I wrote this ages ago on tumblr and decided to spruce it up a bit and transfer it over now. Hope you enjoy :)

OO OO OO OO

Kendra Sorenson was tired.

It was a tired that made her want to lay down and sleep and not wake up for years.

It was a tired that made her body heavy, not achy, where she just wanted to rest.

It was a tired where she just wanted to lean on her mom and have a nice home-cooked meal and relax.

Kendra Sorenson was tired, but she couldn't go home.

She would never be able to again.

She wondered briefly if she even had a home now. Her parents thought her dead after all, was their home hers anymore? And well- their home was empty too.

The Sphinx had stolen her from her home, and then stolen her home from her when he took her parents.

So she couldn't go home, she didn't have a home anymore.

Or... she did have here.

She had Fablehaven, the attic bedroom for her and Seth. She'd miss having her own room but- it... she could have a home here.

She groaned, dropping onto her bed and thinking.

If this was her home she needed to unpack, all the boxes were stacked next to her bed still from where Warren and Seth had gathered everything.

She'd never even unpacked fully from the stuff they'd taken from the house before they knew she was alive.

She didn't want to unpack though, she didn't want Fablehaven to be her new home. She wanted the home she'd grown up in, with her parents there to comfort her and her friends there to take her out to do something fun, something not buried in grief and life and death.

But she couldn't see them, because they thought she was dead. Because the fake her had died, because she'd been kidnapped, because she'd nearly died herself-

Her mind flashed back to Wyrmroost, the many near death experiences, Gavin- Navarog-

She pressed her hands against her eyes and just breathed for a long moment. Tears burned but she didn't let them fall.

She couldn't think of Gav-Nava-him right now, not without crying.

He'd been her friend, maybe something more, but he'd- what he'd done- and what he'd tried to do...

She shook her, shoving the thoughts from her and almost lunging for the boxes.

She needed a distraction, unpacking would do. She didn't want to think, just wanted- wanted something of home. The boxes had that.

She opened the first box, filled with clothes. That was easy enough, she could put those up in the very nice wardrobe in the room. It hadn't had much use so far, but it would hold her stuff nicely.

So she gathered the dresses and hung them up, then grabbed her nicer shirts and skirts and pants and the jackets and hung them, and put the other clothes in the drawers next to the wardrobe. The socks and underwear added to another drawer, and shoes put under her bed.

She discarded that box, reaching for the next. It was filled with desk supplies.

She didn't have a desk her, but that was okay. She'd ask her grandparents if she could get one later, for now she'd put that box aside.

The next book was filled with her school notes, notebooks, and books. She rearranged things on the bookshelf, dedicating a shelf to her school stuff.

The next box held her pictures and wall decorations. She hung what she could, breath catching on a photo of her with her friends, and put the rest away to hand later.

More boxes were opened and emptied, bedding, pillows, her three treasured stuffed animals, trinkets from over the years, her yearbooks, and so much more.

Finally she reached the stuff packed before Wyrmroost, the things she'd never gotten around to unpacking.

First was her notebook for Patton's journal, filled her her theories on things he talked about. She smiled at it, promising herself to read the book once more, it was always a comfort. She'd look through her notes too, just in case something could help them.

Then there was her photobook.

Her hands froze on it and she swallowed hard. She hadn't expected them to save this before even knowing she was alive-

She opened it and blinked back tears at the sight of her childhood preserved in the pages. Seth when he was born, her achievements, Seth's achievements, her with her friends, their birthday parties, holidays, celebrations-

She shook her head, letting out a shaky breath as she closed the book.

She missed them so much it ached.

She carefully placed it on the bookshelf, in easy reach, then turned back to the box.

Next was... a bundle of letters.

She didn't really trade letters with people, and birthday letters and stuff were saved in her moms scrapbook so that-

That meant these were from-

She slowly pulled the first one out, Gav- Navarog's handwriting filled the page.

She read it slowly, one of the very first he'd sent her. It was awkward, hesitant, he'd mentioned he didn't really know what to put in letters but wanted to keep in contact with her. He wanted to get to know her.

She swallowed and grabbed the next one, and then the next, unable to stop herself from reading everything he'd sent.

I hope that you're doing alright at home, must be relaxing.

Good luck in school! You're really smart so I'm sure you must be doing amazing.

How'd your test go? It sounded hard.

I wish you could be here, this mission isn't nearly as fun without you.

If you could have a souvenir from a deadly preserve, what would it be? On an unrelated note, I'm on a deadly preserve for this mission.

My team members keep mocking me for being so young and I would like to offer you a sincere apology for telling you that you should stay behind before our mission. You're far more competent than any of them despite your age and even though it was out of worry I should've trusted that you knew your own limits.

I have come to the conclusion that I do not like acid wastelands. What do you think of them?

What's your favorite color?

I really like the picture you sent of your garden! It's so pretty.

Wow, you're learning the piano? That's amazing! Maybe I can hear you play sometime.

So schools have dances? I've never been to one before. How do they work?

There are so many fairies here, this mission would be infinitely easier if you were with us :(

Maybe I can come with you to your dance!

I can't wait to see you again, it's been so long.

The next was too blurry to see, and the others were wet. Why were they-

Oh, she was crying.

She choked back a sob, clutching the letters tightly to her chest.

Why?

Why did he do all of this?

Why did he lie to her?

Did he fine it funny? Watching her fall for him as he twisted her around him until she didn't notice anything off at all?

Did he find lying to them not enough?

Did he want to mock her?

Laugh about how he'd romanced her and made her fall for him?

Did he tell the Sphinx?

Did he tell the Society about how he'd tricked her into trusting him? Into loving him?

She'd never really had a crush before and Ga-Nava-He'd been there- she'd felt the flutter in her stomach, the flush on her cheeks. He'd brightened her day with every letter sent.

What was the point?

Why would he-

Why did he-

How could someone lie so clearly, so blatantly, and feel nothing?

It was all a lie, he'd looked at her with those lovely eyes and said he cared and then killed their friends. He'd trapped Warren. He'd threatened Kendra.

He'd betrayed them.

Betrayed her.

She cradled the letters close, chest aching from her sobs.

He wrote all of it to her, and didn't even hesitate to threaten her, to risk killing her.

And now he was dead.

He was dead and she was here and he lied to her. He did all of that, held her trust, her love, and and and

And he was gone, so why did it hurt so much?

She knew it was a lie now, why did she care?

She wished that the letters were the truth. She wished Navarog had been Gavin. She wished he hadn't- hadn't-

She stared at the letters in her hands, eyes burning as she sniffed.

She should've burned them.

Should've trashed them.

Should've torn them to piece.

She stumbled to her feet and moved to the trashcan, letters in her hands.

She should've gotten rid of them, they held nothing but lies.

She didn't go to the trashcan, she stopped at her dresser.

They should've been tossed, shouldn't have been kept.

They didn't need to be remembered, they shouldn't have held any hold on her.

But...

She put them in her sock drawer.

They shouldn't have been remembered.

Gavin was a lie, he was a pretty lie that she'd loved dearly. Navarog was the truth, the evil that would've devoured them all.

But she couldn't forget Gavin.

OO OO OO OO

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave a review, they feed my soul.

How do you think Kendra handled the letters? Should they have been destroyed? Do you want to give her a hug?