Quondam – Part Five

Author: Taligator
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters or fictitious locations; they belong to J. K. Rowling. All original plots belong to me.

Summary: He lived in silence and solitude, outcast. Then, fate dropped in and changed his life.

Rushing over to Harry, he fell on his knees before him. Touching two fingers to his neck he was both thrilled and angry at the strong pulse. Choking back on a sob he slid down to sit on the ground. Tears streaming from his eyes as he laid his head on Harry's knee, shoulders shaking violently. It was uncharacteristic of him and yet he could not help himself.

He was startled out of his pain and loss when he felt a hand on his head. He looked up and it slid down to cup his cheek.

"Severus?"

"I came in here, you … I … dead." The tears continued their journey down his cheeks leaving silvery streaks paler than his own skin on his cheeks.

Harry looked down at the wand in his hands and fingered it restlessly.

"Why would you do this? Am I so distasteful? Can you not bear to be around me?" The words that came out of his mouth surprised even him, had he been alone so long that he had no dignity left?

Harry leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. It was a brush of butterfly wings in flight. A gift given, when taken away, bereft.

Harry cleared his throat roughly. "I didn't," he paused and swallowed to moisten his still sleep dry mouth, "want to be a burden."

A burden? Harry thought he was a burden, even though it was he who wore his clothes, ate his food, and slept in his bed. He didn't want to be a burden to me?

He tried for more at my apparent puzzlement. "My injuries, healing me."

"You really are a stupid boy aren't you? How can one boy be so dense?"

That was the wrong thing to say as his face crumbled.

"Harry," he had to try to say something without hurting him more. "Have I changed that much that you thought I'd do something I didn't want to do without question? I am offering this to you."

His eyes reminded me of stream glass, the kind worn smooth by the water. A broken bottle that fell in and has never resurfaced. It was shiny on the edges and but the center dulled by time and wear.

"I never told you how I came to be here. I'm not entirely sure myself. I have spent my time in agony of fear. I am terrified that I'll lose the one thing precious to me, my sight; or more accurately, my ability to be a Potions Master. So much that I have willed myself into temporary blindness thereby proving my fear."

Harry curled his fingers into Severus' hair, gripping it as though to anchor him. His other hand slid in between the long fingers resting on his thigh.

"He gave us both the same fate when he knew he could not kill us. He wanted us to suffer and he made our worst nightmares come true. You, he saw as a threat, I was merely a thorn in his side." He moved restlessly against the chair and the hands holding him.

Harry released his hold on Severus to let him go if he needed it. Severus relaxed once he was free and pressed back against Harry.

Harry whispered, "A spell?" Harry whispered in awe. A spell had done this to him. He thought, he didn't know what he thought but it all seemed to make sense. Not one person was on his side anymore, Remus wasn't really on his side just an outcast like him and lonely.

"Why are you surprised? We are wizards after all. Unless you'd forgotten that you could cast spells like that. You never were much of …" Severus stopped abruptly. "Harry, I'm a bitter old man. I keep thinking of you when you were a student and even then it was unfair but I couldn't help it. I never said I was a righteous man." He lay his head down on Harry's knee and sighed. This was all much more difficult than he'd ever thought it could be.

Harry placed his palm on top of Severus' head and let it rest there. Waiting.

His voice was slightly muffled when he began speaking again. "The only thing I've come up with is that I wished myself away from where I was. Wished myself to a place I was needed and could stop worrying."

--

He'd never expected Severus to speak as plainly as he was. To admit that he needed to be needed, that was extraordinary for most people, even more so for Severus.

He wasn't a child any longer and Severus was no longer an authority figure in his life. Their dynamics had changed but the way they viewed each other had not. Slowly they were evolving, he had, after all, only been back in Harry's life for a day.

He was curious about the magic it took Severus to get here and if anyone else knew he was here. It explained most of his state when he arrived, minus the half-starved prison victim look. Of course, if he was living as scared as Harry was most of the time it was a wonder he didn't look worse.

He sat in his chair and softly stroked the warm head on his lap.

He was content.

They dozed in the comfort of truth and companionship.

A rough knock at the door startled them both out of their sleep, jerking them straight up.

Harry looked quizzically at the door and Severus seemed to fold in on himself. Harry leaned over and placed a kiss on the top of Severus' head and then stood. He wavered in place while he regained his balance, fingers reaching into the air for hold and then carefully stretched out his legs.

Walking to the front of the house, he kept a free hand on the wall for support. His left hand held the wand, clutched tightly. It felt comfortable there and he hadn't known that comfort for a long time.

