AN: Slightly edited to be FFN safe. The complete version is on AO3.
Lina's light spell was blinding. Gourry wasn't sure if it was somehow tied to the strange weather phenomenon they had been experiencing or if her sewing project merely demanded it. And something about the way she crouched over the white fabric told him not to ask. So he did what he could to ignore the blinding light as he put the dishes away and looked around the campsite.
For now things were quiet. And while that could change quickly he wasn't going to let the opportunity of a quiet moment pass. He reached into his pack and pulled out his hairbrush and walked over to sit beside Lina. She turned away from him as she started to put her sewing up and he wondered if it was something related to her cycles. While she had been rather bold with exploring his body she was still rather shy with hers. And while he wondered why it still wasn't something that they talked about. Especially as it felt as though such discussions would open the door to talking about how he felt for her.
And every time Gourry tried to think about how to say it he found that the words were lacking. He didn't think that the words existed that could express what he felt. Especially as ever since Mileena's death his mind seemed stuck on what he would have done if Lina had been the one who had died. He didn't think he was capable of the rage that Luke was but that didn't mean that his grief would have been any less. But how could he put it into words? He'd seen people who had loved their partners dearly move on and love someone else after such a loss. But he'd done things with Lina that no other human had accomplished. They'd defeated the Dark Lord Shabranigdu together! She'd fought Hellmaster to save him.
How many women would slay a Demon Lord for him? Even Sylphiel would have balked at casting the Giga Slave. Having someone like Lina in his life, loving someone like her, she was irreplaceable.
Love just didn't seem a strong enough word to express what he felt. So he gently put a hand on her shoulder as he started to brush her hair. He knew that they wouldn't go too far tonight. Given the way that demons were roaming lately it was too much of a risk. But he would still do what he could to show her how he felt.
When they ran into Milgazia and Memphys again Gourry knew that it was inevitable that something big was brewing. So when Lina investigated the matter of her doppelganger and drew her conclusion about what it's appearance meant it was not surprising when she concluded, "The answer is simple. This is an invitation from the demons—to Sairaag City."
Sairaag City. Gourry's stomach sank at the thought. Why did they inevitably end up back there?
"True... That does seem to be the most logical conclusion. But then what's going on in Sairaag?" Milgazia said.
Lina seemed unusually focused on the vegetable platter as she said, "The city's gotta be rife with negative energy after everything it's been through. Maybe the demons find it easy to use."
"That is possible. We're aware that a number of terrible tragedies have befallen the city recently. I've always wondered what the cause could be."
Gourry was fairly sure that Milgazia noted the way that Lina stiffened and wondered if the dragon was trying to get information out of her. And after what happened the last time he'd tried to parade Lina's achievements, Gourry was going to follow Lina's lead as she deflected, "Th-The question remains, what do the demons want?"
"We'll find that out when we get there."
Lina nearly jumped out of her seat as she exclaimed, "Hey, hang on a minute! You make it sound like we're definitely going!"
Gourry had to admit, he was surprised by Lina's reticence. Even if she had been displaying reticence about getting involved in big events more and more. This was something that he put into the category of too big to ignore, but that Lina hadn't…
Was the memories of her previous times in Sairaag traumatic enough to keep her away? Or was she merely getting tired of the life of a warrior? And if the latter were true, would she still want him as a partner if she made a dramatic life change?
Gourry wasn't the only one surprised by Lina's attitude. Milgazia looked at her incredulously as he said, "What?! Don't tell me you don't intend to go, human girl!"
"You bet your butt I don't! This is an obvious trap, with no incentive to walk into it to boot! Why should I go just because they want me to, huh?!"
"Is that so? Can you really be certain that this is wholly unrelated to the incident in the restaurant earlier?" Milgazia shot back as Gourry kept his head down in the hopes of divining more about Lina's thoughts on the matter while Milgazia took the risks of being the questioner.
"Huh?"
"The attack from the demon resembling a dead tree. Perhaps it was mere coincidence that it happened to join us at that restaurant... But the second demon that appeared demonstrated curious behavior as well. It seemed as though it was trying to thwart the dead tree demon. They weren't allies, but they also weren't enemies. If they were, then rather than simply interfering, the red demon would have attacked the dead tree demon. But the red demon certainly wasn't there to protect the people in general either. It was more like it was there to protect him."
