Chapter 13
Just a warning, there's a fair bit of swearing in this one!
All things considered, Olorin took being thrown up on like a seasoned nurse.
He hadn't even been grossed out when, floppy-boned and disorientated, she'd tried to speak but instead had gurgled up a bit of soggy bread. Instead he'd laughed when Elrond's face tightened in disgust.
"I know that you have enquiries." He'd said gently, after wiping her face and helping her crawl back onto the sofa. "But I would think you've waited long enough to tell us who you are, no?"
He was right of course. She had waited long enough. And even though the walls were heaving, she knew that the quicker she stumbled through an explanation, the sooner they'd let her go. And getting home was all that mattered. Questions of how or why or whatthefuckjusthappened could wait until she was safely on the other side of the Vortice and out of this war-zone.
She gulped around a surge of acidic bile and stuttered: "W-where should I start?"
"How about at the beginning?" He suggested, looking down at her past his bulbous-end nose. "I believe that is a popular place to begin tales such as these."
"…and then I ended up here." She finished lamely as Elrond pressed a steaming stein into her hands. Her nose wrinkled at its bitter smell, but at the least the walls had stopped spinning. "You guys know the rest."
It was just them, Olorin, Glorfindel and Lindir left. Celeborn had escorted the two women out halfway through her story and hadn't come back. She tried to keep her explanation as brief as possible. No mum, barely any dad. Just the Vortice and Mercury. And the urgency of home.
She looked around the room, expecting someone to go 'oh wow, that sucks, guess you better be going' but instead of offers to get back to the Brew-inen, everyone just started talking at the same time.
"Highly curious. And a tale – no-doubt – for the ages. How this could be possible I do not have the knowle-"
"Word has already been sent to Erenion. Though I still wonder on the leaves of Yavanna. At first, I thought them false but I gravely doubt trickery could be so intricate, so real."
"I think, Elrond, that the leaves do not matter as much as the fact that there is an alleged passageway at the bottom of the Bruinen and we were no wiser to it!" Glorfindel snapped. "And are we supposed to just believe her wild story when we have seen reports of countless of her people join with Sauron in Rhu-"
Olorin bristled. "I believe the two issues not to be exclusive of one another, Laurefindil. Both are paths of intrigue that bear levels of legitimacy. Far-fetched as her tale may be, I do not think she a spy of the enemy sent here to thwart us."
"And yet is that so far-fetched as well?" Elrond interjected. "That the enemy would-"
Leda tuned them out as they argued about her as if she wasn't there. She was rapidly running out of time, and they were arguing on whether or not she was a spy? Up until an hour ago, she couldn't even speak their language. Shitty kind of spy if you asked her, which they weren't bothering to. And who gave a fuck about the leaves? She thought, taking quick sips from her stein. Despite its horrible smell, the tea tasted quite sweet. And what the hell was an Erenion?
She let her frustration peak before she decided to jump in.
"Elrond, about getting back to the river-"
"Miss Gauling?" Olorin interjected, drawing her attention. He was still seated beside her, eyes bright and strangely intense for such an old man. That is, an old man that had stuck his fingers in her brain and mashed it up, of course. "What do you mean by 'pour-tal'? This is not a Sindarin word."
Irritated, she set her cup down hard, sloshing the tea up over the rim and turned to him.
"I mean a portal, Olorin." She said quickly. "It's like a doorway but bigger. And what do you mean it isn't a Sindarin word? Actually, don't comment on that, I don't care. I just want to go-"
"A doorway under the river, you say?" He interrupted again, ignoring her tirade. "A strange location to place a door, no?"
"No-" She huffed. "Well I mean, yes. But it's not a door. I guess the word does mean door but this one is invisible. But listen, we need to talk about me getti-"
"An invisible door at the bottom of a lake?"
She threw her hands up in defeat. "I know it sounds bloody ridiculous, ok? I feel ridiculous arguing its existence after years of denial, but it exists. And it is a Vortice. And its…" She shuddered. "Magic or whatever. Probably the same magic that's allowing us to speak right now but all I need is to-"
From the desk, Glorfindel's voice rose sharply as he railed at Elrond. From where he stood guard at the door, Lindir's shifted slightly at the noise.
"You may be Lord here, but I am Emissary, and you will not disregard my judgment!"
Olorin cleared his throat and offered a strained smile.
"You do not believe in the very manner in which you came to be here?" He asked, stroking his long beard.
