Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "Come Down To Me" is by Saving Jane and I do not own it in any way.
Thrill of a Whisper
Chapter Three: Come Down To Me
I'm just dreaming out loud
I can't have you for mine and I know it
I just wanna watch you shine
Oh, bloody hell.
This was direct violation of clause one of the contract James and I had agreed upon. I stole a glance at James and noticed that his mind was mulling over the same thing. Then again, not complying with Nat would, in turn, break rule number five.
The choices, the choices. What I really wanted to do was throttle Nat, but I figured that wouldn't go over entirely too well.
Realizing just how long the two of us had been standing in stunned silence, I scoffed, rolled my eyes, and sat down in a huff.
"You know, Nat, just because you and Sirius see fit to swap spit in front of everyone doesn't mean James and I have to."
"Yeah," James replied lamely, sitting next to me and, after a moment's hesitation, put his arm around my shoulders.
"Oh, come on," Nat egged us on, her eyes full of mischief.
"Yeah, Prongs, don't be such a yawn," Sirius smirked, folding his arms over his chest as Remus sat next to him, making me feel as though James and I were some sort of entertainment.
"Bloody - fine!" I shot Nat an angry look.
I turned quickly to James, who was giving me a surprised look. In my head, I was hexing the living brains out of him for getting me into this, but I put a hand on his cheek nonetheless and brought my lips to his for a tender kiss. When I pulled away, James's eyes were still wide in surprise. Acting was not this boy's strong point.
"Happy?" I asked, my eyes narrowing as I turned back in my seat.
"Good enough for me," Sirius shrugged. "Moony, play me at Exploding Snap?"
I pushed myself against the far wall of the compartment, pulling my knees up to my chest so I could lean my chin against the top of them. As I listened to Sirius and Remus organize their game and Peter coming into the compartment, I could feel Nat's unfaltering gaze on me. It made me quite uncomfortable, but there was little I could do without making it obvious that James and I were plunging headfirst into a lie.
I turned to look at James, who turned to face me at the same time. My pale green eyes met his hazel ones and I felt something shift in my stomach. Nat was right - I had been writing about James in my diary since third year, but I had never been gutsy enough to act on my feelings. I had always been "just another one of the guys" when it came to James and I took what I could get.
James's eyes turned questioning, wanting to know if I was all right, leaving me to smile and nod.
"You already have a silent language?" Nat asked in amazement. "How positively vomit inducing."
"What are you talking about?" Peter asked through a mouthful of Cauldron Cake.
I heaved a sigh as Nat launched into the story that her stepbrother had missed and turned back to the window. As a comforting gesture, James reached over and wrapped his right arm around my left leg and I took hold of his hand.
Yeah, it was fake. Nevertheless, that didn't mean I couldn't relish in the moment, right?
"Allie?"
"Hi, Remus," I greeted listlessly, not looking up from my gaze at the fireplace.
"Are you all right?"
Oh, yeah. Faaan-tastic. "Of course. Why?"
"You seem a bit off," he raised a questioning eyebrow, perching himself on the arm of the chair I was sitting cross-legged in.
"No, I'm fine," I replied half-heartedly, which I'm sure didn't help my cause. "My mum hardly even acknowledged my presence when we left London. Actually, she didn't so much as say goodbye."
"Oh, I'm sorry," Remus said automatically, giving me an apologetic look. "Was your dad there?"
I shook my head wordlessly. "He had to work."
"Oh."
After a few seconds, I turned to face him and gave him a stricken look. "You know, Rem, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Why can't she just accept me for who I am - chipped black nail polish, tattered trainers, loudmouthed friends, and all? She didn't have a problem with Luke being like me."
"Yes, well, Luke's also - "
"A boy," I said in unison with him. "Well, that's her own fault for making the two of us share a bedroom until he left for Hogwarts."
Remus was silent, not knowing what to say as we had had the discussion what seemed like hundreds of times before and I could never be consoled.
"She hardly even blinked at my OWLs," I sighed. "Eight, Remus - I got eight."
"And?"
"And she sniffed at them because they were all the ones I needed to be an Auror," I gave the fire a disdainful look. "Oh, and because Divination is just guess work - well, of course it is. I have no idea how I scraped an OWL in it."
"You know what, Allie?" Remus asked as I leaned over and rested my head on his thigh. "Your mum is going to have quite the shock when you're a successful and powerful witch and your sisters will only be able to curtsy and pour tea properly."
I gave Remus a good-natured chuckle, knowing that he was trying his hardest to make me feel better. The good thing about having the same best mate since you were five means they know how you tick.
"Allie, why didn't you tell me you like James?"
And there it was.
"We don't really talk about stuff like that," I shrugged, playing with the hem of my skirt absentmindedly.
"Don't we?" Remus asked. "I thought we could talk about everything."
"There's a difference between what we can talk about and what we do talk about, though," I looked up at him for the first time since he sat down, the flickering light of the fire illuminating the scars and marks on his face. "You know?"
Remus looked down at me and met my eyes. Another good thing about having the same best mate since you were five is that no matter how hard they might try to hide it, you always know what they're thinking.
"Stop it, Rem," I looked away from him, not letting him read my mind as he thought he could.
"I can't help it," Remus gave me an apologetic look. "As your best friend, I reserve the right of any 'older brother' duties - "
"'Older brother'?" I raised an eyebrow, looking back at Remus in annoyance. "I'm six months your senior!"