Gourry hoped that he masked his surprise well at being dragged into the conversation as he picked the green peppers out of his meal. Milgazia had a good point though, "Yeah, I read no hostility from him at all."
But if there was one lesson he'd learned from Xellos, it was that if a demon was protecting you then there would be an eventual price to pay. And Gourry know that Lina was still haunted by the weight of that cost.
"One demon attacked you. One demon protected you. And now demons are attempting to lure you to Sairaag. Yet you truly believe it's all unconnected?" Milgazia concluded.
Lina was not happy. It was etched on every inch of her face even as she agreed, "W-Well, when you put it that way, I guess not."
"If these two situations are related, then forgoing a visit to Sairaag may incite the demons to attempt a more coercive invitation. Moreover, with this information in mind, Mephy and I will be going to Sairaag ourselves. I suspect there's a connection between this and the recent mass demon spawnings, and while there's no guarantee that we'll learn what we need to know in Sairaag, it's our only lead. Will you go with us, even knowing it's a trap? Or will you part ways with us here and follow your own path? If you choose the latter, be aware that the demons will likely invent a reason to make you go. The simplest route would be to take a hostage, which would put you at a greater disadvantage with no real upside. I think, then, that you'd agree there's only one reasonable choice."
Gourry found himself pushing his plate away as he lost his appetite, and it had nothing t do with the bell peppers. He knew good and well that if they did take a hostage they would go for him, and once more he would put Lina at risk. He'd be a liability. Old fears and insecurities awoke within him as he took a deep breath to steel himself before glancing at Lina, who had gone a little pale as she huffed. "Fine, I'll go. Just get off my back already!"
Gourry had felt tense since dinner. The memory of the mental anguish Hellmaster had extracted for him after he'd abducted him had reawakened, and he yearned for the comfort that Lina could provide even as he feared that doing so would demolish her confidence in him. Not even his evening sparring session with Lina had worked out the tension, especially as they'd develop an intense tunnel vision on their drills, as if aware that if they were returning to Sairaag they would need to be in top shape. Or perhaps scared of what the other would reveal if they talked about it. Old insecurities died hard and no matter how hard he worked on them could be resurrected so easily. The thought of being bait once more, of being a liability to Lina, of not being good enough to be anything but a damsel. Would stuff like this cause her to re-evaluate the benefits of having a relationship with him?
Or worse, would he be the reason that she came to harm? If things had been different with Hellmaster Lina may have died! Sometimes it seemed foolhardy to believe that he could protect her. Especially with the enemies she attracted.
But then Lina knew good and well how difficult what she did was. But if she caught a whiff of his doubts would she look at him differently?
And if she knew how rattled he was at the thought of being tortured by a demon again, would she doubt his bravery?
He unpacked his hairbrush and stared at it. Usually he felt a sense of anticipation when he found it. But tonight he felt wracked with nerves. Somehow despite the financial incentives of having one room when they stayed at an inn they still got two. And when he'd visit to brush her hair he always seemed to accidentally end up staying the night now. Gourry really didn't understand it but he also wasn't sure how to discuss it with Lina. Because while they never discussed where their relationship was going they did talk shop while brushing each other's hair. Sairaag would undoubtably come up, along with their feelings about returning there. And tonight he wondered if he should even go, that perhaps it might be better to stay in his room then to force Lina to confront the memories of what happened in Sairaag or see him as a liability.
But while the fear was there the desire for the comfort and assurance that she could provide if she was understanding warred with it. And it was also as Milgazia had said. Giving into his doubts wouldn't help him build any sort of future with Lina. If he could be brave in the battlefield then he could be brave with Lina.
He took a deep breath to steel himself and got up and left his room. Hers was right next door and he knocked quietly. "It's unlocked." She replied.
