Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. If I did, Roy and Ed would have a happy ending together.
Author's note: As of now, this story is a one shot. Tell me what you think of it and I may continue it a bit.
Goodbye
"Come in Fullmetal," called Colonel Mustang.
Ed came in silently and closed the door, causing Mustang to raise an eyebrow in interest.
"Long time no see. What? No kicking down the door? No screams and insults?"
Instead of the out burst he had expected, the blonde merely kept his face turned downward, just as he had when he entered.
Roy wondered if perhaps the young man had finally gained a bit of maturity. Surprisingly, he felt a little sad at the thought.
So Roy decided to bait him.
"I'm glad you came to turn in your report Fullmetal. I needed something short and amusing to break the monotony," said Roy with a smirk.
Still Fullmetal remained silent with his head bowed. But Roy noticed the tenseness in Ed's shoulders and his fists that were clenched until the knuckles were white. But still no explosion.
Roy frowned. This was not normal Fullmetal behavior. Something was wrong…
One more try… "If you'll give me a moment I'll move the papers so I can see you better or I can get you a booster seat-- "
"Shut up Bastard!" Ed yelled at him with a hoarse voice. But as soon as he did, the blonde fell to his knees, his small frame racking with coughs as he doubled over.
Roy's eyes widened in shock. "Fullmetal! Edward!" He quickly stood and sprinted to Edward's side. He was just kneeling when Edward gave a horrible lurch forward as one more vicious cough ripped itself out of his lungs, and Roy saw a splatter of blood fly from Edward's mouth as he attempted to cover the cough with his arms.
"Edward…" Roy didn't know what to say.
"There, are you happy now, you bastard?" Ed sneered angrily, and with no little bit of shame.
"Edward, what's wrong—?"
"Nothing is wrong!" Ed yelled again, immediately regretting it as he fell back to coughing. When he pulled his gloved hand away, it was stained pink.
Roy looked on in shock. What was wrong with him? Why hadn't he told anyone? With that thought, Roy himself began to get angry.
"Fullmetal, what is the meaning of this? Why didn't you tell me you were ill? The hospital is covered—"
"I've already been to the damn doctor, you idiot," said Edward hatefully, but quietly.
"What did they say?"
Edward looked away. Of all the people to find out, why did it have to be him? He didn't look up, he couldn't face those eyes. Those eyes that could make him furious but giddy, proud and ashamed, strong yet oh so weak…
He didn't want to see their fire dimmed, when he said what he had to say…
"I'm dying Roy," he whispered.
Roy's breath caught in his chest. Did he just hear what he thought he had?
"What did you say?"
"I said I'm dying!" said Ed a little louder, but dared not yell.
"But how? It's just a cough—"
"It's more than just a cough," said Ed scornfully.
"Then what is it?"
"They don't know… some genetic anomaly or something…" said Ed. "My mom she… she died the same way." He paused. "There is no cure."
Roy was too shocked to believe. Suddenly he shook his head, "No…"
"Roy…" said Ed painfully.
"No, there has to be a way. Maybe with alchemy—"
"It's genetics Roy! It would mean human transmutation!"
"I'm willing to take that risk!" yelled Roy.
"Well I'm not!" Ed yelled back, panicked. But he doubled up again as he heaved through another spasm of coughs.
Roy was till in a state of shock. But slowly coherent thoughts started to form, and realization began to sink in, "This is too far progressed to be something recent…"
Again Ed didn't meet his eyes—not good.
"I've known something was wrong for a while, but I didn't want to believe it… Finally about two weeks ago I told Al that I was going to get something for a cold, but instead I went to a specialist."
He fists clenched as he remembered the tests and the results.
"As soon as she told me what it was, and what it would lead to—I knew."
It went quiet as both men considered the implications of this.
"So you haven't told Al?"
"No, not yet. I don't want to worry him."
"Well he should be worried," said Roy with a stern voice. "He deserves to know."
"I know that," barked Ed..
Another silent pause. Another question
"Are there any treatments at all?"
"There are some, but they only buy you some time, and try to ease the pain."
"Will you take them?" Roy asked.
"The pain relievers definitely. The others—I don't know.""
"I wish you would…"
"And draw out the experience of dying?" asked Ed with a cynical laugh that made Roy wince.
"Edward…"
"I don't want your pity, Colonel. Neither you nor anyone else's, not now or ever," said Ed.
'But especially not yours…'
Roy sighed. He felt so… useless.
Roy looked up from the floor where he had been staring through the conversation. It was then he realized that they were still sitting on said floor. He slowly stood up and held a hand out to Ed, who looked at it questioningly.
"Come on, sitting on a cold floor won't help you," said Roy, still holding out his hand.
Ed nodded and took the proffered hand with his non-bloodied one. Once he was up Roy lead him gently to the couch and sat him down, then took a seat beside him.
"So… when did you find out the test results?"
"About a week ago."
Roy nodded. "Is that why you left for Rizembool a few days ago?"
Ed nodded as well, his eyes down cast. "I wanted to go back and see Winry and Auntie Pinako while I was still in half decent health. I also went to see her…"
"Her?" Roy inquired. Was it a girlfriend? He felt a twang in his chest at the thought.
"My mom," said Edward, keeping his face down, obscured by the loose golden bangs that framed his soft face. "I just wanted to…"
'He wanted to say goodbye,' thought Roy, that twang turning into an ache.
Before he could check himself, Roy lifted his hands and brushed back Ed's bangs, then cupped his face, gently forcing the blonde to look him in the eye. The golden orbs were pooled with unshed tears as he fought to maintain his composure. The terminal illness, his very real empathy with what his mother had lived with, Roy being so kind… it was all too much at once.
