CHAPTER 59

"Wow. You've had a busy week."

Miguel was sitting in Vanessa Larusso's living room for his weekly appointment, and he had just finished recounting to her everything that had happened to him. She was right. Busy didn't even begin to cover it. He felt like he had lived a whole lifetime in this one week. It had all started with that extraordinarily chaotic family dinner, followed by him joining Cobra Kai, going to the party, his fight there with Robby, and then last night with his second confrontation at Golf-n-stuff, along with everything else that had happened to him. It felt like 100 days, not 7.

"Yeah, so, um… that all happened." Miguel finished, shifting in his seat nervously. He still wasn't 100% comfortable with talking to Vanessa about all this. It wasn't that he didn't trust her anymore. Now, after the events of the past week, he figured that she'd just make like the other Larussos and paint him as evil for joining Cobra Kai. She wouldn't be reasonable like Amanda.

Vanessa nodded and took a deep breath, taking in everything that Miguel had told her.

"Right. Well… where to start?" She commented.

"I'm guessing it's going to be about me joining Cobra Kai." Miguel remarked. Vanessa looked at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Um… not really. Why? Do you want to talk about that?" She asked. Miguel shook his head and looked at her, taken aback.

"Not at all. I just figured that you'd be trying to convince me to…"

"From what you've told me, your decision to join Cobra Kai was perfectly valid." Vanessa remarked, interrupting him. "You're looking at your future and what gives you the best shot at having a good one. It's a responsible choice, and if others can't accept that… well that's just on them, isn't it?"

"So you want me to stay in Cobra Kai?" Miguel asked, confused. From all of the people he had been confronted by about joining Cobra Kai, he had never gotten this reaction before, and expected it the least to be coming from a Larusso. Vanessa sighed.

"Look, Miguel, my job isn't to tell you what to do." She said. "My job is to help you process your emotions so when you do make decisions, you make them with a clear mind and aren't blinded by emotion."

"Right." Miguel mumbled, looking down and playing with his hands, fidgeting.

"But for that reason, I do want to talk about what happened last night. You say you had a panic attack. Walk me through what happened."

Miguel shook his head.

"I pretty much summed it up earlier." Miguel murmured. "I was fighting Robby and Hawk. And then all of a sudden, I saw my dad in me and I froze. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I sure as hell couldn't fight. I was immobile. Helpless. Just like I was back when my father fought me in Juarez. Hawk and Robby could've killed me and there wouldn't have been a damn thing I could've done to stop them."

Vanessa once again was silent as she listened to Miguel. That was about 90% of her job seemingly. Just quietly listening, and occasionally jotting things down in her notepad.

"Yeah, so I need you to fix me." Miguel remarked. Vanessa looked at him, confused.

"Excuse me?" Vanessa asked.

"You know, I got a small stutter in the engine. Tune me up so it happens again." Miguel stated. Vanessa sighed.

"Miguel, it isn't that easy. I can't just press a button to make your problems go away. If it were that easy, I wouldn't have a job. All I can do is simply give you advice that you can choose whether or not to take."

"Right, then what's the advice you have for me here?" Miguel asked. Vanessa took a deep breath, thinking about it for a while before answering.

"Well I could tell you to stop, close your eyes, take deep breaths, all of that, like I'd tell everyone else." Vanessa said. "But I think there's something in your case that would prove more effective."

"What is it?" Miguel asked, eagerly. Vanessa looked him in the eye.

"Don't put yourself in these situations that make you so viable for a panic attack." She replied. Miguel sighed, knowing what was coming.

"Here it comes. Let me guess… you're going to tell me to quit Cobra Kai?" Miguel said. Vanessa shook her head.

"Again, my job isn't to tell you to do anything. My job is to help you understand your emotions so you can make whatever choice yourself." Vanessa reminded him. "Look, I know that you're doing all of this for the money. For your future. I respect that. But if things continue as toxic as they have been so far, are you going to make it that long?"

"I'm stronger and fitter than I ever have been before. Better fighter too. I'll be fine." Miguel replied cooly. Vanessa shook her head.

"That's not what I meant, Miguel." She replied. "I'm not talking about physical scars. I'm talking about mental ones. You know, men who go to war for 6 months come back with mental trauma that takes years to unravel. In comparison, you've been fighting this war for four times that amount of time."

Miguel nodded and shrugged.

"Sure, but that's hardly the same thing." Miguel remarked.

"You're right. They aren't identical situations. But the basis of the issues are the same. Every day, you sleep and wake up with the stress of knowing that you could get into a potentially deadly fight. You're scared for your safety. Scared for the safety of the ones you care about. Every time you have to turn a corner, scared of an awaiting ambush. That all gets to you, Miguel."

Miguel stared at her, his eyes wracked with pain.

"But as proven several times before, it's near impossible for you to quit." Vanessa continued. "This war. It's like a drug, the way it sucks you in like a vortex and then spits you out a broken man. It's never going to stop doing that, Miguel. It's a never-ending cycle. You know why?"

"No, why?" Miguel asked.

