and she didn't even acknowledge James's presence anymore. Instead she considered how it would be easier to get the body out of her room. Eventually, she threw it out of the window and followed suit. She moved through the shadows and mumbled, "Always me disposing of bodies for that idiot." She remembered the time she had to drag the unconscious body of a guard over the grounds. It was shortly after she had almost escaped.

Once at the flagpole, Natalia knotted the rope around the man's neck. But she made sure that the wound was visible. Afterwards, she took the guard's clothes off, making it look like he had attempted to share someone's bed. She placed the piece of paper on the man's chest and rammed the dining knife into the man's torso. It took her a while to secure the blade. Despite James's advice, she ensured people knew why he had died. Disgusting pig of a guard. This would teach those men a lesson to underestimate her or any of these girls. Someone needed to take a stance once and for all.

Eventually, she pulled him up. It took her some time to get him up to a decent height up the flagpole. But eventually, it looked like he had been hung, but if his cut throat and her note would be highlighted as soon as the sun rose. She was stretching her luck that night, but no guard had come her way. These men had become lazy or were waiting for the swine's comments about her abilities in bed.

Natalia sneaked back into her room and started to clean it up. It smelled extremely like all those cleaning supplies. So she kept the window open despite the cold hoping it would make the smell disappear before Kudrin started to look for evidence.

By sunrise, Natalia had cleaned her room and made sure not even the slightest bit of blood was in her room. She even went so far as to dispose of her own clothes. Yet her room still smelled freshly cleaned and it would at least raise an eyebrow. She was still up after the eventful night and couldn't wait for Kudrin to find out. She was more than aware that she was playing with fire, but Natalia was on the girls' side and, for once, trying to protect them. As an excuse for why things were smelling clean, Natalia had made herself throw up in the sink. No one liked the smell of vomit after all. It was a poor excuse, but she was sure Kudrin wouldn't link that to a weak stomach. Natalia had done far worse than slicing someone's neck.

She walked out of her room towards the hospital wing of the Red Room. Natalia needed to pull off successfully that she was sick or Kudrin had something against her. Natalia stopped at the flagpole and saw many working on reports if the girls were still alive and up. Check in was the first thing to do in the morning for the trainees.

People were already running around desperately to get the man down. Natalia had made sure the man would be decapitated by the rope's force if someone attempted to pull him down. This would only make a bigger mess. His flesh had opened even more based on the body's weight and hanging there for some hours now.

While Kudrin stood in the middle, some girls seemed afraid of what was happening. The older girls looked fearful toward Kudrin, hoping they wouldn't be falsely accused of what had happened. In the meantime, the younger girls looked frightened at the body. For most, it wasn't the first time seeing a bloody body but definitely one that had a meaning behind it towards the person they saw as a mother.

Natalia watched the scene unfold quietly. She was pale from continuously making herself throw up. Her throat was sore, but at least it added to a weak appearance. This and the bag under her eyes from the lack of sleep added perfectly to her sick look. She met Kudrin's gaze, not even blinking as the guards finally decided to cut off the rope. The body fell to the ground after the head came off. Most of the girls were painfully quiet.

"Good morning..." Natalia said with a hoarse voice and asked, "What happened here?"

Kudrin turned fully to Natalia and her body language screamed hate as she coldly answered, "It's obvious, isn't it?"

Natalia simply shrugged innocently and looked at the beheaded guard before meeting Kudrin's gaze again "If you excuse me... I'm not feeling very well today."

Natalia turned her back to Kudrin as she spoke quietly "You will regret this, Romanova. Don't overstep your boundaries! This is my facility!"

She ignored the woman's threat and continued her way to the hospital wing. To her surprise, it was relatively easy to convince the doctor that she was sick. Just a finger into her throat while he wasn't looking, and he kept her there for a few days until he was sure that Natalia was fine again. This gave her the perfect excuse not to see James or Kudrin. It was the most accessible cover ever, but it still didn't take Kudrin's suspicion away, but the older woman had nothing against her.

This time he hadn't slept at all, but he rose when he ought to... and instead of breakfast the facility had gathered in the yard where they all did their stamina training. He shaped his face carefully, but he felt anger flush him inwardly.

'Dammit, Natalia.'

She could never take any advice. That - a guard hanging with a sign in blood- was not keeping one's head low. Could it be pinned on her? With Natalia's efficiency no, but dammit Kudrin would know. Natalia knew Kudrin would know, he told her, and now she had essentially engaged in a war with the woman. A war he could have no part in.

"You were right, Luydmila; he seemed very motivated," He said coldly, eyes flashing. "You should not play games with assets of the state."

He said only this and continued past Kudrin to go to the training session with the girls. Luckily enough, this was just slightly less serious, enough to not have to report it to the state. If she weren't graduated, he might have needed to, but in this case, she was and that was not the necessary course of action.

Yes, she'd certainly started a war. She'd better be able to finish it.

Author's Note: This is the first story of a full series around Bucky and Natasha's unseen past in the MCU. Stay tuned!

Leave a kudos or put it in the comments what you think will happen next or what you loved! It'll be great to hear from you! If you enjoyed the story, feel free to treat me to a coffee on KoFi! ko slash fi dot com slash fatedmuses