He locked it behind him but before he could get further he was surprised as she came up and pressed herself against him, placing her head so her ear was over his heart. His eyes widened as he raised his arms to wrap her in an embrace and then he hesitated. He quickly chastised himself as he continued to envelope her in an embrace as he relaxed a bit as the worry receded and he took a moment to gain comfort from her. "Not that I mind, but are you okay?"
"I'm fine." She said as she moved her arms around his waist. "Just glad you're here."
He closed his eyes in relief, "Did what the golden lizard say at dinner…"
"We're going to Sairaag so it won't come to that." She said sharply.
"And whatever it is we'll take care of it," he said as he put his hand beneath her chin and lifted her face up a bit, but his stomach twisted a bit at the worry in her eyes. The desire to see her happy and carefree rose but then, given the circumstances, how could he really expect it from her?
He wanted her to be happy again. He wanted to be what she needed to get through this. But he couldn't figure out how to get there. A piece of the bridge to where he wanted to go was missing and he couldn't figure out where it was.
"Yeah, we always do." She said heavily even as she grabbed his hand and walked to the bed. He sat down beside her as she took the brush from him and started to run it through his hair as he started to wonder how he could get her to laugh.
"Though we may want to leave Mephy out of it." He said before he could think better of it.
"Why?" Lina asked.
"Well with the way she is she'd probably destroy Sairaag again while trying to save it."
For a moment he feared that she would find it in poor taste as Lina stopped brushing his hair. But then she chortled, "I shouldn't laugh but…"
And then she collapsed back onto bed as she devolved into a fit of giggles, and Gourry smiled as he turned and stretched on his side beside her as her pajama top, held together by two buttons, fell open above her pants, revealing the top of a jagged scar.
He stared at it for a moment as something seized within him that he didn't understand as Lina's laughter died down as she looked up at him and followed the direction of his gaze, and then she gasped as she turned around on her stomach as the room grew colder as she looked at the wall.
"Hey…" he said as he reached a hand out.
"Don't." she said warningly.
"That time, in the cave with Lantz and Eris…" he said as the sense of failure rose within him as he figured out when she'd gotten the scar.
"I'm surprised you remembered that." She said gruffly.
"I never should have left with Sylphiel. Even at the time I knew it." He said as he wondered if that was why she was mad.
"Well it's not as though I was ever a beauty in the first place." She said.
Gourry shook his head, "What?"
"If you'd been there then I wouldn't have this hideous scar." Lina said, "You haven't even seen the worst of it."
"If I'd been there then you wouldn't have been hurt, you wouldn't have come so close to death! I don't care about how it looks." He said. "I care about the fact that I'd done a bad job as your guardian that day."
"You don't care how it looks." Lina mumbled. "Wasn't a big loss, was it?"
"What's with you?" he asked, annoyed at how he was spilling his heart out and receiving venom in return.
"You couldn't even agree that my doppelganger was beautiful!" she snapped as she indicated her body. "And you've not even seen the worst of it."
Gourry froze for a moment as his mind struggled to grasp that Lina wasn't mad at him for being a poor guardian or for failing her. Slowly it sank through as Lina rose on her side, "Well say something!"
A part of him wanted to shout that she was leaving him hanging as well, but he also realized it would pour oil on the flames. He managed to put a hand on her knee that he hoped was comforting as he tried to gather his thoughts but all that came out was, "I think you're cute."
No, she was not so easily placated as she yelled, "You don't act like it!"
Gourry's stomach sank as the reason she was more shy with her body became more apparent, "You know how it is around mercenaries, always cutting up with each other. I guess, I mean, we were partners first so that's how people in our line of work talk to each other."
"So you're saying you saw me as a man…"
"No! I was very aware that you were a woman, a cute young woman at that, and back when we met you didn't seem ready for all of this. So I had to work four times as hard to keep control of myself. I mean, I thought you wanted to keep it professional so…"
She turned to look at him through narrow eyes, "Four times?"
"I may have underestimated a little." He said, "Eight times, even ten."
She looked at him for a moment before she smiled, "Lucky for me you're a horrible liar. I wouldn't believe another man spinning that yarn."
"Do you believe me enough to let me see more?" he said and then he regretted it as her eyes grew big with fear.
But then she asked softly, "You mean you want to see more?"