"I just told you that I fell through an invisible doorway in a lake that turned into a river and I'm suddenly able to understand a full foreign language in fifteen seconds and you do believe me?" She countered.
"Yes, I do. Although I suppose such things are more believable here than your Earf."
"Be that as it may," she ground out. "I don't really care. All I'm asking is to be shown the way back to the Brew-inen so I can go back ho-"
Glorfindel's fist cracked against the stone table and she jumped at the noise.
"No. I refuse it! The only ones left in existence are those few my mother's people took from the base of Ungoliant's dread. None should exist this south of the Grinding Ice, save for those hidden by Melkor if he thought them jewel enough to take. It is impossible for them to be in her possession in any way that implies innocen-"
"Fuck the leaves!" Leda exploded, jumping to her feet. Her chest heaved from anger. "And fuck you for thinking I'm some spawn of Satan. The leaves don't fucking matter. What matters is you letting me go the hell home!"
You could have cut the answering silence with a knife.
Olorin sighed and set his staff against his knees.
"Oh dear," he muttered. "Here it begins."
"…What did you say?"
Now would have been the perfect moment to back down. She should say sorry, I didn't mean that, it came out all wrong, thank you for everything, I really need to get home but she was so angry at his insinuation that instead, she doubled down. She'd be damned if some- some…murderer was going to imply she was some spy.
"I don't care about the leaves or my head – well, unless it's permanently damaged- I just don't-"
"You would have to possess a head for it to be damaged." Lindir muttered.
"Lindir!" Elrond reprimanded sharply.
"-Care." She barrelled on, ignoring the interrupted. "None of this matters. I don't care about here or the leaves or whatever a Erenion is." She took a shuddering breath and jabbed her finger at Glorfindel. "I'm not a fucking spy. I'm lost. And while I'm so thankful for what you have done for me, I have to go. What I've been trying to say all goddamn week is that there's no time. The Vortice is closing, and I cannot be stuck here with- with-"
"With us, you mean?" He interrupted, voice deceptively calm. "With us who have clothed you? Bathed you? Who had fed you and babied you? You…do not care about us?"
His eyes narrowed and she went on the defence.
"No. That's not what I meant. I didn't mean that I don't care about you. I'm just saying that it doesn't matter. All I want is to go home and you don't believe me because of what? You can't go around murdering people and then say that I'm the bad one."
His mouth twisted into a sneer and he took a heavy step towards her.
"Murder? Was it murder when Gildor saved you from being choked to death? Was it murder when he took the blow meant to cleave you soft head in two and killed the beasts who would kill and defile you?"
"My head isn't-"
But he was on a roll, and with each word his fury grew.
"Were the soldiers who died on the journey here murderers? Do you not care for them?" He spat. "They who lay down their lives for you? The soldiers who paved the path for your safe return with their blood and bones and their-"
"But I never asked them to!" She cried, trying too late to backpedal. "And I'm not saying I'm not grateful- I was there- I can't forget it but I'm trying to tell you that the Vortice is closing and all you can talk about are some dumb leav-"
He snarled, ears flattening to the sides of his head as he took another step.
"The leaves are more important than your entire existence-"
"I just want you to let me leave! I'm not asking for-"
"I," Elrond's voice sliced through the charged air, stopping Glorfindel mid-stride. "Do not have to let you do anything, Miss Gauling."
Elrond's face was carefully empty, but by his clipped tone, she knew she'd overstepped. Guilt softened the edge of her anger as she turned her plight to him. They'd worked together for days. If anyone was going to listen to her and common sense, it might be him.
"Elrond please." She whispered. Glorfindel clucked his tongue at her begging and turned to stare out of the window. "I'm sorry for what I said- I didn't mean that I don't care- that your people- that they-"She swallowed. "Died but- but you heard what I said. The Vortice could be about to close and I don't know enough about it or here to know that it will ever open again. I can't get stuck here. On this planet or world or dimension or wherever the hell I am."
His jaw ticked but she latched onto the flicker of uncertainty in his eye.
"Please. Please." She pleaded. "I'm not asking for a- an escort or a guide. I'm just asking for my stuff back. I can remember the way. I just need you to point me in the direction of the door. I can't stay, Elrond. I can't. You know I can't. I don't belong here."
Hopeful, she smiled but it faded as she realised that the look she had taken for uncertainty had actually been his resolve.
"No."
Something in her chest cracked.
