[A/N: Happy Thanksgiving!]

Chapter 17 [Mithian's Chamber]

Merlin hustled down the passage. His strides struggled to keep pace with Mithian's. Frustration burned at his mind. Why was the Princess up there? She did not deserve to hear that. Why could Gwen not just leave me alone? I wanted to think about everything! I'm just supposed to be able to deal with everything? He bowed his head.

Mithian lingered in front of her chamber door. Her semi-sprint burned off Anger's blazing mood. Her eye discerned Contrition and Frustration in his posture and face. Her expression softened. She opened the door. "Merlin, follow me." She pointed for him to go inside.

He nodded. Frankly he did not know what else he could say to her. Clarification demanded Apology and Explanation. He heard Gaius' advice from earlier that year. "Not every Prince is as good to their servant as Arthur." He trudged into the chamber.

"Milady!"

Mithian turned to see Britomart storming down the passage. Embarrassment and Rage reddened her face and twisted her mouth into a deep frown. "Britomart, what is it?"

"Pardon me, Milady." Britomart curtseyed. "I went to Princess Josiane's chamber to thank her on your behalf. I had the most vile experience!" She made a face.

"What?" Mithian put Merlin's situation aside. "Did she insult you? I will not stand for that!"

"Nay she did not. Her uncle did. That oaf ridiculed me for having manners." Britomart coughed. "He actually said I could learn something from Merlin. I told him that Merlin has manners and cares! OOH!" She stomped her foot. "Pardon me. You do not…"

"This 'uncle' knows me?" Merlin stuck his head out the door.

"Merlin." Mithian shook her head at him.

"With due respect, the oaf knew him. He called himself Gawain. He sat there so sure of himself with this obnoxious smirk and twinkle in his eye." Britomart rolled her eyes. "I know you need to talk before dinner. With your permission, may I go downstairs to help?"

"Aye. Thank you. I appreciate it." Mithian nodded. She watched her chambermaid walk toward the door. "Do you know this person?"

"We have actually met twice." Merlin shrugged. He considered his words with care. "Gawain is my friend. He has issues with nobles and court manners. His father was a knight. His mother, sister and him were forced from their manor after his father's death. His sister was sold into slavery. His mother got sick and died. He never got over it. He's saved Arthur twice. Uther still expelled him from Camelot on pain of death."

"I see." She raised an eyebrow. Insight filled in the entire story for her. "This Gawain despises nobility and courtly tradition because of what happened to his family and then in Camelot?"

"Aye. He helped me against two thugs disguised as knights. Uther wanted Gawain killed. Arthur convinced him to exile Gawain. Then Gawain saved Arthur during a melee from those same two thugs. Because those two used magic, Uther kept the punishment at banishment." He shook his head. "He did not have to insult Britomart. I am sorry about that." Merlin frowned.

"You are right. I know that, Merlin. Perhaps later, I can ask you to talk with him?" She pointed into her chamber. "Please come in. I believe I can trust you to act appropriately?" She glanced around.

"Of course, Princess." He bowed to her. "I am sorry about what I said earlier. I wanted to be alone before dinner. I needed to think on everything." He walked into the chamber. "Maybe we should keep the door cracked or open? I know the walls have ears. I do not want anyone gossiping about you."

Logic agreed with his suggestion. She followed him into the chamber. "I appreciate your insight into the courtiers. So what happened? Why did you just start yelling those things about me?"

Embarrassment reddened his face. "Gwen really wants to help me. Her heart's in the right place. She will not take no for an answer. She knows Arthur would want me back as a servant. She wants me to admit my feelings." He glanced toward the door and the passage beyond.

"Feelings?" Her heart skipped a beat. Hope tugged at her in his direction.

He squirmed. "You are different, Princess. You care about people. You tolerate magic and beings like Malodius, Kilgarrah and me. You will not allow anyone to go hungry. Prince Arthur cares too as you will see. There are not many Princesses or Queens like you."

She nodded. "Thank you, Merlin. You did not answer my question. Why did you yell those things?"

He frowned. "Gwen was pressing me. I…" His lip curled still further. "To everyone here, I am a peasant. Should I come out and say that in front of everyone? Denial and Lectures cover us. This is how I survive."

Pity ached in her heart. She stared. A great sorcerer not only has to deny his station but his feelings as well? "Merlin…."

"You did not know, Princess." He turned his face away from her.

She put her hand on top of his. "Merlin, does Prince Arthur know?"

He stiffened. "Nay! He cannot know. Not yet at least. He is opposed to magic. And to survive, I have to say I am as well. I have to deny everything."

"This is intolerable! You are an exile. There is no need for that now!" She ground her teeth. "I will talk to Prince Arthur." She tapped her fingers on the table next to her hand. "Merlin, promise me something?"

"Sure." He forced himself to look up and right into her eyes.

"Since I know your secret, please do not lie to me. Promise me you will be more careful of what you say in the future. You were thinking of my reputation when you said those things. I am quite capable of speaking for myself, Merlin. If you notice these things happening, please come to me. We will work together on a strategy. Your subterfuge drove a wedge between Morgana and you. It could have done that between a less understanding Princess or Queen and you. Let us figure out another way." She smiled. "Can you promise me that?"

He could almost see the difficulties imbedded in her strategy. Camelot would not accept Tolerance's stand at least not readily. He did not have a choice however. Besides he was no longer tied to Arthur or Camelot despite the lingering desire to be so tied. "I promise."

"Good!" Her eyes sparkled. "Then I am satisfied! Perhaps you might do me a favor?"

"If I can." He bowed to her.

"Can you speak to that man…?" Her eyes drifted down the passage.

"Gawain? Yeah I can do that." He got up and bowed. "I can do that before dinner. I shall see you there."

"Aye. Thank you, Merlin. This was most insightful." She nodded to him. She watched him depart the chamber. Such a sad life. Well no matter if we are in Camelot or Nemeth, I would certainly make changes.

Purpose had made up its mind it seemed….