"I mean I did ask back in Halciform's mansion, and I really don't want to be on the receiving end of a Fireball so I've been scared to ask again, or let you know…or just say something to let me know how much trouble I'm in."
"Oh, more than you can fathom!" She said deviously as she flipped over to her back and reached for the remaining buttons and then stopped as she took a deep breath, "I just gotta get this over with."
"Well I have been waiting a long time to strip and cuddle." He said with a cloying smile.
She smiled a little and then she undid the buttons as he watched entranced as she shed her shirt and then put her hands under the waistband of her pants and pulled them down and wiggled out of them.
Later, as they cuddled together in the dark, he knew good and well that he'd had an exhilarating time even if they still hadn't gone all the way yet. But he'd gotten to know her body a lot better and by now she was good at bringing him to the peak of pleasure. Only he was worried he'd not done the same for her, even if she had seemed satisfied when they'd stopped for the night. Just as she seemed unconcerned with whether or not he was a good enough guardian. Did that mean that he was doing a good job by her, or that she didn't want to confront him with his failures to spare his pride for some reason?
Or should he just be happy that she was still here, traveling with him, inviting him into her bed even? He closed his eyes and chased the heady drowsiness. He would just have to trust that if she was doing this with him then that meant that she was satisfied with him.
The barren featureless plain he'd abruptly found himself in was worse than anything he'd seen, even in the Elemekian Empire! And if it looked worse than that, then just how much more wretched could this place be?
"What?!" Gourry cried as he stared around him in disbelief as the certainty that they were in grave danger rose within him, "What is all this?! There's no place like this, even in Elemekia!"
Lina was silent as she chanted. He was momentarily comforted by a small measure. If she was chanting then she had something up her sleeve! But then a dove appeared. A dove? What was the dove supposed to do? Sure enough it flew away, and anger fueled the resurgence of his panic, "What are you doing, Lina?! This is no time to be summoning doves! Struggle! Panic! Where the heck are we?!"
"Calm down, Gourry. We're in another dimension."
"Another dimension?! Where?!"
"Uh, well, it's..."
Before Lina could finished a new person said, "You're still in Sairaag,"
Gourry was stunned that he hadn't heard him approach! He turned around and saw a strange being approach him, one he wasn't sure was human or demon. Or was it because he was death, cloaked in a red cape? The mask was strange. The only features on it were two ruby eyes and…it felt significant, and in a bad way.
And as the man continued to talk Gourry grew numb with disbelief as he was confronted with a truth that Gourry did not want to accept, that he was Ruby Eyed Shabranigdu reborn and that he wanted them to fight him. Denial wouldn't help him. And as soon as the fight had begun it was easy to relinquish it as it drew Gourry into his warrior mindset as he tried to find the patterns in Shabranigdu's attack style, but something quickly troubled Gourry. Namely that Shabranigdu's pattern wasn't new but alarmingly familiar. But he didn't want to believe it! Surely he was mistaken…
But when he used the Dark Mist spell there was no questioning anymore. Somehow it was Luke. Running away from unpleasant truths wouldn't help them.
But would Luke deny it if he threw the truth in his face? A plan formed in his mind and he approached Lina as he kept eyes on Shabranigdu as he said, "Lina! I want to get in close to him!"
"Got it! Dug Haute!"
The earth responded to Lina's spell and swelled up like an ocean wave, and he rode it as he continued to focus on the mask and leapt, calling, "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"
Shabranigdu, Luke hesitated, and Gourry's sword hit its mark, slicing through the mask, which Luke grabbed to hold onto his face. Was Luke recoiling in shame? Good! "I asked you what the hell you think you're doing!"
Luke was frozen, and Gourry wasn't sure if he was trying to get him to doubt his conclusion. It made him even angrier! "You can't change the way you fight that easily. Your swordplay is just the same as it was, not to mention the way you use darkness as a distraction and wreath your weapon in wind!"
Luke slumped forward in exhaustion and when he spoke he sounded like Luke and not like Shabranigdu, "Figured it out, huh? Thought maybe I'd gotten away with it. An' I sure didn't think you would be the one to see through me..."