"'No'? What do you mean no? 'No' you won't let me just walk out by myself? 'No' as in I'm a prisoner-"
His eyes narrowed.
"You are no prisoner, Miss Gauling." He said. "But I cannot in good conscience just let you walk to the Bruinen when you have no skills to survive and may very well be captured on your journey."
"But-"
He held up his hand to cut her off.
"You said that the Orc knew your words- your Engleish. How are we to know that another does not know again? Perhaps the reason my people are besieged is your presence and-"
"You think I'm doing this?" She gaped. "You think that I'm some spy sent here to what- steal the plans for how you piss into a hole in the floor? You think I'm the reason that you- that your- that they died?"
His nostrils flared. "That is not what I implied-"
"Will you all cease your incessant bickering!" Olorin burst. He stood and seemed to grow and grow until he towered over all of them. His silly wizard hat skimmed the ceiling and his shadows stretched far across the floor to the tips of her toes. Leda yelped and scuttled backwards until she hit the wall. If she wasn't staring directly at him, she would have never believed it possible. Unfortunately, she seemed to be the only one remotely distressed that a six-foot man was now somewhere closer to fifteen
Glorfindel still had his back to her, but he sounded exasperated when he said: "Olorin, this is not necessary."
"I said enough!" Olorin boomed, voice crackling like falling rock.
He banged his staff on the ground and the white rock flared white and sprayed orange embers across the room. She squeaked and stomped on any embers that came too close into black soot. Her brain seemed to be short circuiting, stuck in a loop of whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefu-
"You are all more infuriating than a pile of Tooks!" Olorin sniffed.
Elrond, who was as unphased at the (frankly disturbing) display as Glorfindel was, sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. It seemed that the outburst had sucked the tension right out of his shoulders.
"And what," he said lazily. "Is a 'Took', Istar?"
Olorin blinked and looked to where she was half-crouched, gripping onto the wall. He sighed and, within one blink and the next, had shrunk back to his normal size. All the long shadows slivered back under his robes and Leda hoped they would stay forever.
"A Took?" Olorin ran a wrinkled finger across his mouth while Leda tried to reconcile this craggy old man with the fifteen-foot demon he had been seconds before. "I believe I do not know that yet."
"Of course you do not." Elrond muttered with a shake of his head.
Glorfindel turned to lean his hips against the stone desk. He was expressionless but she knew from the way his eyes skipped over her, that she wasn't exactly his favourite person right now. Which was fine, because beneath the complete shock of Olorin becoming a giant, she wasn't too happy with him either. If he wasn't so hell bent on labelling her this harbinger of doom, she'd be home by now.
"Cease your cowering." He scoffed, and it might have been the simmering panic under her skin, but she could have sworn he sounded a little…gleeful at her vulnerability. "Olorin is no more dangerous to you than you are to me."
She barely had enough energy left to form a scowl. "That isn't the insult you think it is."
"Oh?" His eyebrow quirked. "Are you admitting to latent danger-"
"Enough!" Olorin huffed. "All of you. We will chase each other through a maze of speech until all have perished if we continue on this vein."
He turned to her and had enough sense to look a bit sheepish. "My apologies, Miss Gauling. You do not need fear me. Sometimes I forget even my most inherent characteristics."
"You…forget that when you're angry you grow ten feet?" Testament to how insane everything was, was the fact that she didn't even feel that scared. Just sort of incredulous. Maybe she was in shock. Or maybe having a sometimes-giant root around in your brain was bad for your mental health.
Olorin snorted, waved his hand and sat back down heavily. "Something like that."
"Something like-" Leda broke off into a laugh that scraped her throat until her eyes watered. The conversation and emotional tone switches were giving her whiplash. She felt like she was going mad. "Jesus Christ. Did you break my head?"
His fingers tapped against his staff and watched her struggle with herself. Or maybe he was already in her head, rooting around. Maybe he could hear her every thought. She wasn't sure how comfortable she was with that.
"Do you feel like your head is broken?" He asked.
Leda shrugged helplessly. "I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone. Like this place is upside down and I'm lost."
"Perhaps." He said hedged. "You are very far from home, this we know. And yet 'lost' is not the word I would use for you. Waylaid, mayhap. But not lost. How could you be lost if you are right here?"
She frowned. What the hell did that mean?
"Right now, there is no path to the Bruinen. The Stronghold is under siege."