"Because like a drug, all this fighting, all this rivalry… you enjoy it, don't you?"

Miguel stared at her, taken aback.

"You think I enjoy this? You think I enjoyed being in a wheelchair? Not being able to do anything for myself for months as I recovered?" Miguel snapped. Vanessa shook her head.

"No, but I think, and please correct me if I'm wrong, that every night you were in that wheelchair, you went to bed dreaming about returning to the fight. It motivated you to get out of bed. To put in that extra 10% in physical rehab. This is so commonly seen in soldiers. That they come to feel more at home in a warzone than they do back home. And what eventually happens is that when they can't get back to the battlefield, they bring the battle to them in different, darker ways. Substance abuse. Domestic abuse."

"So what? You think I'm one of them? I'm mentally insane? Some psychopath who gets off on violence?" Miguel snapped, offended by the accusations being thrown his way. "Because I know someone like that and I can tell you that in comparison, I'm not crazy at all!"

Vanessa nodded, not at all fazed by Miguel's outburst. She was still perfectly calm.

"Well I don't believe in the word crazy, but no, I don't think you're 'crazy'." She said. "I think you're just a teenager who's been put through hardships most people can't even imagine, let alone at such a young age. You've been to hell and back, gotten up from situations nobody could've predicted you would. But in the process, you've picked up scars. Both physical and mental. You're just a guy with a lot of demons. And I can help you learn to control them if you give me time. But you stay in this karate war, you're only going to further and further into the deep end. I mean it's starting already. Look, I know that you didn't start either of your fights with Robby but you nearly killed him in both. Eventually, you're going to hit the point where you fully succumb to the demons and who knows what damage you could do then?"

While Vanessa said all of this in a very calm, kind manner, Miguel didn't receive it very well at all. Vanessa was talking to him like he was some kind of unhinged lunatic. Like he was the actual Joker. Demons coming out to play? The fuck was that bullshit? Was he going through a tough time right now? Yes. But that didn't mean he was becoming some kind of loose cannon, did it? When he had fought in the past few days, that had all been self defense. Sure he might have lost his cool slightly at the dirty, underhanded tricks Robby had thrown at him, but the fact of the matter was a threat came at him and he defended it. End of story, right? None of this villain talk.

"You know what? You're wrong… and I don't need this right now." Miguel spat, rising quickly from the sofa. "Have a nice day, doctor."

"Look, Miguel, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you." Vanessa tried to say, but it was too late. Miguel was already on his feet and walking out of the door. Once he was gone, Vanessa sat back and sighed. She knew she'd be seeing Miguel again soon. If nothing else, she had at least planted the thoughts in his head so even if he didn't listen now, he might eventually realise that she was right. And maybe then he would trust her more, and in turn, would truly begin to be able to get better…

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Meanwhile, Miguel left Vanessa's house in a huff. She was wrong about him. She had to be. He wasn't some demon-controlled psychopath like the Joker. Like the Green Goblin. He was just a kid who was trying to make the best of a really shitty situation. Miguel didn't go home now. He had training starting soon anyways, so he decided to go straight to the dojo. He had brought his backpack with him, so he took off on his bike in the direction of the dojo in Reseda. He arrived shortly after and walked inside, greeted for the second time by a flurry of activity, movement and voices. The beginner students weren't there as they didn't have training today, but there were still 12 advanced students all there ready for class, 13 in fact as there was a certain unfamiliar gentleman in the corner of the room. Miguel just hadn't seen him yet.

As Miguel walked inside and stepped onto the mat, Silver immediately noticed Miguel's bruised face and his eyes widened slightly.

"What happened to you?" Silver asked, slightly concerned, as Miguel walked over to him. Miguel shrugged, not wanting to make it into a big thing. This was between him, Robby and Hawk. Not between Cobra Kai, Eagle-Fang and Miyagi-Do. He didn't need this escalating into a whole dojo war.

"Nothing much. Just had a run with Robby and Hawk last night. The bruises are just a parting gift from them." Miguel replied.

"Do you need some support against them?" Silver asked, and in that question, Miguel knew what Silver was truly asking. Did he want to sic the army of Cobra Kai on them in revenge like a pack of wild dogs?

Miguel shook his head.

"I'll handle it myself." was all Miguel replied, enough confidence in his voice that Silver didn't question it further and instead let it be. In addition, Silver didn't have time to ask any follow up questions as at that moment, Barnes walked into the dojo and class began.

"Alright, everyone listen up!" Silver called, the class all snapping to attention at the sound of his voice. "Hope you all aren't feeling too sore after training yesterday. First order of business today… we have a new student."

Miguel looked around the room and eventually locked onto the new figure. He didn't know how he hadn't spotted the guy earlier. He was African-American, much taller than Miguel and also a lot more muscle too. He looked somehow familiar, but Miguel couldn't place exactly how.

"Class, I'd like to introduce you all to Cobra Kai's newest student, Shawn Payne."

Payne. Payne. Oh…..

Eventually Miguel caught on. So this was Kenny's infamous brother…