Luke's mask fell as Lina gasped in shock, "L... Luke?"
"Hey there. Gotta say, that stuffy old thing was makin' it kinda hard to move right," Luke said as his hood and cloak vanished and was replaced with his more typical armor. But his hair…his black hair was now red.
"Oh... this? Yeah, I'm a natural redhead. I dyed it, since... y'know. She said she didn't like red hair. But sheesh... You got me good, huh? I figured you might. You got good instincts an' all. In fact, you saw through it so quick, it's kinda makin' the whole thing awkward."
You underestimate me at your own cost, Gourry thought as Lina struggled to find her bearings, and you wouldn't be the first one.
As Lina struggled to comprehend this turn of events Gourry found that the memory of Gunther was coming on strong. Why? Why would he need to remember that right now with all of this going on? But then he listened as Luke explained about finding another being within himself, about how he and Shabranigdu both desired the destruction of the world because no matter what he did the hatred never abated, and suddenly it made sense in a horrible way as Gourry understood more than he would have liked to.
Like Luke he knew grief. He'd lost his entire family. And he'd spent years wandering after he left Elemekia. He'd shut people out of his life for so long as he lived in misery as the pain never abated. But at some point it became impossible to continue living that way. Still, the sheer amount of fear it took to love someone again took years and a form of bravery that people never talked about for him to work through. Luke was right that time alone didn't heal wounds. Time, purpose and taking the risk of loving again did. And the knowledge that even then he risked unleashing that pain again in a moment if he ever lost Lina was never far from his mind.
He knew so many people who couldn't overcome their fears of being hurt to truly let another person close. Gunther couldn't do it. Neither could his parents. Thank goodness he'd had his grandmother and Master Janawes to show him it was possible. But Luke…Luke hadn't even been able to truly let Mileena get close, had he? Not with the way he continued to drive her away in his pursuits of her.
By filling his life with purpose and by letting Lina get close to him Gourry had given himself better things to focus on than the pain. It took years to do it. And the risk that it could unravel was always present. But as he listened to Luke speak in this strange battlefield so reminiscent of the cursed place he'd grown up in, it was painfully obvious that Luke was not willing to give this the time nor take the risk that he needed to in order to heal.
It had taken years for Gourry to accept that Gunther and his parents were beyond saving. But as he listened to Luke, it took him minutes to accept it. But beside him Gourry worried that he was losing Lina as she whispered incomprehensibly as her eyes grew watery. Still, the certainty that no matter what he did the outcome was likely going to be the same permeated his being. He'd had to accept this with his father. He'd had to accept this with his mother and his brother. And once he had tormented himself with what he could have done differently until he realized that he had done what he could to show them another way. They chose to ignore it.
Perhaps if he told Luke the truth it would end this. Or perhaps it wouldn't. Either way, it was Luke's choice. It wasn't up to him to force Luke to chose humanity. And by letting go, a sense of calmness shot through him.
"Luke, what happened that day. A demon was behind it. Did you know that?"
"Yeah. Thinkin' back now, I'm bettin' that Zord guy only got messed up in the head when he fused with a demon too. But even knowin' that... Or maybe because I know it, I resent it all the more. I resent humanity for thinkin' up the whole crazy-ass demon fusion thing."
Luke kept talking as Gourry realized he had done what he could. If this wasn't going to dissuade him, nothing would. Now it was up to him and Lina to stop him.
"I blame humans. I blame demons. I blame this world where they coexist. I'm thinkin' if I can liberate my other self up north, together we can grind the world into dust. Demons crave destruction. After destroyin' everything else, we'll destroy ourselves, and soon, it'll be nothin' but chaos. That'll be my revenge against this world."
"But this is the world that allowed you to meet Mileena, isn't it?" Lina pointed out, and Gourry realized that she was far from the place of acceptance that he was.
Gourry struggled with a minute over whether or not to step in. Arguing with Luke was fruitless, but Lina was not ready to give up yet, and something told him that she needed to see, that she needed to get to the point where she understood it like he did. But all that happened was that Luke got tired of explaining.
"Now, you guys ready to get started?"