"I know." She said. "But I'm not asking for your he-"
"Help, yes. And yet we would give it, even if you would refuse." He said. "But lives will be lost should you venture now, and they cannot be needlessly spared when so many have already been squandered."
Something like shame tried to curdle in her stomach. Was it her imagination or was that a reprimand?
"Can't you send me home? You made me understand." She said, clutching at her last, broken straws. "And you made the stick- it sparked. And you grew- you're obviously…something. Couldn't you just send me back? Make another Vortice or something?"
He shook his head. "That is beyond my power. Whence you have come, I cannot reach. But the event you spoke of. This 'Mercury' you call it, in 'ree-trograde'. A star appearing as two. It is familiar to me."
That pulled her up short. If, Mercury (or at least a Mercury-type planetary event) existed here then where was 'here'? Dad had always said that the Vortice was a portal to another world- but what if… She looked around here, at the quills and the Edhel and an old man with young eyes who could create embers by banging his staff and grow ten feet in three seconds. Could it be?
No. Absolutely not. She'd suspended her understanding of the possibilities of physics enough for one lifetime, she wasn't going to start entertaining that she might be on the same earth. Where would Edhel even come on the evolutionary map? Somewhere between Homo Habilis and Homo Erectus?
"Your calculations were correct." Olorin said, interrupting her thoughts. "The ree-trograde will continue for another twenty or so days. Should a path become clear then I will escort you to the Bruinen myself, but you will remain in The Stronghold until then."
Elrond lip curled and Glorfindel jerked as though ready to object. But all Leda could focus on was that she was going home. She pushed away from the wall suddenly hopeful.
"That is not what was agreed, Istar." Elrond said tersely.
Olorin took no notice of the displeasure and batted his objections away with a wave of his wrinkled hand. "It is my choice to offer myself as guide, Lord Elrond. As is my right as Emissary."
Elrond's nostrils flared again but he said nothing.
"So, you're saying that I can go home?" She asked, all in a rush.
He nodded. "It may not be the immediate outcome you wished for. But it is not a prison sentence. You are free to roam as far as Lord Elrond will permit you."
She could see Glorfindel's lip curl in her periphery, but Leda couldn't stop the grin that threatened to split her face in half.
Whatever, she thought, feeling like she had just seen the sun after months and months of rain, he could stuff himself. She was going home. Her chest swelled, but the happiness was dampened slightly by the prospect of having to wait before she could leave. What if they waited till day twenty and something went wrong and the Vortice shut? Maybe she'd have to find a way out. There couldn't be one way in and one way out, right? Maybe if-
"Provisions will be made for you." Olorin continued. "But you will remain. And Miss Gauling?"
He smiled, but there was a hardness to his eyes that made her think that maybe he could read her mind.
"Do not attempt to leave the Stronghold early. You will not get as far as you think."
She swallowed thickly.
Well shit.
What the hell was she supposed to do for twenty days?
How are we all? I am back with a new chapter. Or what was supposed to be the beginning of a new chapter, but the whole thing was almost 9k so I split it in half. Sorry this took so long, getting back into the grove of writing for fun took much longer than I thought it would.
This is a very wordy, very plotty chapter. I think the next few will be quite plotty, but it has to come in sometime aha I understand if some of you may be frustrated with Leda for attributing elves with murderers. But I just think that realistically, as a 'healer' she wouldn't just be ok with killing, even if it was to save her. But does that feel to forced? It will be discussed and resolved in the next chapter, but I think it's something she has to work past and that it might add another layer to the story. Is this chapter too jumpy? I'm having trouble with translating my short story skills to long-fiction so my pacing might be a bit off.
I have officially finished my Creative Writing Masters! *crying emoji* I actually got my marks back yesterday and I got a Distinction! I'm so beyond happy and shocked and just a teensy bit scared of the future. I want to thank you all for your reviews and criticisms and encouragement. It's like having a big international writers workshop and you always make me feel so encouraged! As you know, I usually get back to reviews/comments during the next upload, so I'll be trying to go back and reply to you guys this weekend.
I've tried to edit most mistakes but my eyes aren't what they used to be lol so if there's any glaring discrepancies, let me know and I'll get to it tomorrow when I'm not so tired aha
I hope you're all well and happy and healthy. 2020 has been a doozy, right? But we're here. We're trying. And if all else fails, we have a fanfiction. If you'd like to chat more, feel free to PM me, or find me on twitter. Username: aobh_fanfiction
Novaer,
Aobh x