Terra felt the impact of his comment and it made her lash out, "Why do you act stupid or idiotic?"
Farkas withdrew from her and took a heavy breath. He appeared to try and regain something he had just lost, but it appeared this was a struggle for him. He flexed his fist slowly, open, closed, open and in an instant, he slammed both his hand against the wall, but in the act of doing this, he had pushed Terra against the wall. The act he had committed forced her to meet his eyes. Those eyes often appeared that they were shifting from a hidden lake blue to a silver blade color. The color didn't matter when they were focused on her, because even with their hypnotic colors they were still peering into her soul. "Terra, I am not intelligent," he gently breathed, "it isn't that I don't have brains, it is simple that I am far to brash to use them effectively. You have been gifted with so much more that I can't imagine attempting to list them all. To describe you would require more words than I have in my limited education."
"You're exaggerating because you have been tricked into thinking I am some great …." Terra paused trying to find the right word, but was drawing a blank at the moment. Iit didn't seem to matter because she was interrupted when he opened his mouth again to talk.
"You haven't tricked me. Right now, at this point, I still have my beast and to be honest he has never been one to fall for glamour or suggestion. If there is anything I can say for myself, it is that I have only ever fought for what I believed in," he attempted to coax Terra to keep constant eye contact with him.
She didn't fight to escape him, but she did struggle to not face him. She had no right to have such affection given to her. She had abandoned them to their own devices, she had left him to fulfill a destiny that she didn't even believe in and here he was spouting out lines of loyalty to someone who was acting as if she was compelled under a spell . If she could say that she did these things to keep him alive and well, then maybe she could face him, but the fact was she didn't think of him. "No, that's not it… I am lying to myself," she said between breaths as she tried to focus on other objects in the room, but just as a parent with a petulant child, he would simply move so his eye met her again.
"Yes, that is what I have been telling you, Terra. You need this to end," Farkas sighed and it sounded something of relief. "You have a fear of something here happening between us and it needs to end because for Fuck's sake, I have come to you even when you hated me for it. I will continue to do so as I am here to swear to you. I swore before to help you as our Harbinger, but now I want more. I am greedy, I am so greedy and you have no clue to how much."
Terra chuckled at this, she had seen how he had behaved. She had a very good concept to how he would behave when dealing with her, but that was now, what would happen once he had her? Flames cool, hearts grow weary. "I will tell you, you only feel this because of the chase, once you've secured me as your partner, wife, companion, or mate, you will realize all that excitement and the attraction is gone. You will go on your own way and I will also be left to my own devices. I refuse to wither away just because someone else has decided I haven't fulfilled some ideal of me hidden in your subconscious that I could never live up to," she felt exasperated and truly at her weakest. She just word vomited all over him and just like true vomit it wasn't pretty and felt terrible coming out of her mouth. She had expected something from the man before her after that mess she get rambled out, but worse than sound she was met with silence. She felt tears surging forth and soft sobs escaping through her lips.
Warmth suddenly engulfed her. Arms gently wrapped around this severely exposed soul and it was met with an unusual warmth. This was the furthest from what was expected. Instead of anger, hatred, or confusion, Terra's exposed nerves were met with safety and warmth and she was terribly confused.
"So all along, the woman before me who had put her life on the line for the world and continues to do so has revealed her fear of being a disappointment and abandoned," Farkas's voice was soothing and his words caressed her spirit gently. "I having know true abandonment would never force such a vile act on another. My mother might have done so to provide my brother and I with a better life, but that didn't mean I didn't hate her on some level in my life. Terra, I am sure you have more to all these fears, but please, truly understand that what I am saying is from the depths of my soul I rarely bare to others, that I would never do this to you."
Something in the way Farkas was speaking made Terra's heart ping with guilt. She had known about their situation and how the Companions had taken in these two little ones and cared for them. Here she was loathing herself for hating her mother for giving up everything for a man and here before her was a man that had been abandoned by the one person who was suppose to have loved them with all her heart. She bit her lip so hard she could taste blood.
Suddenly there was Farkas's hand caressing her cheek, "Let it go, Terra. I have no shame in what has happened to me and I by no means hold any grudge, at least I don't anymore. Such thoughts poison the mind and the heart." He rubbed her bleeding lip, "You can act like such a child, but something tells me that is because you miss that part of life. Didn't everything seem easier as children? We worried about having enough food and playing." He let a deep chuckle escape his lips.
Terra enjoyed hearing his laugh. She could relax with him near, it didn't seem to matter where she was, in the end she couldn't fool herself, that laugh of his could calm her. She had faced one of the deadliest men in the world to prevent the man before her from being killed. She was lucky that things often found a way of working out, but something inside her prevented her from saying any of this.
Everything suddenly came to a roaring halt when Terra's stomach sounded its protest to the delay of their meal.
Farkas laughed out loud and pulled away from her and returned to his spot near the fire. As he served the food, he broke the silence, "Just because your stomach has interrupted this talk doesn't mean this has ended. Terra, we have to clear the air of everything. How can I claim that I have been purified if there is still this aura of discontent hanging around us?"