"Luke..." Lina said, and tears were falling down her face now. Gourry's stomach seized. He hated seeing her distressed like this, and he hated seeing the sorrow in Luke's eyes. But if there was anyway of avoiding a fight it would have to be because Luke cared more about the pain he would cause them then he did about his own pain. And that wasn't happening. There was nothing more to be gained by this tactic and Lina couldn't see it yet.
"But..." Lina protested.
"This is how it's gotta be. It's the only way to stop these feelings." Luke shot back, clearly getting inpatient.
"Fine, I'll play along." Gourry said.
"Gourry?!" Lina shouted as she rounded on him, "Hang on! Don't you realize what's going on here?!"
He did. One way or another, this needed to end. And he needed to do it. And much as he wanted Lina to stand beside him, he also knew that this would have to be her choice. But unlike with Luke, he was fairly sure that he could motivate her.
"I do. And I wouldn't play along if it was predestined or the Dark Lord's will either. But... this is the choice Luke made for himself, right? So I don't think he'll back down, no matter what we say. He knows his mind better than anyone, and he's the only one who can change it. Which means we've got two options: Do we play along, or don't we? It's gotta be one or the other. And since Luke is the one asking, I figure... why not play along? Obviously, I don't want to fight him. But if I say I'm not gonna do it and he can go on his way... I feel like we'd be the ones leaving things up to fate and other people."
Lina opened her mouth to protest, but it died down, and he was grateful that his words seemed to be reaching her at least. And perhaps it was selfish of him, because while he would do what he could to be the one to take Luke down so Lina wouldn't have to carry the burden of that, if he was honest with himself Lina had a better chance of defeating Luke than he did. So he had to twist her arm a bit, "Besides, even if he does send us back, until the demons attack us or someone else does something to stop him, we'd be worried about this until the day we died. I'm not living like that. Plus, I'm also your guardian, so I can't leave your safety down to luck. So... while I still have the chance to do something about this, I'm gonna. If you can't take it, Lina, you can stay out of it. I'm going to do this, even if I have to do it alone."
"That's not fair, Gourry. When you put it like that, I can't just say, 'Okay, go for it. Good luck. It's none of my business, so do whatever you want.'" Lina said, and Gourry started to feel the comfort of knowing he wouldn't do this alone. He would try to bear the brunt of this, so Lina wouldn't have to carry it. Perhaps with his new sword he might be successful. And while he would have done it alone, he didn't want to. Lina looked at Luke, "Okay. I'll play along with your selfish little game."
"Sorry," Luke said, over and over again. But his apologies seemed empty. It wasn't enough for him to take this burden off them. But then, he had Shabranigdu within him. What if summoning them for help was the only way he could stop something so powerful?
The only way to stop Shabranigdu was to kill their friend. Gourry could be at peace knowing that.
The fight that he hadn't wanted had begun. Gourry cut through the shadow spell easily, but Luke targeted him hard with decoys that exploded, knocking his balance off. Soon it was all he could do to keep steady as Lina chanted a spell, and the next thing he knew pain surged through him. As he lost consciousness he heard Lina scream his name.
By the time he'd managed to regain consciousness Lina was leaning over him in the middle of a street. He hissed in pain and struggled to stay awake as he tried to focus on where they were and whether or not they were safe.
"Good! You're awake." Lina said.
"Do you need help, Miss?" someone asked, and thus assured that they were no longer in the awful world that Luke had pulled them into Gourry didn't fight it as his grip on consciousness faltered once more.
When he opened his eyes again he was in bed, likely at an inn someone place, and beside him Lina was chanting. His eyes focused on her, on the tears tracks on her dirty face, on how she was focusing on her spell with such intensity, almost as if she was scared she would fall apart if she weren't, and he knew. Luke was bound and determined to die after all. And he'd not been able to save her from being the one to land the killing blow. Would she be blame him for it? He watched silently until she stopped chanting, "How are you feeling?" she asked, her voice thick and soft.
"Fine." He said as he watched her carefully, "How are you?"
She closed her eyes as a look of shame clouded her features, but then she leaned forward and gave him a quick peck on the lips, "Sleep. Your burns were nothing I couldn't handle but you'd better not overdo it."