He looked through the peephole, a muggle invention he'd added and saw that it was Remus. As though going through a process he unlocked, locked, and then unlocked each lock on the door starting from the top and working his way down. He liked locks.

--

Remus stood patiently on the steps of Harry's house, waiting for him to finish unlocking the door. He never knew why he had so many locks, he lived in the middle of nowhere and nobody ever visited. It was almost an obsession. Not to mention his incessant need to first unlock, relock, and then unlock each lock.

He hated to be here but they were worried about Harry. They'd sensed a burst of magic coming from his property and they sent Remus to check up on him. Their little spy once again. Harry trusted him and he shouldn't.

Finally the door opened and a sleepy-eyed Harry peered out at him, "Remus?" The words surprised him, Harry had lost his voice so long ago that he thought it odd to hear him speak, rough though it was.

"Harry," he really was pleased and he let that show. "I wasn't expecting the voice to work, how have you been? Practicing it seems!" His entire life was a lie and now he lied to Harry's face, pretending to be cheery.

Harry nodded his head to the inside of the house, beckoning Remus in without words.

Apparently speaking was a low priority.

He stepped inside and waited for Harry to lock his door. He repeated the same process he did to unlock the door. Tedious.

Harry finished his task and walked them toward the kitchen. He began making a pot of tea without asking if Remus wanted any. He looked over the kitchen while Harry carefully measured tea and boiled water.

The waste bin was overflowing with potion bottles, herb packets, and various potion ingredients. He surreptitiously looked through the papers on the table, taking note of the large list of raw potions ingredients.

"Harry, they sent me here to check up on you. They noticed a very large magical burst yesterday morning and they wanted to know what it was. I've been authorized to bind you and give you a variant of Veritaserum if you do not want to tell me willingly." Remus hated to say it, but knew Harry wouldn't speak freely. He didn't appear to trust anyone, not that he really blamed him. "The Veritaserum opens up your mind and the variant vocalizes the thoughts. You won't be able to hide anything."

Harry turned toward him and Remus was able to see a spark of defiance and anger in his eyes.

"Don't make me use it Harry, just tell me what I need to know and I'll leave you alone. I didn't ask to come here."

Harry stiffened but continued making the tea and then turned to bring it to the table. He looked beyond Remus at the door and then back down at the table.

Harry's movement toward the table brought with it new scents, including one he'd never smelt in Harry's house before. He inhaled deeply to pinpoint the smell and he looked at Harry, narrowing his eyes.

Harry's guilty eyes darted back over Remus' head again and then back down to the table. Remus turned in his seat to catch a glimpse of dark green robes swirling away. He jumped up and charged after the robes.

"STOP!" Harry yelled out as loud as he could, his voice cracking and breaking in pain. Remus stopped and looked at Harry. Harry began coughing and could not stop. He spat into a handkerchief and Remus saw blood.

"Who is it Harry? Who are you hiding?" Remus wasn't certain he was pleased or angry. He was pleased that Harry was defying them, but angry that he was hiding someone from him. Remus stalked over the small space and grabbed Harry by the shoulders, shaking him.

"Don't touch him." The voice was low and menacing and it came from directly behind Remus.

Refusing to jump, he let go of Harry and turned slowly around. It took him a moment before his mind could grasp who actually stood behind him.

Severus Snape.

"This makes more sense than it should." He waved a hand at the overflowing waste bin and the list. "What is a potion's master without his ingredients?"

"Leave him alone and I'll tell you why I'm here and what the magical burst was. He had nothing to do with it." Severus had managed to slide around the perimeter of the room to stand behind Harry, who he touched gently on the shoulder.

Severus motioned that Harry open up his mouth so he could check his throat, he did so obediently and then Severus began mixing Firewhiskey with honey, which he gave to Harry to drink.

Remus watched all this with curious eyes. Severus hadn't willingly left his home in quite a long time. They hadn't told him that Severus had left and they kept Remus informed despite his own estranged status and insisted that he stay away from the general populace. They used him to keep hold of Harry. He was the only link they had to keep him in line. He didn't think Harry realized what his true purpose was.

Harry was coughing and sputtering as the whiskey burned his raw throat. Severus rubbed his back and kept a baleful and watchful eye on Remus.

"You look like hell Snape, what happened to you?"

Severus snorted, "The same thing that happened to everyone who tried to do the right thing."