"It's a figure of speech," Remus explained, then continued. "Basically, I just don't want to see you get hurt."
"I know, Remus," I sighed. "Look, I'm going to be seventeen in two weeks. I think I can handle myself. I do thank you for back in the fourth year when you hexed Theodore Dawson for breaking my heart - "
"You knew that was me?" Remus asked, shocked. "How did you know that?"
"Please, Rem," I smirked smugly. "I'm not a lady Marauder for nothing."
"What was I thinking?" Remus let out a laugh, getting to his feet. "I think I'm going to turn in."
"Me, too," I sighed. "Can you believe we're NEWT students starting tomorrow?"
"I'd rather not talk about it," Remus grimaced.
"Goodnight, Rem," I said, warranting him a smile before retreating to the girls' dormitory.
I hurried up the spiral staircase, passing all the dormitories that I had inhabited the first five years I was at Hogwarts and stopped short of the top of the tower to the sixth year dormitory. Without knocking, I pushed the great cedar door open, revealing my four roommates, Nat, Lily, Dorcas, and Sarah, who were finishing unpacking and tacking up posters. I ignored Lily, Dorcas, and Sarah and hurried over to my bed, which was between Nat's and Lily's. I had done a somewhat lackadaisical unpacking as I couldn't stand listening to the others - well, mainly just Lily, Dorcas, and Sarah - jabber about their summers and boys and anything else that came to mind.
I silently changed into a tank top and pyjama pants as Nat finished putting up a collage of pictures next to her four-poster. I could feel her gaze on me, but I chose to ignore it. Just as I was about to turn in, a rather haughty voice interrupted me.
"So, Allie," Sarah said, flipping her blonde hair over one shoulder from her bed. It looked as though she was writing in a diary of some sort, but I didn't care enough to find out. "Is it true you're dating James Potter?"
I noticed Lily look up from her bed, a surprised expression on her face. "Really?"
"Yeah, I am," I shrugged, pulling a strand of hair behind my ear and willing my face not to turn red. "Why?"
"I was just wondering," Sarah replied, a smirk playing on her lips.
"Well, it's about time he looked at someone who wasn't me," Lily scoffed, not realizing how vain that sounded.
"It turns out he's liked me for quite some time, actually," I began to play with the lie, making a mental note to let James know about this new establishment in our nine hour fake relationship. "We'd just discovered that the feelings were mutual over the summer and talked it out on the Express."
"Looks like you lost your chance, Lily," Nat spoke up, grinning at the redhead.
"Looks that way," Lily shrugged. Then, dripping with sarcasm, she added, "You can bet that I am completely and utterly heartbroken."
Taking advantage of no one talking to me, I climbed into my bed and shut the hangings around me, leaving me in darkness. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief as I melted into my pillows, but was rudely disturbed when my hangings were ripped open and shut again.
'Lumos,' Nat muttered, sitting cross-legged on the other end of my bed.
I sighed heavily, making sure she realized how much I didn't want to talk, but sat up nonetheless. Her red hair was illuminated by her wand, which she was holding up lazily.
"Yes?" I asked after a few silent moments.
"I already put a silencing charm on our hangings," Nat said right away, as though that was supposed to comfort me. "As always, we can hear them, but they can't hear us."
"Which means you can kill me right now and they'll have no idea," I nodded, leaning my head on my right hand. "It's the same as every year, Nat."
"I just wanted to make sure you knew so you can tell me the truth," Nat continued, her eyes narrowing slightly to show she meant business.
"What do you want to know?" I asked, already knowing the answer to my question.
"Is there more to your relationship with James than you're letting on?" Nat asked point blank.
Determined to make my best friend believe the lie - there is so much wrong with that sentence - I waited a beat, as though confused as to what she was getting at. Then, I furrowed my brow, the perfect mix of being shocked and insulted.
"Well, we're not about to elope if that's what you're asking," I gave her a contemptuous look.
"No, I mean, is there less to your relationship, I suppose," Nat revised her question, not giving in. "This isn't, like, some sort of lie, is it?"
"Nat, you've read my diary plenty of times - without my consent, I might add," I rolled my eyes, glad I didn't have to completely lie this time. "You know how long I've liked James."
"Yes, well, on the train it just seemed sort of," Nat looked around the hangings, as though the words were printed on them. "I don't know - forced."
"Let me see, Nat," I scoffed. "Why might it have been forced? Oh, that's right, we were being forced to kiss in front of our friends because they didn't buy our relationship."
"Allie, come on, Sirius and I were just kidding around - "
"Well, I didn't find it very funny," I gave her a wounded look, trying to ignore my conscience screaming at me in my head. "You guys take things way too far sometimes."
Nat just looked at me, her expression impossible to read. She seemed to be trying to read my mind, much like Remus had been only moments before.
"I'm really tired, though, Nat," I complained, stretching my legs out again. "Can we talk about this more tomorrow?"
"Are we square?" she asked, giving me a questioning look.
"I'm still upset with you if that answers your question," I replied, pushing her lightly with my foot under the comforter. "Goodnight, Nat."
"Night, Allie," she said. 'Nox.'
Author's Note: Woo..lackadaisical. Heck yes for a hundred dollar word. :-) That's what you get when you take college english courses.
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