And it was hard to stay awake! It always was after a long recovery spell, something about the way it drained your life force. But before he drifted off he tried to offer her some comfort, "There was no other way. I won't let anyone criticize you for this."
She buried her face in her hands as he fell back asleep once more. When he next woke the morning sun's rays were starting to stream through the window. They had lived to see a new day, one that Luke never would. Gourry sat up in bed and saw Lina asleep in the chair beside his bed. Was she there because she was mad that he'd forced this on her? Or because she was filled with guilt? Or perhaps worried that he would overexert himself if he woke up and found her in bed beside him?
It wasn't long before she stirred as her eyes fluttered open and landed on him, "How are you doing?" she asked, her voice rough, as though she needed some water.
"Good as new. Thanks to you." He said, and then he grabbed her hand. "How did you do it?"
She stared at the floor as she recited what happened in a detached, lifeless voice. There was no pride. Just a dry recitation of the facts as she detailed how she'd defeated Shabranigdu a second time as she stared at the ground as though terrified of being judged. And he hated to see her like this! He hated that even trying to make her laugh didn't feel right. Lina had some damn good reasons for feeling sad right now. This wasn't just something to laugh away.
But if he couldn't have killed Luke for her, and now if he couldn't even get her to laugh to distract her, what could he do for her? How could he make this better? What use was he to her?
Someone knocked at the door, followed by Milgazia's voice proclaiming, "It is I."
"Oh?" Gourry said as he tried to sit up and was surprised as Lina put her hands on his chest and held him down.
"It's open," she said, and Milgazia and Mephy wasted no time in entering.
Mephy wasted no time in demanding to know, "Excuse me! How could you just disappear like…Wait, are you injured?!"
Lina did not even turn to look at them as she explained, "He's all patched up now. He's just on bed rest to be safe."
Milgazia seemed to be more mindful than Mephy as he asked, "What happened?"
"We... defeated the Dark Lord." Lina said as though she was making a distasteful announcement. "That's all."
Their astonished reactions were expected, but Gourry could see the way it was hurting Lina as Milgazia asked, "Truly?"
"Why would I lie?" she said as Gourry realized that it was taking everything she had to hold it together.
"If it's true that's incredible. You two really are the demon slayers!" Mephy said, and Gourry wondered just how twisted it was that the circumstances were such that there was little pride in this accomplishment.
Lina snapped, "You think I want a stupid title like that?"
"We'll take a room at this inn as well." Milgazia said quickly, "Once things calm down, I'd like to hear the whole story. Let's go, Mephy."
"Ah... right."
Tears started to flow from Lina's eyes as they left, and he waited until he was sure they were out of earshot before saying, "Lina, are you crying?"
"I think it's perfectly obvious that I'm not."
After everything, she still had to fight him. "Actually, it's perfectly obvious that you are." He pressed.
"I think you need your eyes checked...Sorry. Yeah, I'm crying."
"Just lashing out, huh?"
"It only just hit me. We never learned Luke and Mileena's full names... And the thought of that just made me... suddenly..."
"Hey, it's okay to cry." Gourry said as he placed a hand on her cheek as he realized what it was she needed. Lina didn't need someone she could be happy with all the time. It wasn't going to happen. She also didn't need someone who cleared all of the obstacles from her path. They would be there regardless of who was in her life. Because life wasn't nice and tidy like that. She needed someone who would give her the space she needed to feel all of the other emotions that she needed to feel. And right now what she needed was a shoulder to cry on. Didn't they all need that at times? "Even if it was what Luke wanted, it doesn't change the fact that we killed him. But, no matter how heavy the burdens we carry, being human means we have to keep moving forward. Rubia's working on that right now. Luke couldn't beat it. But Lina, knowing you, I think that you can. And to make sure you can, for now, it's okay. It's okay to cry."
"Stupid..." she said, but it didn't sound like an insult. He reached for her as she fell onto the bed beside him and rested her head on his shoulder as the tears flowed as he held her and cried with her.
"Please don't take Lina too personally." Gourry said to Milgazia when he tracked him down after Lina had left to take a bath.