"Its alright Ed. Its ok to cry…"
"No its not!" sobbed Ed as his face scrunched up in defeat, the tears falling free. "I have to be strong! I can't die! Not yet! I still have to get Al's body back! I wasn't supposed to die until I got it back!"
Understanding shown in Roy's eyes.
Edward had never intended to get his own body parts back…
Because he never intended to live to get them back.
"You knew… how long have you known?!"
Ed gulped but didn't look down. Roy could see it in his eyes.
"I started noticing back when Al and I were taught by Sensei…"
Once again, shock.
That was seven years ago at the least. And if it had continued to progress since then…
"How- how long do you have?"
Ed squeezed his eyes shut, allowing more tears to fall onto his cheek.
"If I take the treatments… six months at the most…"
Up until then, Roy had done fairly well controlling the turbulence of his emotions. But with those words, the fact that Ed wouldn't always be there- not just awol, but completely gone- finally struck home. In six months time when the flowers were just beginning to bloom, Edward's would wilt and be gone forever…
In that moment, he felt his world fall apart.
Roy closed his eyes and pulled Edward to him, burying his face in the golden locks. And there in the Colonel's office both alchemists gave into their grief- Roy with his face buried in the golden halo of Edward's hair, drinking in it's rosy scent and silky texture, Edward with his fists balled in the Colonel's uniform, clinging to this one comfort, noticing the slight musky aroma of lavender and smoke that hung around the man.
Slowly Ed tilted his face to look up at Roy, who in turn hadn't taken his eyes off the distraught blonde. For a moment their eyes locked, and neither wanted to be the one to break the moment. Deep lead met pure gold-
Then before he could second guess himself, Ed leaned forward and fluttered a brief kiss across Roy's lips.
But to Roy, it was electrifying.
Never had he experienced a kiss like that. It was both pure and passionate, laced with an emotion he had never quite felt before, which scared him.
It scared him because if he didn't know any better, he'd say it was a four letter word…
But funny enough, though it did frighten him a bit, he also felt quite content with it… happy even.
A blush colored Edward's pale face as he fully realized what he had just done. Roy's heart skipped a beat at the sight.
Ed began to pull away, "I- I'm so sorry-" he stammered.
But before Ed could pull himself away, Roy wrapped an arm around his slim waist and pulled him back into his lap. Ed gave a small gasp as Roy's lips captured his own in a tender kiss, though deeper than the previous one.
This time when they pulled apart it was Ed who was in shock. The Colonel had kissed him back! But before he could lose himself in the giddy gladness of having his long hidden feelings reciprocated, reality crashed in around him. So slowly and painfully he pushed himself away.
Roy looked down at him in confusion. Had he done something wrong?
"Roy, I can't- it wouldn't be fair-"
Roy felt his heart wrench. No, it wasn't fair to either of them. To finally find themselves together, only to be ripped apart any day.
But Roy also realized that no matter how little or long he had with Ed, he wanted to spend what time he could with him. He wanted to be there for him, to hold him when he cried, share what laughs there were to be had, to hold his hand when the time came…
He didn't want Edward to die alone. He was far too good to deserve that.
Roy gave Ed the ghost of a grin, "What are your plans?"
"Not sure yet. I need to put what affairs I have in order. But seeming as I'm not over burdened in family or possessions there's not much to that. And I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to work for the state since I'm already getting weak and its only supposed to get worse from here-"
"Then quit," said Roy with resolution.
"But I can't!" pleaded Ed. "If I resign the watch then I lose access to the funds and the library! Not to mention our only living quarters! I have to-!"
"It shouldn't be hard to get you an open Major classification clearance so you can continue to use the library," said Roy. Then he took a deep breath, readying himself for the next step. "And as for funds and living quarters, I would invite you and Al to stay with me."
Edward was stunned speechless. Was Roy offering to let them live with him? Ed's face scrunched up in confusion. "I don't understand, there's no way we could pay you back. It wouldn't be equivalent exchange-"
"Equivalent Exchange is not the only law of the world," said Roy, reaching up to stroke Ed's soft check. "Now that I finally have you, I'm not going to pass you up. I'm asking- no begging- for you to move in with me, for what little time we may have. Its always been difficult for me to send you out on those stupid missions knowing what a magnet you are for trouble. I sure as hell am not going to do it now.
Please, stay with me."
"I can't-"
"Yes you can! Once you leave the military they can't touch you. And with your declining health they won't be able to stop you."
"But Roy, I'm just going to-"
"Damn it, Ed! For once in your life accept the help offered you! Accept me!"
Ed bowed his head. He wanted to accept, he really did, but…
"I can't stay Roy, because in the end I will only hurt you. It would be best if I just stayed away-"
"I am not going to let you die alone, Edward Elric," said Roy, conviction in his voice. He lifted Ed's face one more time, "Please let me be there for you. Please don't push me away. Please, stay…"
As Edward met Roy's eyes, he knew he couldn't refuse the man his wish. He leaned forward and rested his forehead against Roy's chin, feeling lips brush against his skin. "If you insist…"'
"I do," said Roy with a small smile.
Ed snorted, "What? No ring band to go with that?"
"Only if you want one…"
"Ha, imagine what the others would say to that."
"Well, Hughes would be happy I finally got a wife…"
"Wife?! I'm not your wife because I'm not a fucking chick you bastard!" Ed said, smacking Roy on the shoulder with is flesh team.
"I'm certainly not the one wearing the skirt in this relationship…"
"Neither am I!"
"Well, there was that one time at Havoc's birthday bash…"
"Damn it! I told you I was drunk! It was the first time I drank!"
"Speaking of that skirt, do you still have it?"
Ed's face flushed and he kind of looked away, "And what if I did?"
"Oh nothing, just a few ideas…"
"Forget it bastard! I'm not wearing another of your damn mini-skirts!"