"Don't lie. We know you sold your soul to the devil a long time ago. Your being alive isn't because you tried to do the right thing." Remus retorted self-righteously.

Harry had moved to stand more firmly in front of Severus and he watched Remus with closed off eyes. Remus looked at him and thought they were, 'killer's eyes'.

Remus wasn't immune to the words they told him about Harry. He thought him a murderer just like everyone else. It didn't matter the goal he accomplished, all that mattered was that he'd killed a lot of innocent people.

Remus sat at the table keeping wary eyes on the two recluses in front of him. An unlikely pair but Remus could see that they were a pair. They sat in unison, Severus pulled Harry's chair closer till it butt up against his.

Severus fussed over Harry and Harry tolerated it, much to Remus' surprise. Finally they sat and stared at him.

"Is Snape your new nursemaid? He's a little old for that and highly skilled, how are you paying him Harry?" He was almost shocked by the snide words that came from his mouth. He knew it was them doing this and it made him angry.

Harry's eyes flared bright and he lifted his chin in defiance but said nothing. Severus gripped the edge of his seat and his robes. Harry touched his thigh and Remus could see him back down.

"Why don't I just tell you what I know so that you can leave as quickly as possible?" Severus eyed Remus with distrust.

Remus smirked. "I don't know who is more protective, you or him. I'm sure that they will be thrilled to find out that you two are together. It'll make keeping any eye on you easier."

Harry looked confused and Severus' lips tightened into a thin line.

"What, you didn't know you were watched? Come on Harry, I know you aren't stupid." He couldn't pinpoint why he was so catty. It made no sense to him. "Tell me your story. I want to go home and the sooner I leave here the sooner I can leave the ministry and get there."

"Very well, as I told Harry, I don't exactly know what happened. I only know that I was upset and began wishing for a better place to be. I felt dizzy as though I'd taken a portkey. I woke up here in his house hours later. Beyond that, I can't tell you anything." Severus paused and smiled almost evilly, "you can leave now."

Remus barked in laughter. "You act as if you own this place; it's up to Harry to tell me to leave. It's his house."

Harry coughed lightly and took a sip of his tea, "He speaks for me too." He coughed again and his face was veiled in pain.

"Excuse me? He's been here for a day and now he speaks for you? What is going on Harry? You hate this man and you've always hated this man. Now he's in your house, in your robes and running your life and this is FINE with you?" He reached into his robes for the potion he'd brought.

Harry stood and out of his sleeve slid his wand, falling easily into place and he kept it low but obviously at Remus. He moved in front of Severus.

Remus stood abruptly and his chair skittered backwards and hit the wall. "I didn't want to do this Harry but you leave me no choice. I fear he's put you under some spell and you aren't thinking clearly. I'm taking you with me" He deftly pulled out his own wand and aimed it Harry. With a binding spell on his lips he was knocked backwards with a gust of air and hit the chair and wall behind him. His wand flew into the air and clattered on the floor. Sliding down against the wall he ended up sitting back on his chair looking dazed.

He was certain neither Harry nor Severus has said anything or moved. How then had he ended up knocked off his feet without his wand?

He blinked up at them and felt wary for the first time since entering the house. He'd always felt superior to Harry since he was injured but now he wasn't so certain. He knew he was strong but he'd never lashed out like this before. He'd never threatened him.

He didn't know who had thrown him but he had a feeling he shouldn't push his luck. He stood and unnecessarily dusted his hands on his pants. Keeping his eyes on them he walked sideways to where his wand was on the floor and knelt down and picked it up. Moving slowly he headed for the front door. The shuffling behind him indicated that Harry was following him.

He reached the door well before Harry and began unlocking the doors. It always irritated Harry when he didn't let him do the locks and it was his last stab at him. He didn't like having his back to Harry but trusted him enough that he wouldn't be underhanded or cowardly and strike while his back was turned.

He finally unlocked all the damn locks and turned to look at Harry, only it was Severus who stood behind him. Harry was nowhere to be seen.

"I trust I don't have to tell you that you aren't welcome here any longer and that hurting him is one of the stupidest things you've ever done?" Severus fairly sneered at Remus.

He nodded, he knew it but he had no choice. They wouldn't let him be happy and they wouldn't let him be close to Harry without distorting and twisting it into something that was a lie.

He walked out the door and didn't look back. He'd tell them what they asked but he knew they wouldn't ask him to return. He also knew he wouldn't see Harry again, at least, not for a very long time

In some deep recess of his mind he was sad but Harry was nothing to him, he was just another dead person's son.