"I know in battle sometimes we have to face choices we'd rather not." Milgazia said, "Did she use another spell calling upon that thing's power?"
Gourry ran a hand through his hair, "Worse, from her point of view. It was Luke."
"Excuse me?"
"Luke, he had a part of Shabranidu in his soul. I don't think we told you, but a few months back Mileena was targeted by assassins and killed. Luke went off into a rage the likes of which…" Gourry took a deep breath and exhaled it, "It was a complete bloodbath, despite our efforts to stop him. He disappeared. Until yesterday when he came back, merged with Shabranigdu, and he forced us to fight him."
"And she had to kill him." Milgazia said.
"It was Luke's choice." Gourry said quickly, hoping that Milgazia wouldn't be harsh towards Lina, "It was what Luke wanted."
"Even then, it makes for a heavy load to carry. Sometimes it is hard to do the right thing. It is no wonder that she is conflicted." Milgazia said. "We all did our part though. I was heavy handed with forcing her to return to Sairaag."
"What other option was there?" Gourry said, "Luke was determined that it be us."
"And with someone that determined, what else is there to do?" Milgazia said with a sigh, "The weight of saving the world can be cruel at times. There is still work to be done. I had thought of offering more money in return for your assistance but perhaps it would be better if she had some time to recover after this."
"Where can we do that? She's a demon magnet!" Gourry said even as one possibility presented itself. One that both intrigued and intimidated him.
"Does she not have a home and a family she can rest with?" Milgazia asked, "Or are there no places sacred to the two of you?"
"I guess I'll be finding out."
The days passed in a blur of grief. Gourry returned to Lina and let her know that Milgazia understood that they had done what needed to be done, and from then on out she seemed to take comfort from Milgazia and Mephy's presence. She'd even filled in the details of what he'd missed with Milgazia.
When they parted ways a few days later Lina seemed a bit adrift. Almost as if she craved the company of familiar people, of friends, "They left, just like that."
"I think they're relieved." He commented.
"Relieved?"
"Yeah." He said as he put a hand on her head. "That you're feeling better. They're relieved enough that they can go take care of other business now."
"Did I really seem that depressed?"
"A little, I think. Well, then... What do we do next?" he asked, hoping that she would suggest going home. Once, ages ago, she'd floated around the possibility. But that was years ago.
"Good question. We don't really have another obvious objective. Actually, how about you decide for yourself for once instead of leaving it to me, Gourry?! Go ahead! Have an opinion!"
Something shot through him. Fear. But then she was giving him a gift wrapped opportunity to suggest it. He was not going to let it go to waste. "Hmm, okay. Let's see... How about taking me to meet your family?"
"Uh? Er, Gourry!" She said with a blush. It was strange. Something about how they'd become physical without talking about it, how even though they'd not gone all the way things were still physical enough that it was undeniable that there was something between them but the anxiety of what was unsaid still present so that they couldn't know for sure. It almost felt as though they both risked being confronted with how much they'd misunderstood the intentions of the other. Was she panicked because she wanted him to propose and was scared that she'd misunderstood? Or was she panicked because she was just blowing off steam with him and didn't want him to take it too seriously? "Do you even understand the implications of what you just asked?"
"Yeah, I do."
"Huh...?"
He chickened out. "You said once that Zephilia's famous for its grapes, right? I think they're in season right now."
"You just want food?!" She was disappointed, not relieved. That had to mean something good! Still, he'd gone too far to change tracks now.
"What, you don't like grapes?"
"It's not that! I just...Fine! Whatever!"
Still, he was not giving up on meeting her family. When they got there, then they would talk about it. He had a feeling it would be impossible to avoid then! "Zephilia it is, then."
AN: Just the Epilogue left to go, and I think I can get that out quickly. I will be glad to get this wrapped up, as it was rather intensive with working around the novel dialogue and trying to figure out how to condense a light novel into a chapter. Which is another reason I think I can get the epilogue out fast, I won't have to bother with all that, lol!
Happy Thanksgiving to those of you who celebrate. And I hope that regardless of where you live you have plenty of things in your life to be grateful for and time to reflect on it.